In a passage from Homer's Odyssey, Odysseus and his ship are about to pass through the Siren-infested waters. On the one hand, he knows that hearing their song will spell his doom. On the other hand, he's dying of curiosity and is tired of hearing about their song and just wants to hear their song, dammit, and be the only mortal to live to tell.
Now Odysseus is one crafty dude, so he tells all of his sailors to plug their ears with wax so they can't be tempted by the Sirens' song. He keeps his own ears unplugged, but has his mates lash him to the mast and ignore everything he says. That way, he gets to eat his cake and have it too: he hears the Sirens, but doesn't die.
This is what I call the Odysseus Protocol. Essentially it's arranging your physical environment to achieve the outcome you want so you don't have to rely on willpower. Odysseus' outcome was "Hear The Siren's Song Without Croaking." So he plugged his crew's ears so they wouldn't be tempted, and made sure he didn't do anything silly by getting himself tied up nice and tight.
Now a lot of you may have heard a lot about this thing called willpower. Really? Where is it? Next to the pasta sauce at Ralph's? Must have missed it.
Listen up: willpower does not exist. Never had; never will. There's action, and inaction. That's it.
There's a universal principle for realizing potential: things will flourish spontaneously when the conditions are right. Instead of relying on willpower, create those conditions in advance.
A sequoia seed is an unimpressive thing -- about an inch long, smaller than an apricot pit. And if you drop it on concrete, or linoleum, not much happens.
Yet it contains the complete blueprint for creating a huge sequoia tree - one of the oldest, largest organisms on the planet. So the seed has the potential to become something pretty impressive. But when it's stuck in the wrong spot, it'll just shrivel up or get eaten by birds.
On the other hand, let's say this sequoia seed fell on some nice, moist earth. And let's say a donkey passing by happened to have the urge to bury the seed under a big steaming pile of donkey dung.
Now the seed's got a chance. And according to its innate program, it will start to grow spontaneously. At first, a wispy little thing. Then it puts out a root system and becomes self-sustaining.
Pretty soon, it'll be it's own little ecosystem and provide shelter and food for thousands of other creatures.
Sometimes the right conditions are about preventing harmful events. If a bird swoops down and eats the seed, end of story.
Now with people, we have a similar scenario. We all have vast amounts of talent and potential within ourselves; most of us just don't tap into them as much as possible.
This may have to do with people thinking that it's all about willpower or its flip side, weakness.
Well, the good news is that you as a human possess the gift of arranging conditions to favor the outcome you want. It's not about your being perfect or having infinite willpower. It's about recognizing that, like Odysseus, you're fallible. So in lucid moments, you structure your life to serve your own best interest.
Take TV, for example -- a net negative entity for me, since every minute spent watching others pretend to live life is a minute I haven't spent living my own. I'd much rather read, cook and hang out with friends, so the opportunity cost of watching TV is too high.
I recognize the tendency in myself to plop down in front of the boob tube and surf for hours on end, justifying my torpor with reasoning like "This National Geographic special on frogs is so educational!" or "These game show leech-eating contests are a fascinating window into Japanese culture."
Riiight. I was wasting my time, and feeling guilty about if afterward. Solution: I got rid of my TV over a decade ago. Haven't had one since. Sometimes I miss watching The Simpsons on Sunday nights, but you can get that online now, without the ads. And it gives me an excuse to visit friends with TV sets.
So there's the surefire Odysseus protocol: you remove the source of the bad behavior. Then you don't have to rely on your willpower, memory, or saintliness. After a few months, you'll get so used to your new way of doing things, you won't miss the old way or be tempted by it.
Let's talk about food and health. Over half of Americans are overweight, and it's self-inflicted. Unlike French geese, no one is shoving food down our throats through a funnel except for ourselves. And Americans famously eat a lot of high-calorie, low-nutrition, fattening food.
So if you're one of those people who wants to shed excess mass, start by emptying your fridge and cupboards of sugary, fatty food and never purchasing that stuff again. So there's no butter, mayonnaise, processed cheese, sweets, candy bars, ice cream or dessert anywhere in your household. Only healthy stuff like fruit, of which you can eat as much as you want, because you'll feel too full before you have a chance to ingest excessive calories.
Let's talk about your circle of associates. Are some of them bubbly, fun, positive people who are always propping you up? Great! If you like to grow as a person, spend more time around them.
Are some of them snarky, gossipy, negative people who always have something to complain about? Chances are those friends aren't going to be the catalyst to your greatness.
So quietly excise the merchants of negative energy from your life and spend as much time with the sunshine brigade as possible. They say that your income is the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. I'm guessing your attitude and contentment probably follow a similar pattern, so keep that in mind.
What else can we Odysseus here? Ah yes, dating. Let's say you do silly things when you're drunk on a date. Possible solution: try not to order any booze the evening of your next date.
But that's not the full Odysseus: you're still relying on willpower here, and we already know that doesn't work.
