05/17/2011 10:46 am ET | Updated Jul 17, 2011

12 Reasons Michele Bachmann Won't Debate a 10th Grader (VIDEO)

Leave Michele Bachmann alone!!!

(Thank you, Internet Crying Guy... I'll take it from here.)

Okay, so Bachmann got a few things wrong. So the Founders didn't abolish slavery until half a century after they died. But don't you think those ghosts of Jefferson and Franklin and Adams scared those Johnny Rebs, making swords float around and spooking the horses?

And yes, the shot heard 'round the world was not actually loud enough to be heard in Concord, New Hampshire, because it happened down in Massachusetts.

And sure, it took Bachmann awhile to give up on the idea that time-traveling Muslims planted Obama's birth notice in the Honolulu newspapers.

Stop getting hung up on facts, man!

You're worse than this smart-alecky tenth grader in New Jersey who wants to debate Rep. Bachmann on the U.S. Constitution.

Unfair! Gov. Chris Christie has barely had any time to dismantle the admittedly tough NJ public schools system. Why can't we find a kid from some state that's been run by Republicans for a while? How about Texas... don't they have the worst schools? In fact, don't crappy schools all over the country order Texas schoolbooks, in order to bark their shins on the same low bar?

Personally, I think the kid in New Jersey was put up to it. Probably bribed by Kristen Wiig, so she can get a dozen SNL sketches out of it.

But it ain't gonna happen.


I'll give you a Dozen reasons why not.

See more lists at

And Doug's Dozen videos on FunnyOrDie

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