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Dori Hartley

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Atheism: Taking Off the Training Wheels

Posted: 08/09/2012 5:51 pm

When I first started writing about atheism, I must admit I was coming from a very tolerant, peaceful place. I liked coming from that place, and it was my intention to represent atheism's softer side with a "live and let live, peace and brown rice" type of attitude.

By the time one of my early articles, "The Soulful Atheist," got the attention of Deepak Chopra, who liked it very much and wrote to me about it, I was accused of being a "woo-woo," which is a derogatory and dismissive term used to refer to people who have new-age or mystical beliefs. My feeling was that it didn't matter what anyone thought of me or if I had mystical beliefs or not; the bottom line was that I didn't believe in God or any kind of deity, and that is what made me an atheist by definition. In fact, hearing that Deepak was considered the King of Woo made me feel like I was in pretty good company. Did being an atheist have to cancel out my love for great thinkers like Deepak? Not in my world.

And while I'm still open to learning from the minds of those mystically inclined, I do have to say that my perception of mysticism has been altered somewhat by the knowledge I've gained on my own atheistic journey. Whereas I do recognize the need in people to believe in things that give them comfort, I can't help but register many of these things as delusional. It's not meant to be a putdown; it's just an observation on my part. I seek to understand, not to believe, and in trying to understand, I am faced with a degree of frustration, one that many other atheists have discovered way before me: Everyday life revolves around an unending deference to all things theistic.

"Bless you!" Why bless me? Will the devil get into my soul through the hole in my head if you don't seal it up with the words "bless you"? Are you channeling your god while you're blessing me? What is the blessing supposed to do? Stop me from sneezing again? Forget the devil part -- how did sneezes become the most common prompt for the words "bless you"? Are we so worried about the person who sneezes that we need to call for divine intervention?

"Oh, thank God!" Yes, everything is a God-given act of mercy. I love it when people say things like, "Thank God the earthquake only took my legs. At least I'm still here, thanks to the love of Jesus." Yup. God spared your life so that you can suffer for the rest of it. If you drop the God part, you'd see that an earthquake happened, you're alive, and now you have to deal with the effects. Nothing mystical. You weren't spared because you're good, and you weren't punished because you're bad. As tragic as our lives may be at times, it's really just narcissistic to think we're divinely chosen to fulfill such a noble yet fictional destiny. We're not special; we're just humans on a planet that is subject to natural events. Own that one and you'll bypass a whole lot of the repressed anger and resentment you'll feel one day when you start blaming God for all the crap he dumped on your head.

"My prayers go out to the families of those lost in the tragedy..." Right, because that does a lot, unless, of course, "prayers" are things that can reanimate the dead or force terrible events to undo themselves. Why can't people just say, "I really feel bad for the families, and I wish I could show my love for them with a hug of support."

"Believe." This is perhaps the woo-wooest word ever. This word ties together the worlds of fanatical religion and new-age mania with the idea that nothing needs proof, explanation, or research. The universe is beautiful enough without having to cover it in deceptive concepts and mystical beliefs. It's all right there, and it doesn't require an ounce of faith. Nothing sexier than gorgeous, stunning, quantum reality.

"It's a sign." What? Your magic rock was found facing east this morning? So that means your girlfriend will love you and your foe will come into unspeakable hardship? Oh, well, thank God for that!

"Smile, God loves you." This one's my favorite of all. Now there's a meme for you. Stick that puppy right over a photo of an emaciated African child. Tell me, theists, how do you counterpoint that cruel realization?

I just want to say that, for me, atheism is a thing that just gets better every day. When theists talk about seeing the light, they mean the blinding light of God, or Jesus, or whatever it is that gives them the idea that they've had a revelation. When an atheist sees the light, it comes like a brilliant, eye-opening beacon of truth: The man made God concept is what separates you from the light of reality. God is the wool over your eyes. Want me to woo-woo that up for you? God is Maya.

And even though I still remain a peace-and-brown-rice person, I see now why there's a valid reason to up the ante on my stance -- to remove the training wheels on my atheism, so to speak. Because atheists (like every other group in the world who has had to shove aside, back down, or suck up to the mass hypnosis that creates a privileged, entitled majority) are simply sick and tired of not being heard.

