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Don McNay

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Life Lesson from the Lottery: People Who Are Separated but Not Divorced

Posted: 07/08/2012 12:02 pm

My wife walked into a gas station and said she was buying a lottery ticket. I told her the odds were 176,000,000 to one.

She said that if she won, she would keep me the money to herself.

I explained that if she won, half of the jackpot is mine. A winning lottery ticket is a martial asset to be split equally.

Not everyone knows that.

One of the first lottery winner's I ever got to know was the divorcing spouse of a guy who won the lottery. The divorce should have been final months earlier but he was stalling it out while arguing a minor point about child support.

I'm not sure if he got his way about the child support. I do know that she got several million dollars instead.

I'm writing a new book called, Life Lessons from the Lottery. The theme is that lottery winners have the same financial and social issues that other people have. Only their problems are magnified 1000 percent.

For those of us who follow the trials and tribulations of lottery winners, seeing a separated, but not yet divorced, couple hit the lottery has happened more than once.

This makes me think there are a lot of separated couples all over America.

Various census statistics say that two to three percent of Americans (roughly six or seven million people) who are separated but don't have their divorce final.

One of them was my late sister. She fell down a flight of stairs and died at age 46, leaving a minor child and an adult child.

She also left a husband that we did not know about.

She had been married to this man for several years, and her younger child was his. However, she had told us she had divorced him several years earlier. They didn't live together and, for most of that time, she had lived in California and he had lived in Cincinnati.

He came to her funeral, which I had arranged and paid for, and though he said hello, we didn't really talk. Two days later, he had a lawyer file papers asking that he be named the estate administrator.

After exhaustive research, it turned out my sister and her husband never filed for divorce. Thus, under Kentucky law, her husband was entitled to half of my sister's estate. My nephew and niece would split the other half. It was not a lot of money but the fight caused a riff that never healed.

My sister died shortly after my mother had. Neither had wills and I suspect my sister's spouse could have elected against a will anyway. The only solution would have been for my sister's divorce to have been finalized.

Which we thought it was.

My sister was a great example of why living separate but still married can blow up from a financial standpoint but an excellent 2010 New York Times article, titled, "The Un-Divorced" argues the opposite point.

People frequently live apart and stay married for financial reasons. It will be interesting to see if the most common reason, staying on a spouse's health insurance and employee benefit plan, will change once "Obamacare" is completely implemented.

The Times article noted one of the most famous "separated but divorced" couples, billionaire Warren Buffett and his late wife Susan. They separated in 1977, stayed that way until Susan's death in 2004. Warren lived with another woman, who he married after Susan's death and Susan often made public appearances with Buffett.

I suspect that someone as financially savvy as Warren Buffett had thought through the financial ramifications of his situation but the average person does not.

Just like the average lottery player does not think about how being married but living separate will impact their situation.

Holly Lahti in Idaho won $190 million in the Mega Million's jackpot in 2011. She has zealously attempted to protect her privacy but wound up making headlines as she was in the "separated but married" category. Her husband, an ex-con with over a dozen arrests on his record, came looking for his part of the loot. His first reaction was "I won't have to pay child support" and according to a document obtained by RaderOnline.doc, that is exactly what happened.

Holly waived child and medical support for the children. It doesn't say what she received in return.

Few people will ever win the lottery but financial issues and dilemmas face anyone who is living separately but divorced.

 
 
 

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03:06 PM on 07/09/2012
It is better to be legally separated and then live together. This way your assets are separate, if you win, it's yours. You can always will your assets to your wife if you die, you can have a joint bank acct so she/he won't have a problem waiting through probate to get money for short term expenses, you can have Beneficiary deeds and TOD's on most titled items. It really is the best way, besides, it is way better than a pre-nupt, for all financial purposes you are already separated.
10:45 AM on 07/09/2012
Women want it to be split if you win but they want to keep it all if they win.

There's some equality for you.
10:07 AM on 07/09/2012
If only I could have 'those' problems. Money doesn't solve all problems, but 'not' having money creates a hell of a lot more.

By the way, "Money is the root of all evil." ? That nonsense was thought up and spread by the 1%. The real quote should be, "Hoarding Money is the Root of all Evil."
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Viable Way
Common sense is so unusual.
06:24 PM on 07/09/2012
I thought it was"the LOVE of money."
09:55 AM on 07/09/2012
To any Canadian readers, the laws are different here. My brother's father-in-law won $615,000 on a slot machine in Quebec. The first thing the casino official told him was to open a separate bank account and deposit it, that he didn't have to share any money with his spouse. Turns out that there is no law that says you must share anything with your spouse, even your paycheque. Under Canadian law it is considered a windfall, like insurance payouts or inheritances, and is not taxable as well. (You might not be married much longer, but that is another issue). There was an Ontario case where the husband won the money, said nothing, divorced the wife, and collected the $30 million almost a year later, after the divorce was final. She hired a lawyer, and got a judge to freeze his accounts. But she did not get half. They settled out of court for a much smaller amount. Personally, I have won several thousand dollars over the years and immediately handed it over to the wife, on the only condition that she spend it wisely. Brownie points matter more to me than the cash. So far, so good.
06:44 PM on 07/11/2012
You are a smart man. " If mama ain't happy no one is", is funny but very true:-)

Many peaceful years.
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HellBank
Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.
05:58 AM on 07/09/2012
Of course the effort of living paycheck to paycheck kinda sucks too. So, I think I'll ignore your 'having alot of money is a burden' 1%'r propaganda and keep hoping to hit.
04:24 AM on 07/09/2012
Every once in awhile there is a show, 'How the lottery changed my life'. I love to watch it but I am surprised at how many end up broke. There are articles online, too.

One mistake not to make is don't give power of attorney or anything that gives someone else the right to buy and sell your property. Doris Day is said to have done that with her lawyer and she ended up broke. And what he did was legal. She had given him the legal right to buy and sell what she had without her signature. All her money and property ended up with him and she couldn't legally do anything about it.

Mortgaging what you have is another mistake. One man put his money in the stock market in order to make a lot of money. He mortgaged everything he could like their two homes. Then along comes the 2008 crash and the bank had another legal right to demand payment in full. He couldn't do it so they foreclosed.

One man took the lottery yearly and didn't have enough money to pay his house payment and they forclosed on him and wouldn't wait until his next yearly check.

So don't risk your money by borrowing against it or your home. At least put half of it in a home and take care of your family so you will always have something.
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Shaun Hensley
The American Experiment has failed
01:17 AM on 07/09/2012
would it be possible to incorporate, have the corp win, and then pay yourself a salary?
04:25 AM on 07/09/2012
I have heard those 3 lawyers that won a lottery last year were collecting for a client. I don't know why it would take 3 to do it.
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Shaun Hensley
The American Experiment has failed
11:34 AM on 07/09/2012
It may take three people to form a legitimate corp, fill three roles in a corp. But now I know that it's possible, so all that's left is picking the winning numbers.
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Waveskiboy
04:48 AM on 07/09/2012
Why not? After all, Mittbot has said that corporations are people! Mittbot has spoken!