Willpower Doesn't Exist: The New Way to Get Stuff Done

In a passage from Homer's Odyssey, Odysseus and his ship are about to pass through the Siren-infested waters. On the one hand, he knows that hearing their song will spell his doom. On the other hand, he's dying of curiosity and is tired of hearing about their song and just wants to hear their song, dammit, and be the only mortal to live to tell.

Now Odysseus is one crafty dude, so he tells all of his sailors to plug their ears with wax so they can't be tempted by the Sirens' song. He keeps his own ears unplugged, but has his mates lash him to the mast and ignore everything he says. That way, he gets to eat his cake and have it too: he hears the Sirens, but doesn't die.

This is what I call the Odysseus Protocol. Essentially it's arranging your physical environment to achieve the outcome you want so you don't have to rely on willpower. Odysseus' outcome was "Hear The Siren's Song Without Croaking." So he plugged his crew's ears so they wouldn't be tempted, and made sure he didn't do anything silly by getting himself tied up nice and tight.

Now a lot of you may have heard a lot about this thing called willpower. Really? Where is it? Next to the pasta sauce at Ralph's? Must have missed it.

Listen up: willpower does not exist. Never had; never will. There's action, and inaction. That's it.

There's a universal principle for realizing potential: things will flourish spontaneously when the conditions are right. Instead of relying on willpower, create those conditions in advance.

A sequoia seed is an unimpressive thing -- about an inch long, smaller than an apricot pit. And if you drop it on concrete, or linoleum, not much happens.

Yet it contains the complete blueprint for creating a huge sequoia tree - one of the oldest, largest organisms on the planet. So the seed has the potential to become something pretty impressive. But when it's stuck in the wrong spot, it'll just shrivel up or get eaten by birds.

On the other hand, let's say this sequoia seed fell on some nice, moist earth. And let's say a donkey passing by happened to have the urge to bury the seed under a big steaming pile of donkey dung.

Now the seed's got a chance. And according to its innate program, it will start to grow spontaneously. At first, a wispy little thing. Then it puts out a root system and becomes self-sustaining.

Pretty soon, it'll be it's own little ecosystem and provide shelter and food for thousands of other creatures.

Sometimes the right conditions are about preventing harmful events. If a bird swoops down and eats the seed, end of story.

Now with people, we have a similar scenario. We all have vast amounts of talent and potential within ourselves; most of us just don't tap into them as much as possible.

This may have to do with people thinking that it's all about willpower or its flip side, weakness.

Well, the good news is that you as a human possess the gift of arranging conditions to favor the outcome you want. It's not about your being perfect or having infinite willpower. It's about recognizing that, like Odysseus, you're fallible. So in lucid moments, you structure your life to serve your own best interest.

Take TV, for example -- a net negative entity for me, since every minute spent watching others pretend to live life is a minute I haven't spent living my own. I'd much rather read, cook and hang out with friends, so the opportunity cost of watching TV is too high.

I recognize the tendency in myself to plop down in front of the boob tube and surf for hours on end, justifying my torpor with reasoning like "This National Geographic special on frogs is so educational!" or "These game show leech-eating contests are a fascinating window into Japanese culture."

Riiight. I was wasting my time, and feeling guilty about if afterward. Solution: I got rid of my TV over a decade ago. Haven't had one since. Sometimes I miss watching The Simpsons on Sunday nights, but you can get that online now, without the ads. And it gives me an excuse to visit friends with TV sets.

So there's the surefire Odysseus protocol: you remove the source of the bad behavior. Then you don't have to rely on your willpower, memory, or saintliness. After a few months, you'll get so used to your new way of doing things, you won't miss the old way or be tempted by it.

Let's talk about food and health. Over half of Americans are overweight, and it's self-inflicted. Unlike French geese, no one is shoving food down our throats through a funnel except for ourselves. And Americans famously eat a lot of high-calorie, low-nutrition, fattening food.

So if you're one of those people who wants to shed excess mass, start by emptying your fridge and cupboards of sugary, fatty food and never purchasing that stuff again. So there's no butter, mayonnaise, processed cheese, sweets, candy bars, ice cream or dessert anywhere in your household. Only healthy stuff like fruit, of which you can eat as much as you want, because you'll feel too full before you have a chance to ingest excessive calories.

Let's talk about your circle of associates. Are some of them bubbly, fun, positive people who are always propping you up? Great! If you like to grow as a person, spend more time around them.

Are some of them snarky, gossipy, negative people who always have something to complain about? Chances are those friends aren't going to be the catalyst to your greatness.

So quietly excise the merchants of negative energy from your life and spend as much time with the sunshine brigade as possible. They say that your income is the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. I'm guessing your attitude and contentment probably follow a similar pattern, so keep that in mind.

