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Doug's Dozen: Time to Wash Our Hands of Palin

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OMG! First you try to fake your way through the oral exam you didn't study for (that mean old Ms. Couric would not grade you on the curve!) But now you're writing crib sheets on your palm? Girl, if I were as funny on purpose as you are unintentionally, I'd be hosting the Tonight Show. Or maybe just leaving it.

2/8/10: Edited to add: This Doug's Dozen was featured in a CNN story about Sarah Palin's hand/cheat sheet.
http://www.cnn.com/video/?/video/offbeat/2010/02/08/moos.palin.gate.cnn
I appear at :56 and 2:08.

Anytime I can be on the news, without being in handcuffs, I'm happy.

Sarah, no wonder you won't wash your hands of the Tea Party movement. You can't wash your hands, period. One squirt of soap and all your talking points go down the drain physically, as well as metaphorically.

And the worst part is, your borrowed answers are all drill-baby-drill and waterboard-'em-at-the-airport. Babe, if you're going to cheat on a test, don't steal the answers of the class clown who flunked eight years in a row.

If you became president, do you think at the G-8 summit you can copy off the speech by that smart Chinese president?

Are you planning to buy your economic program from a term-paper mill?

I finally realized who you are, Sarah: You're the not-too-bright prom queen that we all remember... the one who wears a lowcut blouse to make sure everyone to pays attention to her ideas.

Not that I have anything against prom queens, or beauty contestants. I love that you want to bring about world peace.

I just don't want you trying to do it with nuclear missiles.