Arnold Schwarzenegger has admitted fathering a child out of wedlock with a member of his household staff ten years ago, while married to Maria Shriver... just before he ran to unseat Gov. Gray Davis.
Certainly, this must have been a traumatic experience... finding out he's going to be a father, arranging for the birth, keeping the birth-mother working in his household for the next ten years-plus, not telling his wife, telling his wife, telling us...
Then again, this is a guy who ought to be used to trauma. He's slain just about the entire population of California in his movies - and came close in real life. But no matter how dire or horrifying the situation, Ahnold is never at a loss for a quip. In fact, he's got a memorable catchphrase or two in just about every film.
And as it turns out, he's no different in real life. So here's...
DOUG'S DOZEN: 12 SCHWARZENEGGER CATCHPRASES ABOUT HIS LOVE-CHILD
1. "ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT A TUMOR?"
2. "YOU HAVE BEEN SPERMINATED."
3. "LOOKS LIKE I PUMPED...YOU UP!"
4. "HASTA LA VISTA, BABY-MAMA"
5. "YOUR LUGGAGE...FOR YOUR TRIP TO THAT HOSPITAL IN MEXICO."
6. "IS IT A BOY...OR A GIRLIE MAN?"
7. "I HAVE JUST BEEN ERASED...FROM THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE."
8. "I'LL BE BACK...IN TEN YEARS."
9. "I KNOW WHY YOU CRY, BUT IT IS SOMETHING I CAN NEVER DO, CONVINCINGLY."
10. "COME WORK WITH ME, IF YOU WANT TO LIVE....A LIE."
11. "THERE WON'T BE A STORY. IF IT LEAKS, WE CAN KILL IT."
12. "REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I WOULD KILL THE STORY? I LIED."
See more lists at www.dougsdozen.com