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Doug's Dozen: 12 Routes From Westwood to the Valley for Carmageddon

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All of us Angelenos know the 405 Freeway between Westwood and the San Fernando Valley will be shut down for construction this weekend.

But there is still hope of getting there from here!



DOUG'S DOZEN: 12 ROUTES FROM WESTWOOD TO THE VALLEY FOR CARMAGEDDON

1. 10 Freeway east to 110 north, get off at Union Station, take Metro Rail to Ventura, 101 south to Valley (Time: 3 to 16 hours, depending on train delays)

2. Sepulveda south to LAX, fly to Burbank Airport, 5 Fwy south, Ventura Fwy west to Valley (Time: Faster than driving, believe me.)

3. 405 south to 90 west, park at Marina. Rent sailboat, sail northwest to Oxnard Harbor, take bus to Valley. (Time: Depends on wind and currents, but what the hell, you're sailing!)

4. 405 south to Gardena, lease Goodyear Blimp, head north. Remember to bring really long rope ladder.

5. Put on maternity clothing and padded stomach. Hail motorcycle cop, tell him your water broke and you have to get to your HMO in the Valley, hold on tight as he goes lane-splitting up Sepulveda. Once you reach Valley, hop off in heavy traffic and run like hell.

6. For Santa Ana wind days only: Interstate 10 east to Temecula, sign up for wine country hot air balloon, get pilot good and sloshed, drift west to Valley, force down balloon on Ventura Blvd (remember to bring bow and arrow.)

7. Take Bundy Dr. south to Santa Monica airport, sign up for skydiving lesson but insist your first jump must be directly over Sherman Oaks Galleria.

8. Take Pico Blvd. east to 20th Century-Fox studios, ask for Prop Dept, rent medieval catapult and suit covered in springs, drive Beverly Glen north till you hit the jam, use catapult to get across Mulholland Dr., limp rest of way downhill into Valley.

9. 405 south to Camp Pendleton. Steal tank, drive north on 405 to Valley - let 'em try and stop you.

10. Contact mad scientist with teleportation device. Important: Kill and remove all insects from booth before teleporting.

11. Interstate 10 east to Cape Canaveral, force launch of Space Shuttle, land at Vandenberg AFB, take 101 south to Valley.

12. Invent time machine, go back to 1966, drive 405 north to Valley. Invest in real estate, wait 45 years.

See more Doug's Dozen lists at www.dougsdozen.com

And Doug's Dozen videos on FunnyOrDie