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Domenick Scudera

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Reclaiming the Gay F-Word

Posted: 11/15/11 07:12 PM ET

In the past year, sports stars and celebrities have been throwing around a gay slur with reckless abandon (you know the one -- starts with an F and rhymes with "maggot"). Kobe Bryant, Joakim Noah and Wayne Simmonds muttered or screamed the word in anger during games this past season. Last week, Brett Ratner used the word flippantly at a film screening Q&A. The responses to these actions were swift, but were they enough? Kobe Bryant was fined $100,000, but taking 100 grand out of Kobe's paycheck is like taking $1.59 out of mine. Did that really teach him a lesson? Brett Ratner was fired from being the producer of the Oscars telecast, but if he is the kind of person who uses words like "fag," he probably didn't want to work on the Oscars, a.k.a. the Gay Super Bowl, anyway.

So... what's to be done?

I have a solution. I want to reclaim the word. You have probably heard of other people reclaiming offensive language to remove the sting, and now it is the gays' turn. I have never done this before, but I think I have a pretty good idea about how it might work. Here is what I propose: designate one day a week, say, a Friday, as Fag Friday or, simply, Fagday. During the course of the day, substitute words that have positive connotations with the word "fag" or "faggot." For instance, instead of saying, "Have a nice day!" say, "Have a fag day!" "Nice" = "fag." Get it? For lunch, order a "faggot, lettuce and tomato" sandwich. I know, I know, bacon is bad for you, but everyone secretly likes it, so the subliminal message given is of something delicious and satisfying.

I cannot do this alone. I need the help of all the other fags and their supporters. If we all do this all day long on Fagdays, then the whole nation will be equating "faggots" with happy, joyful things. The general public will overhear statements like these all day long:

  • "Fag morning. How may I help you?"
  • "You look absolutely fagtastic today!"
  • "Oh, Karen, your baby is just faggy! Look at that faggoty face!"
  • "Would you like fags with that?"
  • "Today's forecast: bright fagshine and clear skies."

Why stop there? This can be fun! We can reclaim popular TV show titles: America's Got Faggots, It's Always Faggy in Philadelphia, How I Met Your Faggot, Two and a Half Fags, America's Next Top Faggot. The possibilities are endless.

It is difficult to erase this word as a slur, I realize. Originally meaning a "bundle of sticks," it is said that hurling the word as an insult may come from burning gay people at the stake. That story is a myth, but no matter what the derivation may be, the word's negative history is longstanding. In the 16th century, it meant a worthless woman. In the 19th century, it referred to a lowly schoolboy. Not that long ago, former House majority leader Dick Armey referred to his colleague Barney Frank as Barney Fag (and then tried to blame the media for reporting it). Conservative commentator Anne Coulter called Vice President Al Gore a "total fag." The cartoon boys of South Park managed to change the meaning of the word once, only to replace it with something equally unfavorable: "an extremely annoying, inconsiderate person most commonly associated with Harley riders." In England, "fag" is slang for cigarette, but in America, our Surgeon General warns us against cigarettes and tells us they may kill us. Do we gays really want to be associated with a word this harmful?

Our Fagday campaign could bring new, positive, subliminal messages to America. Imagine the change if we can pull this off. When the Westboro Baptist Church holds up a sign at a funeral that reads "God Hates Fags," onlookers may turn to each other and say, "Why does God hate something so fabulous? That doesn't make any sense. I don't think these people speak for God." Now, that would be nice, wouldn't it?

I am going to officially propose this idea at the next Gay Agenda meeting. But those meetings are bi-annual ("bi"! how ironic) and we will not meet again until April. Maybe you all can help me start something now so there's no waiting? A sort of grassroots, Occupy Faggot kind of movement? There's no time like the present. The holiday season is upon us. Think of the opportunities: "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Faggot," "We Three Fags," "O Holy Fag," "Hark! The Herald Faggots Sing," "The Little Drummer Fag."

It's just a word. It will hurt you only if you let it.

May the Fag be with you!

 
In the past year, sports stars and celebrities have been throwing around a gay slur with reckless abandon (you know the one -- starts with an F and rhymes with "maggot"). Kobe Bryant, Joakim Noah and...
In the past year, sports stars and celebrities have been throwing around a gay slur with reckless abandon (you know the one -- starts with an F and rhymes with "maggot"). Kobe Bryant, Joakim Noah and...
 
 
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04:19 AM on 12/15/2011
This idea is SO gay!

(See what I did there?)
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Valerie Keefe
04:30 PM on 11/17/2011
For one of the original and best at this particular act of reclamation, see Scott Thompson spell it out, literally, on Kids In The Hall.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
hippie canyon
not available on gps
03:02 PM on 11/17/2011
Scudera is an idiot. Plain and simple.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Domenick Scudera
01:10 AM on 11/18/2011
Thanks!
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DavidEm
Estne volumen in toga?
11:34 AM on 11/17/2011
It's a horrible idea. Homophobes hearing the word used MORE will just have their homophobia reinforced, and feel freer to use it derogatorily more often. The idea that this project would have a positive impact in our country as a whole seems so wrongheaded. Makes me think the author must be pretty insulated.

