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Donna Flagg

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Dyslexia Is the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me

Posted: 08/25/2011 10:41 am

My mother would disagree. She still agonizes over how I went through living hell in school as a result of being dyslexic and undiagnosed. It pains her to think that there was something my father and she could have done to spare me the grief, humiliation and shame of not functioning, and therefore performing, in line with the rest of my peers. She blames herself regardless of how many times I try to tell her that it all went exactly the way it was supposed to go, that is, if you use my life as it exists today as the means to measure. I'm healthy and happy and highly engaged in my life, all things I consider more valuable than regrets over what had been. Plus in some weird, ironic way, my success today is directly tied to my ostensible failures of the past, not because of the scars, but because of what I had to learn in order to survive a system that did not recognize me as a legitimate member.

I didn't always feel as though my years struggling in school were the gift that I do now, however. After I was diagnosed in college, I was angry and full of resentment toward the people who were unable to see the truth of what I was, and a system so small-minded that it couldn't function without labels. But it wasn't just the labels that angered me; it was the derogatory, demeaning, minimizing, soul-sucking nature attached to them and how they were used against well-meaning and talented kids without even the slightest awareness or concern of how it would affect the child's view of him or herself. Today I've come to see it as selfish to teach in such a way that suits the teacher more than it does the student. For a while, every time I thought about the level of ignorance, myopia and critical judgment rampant in my school, I felt my heart skip into my throat carrying with it an intense desire to tell every last one of them that it was they who were stupid. Eventually bygones became bygones and it was clear to me that once I got out from under the misguided goals of education, I was free. Second chances, as it were, I was away from the grinding toll of being reminded daily of all the things I couldn't do.

My first job was working for Chanel, my last was at Goldman Sachs, and in between there was a string of other companies whereby I was surrounded by business people who weren't looking for what was wrong, but saw what was right, and beyond that, wanted to use it constructively toward a common goal. As you might imagine, I found this very refreshing. Work ended up being the antithesis of primary school, which is to say positive, enriching and highly instructive. Between that and a successful run in college and graduate school twice, the glaring flaws in education became even more blinding. With no appreciation for cognitive diversity whatsoever, the system churns out more of the same old thing falling to realize that when children become adults, they will need to compete in an environment where innovation, creativity and point of difference are together the single most coveted competencies in organizations. Schools, as we know them, don't get that.

Additionally, it does nothing to prepare kids for the real world of work where emotional and psychological skills come into play as much as, if not more than, the tactical and technical. For me, it so happens that what made the situation unbearable from K through 12, is also what forced two things to happen which could not have been foreseen at the time. One, I developed the kind of survival skills that can't be taught from a textbook. And two, my brain was unable to adapt to the status quo. As a result, it's as if all the best parts were preserved, which turn out to be the most valuable assets I've brought to bear on my professional life. Not to mention that in the process, I learned to fight the system, communicate very well verbally as I dodged bullet after bullet, and most importantly, discovered that there was no point in listening to people who thought they knew about me and believed they had the authority to define who I was under the guise of their authority and/or title. They didn't.

So, here I am. I write, I teach, I dance and I have created two businesses that I run, all from the failure that everyone believed I would ultimately become.

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My mother would disagree. She still agonizes over how I went through living hell in school as a result of being dyslexic and undiagnosed. It pains her to think that there was something my father and s...
My mother would disagree. She still agonizes over how I went through living hell in school as a result of being dyslexic and undiagnosed. It pains her to think that there was something my father and s...
 
 
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11:35 AM on 10/18/2011
I will be sharing this article with my seventeen year old dyslexic daughter, who is frustrated with standardized testing (last test is tomorrow). I will say this, dyslexia runs in families; my mother's side, I was blessed with it as well and we hold NO SHAME. It is incredibly important to know you are not alone, especially when there is a genetic component in play. Our daughter is very successful in school but she has known since pre-K that she learns like Mom; the day I talked to her about it is the day we started to teach her to advocate for herself. I continue to search for articles like this one to share with her that our community is strong, compassionate, and brilliant. Thank you for writing this article it will be saved and shared with others.
08:37 PM on 10/01/2011
Thank you, Donna for sharing your experience. It's shocking that many school systems do not acknowlegde "Dyslexia" "Dysgraphia" or "Dyscalulia." "Specific Learning Disability in the area of writing, readin or math" is what is acceptable, with all of the research on how to help kids with dyslexia to achieve being ignored. Many educators and administrators do not even know, or believe, that students can be "Twice Exceptional," that is, both gifted and having a learning disability.
This keeps talented kids out of challanging classes, and struggling kids from getting the help they deserve as they disappear into the middle. If only we could focus less on labels. It would be great if "accomodations" could just be called "choices." I believe that Art, drama, music, humor and other ways to learn that involve emotion could be life-changing choices for kids. Again, thank you for your inspiring perspective.
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spinner49
07:50 AM on 09/13/2011
My daughter is multiple LD including dyslexic. She is so alienated from her peers and teachers it is frightening.
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Robert Gudzikowski
free,natural,harmless,individual
10:15 PM on 08/29/2011
I also was born dyslexic and never told no one I feel your pain. I still like to watch tv in the mirror once in awile.
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Donna Flagg
08:49 AM on 08/30/2011
Robert - thanks for starting my day out with a laugh!
01:00 PM on 08/26/2011
Yesterday I read "Dyslexics are over-represented in board rooms and prison cells", and yet our archaic education system remains. Today, like yours my life has changed with the "Gift" of Dyslexia. The mountainous boarders of books which blocked my self-esteem has been all but flattened. Bookshare free for all United States students with qualifying disabilities (dyslexia being one of them) has changed who I perceived myself to be and who I am today (Jesus is the biggest part of this change). Now when a book is mentioned at a conference, the waves of failure which use to wash over me are now a wave of anticipation of reading the book. Text to speech software, like Readplease, Balabolka and Read:Outloud combined with Bookshare digital books have made reading a decision not a chore or dreaded thought of me thinking I'm a failure.

