Joe Jonas: "Look Me in the Chink-Eyes"
Oh, Joe. Not you too. Now I'm gonna have to throw out my Jonas Brothers records along with my Miley Cyrus records. What's left to listen to? Radiohead?! Not. Fair. Because I love you guys. I do, I really do. Midgets are magical creatures, like unicorns. And, no, it's not a sexual thing, because I wear a purity ring just like you. I, too, think I'm better than everyone else and want to save myself for marriage. But if you're better than everyone else, Joe, why this?
Why disappoint your fans? Why not stick to doing what you do best, and by that I mean wearing scarves and trimming your bushy eyebrows so they don't grow down into your eyes? Your pretty, pretty, un-slanty eyes. (Actually, come to think of it, a lot of people think you have slanty eyes.) But, but...where was I? Your eyes. Right. Your pretty eyes make my giney tickle. No, I didn't mean that. I will stay pure, even if you don't. Yes, I did. God, I'm so confused! What do I believe in anymore? What's next? Are you really even a virgin? Can I honestly believe that you and Camilla Belle haven't done the nasty? What if that purity ring is like Britney's vow to keep her cherry until marriage, in other words, a big fat lie? What if everything about you and your brothers is one big fat lie? What if you're not really these squeaky-clean nice guys, and you're actually d-bags? How do I know that you don't like porn and have herpes and really like making out with other guys? Are you and your brothers really even midgets? Do you like smoking marijuana? Oh, Joe. I hate this feeling. I do. My giney is so not tickling for you right now. So. Not.
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"Midgets are magical creatures.
So while musing about the cultural insensitivity (and public gaffes) of certain celebrities, the author drops a comparison of little people to unicorns. Wonderful.
The purity ring must be radioactive.
Ha ha. Funny, witty article. I like.
okay this post made me laugh out loud.. keep up the good work..
and can i just go on the record as a white person and say that every white person in the whole world has done the "asian eyes" thing at some point? i'm not saying its not racist - obviously it is slightly racist - what i'm saying is i don't think its fair for miley cyrus and the jonas guys to take the full brunt of a completely common cultural phenomenon.
actually, come to think of it, maybe they should.
Yeah, I did it too---
40 freaking years ago, in school, when I was 8. Not when I was 14, or 15, etc. Even in the pre-PC age we all knew not to do that. Childhood indicretions, by definition, must be in CHILDHOOD.
People who attend award shows dressed like grown up SHOULD have more expected of them, and "apologizing" with the good old "oh gee, was that offensive, I dint meaaaaaaaan anything by it, oh poor ME" pretty much shows what to expect from them in the future. Spin and lies.
My daughter has been taught better, obviously better than the Jonas family or the Cyrus family has chosen to teach their children.
I think what people don't like is how it shows what these young people come from, and the kind of adults they will make, and the true nature of the Jonas and Cyrus families.
My daughter at age 8 knew better, because she was taught better.
Can we not have ethnic slurs in the headlines and on the front page?
Except in quotation and with no other alternative, I would prefer we don't see them at all.
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