Why so angry, the world asks? Apply that question to women, black people, Gays, Jews, fat people, Muslims, the disabled, the poor, basically anyone who doesn't fit neatly into the big white box of boring, and you'll get the same answer: We're alive, we exist, we have value -- get out of our face already!

Sometimes you just have to make a noise.

 
 
 

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When I first started writing about atheism, I must admit I was coming from a very tolerant, peaceful place. I liked coming from that place, and it was my intention to represent atheism's softer side w...
When I first started writing about atheism, I must admit I was coming from a very tolerant, peaceful place. I liked coming from that place, and it was my intention to represent atheism's softer side w...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Giap Vu
12:06 PM on 08/23/2012
I consider "bless you" as an assault, a crime of terroristic threatening. Whenever someone assumes me with it, I ignore them with a tolerant middle fingered smile - without the actual digit, of course - as my pupils roll back and plead with my sensitive hypothalamus to not lose it. Great article, by the way
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Stevie Hallandale
Aware
06:52 AM on 08/21/2012
You are in my prayers, i have found to be a good way to express concern, and to offer "help" in an otherwise helpless situation. Being devoid of any spirituality can be just as unhealthy as being absorbed with it.
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shaktiqueen
Persephone Says.
06:28 PM on 09/15/2012
Wouldn't it be just as simple to say "you are in my thoughts"?
07:53 AM on 08/19/2012
What are some good alternatives for saying "bless you" when a person sneezes?

Recently, I've just said nothing and stared blankly in all other directions until the sneezer goes away. I tried saying salud or gesundheit in the past, but that almost always elicits bizarre looks.
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shaktiqueen
Persephone Says.
06:35 PM on 09/15/2012
While I've known the origins of saying "bless you"or "gesudnheidt" for years, I always say it as a form of good manners.
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raptoryx13
Author/illustrator/designer
12:00 AM on 08/18/2012
Well said, Dori!
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Americangangster
Dual masters in dominance and modesty
06:55 PM on 08/17/2012
Atheists are messed up people. They are all mean, and disturbing to be around.
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DianaLynn1967
It's a great life if you don't weaken!
03:52 PM on 09/06/2012
Not all.
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Margaret Whitestone
Progressive, lesbian, atheist, crazy cat lady.
07:16 PM on 08/12/2012
We keep hearing about the "new atheists" and how "militant" they are. Pshaw. The only thing that distinguishes the "new atheists" is we don't sit silently like their predecessors did.
07:48 AM on 08/19/2012
Well said.
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see-ellen2001
04:13 PM on 08/12/2012
I am not atheist. I am surprised how people can presume the person in front of them is 'a believer'. I suppose it would be tenfold in certain areas of the US (I'm in eastern Canada). However, if someone says they are praying for someone in a crisis situation, that is how they express concern. True, lots of sayings come from a Christian base in history and people need to rethink some presumptive things they say. Reminds me of someone asking a Hindu for their "Christian name". I'd say "goodbye" but that is not appropriate :)
12:02 AM on 08/11/2012
Nice article...
06:55 PM on 08/10/2012
Great article, but you let out this gem: "I think what God thinks," or its variations, "Don't take it up with me, take it up with God" or "It's not me saying it, it's the word/God." This probably gets under my skin more any of the other phrases you cited, because it so blatantly screams "I've given up thinking for myself/this subject (gay rights, abortion, take your pick) makes me uncomfortable so I'll just side step coming to my own conclusions," even though those who utter it are often intelligent individuals.

It's such a surrender of personal responsibility, while the latter term just seeks to put doubters/critical thinkers "in our place" when we question religious doctrine. I always think (or say depending on who I'm talking to) "But you're the one promoting this as the absolute truth, when there is no tangible evidence to support your claims. Not only that, you're telling me and everyone else that we have to believe in this to be a good person and be "saved" from some horrible fate. And when I ask you is this what you believe, you don't say 'well I'm just repeating whatever the bible/Holy Ghost tells me. I don't know if it's real.' You say yes, this is my faith/belief. So who should I have a problem with exactly, since God has yet to make a guest appearance?"

