Doug's Dozen: Koch Bros' Top 12 Slogans Against Health Insurance

News item:

David Koch-founded FreedomWorks and its GOP allies are mobilizing a counter-offensive including town hall meetings, protests and media promotions... all to dissuade uninsured Americans from obtaining health coverage through Obamacare.

Now, my dad was an insurance man. I grew up in a Republican household where the idea of being well-insured was sacrosanct. We would no more leave a house, a car, or a person uninsured than we would vote for one of those irresponsible, money-frittering Democrats.

So I'm guessing it'll take a lot of convincing to turn young Republicans (and other trusting types) against the idea of paying in money for the inevitable day when they'll need it.

See, this time, they have to convince young people to work against their own interests. Will the FreedomWorks crew be able to find young quadriplegics willing to wave "Hands off my right to die in a gutter" signs?

Well, I'm sure the Koch boys are up to the task.

In fact, I've seen some focus group tests. So here are...

DOUG'S DOZEN: KOCH BROS' TOP 12 SLOGANS AGAINST HEALTH INSURANCE

1. "What do you mean, you're afraid of cancer? What are you, a pussy?"

2. "Trust us, this will work even better than those tax cuts that led to the crash."

3. "If you buy health insurance, you won't be able to afford lotto tickets!"

4. "You want to turn this country into France, where they outlive us by three years?"

5. "Kid, you don't want to get old... not after we gut Social Security."

6. "I bet you're one of those wimps who has fire insurance, too."

7. "It's all a scam to help Obama's black pal who does those Allstate ads."

8. "The Constitution says you can't be forced to buy a product (except body armor when we send your Guard unit to Iraq)."

9. "If Jesus wants you healthy, He'll cure you Himself."

10. "Waste of money. Earth will be obliterated soon, cause we're also cutting funds for the Asteroid Watch."

11."Are you going to trust a Kenyan Muslim Marxist Nazi insurance salesman?"

12. "Why, this will destroy Medicare... if we're lucky."

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See more Doug's Dozen lists and Doug's comic novel at www.dougsdozen.com.