THE BLOG
09/10/2013 12:22 pm ET Updated Nov 10, 2013

Doug's Dozen: George Zimmerman's 12 Excuses for That Domestic Incident

NEWS ITEM: George Zimmerman is temporarily detained after his estranged wife calls 911, saying George threatened her and her father with a gun, punched the father in the nose, and smashed her iPad.

But he has an explanation. In fact, here are...

DOUG'S DOZEN: GEORGE ZIMMERMAN'S 12 EXCUSES FOR THAT DOMESTIC INCIDENT

1. "It was the only way to demonstrate the superior strength of a Windows tablet."

2. "She came at me with a bag of Skittles."

3. "I thought my right to swing my fist ends an inch past where the other guy's nose begins."

4. "We've had a lot of elderly burglars around here."

5. "C'mon, have I ever acted violent before - and been convicted?"

6. "The old man threatened me with a sidewalk."

7. "Call the Sanford Police, they'll explain why arresting me is out of the question."

8. "Punks like my wife always get away."

9. "Ask my brother about the old fart I've been mentoring."

10. "What do you mean, I can't stand my ground in their house?"

11. "I feared for my bodyguard's life."

12. "Don't trust what my wife says, she's always had terrible judgment."

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See more Doug's Dozen lists and Doug's comic novel at www.dougsdozen.com.

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