In seven years as a professional application-essay coach, I've come across countless parents who, while genuinely wanting the best for their sons and daughters, hit one pitfall after another around the all-important college-application essays. And parental missteps this time of year can mean the difference between acceptance and rejection by their children's dream schools on Decision Day. To move smoothly through this tricky territory, become familiar with the 5 biggest traps for parents to sidestep during college-essay season:
- Counsel your daughter on her application essays. You want to help. SO much! It's completely understandable, especially with stakes this high. You may have an incredibly close relationship with your daughter. You may even work in a profession -- say, psychology or journalism -- that enables you to offer great advice on how to tackle this task. And yet, even under those circumstances, you're just about the last person who should help her with the personal statement and supplementary essays. You're simply too close and too heavily invested to be an effective sounding board or guide. Plus, you may not be aware of it at first, but your involvement in this particularly delicate area risks a subtle yet sizable buildup of pressure and resentment. Pitfall prevention: Take a step back, and you'll not only give your daughter a tremendous sense of empowerment but also avoid potential strain in your relationship with her.
of course matter enormously, but keep sight of how invaluable the essay-writing process itself is for your daughter. This exercise in self-exploration will make her more mature and far better equipped to maximize her opportunities in college.
You're not alone in feeling like you're walking through a treacherous jungle this time of year. When it comes to the college-application essays, many parents believe they're stepping forward onto firm ground, only to discover that they've landed themselves -- and their son or daughter -- in quicksand. But with the above roadmap and a clearer sense of boundaries, you can successfully navigate your way around this season's hazards.
[To read the companion piece, which addresses high-school seniors, click here.]