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Don Parker

Entries by Don Parker

Political Media in Shock: Real Democrats Win in Democratic Primaries

(48) Comments | Posted May 19, 2010 | 1:53 AM

In a political earthquake Tuesday, candidates who have openly admitted being Democrats won nominations in the Democratic Party primaries. Members of the media -- reporters, broadcasters, and pundits -- were last seen wandering down the streets with shocked looks on their faces, mumbling to themselves.

In the Pennsylvania Democratic...

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McCain Exposes Manchurian-Mexican Plan to Overthrow America

(15) Comments | Posted April 26, 2010 | 1:13 PM

Proving once again that his POW brainwashing experience honed his national security insight, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) hinted at a previously unknown aspect of a devious plan to overthrow America. Today, in an exclusive interview, McCain unveiled the guts of the super-secret, Manchurian-Mexican plan and warned that the free world...

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The Day Joe Biden Saved Democracy From the Pirates of the Senatorial Sea

(4) Comments | Posted March 4, 2010 | 2:51 PM

[Note: In the years ahead, history will record whether this story was a wishful fable or a milestone in American democracy.]

Sit and listen, my children. I'll tell you a wonderful story. A tale of dark times when ruthless Pirates roamed the Senatorial Sea, hijacked America, and prevented the people...

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Forget the Myth: 51 Senators Can End the Filibuster Today

(38) Comments | Posted January 28, 2010 | 10:18 AM

Forget reconciliation. Forget the filibuster and cloture. Forget the "supermajority." Forget needing sixty-seven senators to change "the rules." And forget waiting until 2011.

Forget this mythology senators would have you believe. There are no unicorns.

We're one step away from returning majority rule to the U.S. Senate and...

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Harry Reid Should be Asked: WWLBJD With Lieberman?

(49) Comments | Posted December 19, 2009 | 3:20 PM

If former Senate Majority Leader Lyndon Baines Johnson was still around today, Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.) would not be holding health care hostage. Droopy Joe would be singing soprano in the choir.

It's long past time for Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nevada) to ask, "WWLBJD?"

What Would Lyndon Baines Johnson...

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Mad Max Baucus (D-BC/BS) and his Gang of Styx

(5) Comments | Posted September 17, 2009 | 1:01 PM

Is this democracy? How can we let this Gang of Styx -- six senators so unrepresentative of the American population -- decide who gets health care and who doesn't, in some cases who lives and who dies, who gets rich and who goes bankrupt?

They are known as the Senate...

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Obama Speaks to Children in Congress, Adults in High School

(16) Comments | Posted September 10, 2009 | 1:18 PM

This week, in a nationally televised event, President Barack Obama addressed children on the brink of adulthood, urging them to work hard, set goals, stay at it when things get tough, and assured them that one day they would be able to help solve the nation's challenges.

On the...

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Republicans Demand Equal Access to Schoolchildren

(3) Comments | Posted September 5, 2009 | 1:36 AM

Amid the uproar over President Obama's grand scheme to use subliminal brainwashing to mesmerize and indoctrinate America's schoolchildren into his cult of personality, Republicans today demanded equal access to young minds so they could counterbalance the president's dangerous message.

The RNC gained an advance copy of President Obama's speech,...

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'Outlaw Mother's Milk' Says Drug Czar

(14) Comments | Posted July 23, 2009 | 7:53 PM

After declaring on Wednesday in Fresno that "marijuana is dangerous and has no medicinal benefit," Gil Kerlikowske, director of the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy said the next target will be "the biggest gateway drug of all, mother's milk."

While ramping up efforts to ensure that...

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Aerosmith, Rep. Cantor, Hookers, and Hypocrisy

(1) Comments | Posted February 16, 2009 | 11:46 PM

After Rep. Eric Cantor, the House Republican Whip, released an ad touting the Republican "victory" over the Democrats in the battle over the stimulus legislation, Aerosmith sent Cantor the following letter thanking him for promoting "Back in the Saddle," their song about hookers in a saloon town:

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Kellogg's Insider on Phelps: Corporation More Concerned About Chemical Delivery Than Marijuana

(3) Comments | Posted February 9, 2009 | 5:13 PM

As a photo of Olympian Michael Phelps apparently smoking marijuana has stirred up a national discussion, an inside source at Kellogg's has revealed that the company dropped Phelps as their spokesperson not because of potential damage to its corporate image but for undermining its true corporate mission--to keep as many...

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Pope Ratzinger to Canonize Tomás de Torquemada, His Predecessor as Inquisitor General?

(6) Comments | Posted February 2, 2009 | 6:48 PM

According to a highly placed source who can see the Vatican from his front porch, Pope Benedict XVI plans to extend his "big tent" reconciliation reunion tour by launching the canonization process for Tomás de Torquemada, the 15th century Inquisitor General.

Last week, the pope reversed the excommunication of four...

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Bush Vows Retaliation Against Canada, UK for Goose Downing of Flight 1549

(5) Comments | Posted January 16, 2009 | 1:23 PM

Within minutes of US Airways Flight 1549's crash landing in the Hudson River, a little known terrorist cell of Canadian geese took credit for the near tragedy and President George W. Bush, despite his lame goose status, waved his bloody sword at Canada - and even the United Kingdom.


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