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The Monolog-o-tron

01/17/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Sure, TV comedy writers should be paid what they deserve, for all the ways their work is used on the Internet and in other new media. In a perfect world, robotic online replacements like this for cranking out late-night TV talk show monologues might not be necessary. But as long as the writers are on strike, the Monolog-o-tron will have to suffice. Just use the handy pull-down menus to build your own late-night monologue:

1) Dennis Kucinich is at it again. Yesterday he claimed he saw hovering over

2) It was a grim day of violence and civilian casualties in Or as they call it in ,

3) Scientists say they have discovered a way to eradicate Unfortunately, the solution might never catch on because it would require Americans to give up their

4) With imported oil nearing $100 a barrel, California Governor Schwarzenegger has suggested that the state's residents switch to heating their homes with a resource more plentiful in California,

5) Apparently several key passages have been censored from According to insiders who saw the complete version,