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Dr. Cara Barker

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An Equinox Prescription for Love, This Autumn

Posted: 09/22/10 10:00 AM ET

Love has its seasons, as does nature, for one is the extension and expression of the other. Although around the world, love's associated with spring, the truth is that spring never comes without what precedes it. Likewise, love never comes without a healthy relationship to preparing the way. Granted, Love's autumn and winter might seem less sexy, than St. Valentine's arrow, but they are necessary parts of the cycle for the Eternal Return of new life.

The Question of this Equinox. Where are you in the 'loving yourself' department? How generous are you being? What possibilites are you holding for yourself, and the rest of us? I hope you are not being stingy, which is the antithesis of an autumnal attitude. Regardless how much self-help rah, rah, rah is out there, when we hit the slippery slope of self-condemnation, we forget magnificence in ourselves and others. One of the saddest repeating complaints I hear from women, (often regarded as highly successful in both domestic and international business worlds) is the refrain: "Why can't I 'get' a good man? There are no good men left!" (Think unresolved papa problems.) From men, who've not been ready for autumn love to touch them, the chief complaint goes something like this: "No matter what I do, it's never good enough for her." (Think unresolved mother issues.)

The Underlying Problem. Gender and complexes aside, the unifying problem, here, is poverty consciousness. This attitude flies in the face of what fall symbolizes: 'plentitude'. (Michael Beckwith, I thank you for this word!) Ah, 'plentitude'. What we believe to be so becomes our experience. As findings in neuroscience attest, there's more than strong evidence that the old adage 'what you think about, you bring about,' turns out to be so. If I'm convinced that love will never find me, guess what? I'll be right. Whatever order you place at 'Love Store Central,' sets in motion what UPS (Universal Producing System) delivers. This is no 'woo woo 'psychobabble, but science. (For more on this, find resources below.)

Nature Doesn't Lie. Meanwhile, just ask the walruses. Nature doesn't lie, reflecting back our relationship to it. Do a slip-shod job in off-shore wells, and you end up with devasting spills. Send men down into unsecured mines, and you end up with incarcerated lives. Ignore the warnings about global warming, and you threaten the species. Because the human race has not (yet) embraced the reality that we are all manifestations and vehicles for Creation, and, therefore, "in the soup, together," as the Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung used to quip, hundreds of thousands of walruses in N.W. Alaska are heading toward massively overcrowded beaches, their newborns dying from stampede injury. And, why? We've failed to put love into action, as One Family, declined to take ecological responsibility for our connection in caring for one another when it's uncomfortable. Although this might read as a soapbox for another time, it does give us a current example of what happens when we ignore our relationship to one another.

It's a short slip from that melting ice into unproductive waters. We, like the walrus, are finding our old way-stations for nourishment and comfort disappearing. Until we, like they, find ourselves so world weary from trying to feed our body and soul with what does not work, (quick fixes, personal, local, and international blame games, addiction to excess, poverty consciousness, fear of love's requirement for change and vulnerability, impatience for love's seasons to move faster), I'm afraid to say we'll continue trampling potential newborn life in our race for our piece of the pie. We race because we fear what might happen if we decided to slow down, take a chill pill, a breath and share love abundantly, without any guarantee of return on the investment.

So, how do we 'knock it off?' Where do we turn for instruction? Not far! Enter stage left: autumn. Crossing this theshold to fall, we are offered numerous reflections of Mother Nature's bounty, available to you, for free. Take a peek into Jon Nickman's brilliant capturing of a Greater Love expressing Itself in all Her finery.



Nickman and his crew offer us the gift that comes when "attentional blindness," dissolves, and we begin to 'see' versus 'look at' the blessings in front of our nose. (See last week's post: "Five Steps to Get Your Life Back on Track") Most of the footage from "Echoes of Creation" was captured along the Pacific Coast. But if this is not your neighborhood, let me paint you a picture.

Presently, we're finding the first hints of surround sound Starburst colors! Beyond the door to my back porch, burgundy maple leaves lazily drift down to stones and earth below. In the soft and gentle September breeze, wind chimes sing their song. Change is in the air, signaling transition. Slowly, as if reverantly, nature begins to shed the nonessential. There's a lesson for us, here, for those taking notes. (More on this next week, in part 2 of "The Seasons of Love," where we address the Underground Twin.) Unlike us, Mother Nature wastes no time, 'suffers no fools.' Our human tendency leaves us fighting the inevitable. In the end, nature wins. The sooner we accept this fact, the sooner we find peace. We find prosperity best by collaborating, cooperating, connecting, and co-creating with what's most natural. This is when the party begins.

So, yes, the leisure of summer is over. No wonder the Jewish tradition uses this week to begin their New Year. Autumn is the perfect time to celebrate, to gather gratitude, in the heart of community, to enjoy the fruits of the past year's labor, and share what's in the storehouse. During this period, autumn reminds us to value life as it is, to shed the nonessential, ( old identities and possessions), to make room for Love's Beauty in colorful and tender ways. Clothing the Earth in Her rich, warm pallette, this Master Artist provides a magnifient reflection that we, too, are undergoing radical change. You do want to marvel more, right? Then, I say, let's become more willing students of autumn's teachings this year. Let's decide to be less stingy with ourselves, to create fewer stampede injuries for ourselves and others. Let's practice participating in an intention of Greater Good, for all concerned.

