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Blog Entries by Dr. Alex Benzer

Sleep Better: A Promising New Treatment For Insomnia

7 Comments | Posted January 17, 2010 | 10:10 PM (EST)


Have you ever come across a safe, effective treatment that worked really well and, for some unfathomable reason, wasn't all that well-known to the general public?

That's how I felt when I stumbled upon hypnotherapy back in med school. It worked; its side effects were minimal to nonexistent; and it...

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Is Los Angeles the Toughest Town for Singles?

24 Comments | Posted December 8, 2009 | 02:56 PM (EST)


Little known fact: I went to high school in Los Angeles, so I'm kind of from Los Angeles.  So when I found myself back in LA after a long hiatus, it was a bit of a homecoming.  I looked forward to perpetually sunny climes, rollerblading on the boardwalk, and the...

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Why Do the Smartest Women Have the Toughest Time Dating?

355 Comments | Posted December 7, 2009 | 04:20 PM (EST)


I confess: I love smart women. I love it when she can write a sonnet, use Euler's formula, code Perl, play a concerto, speak half a dozen languages, run a company, quote Chaucer, diagnose diabetes, compose a quartet and converse brilliantly. Especially in a big city like Los Angeles or...

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Michael Bernard Beckwith: A Spiritual Teacher for Our Times

5 Comments | Posted November 27, 2009 | 09:25 AM (EST)


The year was 2005. I had just decided to leave my fancy corporate job at the world's most prestigious consulting firm to take up instead the far more lucrative profession of writing books for an as-yet invisible audience. Mom was sure to love this story ("You quit that to do...

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9 Reasons Why Dating Actors is a Bad Idea

22 Comments | Posted November 12, 2009 | 01:13 PM (EST)


One of the most common romantic fantasies that men and women in this country tend to have is to date an actor.  The men all want an Angelina Jolie, and all the women want a Brad Pitt.

And why not (besides the mildly inconvenient fact of those two being...

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Everyday Grace At Trader Joe's: Who You Really Are

1 Comments | Posted November 6, 2009 | 02:58 PM (EST)


I want to share a quick story with you about something that happened at Trader Joe's grocery store yesterday.

These days, I'm in the middle of teaching a month-long mentoring program for men. We keep a certain amount of material in the course secret for two reasons: it works...

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'Half The Sky' With Nicholas Kristof: A Morally Persuasive Call to Action

4 Comments | Posted October 27, 2009 | 11:10 AM (EST)


Every once in a while, a book comes out with such a compelling message that you have no choice but to be moved and take action in response to it. 

Last night I had the privilege of attending a talk by New York Times journalist Nicholas Kristof sponsored by...

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How to Be a Multiorgasmic Man, Pt 1

1 Comments | Posted October 16, 2009 | 02:52 PM (EST)


Chances are I'm sharing far too much by telling you this story, but I feel as if this information has been hidden from men for far too long. Here it goes anyway.

I'm in my second year of medical school, browsing the local Borders bookstore. I'm going through the...

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Project Love: Radically Transform Your World In 2 Minutes

1 Comments | Posted October 6, 2009 | 04:00 PM (EST)


If I showed you a technique that elevates your mood, energizes you and makes you more charismatic on top of it all, would you be willing to spend 2 minutes testing it out for yourself?

Of course not. You're way too busy for that. I mean, you're important and stuff....

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Dude or Dud? The Deadbeat Boyfriend Test

37 Comments | Posted September 29, 2009 | 12:06 PM (EST)


Recently I've been noticing a spate of breakups amongst my female friends.

Just last week I was having dinner with Katie on her birthday. She was coming off a 6-year relationship with her boyfriend Dustin. Katie's 30; he was 41.

The breakup was still stinging three months after the fact....

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Travel as Therapy, Pt 2: 10 Ways to Heal the Soul & Expand the Mind

1 Comments | Posted September 23, 2009 | 03:45 PM (EST)


While ruminating over my summer travels in Northern Europe, I came up with 10 ways the trip affected me positively.  Last week, I shared the first 5 ways travel can transform you.  They were:

1. You increase your patience.
2. You become more resourceful.
3. You open your heart...

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Travel as Therapy, Pt 1: 10 Ways to Heal the Soul & Expand the Mind

4 Comments | Posted September 19, 2009 | 12:50 PM (EST)


Finally, after years of telling myself "I'll spend this summer in Europe," I got my act together and went for a monthlong trip to Northeast Europe. Not only was it a great experience, but it also reminded me of the power of travel to heal the soul and expand the...

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What Really Makes Us Happy And Healthy

24 Comments | Posted July 28, 2009 | 11:02 AM (EST)


A few days ago I came across this fantastic article on happiness by Joshua Wolf Shenk (a college classmate of mine, coincidentally) in The Atlantic Monthly on the Grant Study, the longest longitudinal study of happiness ever conducted....

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How To Feel Good About Disappointing Friends

32 Comments | Posted July 22, 2009 | 08:09 AM (EST)


Recently, on a trip to New York City for a conference, things didn't turn out quite as expected.

Knowing that my Big Apple friends are busy bees, I wrote them all an email a month before getting there, saying in essence, "I'm coming, would love to see you, prepare the...

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How to Succeed In Spite Of The Recession: 'The Soul Of Success'

15 Comments | Posted July 14, 2009 | 10:04 AM (EST)


When the going gets tough, the tough get meditating.

A few weekends ago I had the privilege of attending The Soul of Success seminar with Marianne Williamson and Deepak Chopra in Los Angeles.

In these times of economic uncertainty, Marianne and Deepak had decided to transmit a message...

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The Tao of Dating: 5 Principles to Overcome Any Challenge in Your Love Life

43 Comments | Posted July 8, 2009 | 03:21 PM (EST)


I get many letters like this from readers (both male and female):

"I met this guy, and he took me to dinner, and it was really romantic, but he did/didn't try to kiss me, then he called/didn't call back, then he asked/didn't ask me out again, and what does it...

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Why the Mullahs are Un-Iranian: 7 Fatal Flaws

36 Comments | Posted July 1, 2009 | 10:25 AM (EST)


For all of us who have been observing and supporting the Iranian protests from afar, there are two useful things we can do: send the protesters our encouragement, and spread useful information.

So in the spirit of educating my fellow Americans and other non-Iranians, I thought I'd give you a...

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A Good Day for Gratitude: What's Happening in Iran Now

Posted June 18, 2009 | 10:50 AM (EST)


This post has almost nothing to do with self-improvement or dating. So feel free to skip this message entirely if that's what you're expecting.

However, it has everything to do with being a compassionate, aware human being. Which is the real purpose of these articles, as some of you may...

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The Lakers Don't Exist: The Hidden Secret to Happiness

3 Comments | Posted June 10, 2009 | 03:24 PM (EST)


I remember when I was a young pup, in the glory days of Showtime, I used to be a huge fan of the Los Angeles Lakers.

You had Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and Magic Johnson. You had James Worthy and Byron Scott. You had all these guys who were superstars in their...

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How to Toss Toxic Mates in 3 Simple Steps

7 Comments | Posted June 4, 2009 | 04:16 PM (EST)


Last night, I was talking to these two lovely young ladies -- let's call them Ashley and Sarah -- at a networking event in Los Angeles. They seemed preoccupied about a message Ashley was composing on her Blackberry.

They kept on going back and forth, with Sarah editing Ashley --...

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