Today, in this awesome digital and software landscape for a dyslectic I am free to read. Thank you for your inside look into your road of freedom. The journey I have experienced has been similar and can be read at manateediagnostic.com/davisgraham.aspx
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Donna Flagg
03:52 PM on 08/26/2011
So wonderful. Thank you! There is so much proof in our stories that it is unfathomable to me that the light bulb has not gone off in the administrators', legislators', teachers' and principals' minds.
11:37 PM on 08/26/2011
Amen. Last week Manatee County 20 special ed. teachers were trained on Bookshare. The approach has to be one starfish at a time, while at the sametime we are being pushed into the drive seat of a dawning digital textbook age. Imagine that being brought to the american education system by the "gifted" who were once considered disabled. The new digital world is approaching the horizon of education in America. It's amazing we may be the future Secretaries of Education.
12:00 PM on 09/01/2011
I would say the light bulb HAS gone off in the heads of many educators. As a former teacher and current advocate for equity in schools, I would say that it is the education system as a whole that often prevents passionate, creative, and innovative educators from being able to cultivate those characteristics in kids. (Not ALL educators qualify for the above description, but many of us do.) The current climate of standardized testing diminishes the perceived value of creativity...kids (and teachers) are being rewarded for shading in bubbles. This is why many teachers leave the profession within five years of entering.
08:35 PM on 08/25/2011
You know, statistically, dyslexics are far more likely to be millionaire entrepreneurs than the rest of the population. As a learning specialist for over 3 decades, I'm not surprised! Kudos to you for prevailing! Can you tell me what technology you use to help you compensate?

http://www.conquercollegewithld.com
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Donna Flagg
08:55 AM on 08/26/2011
None. I hire people to cover the areas in which I do not exceed. But again, that's how it goes in companies anyway. There are marketing people, finance people, sales people, etc.... That's why is it so astonishing to me now (in light of what I went through) to see that the work world is set up for people with differences of all kinds, not just dyslexia and/or learning disabilities. Not everyone should be a bean counter at the same time that not everyone should be in creative. If all people were forced into one function in a business (like they are in schools) people would fail and so too would the business, which is exactly the way schools operate. They are not a model of success, nor do the people who do well in that model necessarily do well in life, while as you point out, many of the "failures" go on to create great things. Something is wrong, very, very wrong.
03:56 PM on 09/02/2011
"If all people were forced into one function in a business (like they are in schools) people would fail and so too would the business, which is exactly the way schools operate."

So true!! As a retired special education teacher, it frustrated me no end that the system really wasn't set up to address the "I" in IEP---INDIVIDUAL Education Plan. For many years, I was able to work around the system, and do my best to encourage talents and to address academics. In the last several years, however, test mania has ruled the roost and program after program took over all decision-making. I got tired of trying to fit stars into square holes, so I retired. Now I tutor and do my best to help those starts shine.
06:59 PM on 08/25/2011
Bravo for you, Donna! We especially loved this: "Work ended up being the antithesis of primary school, which is to say positive, enriching and highly instructive. Between that and a successful run in college and graduate school twice, the glaring flaws in education became even more blinding. With no appreciation for cognitive diversity whatsoever, the system churns out more of the same old thing falling to realize that when children become adults, they will need to compete in an environment where innovation, creativity and point of difference are together the single most coveted competencies in organizations."

How narrow the paths in school and how broad the opportunities in the real world. There needs to be a paradigm shift in educate for dyslexia. We're going to link to your post in http://facebook.com/dyslexicadvantage .
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Donna Flagg
08:05 PM on 08/25/2011
Actually, I think we need a paradigm shift, period - for all, not just dyslexics. Thanks so much!
03:57 PM on 09/02/2011
I would love to see a paradigm shift in ALL of education! :-0
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Djay0252
America needs to Bless God
04:09 PM on 08/25/2011
In today's politically correct society that is called bullying.
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Donna Flagg
08:02 PM on 08/25/2011
Or ignorance. Or worse, a combination of the two.