THE BLOG
10/18/2013 02:17 pm ET Updated Dec 18, 2013

4 Reasons We Get Frustrated and How to Cope

All frustration stems from a lack of understanding. It may be in regard to a particular situation or a person's behavior or choices. We feel worried, in a hurry, and out of control concerning whatever it is that is not "going well." However, all that our emotions do at this point is send out to the universe an agitated energy that only serves to block the resolution we desire. Therefore, let's examine four questions we ask ourselves at those seemingly unbearable moments of frustration, in order to cope with them and gain some level of clarity:

1) Why Is This Happening?

Whether you are late getting to an appointment, your son fails his driving test, or your flight gets delayed or canceled, you must recognize that there is something unforeseen going on here. Perhaps you and your teenager were meant to avoid dangerous situations while driving at a certain moment, or that the person you were meant to meet while sitting and waiting for the next flight turns out to be your soulmate. Never rush and never be disappointed that a situation isn't going smoothly. It is undoubtedly a blessing in disguise. There are no random acts -- there is always meaning even if you do not see it -- so try not to waste your energy taking issue with whatever happens. Just go with the flow.

2) How Could You Do That?

When something is not being done the way we want it done, or someone is not doing what we want them to do, we have a real challenge dealing with it. The frustration builds up inside of us like a pot of water about to boil over. The circumstances make absolutely no sense to us. We analyze how this could possibly be, then rack our brains trying to figure out how to fix it. What we have to stop and realize is that there are creative solutions and opportunities and people that get brought in to "save the day." You may never see it coming! When one person drops the ball, or screws up (however you want to put it), it's because you are being shown that the situation isn't meant to continue going in that particular direction. You are meant to have a much better experience than the current reality is presenting to you. This is why chaos has to ensue once in a while -- to break ties with the old and bring in the new. So, when something looks like a disaster, know that it's because something really fantastic is coming on the heels of it!

3) What Is the Answer?

I'm sure you've anxiously awaited an important phone call, all the while saying to yourself, "Why haven't they called yet? What is taking so long? When are they going to call?" This is a perfect example of giving something too much energy. Obsessing about a situation with needless chatter delays its progress. If you quit thinking about it, the answer will come -- the phone will ring or something else will happen that takes care of it. Understand that at frustrating moments such as these, you are being taught patience and the art of allowing and letting go. It isn't easy to surrender to the possibility of unknown outcomes, but you will receive your answer one way or another. Taking your mind off of things and waiting a bit isn't the end of the world. If you do, you'll be amazed how quickly and perfectly everything falls into place -- even better than you could have imagined.

4) Where Is This Going?

Life is a process. Trust it. The day-to-day, hour-to-hour happenings taking place in your life may appear completely unrelated on the surface, but in truth, there is an orchestrated, interlocking chain of events occurring. The human in us always wants to know what is going on and why, but we don't always need to know! Even in times of major upheaval and turmoil, understand that it is part of a necessary process, and after the dust settles, the gift will reveal itself.

Frustration sets in when we decide it's imperative for us to know that which we fail to comprehend. We suffer through feelings of anxiety and aggravation because we have not yet mastered patience, acceptance and trust... not a small feat to accomplish. However, when we grasp the fact that we can never know everything, that so many things are not meant for our understanding at the exact moment of their occurrence, we can finally live in a place of inner peace, without any doubt of the perfection of our experiences.

For more by Donna Labermeier, click here.

For more on emotional wellness, click here.

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