And no, I don't think the "rehabilitation" of the n-word (I won't even write it) was a big stride forward for African-American pride, either. If you ever encounter any outspoken racists, you'll find that they take it as a license for EVERYONE to use that word.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
hippie canyon
not available on gps
04:16 PM on 11/17/2011
Absolutely right David!
01:46 PM on 11/16/2011
or we could act like everyone is the same and give up on these tired rants about whose turn it is to be offended by language... words, people
01:16 PM on 11/16/2011
No
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Bill J4321
01:03 PM on 11/16/2011
I say if the heterosexuals want the word 'fa**ot' so much, let them have it.

They seem to love it. Celebrate it, even.

For myself, it is an instant indicator of a person's true character. A decent human being would never use the word. Even in jest.

I'd rather be aware of the truth of the people I deal with in life, so I say give the heterosexuals the word they love so very much.

After all, the heterosexuals who use it say absolutely nothing about gay people when they use the word, but absolutely everything about themselves.
12:46 PM on 11/16/2011
Personally, I don't identify with being a phag or a queer. I don't even call myself "gay' because it simply doesn't define who I am. I am a man in every sense of the word who enjoys the company of other men. The whole reason we have derogatory slurs for gay people is because so many gay men persist in the kind of anti-social behaviors that make us look like gender confused perves. I am not confused about my gender. I don't act like a girl and I don't have friends who think it serves any purpose to perpetuate negative gay stereotypes. I thought the whole point of "gay liberation" was to show the world that we are not a bunch of girly men. Sexual orientation is not a choice but the way you behave most certainly is. Each of us shares an historic responsibility to change the way we present ourselves to the world. A world full of masculine gay mentors would go a long way towards ending the rampant bullying in our schools and could be the difference between life and death for many struggling young souls.
08:20 PM on 11/16/2011
So, the masculine gay men who fit in with heterosexuals should perhaps join them in persecuting those pervy gay men who are naturally not quite as masculine in public as they should be?
Buddy, with guys like you on our side, we're doomed. The POINT to liberation was so that anyone can be anything they want to be, are comfortable being and that they have the absolute RIGHT to be themselves as long as they harm none.
Punishing bulliers will stop bullying, not having socially identified "feminine" men become masculinized. The socially created fantasy of "masculinity" is just that: a fabrication. Congratulations to you for being such a proud brave soul that you'll mold yourself into whatever form society dictates so you fit in just so well. Not only that, but you'll be more than happy to help the ignorant oppressors mold everyone else as well. You disgust me. I'd rather be ME than be as frightened as you are. By the way, just how "masculine" is being such a wet coward?
03:01 PM on 11/17/2011
I don't disagree with you that I think masculine gay role models would go a long way. Theres many hyper masculine fields like sports where its unthinkable for gay men to come out because it would be so damaging and only hurt them? Who would support them? "bears" and gay republicans are two subgroups of gay men that I can think of that are often forced to fit into the straight world as its more opening and comfortable to them than the "community". Still there is not a set norm or way to be gay. There are "masculine" to "feminine" acting gay and straight men. The stigma of sissies and lessening of men who are gay is awful but I don't think you should then try to be rude and condemn "girly men" then you are not helping anymore than anyone else.
11:16 AM on 11/16/2011
To those being, or having been bullied by the F-word I know this is a serious matter... and I was bullied and called all kinds of names, including the F-word when I was in high school. But, I LOVE reading these articles (from Domenick). They're hysterical and make me laugh out loud (usually). Keep 'em coming!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Domenick Scudera
02:09 PM on 11/16/2011
Thanks for your kind words!
I, too, am fully aware that being bullied and called the f-word is a serious matter. I was called a fag many times in my life and know what it is like. I wish we could magically take the pain of the word away. I do not want it used as a weapon either, believe me.
03:02 PM on 11/17/2011
I agree with that. It's a light hearted article on a very serious subject and kudos to him on that.
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studioh!
just.words.
11:15 AM on 11/16/2011
anyone got a cigarette?
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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10:30 AM on 11/16/2011
Love it. I on board.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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09:43 AM on 11/16/2011
I suspect like all forbidden terms, it's use will still be forbidden to outsiders. That is status quo.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
Flip75
What's wrong with my micro-bio?
12:56 PM on 11/16/2011
It kind of depends on context. If a straight friend says it to me in good humor, I don't care; if someone's screaming it at me while chasing me down with a gun, that's a different matter.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
TooLooze
Someone should do something about all the problems
09:29 AM on 11/16/2011
Not sure why this didn't post last night. Upon seeing the headline, I was prepared to be upset, but loved the article instead. F-g you very much!
08:45 AM on 11/16/2011
Alternative idea. Like with the 'N' word, only a 'F' can use the word. (If one who uses it must be one, I suspect we'll see a decline in it's use at all!)
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Tony Pepperoni
Where did all the good Republicans go?
01:09 PM on 11/16/2011
Isn't it already like this?
08:37 AM on 11/16/2011
well, **I** thought this was funny anyway . . can't wait to watch "Star F-@@0ts" or "F@gscape" on netflix