The American Mustache Institute is finalizing preparations to lead the Million Mustache March on Sunday, April 1, from the U.S. Capitol to the White House, as it seeks adoption of the Stimulus To Allow Critical Hair Expenses or "STACHE Act."
Indeed, this could perhaps be the greatest act of civil libertarian activism since the days of Clarence Darrow.
Authored by Dr. John Yeutter of Northeastern State University and endorsed by H&R Block, the STACHE Act would provide a $250 annual tax deduction for expenditures on mustache grooming supplies in the determination of Adjusted Gross Income.
Dr. Yeutter's research suggests the largely facial-hair-barren U.S. Congress -- 34 people with facial hair in the U.S. House of Representatives, only John Hoeven in the U.S. Senate, and 26 states without Mustached American representation -- has previously provided tax incentives for specific societal segments whose efforts enhance economic growth. Fortunately, H&R Block believes in supporting these tenants.
The March will begin at 2 p.m. on April 1. AMI staff, Dr. Yeutter, representatives of H&R Block, and members of the Chicago-based music act The Flavor Savers will lead an expected 1 million Mustached Americans and interested third parties from the Northeast in front of the U.S. Capitol en route to the White House, with a post-march celebration at Capitol City Brewing Co. on 11th & H streets that will include an uber-sexy performance by The Flavor Savers.
Supporters who cannot attend the march are encouraged to visit StacheAct.com and 'stache a photo in support of the Act. For each supporter -- either marching or 'staching at StacheAct.com -- H&R Block will donate to Millions From One, which provides clean drinking water to people who cannot obtain it.
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