My son hadn't had a home-cooked meal in eons, and I was certainly in no shape to be near sharp knives and a hot oven. "Where's my f-ing casserole?" the voice in my head said. After all, I was mourning a death, too: the death of my marriage.
I've have never been so grateful to have music in my life as I while was going through my breakup. Every song felt like a rung of a ladder and in the end, helped to lift me up and back out into the world.
Whitney Houston's death Saturday was filled with tragedy. She leaves behind a daughter, Bobbi Kristina Brown, a promising young singer who at age 18 is way too young to lose a mother.
I have relationships with lawyers I've faced as opponents over and over again; we have a shared history. The fact of our lives as lawyers is that clients come and go, but our relationships with each other can endure for decades.
I'm divorced, single and past sixty. Friends fix me up with their rejects, or at dinner parties I find myself sitting next to the newly divorced or widowed 80-year old boomer who wants to take me to Viagra Falls.
I feel assaulted whenever I encounter clichéd images of romance -- advertisements to buy flowers, candy, diamonds, sexy underwear, even cell phones -- all to show love. Buy, buy, buy! Love, love, love! I say Bah Humbug!
For many, Valentine's is "D" Day -- Divorce Day! Hey honey, here is a box of heart chocolates, red roses, and a summons in which you have been served with a dissolution proceeding; certainly not an "Aphrodite" moment to commemorate Valentine's Day.
When you put two outsize egos together in one marriage, the combination can be combustible.
In order to get divorced, I traveled back to the Midwestern college town where I'd lived for a year with my soon-to-be ex. I hadn't put down substantial roots there in a year's time, but I'd made some friends, including a nice couple from my church who let me stay with them for a few nights.
When I got divorced, I remember saying to my mother, "This is not where I thought I would be at this stage of my life." I was sad when I said it, and stuck in the disappointment of my failed marriage. Divorce had definitely not been part of my life plan.
Last November my ex came home for a month and wanted to remarry. After trying to reconcile and fix her, it was obvious she didn't love me; still wanted him, so I asked her to leave. It was hard for me, but harder for the kids.
This is a season when there's supposed to be love in the air: a feeling of roses, boxes of chocolates, couples buying diamonds, and what not. But you know what it really feels like? Like divorce is in the air.
Friday evening, Herb arrives. He's one of those men who is ageless -- fit, with short-cropped silver hair, suspicious hazel eyes. He looks like Tony Bennett.
If he were dead the hurt would stop. I could systematically build him up -- make him better -- create a complex character who loved his daughters, but was incapable of showing it, and alas, tragically, time ran out.
We don't really know what happened in Heidi and Seal's marriage, and they deserve their privacy as they work through their separation. But we can surmise that one of two things happened: Their relationship fell apart because of trauma or neglect.
If sex isn't happening, then certainly the core concept of "making love" isn't happening either. Couples are losing the opportunity at all levels of physical touch to connect with their partner.
My husband recently ended an affair, which I have known about for the past five months. I feel so shattered and confused. How can I ever trust him again?
I don't come from a divorced family so maybe I'll never understand it as well as people who do, but even when I was growing up, I don't ever recall as many people getting divorced as I hear about today.
Divorce is selfish by necessity when you think about it. No matter what, someone gets hurt. If it isn't you, then it is your kids and if it isn't your kids, then it is your ex, but in the end, someone has to pay the price. The question is, who can adjust the best?
Judith Acosta, 2012.22.02
Marsha Temlock, 2012.22.02
Jennifer Evans Gardner, 2012.21.02
Terry Radigan, 2012.21.02
Tara Fass, 2012.21.02