What else can we Odysseus here? Ah yes, dating. Let's say you do silly things when you're drunk on a date. Possible solution: try not to order any booze the evening of your next date.

But that's not the full Odysseus: you're still relying on willpower here, and we already know that doesn't work.

The key is to make it impossible for you to have the undesired behavior. So you have the date at a cafe where alcohol is not served at all. Or go for a walk in the park instead of the sit-down dinner.

As for the things you want to do: Odysseus yourself into committing to them early, so you can't possibly waffle and weave your way out later.

Sign up for the night class you want to take as soon as possible. Once you've plunked down the money and made the commitment, you're less likely to renege on yourself. Same goes for trips - book them now. If you keep your options open too long, you'll lose them.

In what ways have you utilized the Odysseus protocol and didn't even know it? I'm out of space here, so let's hear it from you.

The power is within you.

Twitter: @dralexbenzer
Email: dralex(at)thetaoofdating.com

Comments

[Russell Bishop - Huffpost Blogger]

Hey Alex: great post - thanks for your ongoing set of superb contributions.

My experience working with people on change, is that most people are trying to move away from something they don't like, rather than toward something they prefer. It takes "will power" to stop eating sugar, to stop overeating, etc and as you note, there's no such thing. (When I'm playing with someone to get them to see an alternative point of view, I suggest they have a lot more "won't power" than they do "will power.")

Anyway, in place of will power, I suggest people get clear on where they are wanting to go, why they want to get there, and what it would be like to experience the outcome. By focusing on desired experience as a function of desired outcome, they have more choices about what they can do, rather than what they have to stop doing.

From there, two rather simple things seem to help: keep the focus and make small choices. If I make one small choice today toward my desired out come, I'm better off than making no choices at all. 7 small choices in a week start to add up; the more I move toward my desired experience, the easier it is to keep the focus and to keep choosing.

Again, thanks for the great post.

[Laura Harvey]

Nice article. Striving to have enough willpower to resist something just imprisons us to our undesired behavior. It's all about nonresistance. Great suggestion to set up our environment for success and there will be nothing to resist.

[SweetBabu]

You're so right. I waste more time on HuffPo than I should, and it gets me all worked up to boot. I have work piling up on my desk that I've been neglecting in order to post nasty diatribes against the teabaggers. So goodbye for awhile HuffPo! I've got other things to do!

[VJKramer]

Ya gotta laugh! Just wondered if you stuck with your "goodbye for awhile HuffPo" thought, so I checked how many posts you've made since then: more than 70...in one day!

Oooohhhh, guess you were joking!! Or, have no willpower like me! ;-)

[SLCPunk]

Huh.

And here I thought it took willpower to throw out your TV or quit buying ice cream sandwiches.

Having willpower is a double-edged sword. It makes quitting destructive behavior easier and it removes all the rationalization because it doesn't accept it logically. Bottom line, it's about wanting to or not wanting to. Either way, it's a measure of willpower. Arguments like yours are just semantics. If you care enough about your life to rearrange your physical environment to avoid temptation, you're exhibiting willpower.

[freedomisabsolute]

I agree. There is no willpower, but there surely is willpower.

It's just too bad after all day having the willpower to not do something and then all of the sudden succumbing. I think what he is describing is more willpower than just saying I'm not going to do this. I mean your will is what you want or don't and when using action to achieve objectives tada willpower, just what you're describing.

[willain]

A very good perspective. That should work for some people on some cases. I'll try that to see how that works out for me.

Thanks!

[Jocalo]

The ability to exercise willpower is a spectrum. It depends on the individual response to various "sirens," My best friend never became a hardcore smoker, because she was not addicted the same way that I was. She would forget to smoke if there weren't smokers around her. She never had to exercise much "willpower" in order to quit. There are other areas of her life where she needs to be lashed to a mast, so she is aware that it is not moral superiority that keeps her from smoking. Many people falsely consider themselves strong if they resist temptations that others find difficult, even if the particular siren doesn't sing their song.

Willpower is based in brain chemistry, just like addiction. The Odysseus solution makes sense for those who struggle, and fail when they don't recognize that they are not picking their weaknesses. People who don't struggle as much should be grateful for their inborn chemical makeup instead of feeling morally superior. Feeling smug about willpower is akin to comparing yourself to a schizophrenic and congratulating yourself on your grasp of reality.

Here is an example of my point: There is a Parkinson's drug that can cause compulsive gambling in previously non-gambling persons. If we can chemically induce a "moral failing," what does that tell us about our concept of personal choice?

