Recovery For Introverts

I went to see the Red Book of C.G. Jung, the father of analytical psychology, at the Rubin Museum in New York this week. The Red Book is Jung's personal copy of paintings and hand written observations bound in a large red leather book. Until recently almost no one was allowed to view the Red Book. He created this book to document a period in his life when he was "menaced by psychosis". It represents Carl Jung's personal experiences and his willingness to explore the range of his own unconscious fantasies. Through his ability to see the problems of his life as guides to their solution, he helped establish tremendous contributions to modern psychology. Jung saw the relationship between the myths and symbols of all cultures as a key to understanding how our unconscious expresses ideas. He understood that many of the myths represent the journey we all take to become fully developed human beings.

In 1910 Jung published a paper entitled, "Psychic Conflicts in a Child," in which he introduced the term "introversion" for the first time. We think of introversion mostly in the negative sense. The child who sits in the corner lost in his own thoughts. Kurt Cobain, whose tremendous sensitivity led to his own demise. Or Adam Sandler, the withdrawn, quiet or nervous actor. In many ways these are viewed as weaknesses in a world that values extraversion and explicit demonstrations of power or materialism.

However, introversion produces the results similar to finely cooked meal. A meal that has been carefully planned. Perhaps where days have been spent marinating the food or collecting the spices and ingredients. When the meal is finally served there is no comparison to the fast food, immediate gratification of the extravert. An introvert may be the child who does not speak until they are two, then produce full sentences with observations long forgotten by others. The introvert in fairy tales is the boy who sits in the corner doing nothing, while his brothers attempt to be arrogant heroes and fail miserably. It is finally the unspoken hero, the quiet youngest son who finds the solution to the problem.

Jung said, "The inner world is a delight for the introvert. He feels at home, where the only changes are made by himself. His best work is done with his own resources, on his own initiative, and in his own way. If ever he succeeds, after long and often wearisome struggle, in assimilating something alien to himself, he is capable of turning it to excellent account."

The problem with the introverted person is they become possessed by their own inner world. They become resentful because others have not understood the thoughts they have never communicated. They make assumptions that only could be grasped by a psychic. And they withdraw further because they assume no one can appreciate the complexity of their efforts.

As a recovering introvert myself, I always wanted to create a two step program to help others overcome their inhibitions in a healthy way. Two of the major ways to balance an introverted nature is as follows: Speak your mind. Don't be selfish, give of your self. Practicing giving without the concern for its interpretation. Take a risk, so that others may come to know you. And finally, no two step program could be complete without dancing. Dancing is a great way to express yourself and communicate with someone else that transcends words. So get out, make a fool of yourself and have a little too much fun.

Perhaps the greatest guide for a recovering introvert is the book, Letters to a Young Poet, by the German Poet Rainier Maria Rilke. He says, "for what I could say about your tendency to doubt or about your inability to bring your outer and inner lives into harmony or about all the other thing that oppress you is ... just the wish that you may find in yourself enough patience to endure and enough simplicity to have faith; that you may gain more and more confidence in what is difficult and in your solitude among other people. And as for the rest, let life happen to you. Believe me: life is in the right, always."

 

Comments

[mabinog]

"In many ways these are viewed as weaknesses in a world that values extraversion and explicit demonstrations of power or materialis­m."

And the way for introverts to deal with it is to act like an extrovert, so you too can be valued for demonstrations of power and materialism.

[johnsopinion]

Sometimes.­... I've wished there was a cure for extroverts.

[mabinog]

extroverts don't require recovery they are fine as they are. google extrovert recovery..­..

[johnsopinion]

I didn't say anything about "recovery," I said "cure."

ex⋅tro⋅vert, –noun
2. Psychology. a person characterized by extroversion;
a person concerned primarily with the physical and social
environment (opposed to introvert ).

Some of them really get on my nerves--like the
"see me" cell phone users--walking around
stores talking to someone in a loud voice as if
volume is a prerequisite for use!