Prescription:

1. Take, as needed, one dose of Autumn, in ways that delight your sense of smell, sight, touch, sound, and taste, at least once a day.

2. Savor each dose.

3. Memorize Moments of Marvel, as Mother Nature makes Her costume change.

4. Record one such moment each day, with date and year.

5. Surrender what needs revision in order to love who you are, as is, without delay.

6. Shed what's withering. You are more than the 'leaves' (old thoughts and ways) you shed.

7. Forgive and bless yourself for past autumns, gone uncherished.

8. Share here, in community, the plentitude you find.

As we progress through Autumn's Season of Plenty, let us do so more consciously than ever before, rediscovering fall as one of four portals to a healthier, more vibrantly loving relationship with life. In this time of election and wars, let's get beyond the blame game, learning to redefine 'the new normal' along more beautiful lines, in harmony with the messages of nature, of which you are a most magnificent representative, when you give yourself half a chance. It all begins with what can happen for your "Underground Twin" through the blessing of Autumn.

"The Seasons of Love" Series, to be continued.

What is your relationship with autumn? How has it shifted? What Marvel Moments have affected you in years past? What's your intention this time? As always, thanks for passing this along to others. 'Tis the season!'

For updates, contact me at carabarker.net, or dr.carabarker@gmail.com To save time, click on Become A Fan. Stay tuned for upcoming developments with The Love Project, including "Practicing Love." Follow Dr. Cara Barker on www.twitter.com/DrCaraBarker.

(Additional resources: See The Transcendence of Biology, Joseph Chilton Pearce, The Intention Experiment, Lynne McTaggart, The Biology of Belief, Bruce Lipton, as well as The Law of Creation, at carabarker.net.)

 

Follow Dr. Cara Barker on Twitter: www.twitter.com/DrCaraBarker

 
 
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07:54 PM on 09/23/2010
Cara, enjoy the glorious silvery night , It is some challange, i could not sit out this morning, duty called, perhaps tomorrow, but we need to make an effort as you say, each and every day...you are a healer and a poet.....
BB
04:35 PM on 09/23/2010
HI Cara,

Happy Autumn to you. I'm more of a Spring and Summer kind of guy. I love playing outdoors and I prefer the weather warm or hot. Autumn signals the end of motorcycle and boat season but it also brings football season. So, Autumn is in my top 3 seasons. Winter is too dark too early in the evenings to be able to enjoy much of the outdoors so I catch up on inside stuff like reading and house mending. So, I guess I need my wintertime. I'll put it in my top 4.

My preferences aside for the moment, I will take time to savor some Autumn each day. I'm kind of big on taking mental snapshots as it is so I'll apply that to memorizing my autumnal moments. Yesterday I sat out back with our new puppy for a while. He bounded and hopped around for a bit then he laid down at my feet. We sat there together for some time just being in the world. It was nice. Its makes me wonder how my viewpoint would be if I didn't have words with which to organize my thoughts. Perhaps without words we'd all be meditating all of the time. Perhaps not.

love,
little brother
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Kari Henley
Make a Wish- now make it bigger.
02:12 PM on 09/22/2010
Well, you picked my favorite season to describe with such glory!
I am very lucky to live in the NorthEast, where the Autumn glory is heart stopping breathtaking it full glory. I always find my heart lifts, my steps skip a beat and I feel optimistic about the future when the temperatures cool, the sky turns bright cobalt and the leaves begin to rustle at my feet. I feel more willing and able to face challenges that lie ahead, prepared to roll up the sleeves, and actually eager to do so after the humid haze of summer.
Happy Equinox to you!
Remember.... balance is overrate! :)
Kari
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
06:43 PM on 09/22/2010
Dear Kari,

I am homesick from your description! Originally from the East Coast, there's something so glorious about the way it changes its dress to October.

There's also something about that 'back to school' time in the psyche that pulls and tugs this time of year.

Too bad you're not next door so we could do a bit of leaf stomping. Nothing like it at Equinox.

Much love,
Cara
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01:51 PM on 09/22/2010
You're so right again. I found love in autumn. Well, not THIS autumn. But that's ok, since I'm already IN love.
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
06:45 PM on 09/22/2010
Oh, Diogenes, do say more! Double dog dare you.........tell me of this love! I'm listening, as always, to you, with love,

Cara
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07:30 PM on 09/22/2010
Well, I found her last autumn. You wanna know ... even more? :-)

She's my rose garden, and the birds in it. She's the song that taught me that I was all score. Waiting to be sung by her.

She's my pleroma. Setting in motion words and notions even as time awaits its beginning.

