10/18/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Socialism: Brought to You by the Republican Party

Why won't anyone (anyone!) among our nation's leaders call this government bailout business what it is -- corporate socialism?

I could never imagine that the ultimate free marketeers have begged and pleaded for the big, bad, slow, inefficient, socialist government to take over major pillars of the free market economy that they hold as high as Mom, God, and heterosexual marriages.

"Too big to fail," they say.

But no one is ever small enough to get shoved out at the curbside of high gas prices, declining wages, crappy health insurance, and a sad education system.

Socialism indeed.

Let's take all the risk in life away from the big guys and force the American family to pay for their multi-trillion dollar mistakes (not to mention their mullti-million dollar golden parachutes). Then let's say that the government is the only way to save the free market.

Ridiculous forays into sub-prime mortgages, tax cuts that the wealthiest don't need, privatization of public education and Social Security -- and, of course, a war that has made gazillions of dollars for the war drum and oil drum moguls.

These are perfect (perfect!) uses of the government as socialist father to the capitalist oligopolists.

Then they hide it all behind a conservative ideology and theology that says that getting rich for rich's sake is not only patriotic but godly. You deserve (deserve!) to be as rich as I am.

Too big to fail!? These guys are too big to succeed.