[1Damien]

Posters, Stop being so self-righteous. Being an introvert doesn't make you more profound or intelligent than extroverts. I apologize to those who'll take offense to what i will say but it must be said. Being an introvert isn't the greatest thing to be! Sure introverts, may be so in tuned with their own thoughts that they can understand or see things that their counterparts can't . Introverts may even have intellectual capacities that would laud them as geniuses. But what role does a silent genius play? what good is a revolutionary idea that can't be shared? Many people on this site are angry over this article, readily defending their membership card to what they feel is an exclusive club. But in truth, many consider themselves introverts when they aren't, only because they believe it affords them extra IQ points or a false sense of depth. An introvert isn't the quiet chick that reads during recess, reading is just as much an escape as partying with friends. An introvert is someone so into their thoughts that doing anything that distracts them from themselves is troublesome, and the only problem is that reality exists with or without their awareness. When they veil themselves from society, everyone hurts, because their insights on any subject is one that society at-largee can't profit from. So please, when reading this article, try being open-minded. Accept that like extroverts, introverts have drawbacks too, making it important for both extremes to seek the gray area.

[happymomof3]

Who says we're silent or can't share ideas? Again, being an introvert does not necessarily make one shy. Also, I don't think it's self-righteous to post a reply to an article that argues we need to "recover" from what we are. Introverts are certainly no better or worse than worse than extroverts ... it's just a difference in how we experience/engage in life.

[1Damien]

I agree with your premise, but what I am trying to say is that the world is not divided into 2 factions where your either an extrovert or an introvert. The general population can be perceived as a bell curve where the majority meets in the middle while the extremes are found at the far ends where only a small percentage exist. Extroverts and introverts are the extremes that exist few in numbers of that bell curve. And just like being too tall or too short are extremes on a bell curve, both can pose potential problems or health risks.

[happymomof3]

Once again it seems introversion and shyness are being confused. While they often are both present in one's personality, it is not always so. I am an introvert empath but have no problem communicating with those around me ... because I "recovered" from my shyness. Being shy did affect my ability to communicate with others and engage in an "external" life. As such, I would agree, that it was something from which I needed to "recover". Introversion is the fundamental basis of my personality, does not interfere negatively with my life and, therefore, requires no such recovery. We don't all need to be extroverts or even less introverted. We simply need to be comfortable and unafraid to be ourselves.

[nicholasjh1]

I think what people are missing here is that everyone can use some recovery, and that the author is not suggesting you recover from introversion, but some of the negative effects such as the aforementioned shyness.

[happymomof3]

Perhaps... but with the title "Recovery for Introverts" and phrases such as "the problem with introverted people" and "recovering introvert" throughout the article, it's a point that is confused at best. His arguments for the necessity for introversion recovery detail the effects of shyness, not introversion. Even his proposed two-step program is aimed at "curing" shyness. My point is that introversion and shyness, while often interrelated, are distinctly different and should not be used interchangeablely.

[mabinog]

naw, extroverts are fine as they are since they are the majority - which is what all introverts should aspire to in order to smooth things over. We introverts need to be more like extroverts to lessen misunderstanding and possible conflict. It is in our self interest.

[nicholasjh1]

I feel like a lot of the introverts here are missing the point. The point is not that you should not be introverted, but that your communication with others is your responsibility. that a introvert that is constantly hurt because people don't understand them is completely at fault for that hurt. As an introvert i struggle with this oft times. I don't think anyone is suggesting that introversion is wrong or that everyone just needs to do some work to get the inner extrovert out. The suggestion is that you own your introversion. Maybe some of you do, but that is certainly not the case universally. I kind of just want to scream "did you even read the article?" was there any reflection on what it meant at all? It's not an attack on introverts. Are you even really an introvert, or just so socially maladjusted that you can't think to understand the article first before commenting?

[Haditup2here]

I think the issue is the way parts of the article was worded such as in the case of the passage below:

"The problem with the introverted person is they become possessed by their own inner world. They become resentful because others have not understood the thoughts they have never communicated. They make assumptions that only could be grasped by a psychic. And they withdraw further because they assume no one can appreciate the complexity of their efforts."

Instead he should have written:

The introverted person may have a problem "if" he/she become possessed by their own inner world. As a result, they can become resentful because others have not understood the thoughts they have never communicated. In such a case, they make assumptions that only could be grasped by a psychic. Thus, they can withdraw further because they assume no one can appreciate the complexity of their efforts.

Another poster, pointed this out earlier -- and yes, it does make a difference in inference.

[iowamo]

I remember being aggravated by the extroverts in school. They seemed to say every stupid thing that came to their minds.

I do sometimes envy them now and sometimes turn to booze to fit in. Not worth it thought. I am happy with being deep, even if they appear happier being shallow.

