Dear Vice President Biden,
I would just like to let you know that I am completely comfortable with your marriage to your wife, Jill. You seem like an upstanding fellow, and Jill seems like a terrific gal. And if you would be so kind, please let Barack and Michelle know that I am comfortable with their marriage, too. They appear to be such a charming couple. I am sure that it will make them feel good to know of my comfort level with them. I have never met any of you, but I think that if I were to be in your presence, I would be downright relaxed!
No, wait. Sorry! I spoke too quickly. I just consulted with some friends, and they made me realize that maybe I am not as comfortable with you as I thought I was. It would be more appropriate for me to say that my opinions about you are evolving.
Please do not get me wrong: I think that you are all just peachy. I really do. But let's be honest here: Given that I do not know you personally, it is probably wrong to project my comfort level with you. It is much safer for me to say I am evolving, so we will just leave it at that.
My evolution may take some time before any change is evident. Why don't you get back to me sometime after the election, maybe in the summer of 2013, and we can revisit my opinions about you then?
Please do not be upset. I still value you and respect everything that you say. In fact, I recently watched a marathon of Will & Grace episodes on your advice. I saw you on Meet the Press when you said that "Will & Grace probably did more to educate the American public than almost anything anybody's ever done so far." I never realized this! You have really opened my eyes! After watching multiple episodes, I learned so much about homosexuals that I never knew before. I am gay and have lots of gay friends, but I have never met any people who resembled some of the flamboyant, fictional gay characters on that show. I think I have a much better understanding of the fullness of the gay community (and myself!) now. I will continue to take your advice and educate myself about other aspects of my life. I am also Italian-American, so should I watch The Sopranos or My Cousin Vinny, do you think? While I am at it, I would like to learn more about what life is really like for you and President Obama. I will watch more West Wing reruns to understand the reality of your lives.
OK, well, I do not want to take up any more of your time. I realize that you are a very busy man. I am busy myself this week! You see, I was going to visit North Carolina, but now I must change those plans. My thoughts about that state are evolving, too.
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