Okay, rant over:).
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Dori Hartley
07:52 PM on 08/10/2012
Oh, Kevin, I'm sure there are plenty of phrases that I've left out. "Give it to God..." Phew, that's a mind blower. Good rant!
12:04 PM on 08/11/2012
Thanks, I have my moments:).
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shaktiqueen
Persephone Says.
06:40 PM on 09/15/2012
Thank you for so beautifully expressing what I have thought for years. Religion is an abdication of personal responsibility for actions, beliefs etc. Why take responsibility when you can just blame the unseen for everything and get away with it?
05:32 PM on 08/10/2012
Excellent article! Thank you.
02:25 PM on 08/10/2012
A person believes whatever they want to believe. Most of the time, what they think their holy book or religion says, it doesn't actually say, or what it does say can be interpretted any number of different ways to suit their needs. However, if you ask that person what they think, then not only does the book say it, but it is very clear and unopen for interpretation.. even if it doesn't or isn't. In other words, the person is projecting their own ideals onto the book based on their own teaching, upbringing, simple experience, or sometimes even best guesses. Then, they use the book as a means of proving their ideals, when it's actually the other way around, but they don't realize they're doing it. How disconcerting is it then that a person, who believing a book is the word of God (even though it's their own word projected onto the book), now has something in writing that tells them that they can never change their opinion on an issue? Talk about psychological re-inforcement!

Sadly, most of a religite's ideals/morals were taught to them by their parents or church organization that they chose (or maybe not so much) to be a part of, rather than from the true teacher; existence, experience, and rational discourse.
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10:41 AM on 08/11/2012
Presume I`m on Huffingtonpost........like so many although you give the impression of an Atheist.......you constantly contradicting this, by questioning what you choose to believe. Make up your mind, and deal with living/being an Atheist.....I`m sure no one is holding a `Gun to your head`.Maybe you are not ready, we are usually confident of decision made, and leave whatever previous thoughts behind!
02:22 PM on 08/10/2012
Religion doesn't seem to build a person's strength of mind. It projects the responsibility of life onto an outside force that you have no control over.. most would call that nature. If you read the Bible about Heaven and Hell, you'll notice something funny; Heaven and Hell can easily be applied to life rather than the afterlife. If you accept Jesus, meaning you do your best to act like Jesus (perfectly content specimen), then your life will be Heavenly. If not, then your life will feel like burning in a lake of fire... a way to explain extreme unavoidable pain. The religious act as if no one at the time spoke / wrote figuratively.

For some reason, the religious prefer to believe that life is just a meaningless part of it, and the end goal only comes in the afterlife. Maybe because life can be hard, and they want some sort of repayment in the end for being a good person. Yet, they fail to see that being a good person, staying optimistic, helping others.. that in itself should have given them a just reward. A psycho murderer... they want that person to burn for all eternity.. but chances are that person is dead or in prison and I can assure you, they're not currently living it up as happy as can be! If they are, then it's because their brain is clinically insane and they probably don't realize they did anything wrong to begin with.
02:09 PM on 08/10/2012
It's all psychological really.

It isn't *always* what religites say... but rather their feelings of entitlement and superiority to others. They are the "chosen" ones. For instance, it ALWAYS confuses a religious person that an atheist refuses salvation and chooses to go to hell.. Religites are so predisposed with the idea of heaven and hell as the ultimate truth that they can't comprehend an atheist disbelieving in an afterlife and hence not requiring the idea of salvation. An atheist thinking life ends at death is pre-occupied only with living life for the sake of living. That doesn't stop the religite from pitying the atheist... the ultimate insult to our intelligence. The sad part is that a person with a religious mindset will have a tough time ever considering a non-deity run world. That very idea is so ingrained into their thought path that the only way to remove it is to have avoided it to begin with.

One good thing about religion is that it's a taught (brainwashed) means of staying optimistic. No matter how hard your life is, you can still say, "This is meant to be because God willed it and loves me". Good, but unnecessary. It's the equivalent to stating that, "This is how the universe works... it must go on. Actions must lead to reactions, things must happen. God or not. Some are good, some are bad".
12:06 PM on 08/10/2012
I think yours is a journey many atheists experience. I have seen a number of people close to me go through a number of steps while shedding or changing religions or growing out of their belief in the supernatural. It's fascinating to me because I was never trained to believe in God or the supernatural.
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Dori Hartley
02:34 PM on 08/10/2012
I, too, was raised without religion. I've been non religious my entire life, though I did study many paths of worship.