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Seven and Half Reasons Why Two and Half Men Should Scrap a Gay Season 12

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At the Television Critics Association press tour, CBS entertainment chair Nina Tassler revealed that, in the 12th and final season of Two and Half Men, the two men will pose as a gay couple so that they can adopt a child.

Here are seven and half reasons why Two and Half Men should abandon this plan:

1. It is a derivative, unfunny concept. The 2007 movie I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry had a similar plot line. Despite attempts to show that the men in that film become enlightened about gay experience after pretending to be in love, the "hilarity" in the climax of the film revolves around the men's gay panic when forced to kiss each other. Gay panic is not side-splitting entertainment. It is insulting.

2. Final season plot revisions do not work. Remember the last season of Roseanne? They won the lottery and lost their audience. Remember when The Golden Girls morphed into The Golden Palace? Nobody wanted to see those lovable senior gals checking people into a hotel.

3. Jumping the shark... twice? Does the show really want to do that?

4. Gay adoption is not so simple. Tassler claims that Ashton Kutcher's character "realizes it's very difficult to adopt a child as a single, straight man." So to make it easier, he pretends to be gay? Because it is smoother sailing for gay couples to adopt? Audiences will bust a gut laughing at the ease with which gay couples can adopt a child, right?

5. The concept is insensitive. Tassler did not understand how the plot line could bother members of the gay community. She said, "It's like, 'You know what, I'm going to adopt a child as a gay couple,' and, it's like, the reality is he can do that, and in a universe when at one point you couldn't do that and now you can do that, I think that's a much more positive statement that he's making." What universe does she, like, live in? Perhaps she should, like, sit and watch the show with gay parents in Mississippi and see how funny they think it is.

6. Same-sex marriage does not equal comedy. Tassler says, "We're gonna talk about this and we're gonna laugh about it." I have a good sense of humor, but... can't you find something else to make us laugh? Why are we gays so amusing to the rest of you? Just this past week, Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association also found gays to be real humdingers: "It's almost comical that we have allowed these people to have so much power in our culture where they can force their deviant lifestyle into the public sphere." Maybe Tassler and Fischer need to look up the definition for "comedy."

7. Two and Half Men is not Three's Company. Jack Tripper pretended to be gay (so he could room with two women) way back in 1977. That was more than 35 years ago. Ashton Kutcher wasn't even born yet. Isn't there a more novel way to breathe fresh air into an old show nowadays?

7.5. The title of the show is limiting. Maybe the show needs an adoption to add back the "half" to Two and Half Men? There are other alternatives. The show could be re-titled: Two Men. HBO's Girls is doing fine without having to explicitly define its numbers in the title. So why not call it Men? Oh, what the hell -- just call it The Odd Couple and be done with it.

Admittedly, I am judging this concept before seeing the results. Perhaps the show will break new ground.

LOL. Now that's funny!