THE BLOG
04/20/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

12 New Southwest Airlines Rules

First, they kicked Courtney Love off a plane, and I did not complain because I was not a smoker.

Then they kicked Ivana Trump off a plane, and I did not complain because I'm not a crazy rich bitch.

Then they kicked Kevin Smith off a plane, and I did not complain because I was not fat.

Okay, fine, but I'm on a diet. Still, I bet those Southwest dudes will find a Dozen other ways to humiliate their customers.

I mean, what's to stop them from banning George Clooney for being a jetsetting Lothario with no real human connections?

Oh, wait, that's just a character he played.


OR IS IT???

P.S. - ATTN: LOVERS OF COMEDY AND COMEDY WRITERS

Comedy writer "Big Joe" Kenny has the misfortune of having cancer...and inadequate insurance to cover the costs of his treatment. But he has the good fortune of having hugely talented friends who are rallying to raise money.

A series of benefits at the Comedy and Magic Club in Hermosa Beach will star on various evenings: Sarah Silverman, Garry Shandling, Roseanne Barr, Dana Carvey, Kevin Nealon, David Spade and Howie Mandel. For more information, please go to:

http://friendsofbigjoe.com/