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2006-03-01-parkinsons-gambling_x.htm

[Dr. Alex Benzer - Huffpost Blogger]

This is the key insight: we are all wired for compulsive behavior. If you believe that we have a triune brain -- cortex, limbic brain and brainstem -- then compulsive behavior comes from the lower, or older, two brains.

Here's the thing: the more primitive parts of your brain have hegemony over the higher parts. In other words, brainstem rules over limbic brain rules over cortex. Maybe not 100% of the time, but pretty darn close. If you're in love (limbic brain), you'll disregard your cortex saying that the guy's a jerk. If you're hungry or need to pee, you'll forget that you're in love.

The essence of the Odysseus Protocol is to recognize this feature of the brain and to structure your life in times of calm rationality, using the wisdom of your cortex, to prevent the lower structures from getting you to do something incredibly stupid, like sinking your ship or gobbling a vat of Haagen Dazs.

[SunnyT]

That is the most helpful information I've read on the Internet in AGES!

Seriously, I need to stay off the political pages. I get so riled up by bloggers, I snap at my co-workers. Not good. Stop doing that. Okay. But, arrgghh, I can't stop!

"Structure your life in times of calm rationalit­y...." I *can* do that. I can delete political blogs from my "favorites" and substitute HuffPo living, style and green sections, add a bald eagle nest web cam and happier, more calming diversions.

Ahhhhh.

Thank you, Dr. Alex! Awesome advice!

[samclemens]

In my opinion it is an incorrect simplification of the processes in the human brain. You claim that we have clear and proved results regarding these problems, but we don't have. At the moment we have only a new version of an old theory - determinism.

And you shouldn't forget, that Odysseus survived all the difficulties because of his love for his wife!

[Jocalo]

Sounds like Maslow' s hierarchy of needs is being confirmed in brain science. In recovery circles calm rationality is called the moment of clarity. It occurs when there is complete acceptance that you cannot fight whatever you battle, because you always lose. The illusion of self-control is very dangerous, because if you think you can control it there is no reason to stop the behavior. If you can control it then you should be able to do it whenever you want and stop at will. It's a rare former smoker that gets to exercise the Holy Grail of moderation and keep that much loved after-dinner cigarette, the reality is that most of us have to completely abstain. It is a much better use of energy to turn your attention to positive action and change the structure of your life so it isn't an endless, internal battle. It is no measure of strength even if you "win" and walk around your life drained. Acceptance of reality is far braver because it requires change. You make the point very clearly that one can trick the primitive brain, but hand-to-hand combat is futile. So much suffering is caused by those who believe that willpower is a virtue, not a gift, and I thank you for raising this topic.

[cmk1967]

I use to watch a lot of tv and always thought about getting rid of cable but wasn't sure I could do it. I had to cut back on expenses and got rid of it. It wasn't that bad. I watched zero tv because my tv wouldn't pick up any stations without cable. Months afterwards I went to visit my parents who had cable and I started channel surfing. It took being away from TV to help cleanse the palate of my brain and channel surfing made me realize just how much crap is on TV and what a complete waste of time watching tv is. I can afford cable now but have no desire to sign up for it.

If anyone has been thinking of getting rid of cable I would highly recommend you do it for at least a few months. After a few months I doubt you'll want to go back to cable.

[SunnyT]

Good for you, cmk! I did the same thing. Cable was one more unhealthy addiction that was robbing me of the quality of life I want. Now, when I 'surf' the few local channels I get, I can recognize "crap tv" (that's exactly what I call it) and turn it off. A lot of time is freed up for activities that are much more satisfying. I sleep better, too. I highly recommend less television for a better quality of life!

[pc51]

Perfect way to describe how things really happen! Everyone thinks they can set up these perfect sterile circumstances and true, honest growth and creativity will happen - when nothing could be further from the truth! When a random donkey leaves you covered in a big pile of "steaming dung" - that's where it all starts for real. But try shouting that from an Ivy league rooftop or a big government power point presentation or a smug corporate boardroom. You know - all of those very fortunate and highly educated people who "knew" what they were doing for the last couple of decades.

[samclemens]

Willpower exists. Decisions are not only depending on the right circumstances. Freedom of deccision between different solutions exists. Read Thomas d'Aquino!
Mr Benzer's ideas are only a new variety of determinism on the basis of some new neurological research. A funny example: L'homme machine by Jules La Mettrie.

[Rayme]

I did a lot of research when I was looking to lose weight. I looked more at how the human body works than at what food to eat. It taught me that using willpower to lose weight is a very flawed ideology. The body is in control and the mind exercises choices. I removed the low in nutrition and toxic food from my grocery list and started stocking up on high in nutrition and low in processed ingredients that I enjoyed eating and lo and behold, I lost 80 lbs. People around me who still defend 'Willpower' are also still 'Fat'. I smile and nod politely.

