Buckle up and get ready! Here we go again with another round of celebrity scandals. It seems like week after week, another high-profile couple splits, and another celebrity gets outed for cheating. Gavin Rossdale and David Arquette are in the hot seat, so Ashton Kutcher, Mel Gibson, and John Travolta can all breathe a sigh of relief having the heat off their alleged escapades -- for the moment. This week's Celebrity Troll Award has to go to Brett Favre. A married father of two, Minnesota Viking's quarterback got exposed for sexting and texting lewd photographs and salacious messages to a sports reporter. Kudos to Jenn Sterger for having the decency not to take Brett Farve's dangled bait. Why is so difficult for men to understand the connection between actions and consequences?
I spend a lot of my time coaching women, but this time, I am offering up my best advice to men to help them understand the societal paradigm shift that has transformed the consequences of cheating. The change is obvious to women, but for some reason, having that Y chromosome makes it more difficult for you fellas to comprehend. So let me explain point by point just how the world has changed, and why you can now be sure that if you are a celebrity, professional athlete, politician or a hotshot in any arena, and you cheat on your wife, you will get caught. Say it out loud: If I cheat on my wife, I will get caught, and sex with a Weed will not be worth it.
Once upon a time, cheating was a big taboo. So big, in fact, that a lusty couple would go to great lengths to hide their sordid rendezvous, knowing the risk of exposure could be life-ruining. They knew that if caught, terrible consequences would follow, not only from the betrayed spouse, but also from the community. The last thing a respectable woman ever wanted was to be marked with a scarlet letter "A" and labeled a home-wrecker, or worse, scorned, shunned, and basically run out of town by her God-fearing community. But this code of secrecy has now changed for both men and women, thanks to your good buddy, Mr. Tiger Woods.
As we all know, Tiger Woods was extremely sloppy in his philandering and got caught with his zipper down. When the extent of his multiplicity came out, Tiger's dirty dozen line-up of e-mail waiving Weeds united against him. They stood up, smiled for the cameras, held press conferences, and one by one sold their stories, photos and e-mails to the highest bidder. Soon every Weed in America experienced her own "ah-ha" moment: If they already sold their souls to be with a married celebrity, they may as well sell their stories, too. And thus, a new business was born.
Weeds now understand that if they can sucker a married celebrity, then 15 minutes of fame and a tabloid payday are just around the corner. Weeds love this new opportunity. For Weeds, it's far easier to nail a married celebrity than to get a decent single man to step up with a ring.
Celebrities, you are now living in the fishbowl of a kiss-tell-and-sell society, and you need to learn that there are no secrets in a TMZ world. You can heed my warning or you can learn the hard way -- confidentiality and discretion are quaint artifacts of a bygone era. The Weeds of today have no shame, and if you are not stepping up with a divorce and a ring, then frequent-flying Weeds would much rather sell their stories to the highest bidder than end up getting nothing but the short end of the stick from you. Ouch.
If you proceed with your little afternoon delight and you get caught, your wife may chose to divorce you, or she may stay for the sake of your children. One thing is for sure: she will make your life miserable, and that pain will last far longer than the pleasure of your texting tryst. And while private humiliation is one thing, it doesn't stop with just your wife.
When you're a big shot and you get caught, your peers think you are stupid. The men around you will shift from being your good buddies to questioning your selective morality, wondering if your poor judgment and lack of impulse control will cross over into other areas too, such as the business they are doing with you day to day.
If you are reading this and feeling relieved because you are cheating but neither rich nor famous, you're still not off the hook. You are going to get caught, too. What you fellas don't seem to understand is that married men are targets for Weeds. Remember, Weeds want you to get caught. Weeds hope your wife kicks you to the curb.
You may not even realize the trail your cheating leaves behind, but your Weed sure does. Your texting, sexting, phone calls and e-mails are not private; they are all being stored and shared with someone. And don't forget about those pesky little camera phones with instantaneous access to everyone's favorite brag sheet, Facebook. It's amazing how much trouble a little Facebook tag can cause. Remember, women like to talk. Shame is now a thing of the past. And where there is no shame, there are no secrets. You will be caught and it will not be worth the price you pay.
The moral apocalypse of America has finally served cheaters with a big reality check. Times have changed, and now you need to remember that what happens in Vegas no longer stays in Vegas; it's simply sold to the highest bidder, or posted on Facebook. If you really love your wife and children, then show them, and don't hurt them. Man up! Get rid of the Weeds before you get caught. You'll be happy you did.
Now start chanting, fellas: If I cheat on my wife, I will get caught. If I cheat on my wife, I will get caught, and sex with a Weed will not be worth it.
Ladies and gentlemen, take this blog and forward it to every cheating man you know. Let this serve as their warning to change their wandering ways. Because if cheaters don't stop leading double lives, they can be certain that sometime in the near future, they'll be hit with not only a world of trouble, but a resounding "I told you so" from you.