Second Life Hookers Way Less Interesting Than Real Life Hookers

I discovered over the weekend that you can sorta make a living--albeit in Linden Dollars--as a Second Life hooker. (The current exchange rate is 250 Linden Dollars to the US Dollar, and a high-priced Second Life call girl makes 2000-3000 a night, which amounts to 3 or 4 lattes in the real world.) I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, because every economy in the real world also seems to exist on Second Life, but I've never actually been on Second Life, nor have I even had the inclination, so this was news to me.

And I was intrigued. Oh, the possibilities! Can you imagine what hookers are like in a virtual world? They could be Ph.D candidates-cum-hookers! Or astronauts-cum-hookers! Or race car drivers-cum-hookers! Or classical pianists-cum-hookers! (Yes, I'm aware that I just wrote "cum" four times.) So I went on a Second Life escort site to see what these virtual ladies of the night were all about, expecting to find many unexpected and therefore titillating choices.



Name: Fuktoi Nakamura
Nationality: English
Languages: English
Age: 19
Bust Size: D

"Amerasian, best of both worlds. I'd love to be your instrument of pleasure: I'm Bi, girls don't be shy. Escort/model/assasin (sic), take your pick."

Name: Zero Owatatsumi

"If you want, I do dress in cosplay. I can be innocent if you want, or dominting (sic). Men/Women welcome."

Name: Kimmie Park
Nationality: Asian
Languages: Chinese, English
Age: 23
Hair: Black
Eyes: Blue

"I'm a 23 year old slender Asian play toy...I am naturally submissive but can switch."



And then, quite suddenly, I was bored. Bored out of my gourd. Between the drive-bisexuality, the declarations of submissiveness, the Asian chick with the blue eyes, the obligatory and dare I say weary mention of cosplay, and the horrible spelling, I was no longer intrigued, "Escort/model/assasin" notwithstanding (which was kinda funny). If this is as good and imaginative and kinky as hookers get in Second Life, then life must be just as dull, pedestrian and predictable as it is in the First.

Sounds like. So. Much. Fun. Sign me up.

[via BuzzFeed and Kotaku]

Comments

[RobinSeattle]

Second Life does require a sense of humor because a lot of it is pretty absurd. There are tons of exceedingly interesting, creative and educated folks you can meet there while you can also run into hordes of clueless noodnicks whose maturity was arrested at age 14. Also, vast tracts of it are as empty of people as the Sahara.

I think most SL players look at it as what it is, a freewheeling escape and a chance to experiment with different lifestyles and situations without consequences in a milieu that has a lot of technical shortcomings (lag being the biggest one). It has become a kind of AOL for virtual worlds and will likely go out of business when something more naturalistic and user friendly comes along (though there is nothing better than SL at the moment).