[Dr. Alex Benzer - Huffpost Blogger]

That is just brilliant. See comment above for elaboration on this concept.

[SunnyT]

Congratulations to you, Rayme!!!

[Anastasia]

I happen to think that working on moderation, rather than banishment of the things I love, will ultimately to a happier, more contented life.

Wasting time is as much a part of a well rounded life as being productive. Fooling around doing nothing, even being bored is part of the human experience. We're not machines and it's not necessary to be "on" one hundred percent of the time.

[Diogenis]

Everything in moderation.

[allonfla]

that's just an excuse people use when they've totally given up or failed at being disciplined.

[JustSayMaybe]

Moderation requires some serious discipline. It's easier to let yourself go all out or not touch something with a 20-foot pole than it is to have a little bit (of whatever, food, alcohol, veg-out time) and then stop.

[TruEngineHearing]

yes, including moderation.

[hegdehog]

Dr. Benzer, you sound like you have an addictive personality. What worked for you would be excessive for most people. Some people can keep a quart of ice cream in the freezer or a bag of chips in a kitchen cabinet and make them last for months. Other people will polish them off in a single sitting. You may lack the willpower to control your urges, but that doesn't mean willpower doesn't exist. Most of us can own a television set without turning into complete couch potatoes.

[Diogenis]

Ah, but here you open a pandora's box. The next article should be about addictions. What's a complete couch potato ?

[hegdehog]

I'll need to refer you to an authoritative source:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Couch_potato

[incognito-ergo-sum]

That description refers to the ones that have put roots into the couch and are in the process of growing green hair.

This is a great article, come on folks, lighten up here. You are criticizing this as if it was his doctoral thesis.

[hegdehog]

Wonderful advice. Now if I could only figure out a way to run my online business without using a computer. I know I _should_ be working, but I just had to give your article a real quick read first. These articles about how to quit procrastinating and get things done can be _so_ helpful! And as soon as I'm done checking Egotastic and TMZ, I'll fire up the old email program and take care of customer emails. Right after I check out a few Simpsons episodes, of course...

[frozenporklander]

When you find out, let me know.... I think I was so much more productive back in the days of 1200 baud modems, monochrome monitors, and WordStar.

[Soundofthunder]

Baloney. When I quit smoking 21 years ago, it was willpower. I didn't use any replacement therapies or hypnosis or become a binge eater. I heard the Siren's song of cigs, but it had no effect on me. Why? Willpower. I hung out with my smoker friends. They offered cigarettes, I said no. Willpower. I hung out in bars full of smoke and drank beer, which was usually accompanied by a cigarette, and never asked for a cigarette. Willpower. Some have it, most don't. I do. Don't discredit a power I have because few have it. It's insulting.

SOT

[HoneyBQuick]

And like most ex-smokers, you are so incredibly full of yourself that you're the only one who wants to listen to what an amazingly strong will-powered individual you are.

You no longer smell of cigarettes, you just rank of pompous self-adulation.

GLORY BE!

[Diogenis]

Well said. Excuse me, I am lighting up now.

[Soundofthunder]

Nope. Just a fact that I quit and never started again. And secondhand smoke is as good a substitute for actually smoking as being near food is for curing hunger.

SOT

[hegdehog]

Well you got plenty of smoke, hanging out with your smoker friends in smokey bars, didn't you? Probably didn't even miss the heaters. Willpower? Or secondhand smoke?

[Soundofthunder]

Willpower. Secondhand smoke is to smoking what thinking about sex is to actual sex, an extremely poor substitute.

SOT

PS I didn't hang around smokers 24/7, or in bars, as you make it sound. In fact, neither roommate smoked, so they were happy as heck that I quit.

[hegdehog]

By the way, you haven't really quit smoking. Not yet, anyway. You know how I know? Because you still know precisely how long it's been since you've had one. As long as you're keeping track, you're still in recovery. When it no longer matters, THEN you'll be an ex-smoker. Do you still hang out with smokers whenever you get the chance? Mmmm... the delicious taste of secondhand smoke. Sure kills those nasty nic fits, don't it?

[Anastasia]

I the exact date that I quit smoking because it was the hardest thing I've ever done, believe me, it takes real will power to kick a three pack a day habit.

Even though according to conventional wisdom, one should banish all cigarettes from the house, I kept an entire carton in a drawer for years but never touched them.

[Soundofthunder]

Because I can recall when I quit means I have a good memory. Got that? Also, I don't hang around ZERO smokers because I don't like inhaling secondhand smoke anymore than I like the smell of your firsthand bull.

SOT

[campgranata]

congratulations on quiting smoking through willpower.