The key is to make it impossible for you to have the undesired behavior. So you have the date at a cafe where alcohol is not served at all. Or go for a walk in the park instead of the sit-down dinner.
As for the things you want to do: Odysseus yourself into committing to them early, so you can't possibly waffle and weave your way out later.
Sign up for the night class you want to take as soon as possible. Once you've plunked down the money and made the commitment, you're less likely to renege on yourself. Same goes for trips - book them now. If you keep your options open too long, you'll lose them.
In what ways have you utilized the Odysseus protocol and didn't even know it? I'm out of space here, so let's hear it from you.
The power is within you.
Twitter: @dralexbenzer
Email: dralex(at)thetaoofdating.com
Follow Dr. Ali Binazir on Twitter: www.twitter.com/DrAliBinazir
My experience working with people on change, is that most people are trying to move away from something they don't like, rather than toward something they prefer. It takes "will power" to stop eating sugar, to stop overeating, etc and as you note, there's no such thing. (When I'm playing with someone to get them to see an alternative point of view, I suggest they have a lot more "won't power" than they do "will power.")
Anyway, in place of will power, I suggest people get clear on where they are wanting to go, why they want to get there, and what it would be like to experience the outcome. By focusing on desired experience as a function of desired outcome, they have more choices about what they can do, rather than what they have to stop doing.
From there, two rather simple things seem to help: keep the focus and make small choices. If I make one small choice today toward my desired out come, I'm better off than making no choices at all. 7 small choices in a week start to add up; the more I move toward my desired experience, the easier it is to keep the focus and to keep choosing.
Again, thanks for the great post.
Oooohhhh, guess you were joking!! Or, have no willpower like me! ;-)
And here I thought it took willpower to throw out your TV or quit buying ice cream sandwiches.
Having willpower is a double-edged sword. It makes quitting destructive behavior easier and it removes all the rationalization because it doesn't accept it logically. Bottom line, it's about wanting to or not wanting to. Either way, it's a measure of willpower. Arguments like yours are just semantics. If you care enough about your life to rearrange your physical environment to avoid temptation, you're exhibiting willpower.
It's just too bad after all day having the willpower to not do something and then all of the sudden succumbing. I think what he is describing is more willpower than just saying I'm not going to do this. I mean your will is what you want or don't and when using action to achieve objectives tada willpower, just what you're describing.
Thanks!
Willpower is based in brain chemistry, just like addiction. The Odysseus solution makes sense for those who struggle, and fail when they don't recognize that they are not picking their weaknesses. People who don't struggle as much should be grateful for their inborn chemical makeup instead of feeling morally superior. Feeling smug about willpower is akin to comparing yourself to a schizophrenic and congratulating yourself on your grasp of reality.
Here is an example of my point: There is a Parkinson's drug that can cause compulsive gambling in previously non-gambling persons. If we can chemically induce a "moral failing," what does that tell us about our concept of personal choice?
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2006-03-01-parkinsons-gambling_x.htm
Here's the thing: the more primitive parts of your brain have hegemony over the higher parts. In other words, brainstem rules over limbic brain rules over cortex. Maybe not 100% of the time, but pretty darn close. If you're in love (limbic brain), you'll disregard your cortex saying that the guy's a jerk. If you're hungry or need to pee, you'll forget that you're in love.
The essence of the Odysseus Protocol is to recognize this feature of the brain and to structure your life in times of calm rationality, using the wisdom of your cortex, to prevent the lower structures from getting you to do something incredibly stupid, like sinking your ship or gobbling a vat of Haagen Dazs.
Seriously, I need to stay off the political pages. I get so riled up by bloggers, I snap at my co-workers. Not good. Stop doing that. Okay. But, arrgghh, I can't stop!
"Structure your life in times of calm rationality...." I *can* do that. I can delete political blogs from my "favorites" and substitute HuffPo living, style and green sections, add a bald eagle nest web cam and happier, more calming diversions.
Ahhhhh.
Thank you, Dr. Alex! Awesome advice!
And you shouldn't forget, that Odysseus survived all the difficulties because of his love for his wife!
If anyone has been thinking of getting rid of cable I would highly recommend you do it for at least a few months. After a few months I doubt you'll want to go back to cable.
Mr Benzer's ideas are only a new variety of determinism on the basis of some new neurological research. A funny example: L'homme machine by Jules La Mettrie.
Wasting time is as much a part of a well rounded life as being productive. Fooling around doing nothing, even being bored is part of the human experience. We're not machines and it's not necessary to be "on" one hundred percent of the time.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Couch_potato
This is a great article, come on folks, lighten up here. You are criticizing this as if it was his doctoral thesis.
SOT
You no longer smell of cigarettes, you just rank of pompous self-adulation.
GLORY BE!
SOT
SOT
PS I didn't hang around smokers 24/7, or in bars, as you make it sound. In fact, neither roommate smoked, so they were happy as heck that I quit.