[iamjones]

okay---wow. a lot of negative commentary here.

i for one, as an introvert, agree with this post to a certain extent. i believe many responding with such vitriol are seeing this as a very black and white issue. there is a lot of grey there...

as an introvert, i really sometimes have to push myself "out the door", to accept invitations or an outing of some type. i KNOW i will have fun once i am there, but the pushing myself to accept and actually GO is the struggle for some introverts.

i love both. i love the social. i love the solo. being the introvert, i need a majority of the latter and a paucity of the former. i don't need to be "healed", but i do indeed need to be pushed sometimes.­...

[Nikmc]

Lisa says:
According to Jung, extroverts recharge their batteries by being with people. Introverts recharge by being alone. Neither one needs to recover from anything. It's how we're all built. I resent the fact that the Doc is trying to tell me, an introvert, that I have to "recover" from it. Just like some of the extroverts in my life who can't stop telling me I should "get out more often.

---I completely agree. I am an introvert too. I grew up as an only child and loved to read and play with myself. Of course I had friends, and i did spend a lot of time outside, whether it be with others or alone.
As I got older I realise how much more entertained I was in smaller groups, and even more, how much I loved my company. I was comfortable with myself, and had/have no problem being alone. I too dislike when people stress "why don't you go out?" or the classic, "what are your plans for this weekend?" I usually respond, "I have none. I'll probably go for a walk if i feel like it, or read a book." The point is, I don't need to be around others to feel connected and feel worthy. I don't need to recover from anything, I'm not sick. I am an empath and an introvert and proud.

[PenguinLinux]

I'm also an introverted empath, so I can relate.

[MsCanuck]

I'm an introvert healer, INFP for those who do the Myers Briggs - I certainly relate to what you say, and know what I wouldn't change a thing.

[gremlin1]

As an introvert, I am in no more need of recovery than an extrovert would be. I truly resent the suggestion that there is something about my introversion that is "sick".

The only problem with being an introvert is that we are misunderstood. Sadly, articles like this by so-called experts only makes it worse for us.

I suggest people read these articles for some real insight into who we are:

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200602u/introverts

[Nikmc]

thanks! great articles. I am sick too, as I mentioned in my post, of being labelled as something being "wrong" with me. I'm fine. I don't need excessive outside stimulation to feel fine in my skin. I love having extensive thought provoking discussions with myself even! LOL! and no, i'm not crazy. I am just easily entertained my my company. I like quiet. I do like people, and I do socialise, but not to showboat.

[Skylarstar]

Even the title of this article is offensive.

[heraT]

I don't need to 'recover' from being who I am.

[Skylarstar]

Excellent response heraT....f­rom one introvert to another.

[OnTheCusp]

In my experience, I've found it is the quiet MIDDLE sibling who comes to the rescue of the family, not the youngest.

[DevRock]

Well, one thing that struck me in this article - and is absolutely true for me - is introverts may not speak up enough in their (our) defense or about our feelings. this has hurt me tremendously in my life and I'm almost 40. There are many times I wish I was NOT introverted, so I wouldn't feel do damn awkward in social situations.

But, i still think I'm smarter than most people. :)

[Caru]

As you should.

[Heauxbeaux]

"Physician, heal thyself!" Introversion is not a disease that one needs to revover from any more than a lecturer is an affliction that you should recover from. As a physician you need to understand that human diversity is the key to life, not conformity. Perhaps you shoud speak less and listen more. This is a constant complaint I hear about physicians; they see the disease and the symptoms but never the person.

[Zuzette]

I Agree! Introversion & extroversion are only the ways that we all recharge ourselves. Neither is anything that warrents recovering from! They are perfectly normal inborn traits, not choices or mental health diagnoses. The good Dr. should not mistake introvertion for social antisocial behavior any more than extroversion should be mistaken for mania.
Introverts spend energy when they are with others & collect energy when alone. Extroverts collect energy when with others & spend it when alone. This does not mean that introverts cannot handle social situations or that extroverts cannot handle being alone. Implying that introverts are somehow defective is ridiculous.
The U. S. population happens to have more extroverts than introverts. But other countries, like Japan, have more introverts. Whichever group happens to be in the majority tends to have an advantage. Everyone could benefit from a better understanding of how this perceptual dynamic can effect all our interactions.

[The Legend]

You guys make me proud to be an introvert.