So... all in all... I don't really think that we're anywhere near winter yet. More like, checking out what marvels are yet in store...
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12:47 PM on 09/22/2010
"It is a little embarrassing that, after forty-five years of research and study, the best advice I can give to people is to be a little kinder to each other. "
Aldous Huxley
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01:30 PM on 09/22/2010
He's being too modest. Maybe that piece of advice is the only pill you can take with absolutely no side effects.
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02:11 PM on 09/22/2010
...and I was going to reply to you and instead I replyed to myself....
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
06:52 PM on 09/22/2010
Frankly, I love A.H.'s modesty! It's something rare these days in the Steeple Chase. Refreshing. So are you,

Cara
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01:38 PM on 09/22/2010
I don`t know about that, but that`s the most important lesson anyone can give...just look at the crazy world we are living in right now...
BB
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03:05 PM on 09/22/2010
I certainly agree. Also, you're right that it's not always guaranteed that there will be no side effects. Try explaining peace to the hotheads in the middle east. Could be a tough one. They didn't even believe it when Jesus said it, you know...
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
06:53 PM on 09/22/2010
Amen, Sistah!
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Arithrianos
reality has already (w)on(e), surrender!
12:32 PM on 09/22/2010
fall is the time for rewards, for seeding out of the old growth and celebrating the work done in summer, it is the harvest time where death of the old becomes the possability of new life birthed through the barrenness of winter. richness and plentitude indeed for the warriors of autumn, but also there is rot to be honored, the death and decay that nourishes and opens spaces for all that is new, both are same, one season cycle as sung. the point of everything as always is flow, becoming,evolving and changing, and fall really does show that off the best. here in texas fall has a different vibe, some years it stays hot til thanksgiving or so, and the trees all seem to lose leaves at different times, but if you open up the changes are still there, just more subtle sometimes. plant cultivate harvest rest plant, ect, ect, works for nature works for me, it just works, long live the wheel of life.
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
06:58 PM on 09/22/2010
Long live it and long live you! When I lived in the S.W., it taught me a whole different way to 'see' autumn. Beautiful. Different. Superb , and all connected.

Yes, Arithrianos, let's hear it for the rot, too. For me, this is part of the earthiness, the blessed decay that becomes the compost for what will come when the time is right. What a rehersal party for our own process.

May miracles find you beneath the full moon. Last night, Mother Moon illuminated every window in our bedroom, just amazing. Beautiful silver Light in the Darkness. How apt.

Did you see it?

Love,
Cara
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Arithrianos
reality has already (w)on(e), surrender!
12:26 PM on 09/23/2010
i always see the Light of Darkness, at one time it made it hard to sleep, the light would keep me awake, not anymore though, i accept it now. as for the moon, my apartmnent has artificial lights on all night, so not much on the moonlight, but the inner light is constant. if you fon't know what i am talking about try going into a dark place blindfolded and see what light is there, it is s soft and univasive light, it dosn't stop the darkness, it just softens the edge, it blends instead of edges. may all beings see the light that is darkness and therefore see the nonduality that is reality beyond concept.
10:44 AM on 09/22/2010
This column dispenses the perfect dose of serenity to mark the transition of seasons. I am a September baby, and, as such, have a natural affinity for seeing the change of season as a time of great promise. The air is lighter and the Nature's colors are festive. I will follow the prescription to make this year the best to date. Thank you so much, Dr. Baker!
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
11:04 AM on 09/22/2010
You are so welcome, Mayra. I'm delighted that you found this useful. If so, there's more to come. Make sure you click the 'fan' button, to make the updates easy.

Most important, my dear, happy birthday. May this new year if your life bring reminders every day to your door of how valued, cherished, and loved you are. May the blessings 'blow your socks off!'

I'm so glad to see you here!

Peace and joy your way,
Dr. Cara Barker
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
11:06 AM on 09/22/2010
By the way, Mayra, what is your birthday wish? If time and money were not factors, what would you most delight in receiving? creating? celebrating? Where do you want to be in your life by your next birthday? Listen to your heart. Let me know. I'm listening!

Cara
10:15 AM on 09/22/2010
So true Dr. Baker.

Yesterday, I left the shopping mall, panicked and sweaty. I went looking for new clothes and I realized that what I truly wanted was not tangible, could not be earned or bought at any price and was not available in any mall or store. It can only be given and received....and its LOVE.
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ruchild
10:24 AM on 09/22/2010
Bless you! Congratulations on realizing the hole you were seeking to fill was not the lack of clothes, but the lack of something else! You are on the first step to being the person you desire the most by this fairly simple step, listening to yourself. I am so truly happy for you!
10:38 AM on 09/22/2010
I guess I should mention that I went home and ate an entire sara lee cheesecake that was still partially frozen..... yeech.....
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
11:15 AM on 09/22/2010
What a marvelous habit it is to 'catch someone in the habit' of doing something wise and beautiful. You are a blessing, ruchild. Everyone needs encouragement. You just never know. All I know is that I adore you.

Cara
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ruchild
10:04 AM on 09/22/2010
I am going to quote myself from a response to your previous article: The thing we forget in life is that we are here to support each other and lift each other up through our journey of life, it is NOT a race to be everyone else to the finish line, it is a journey and each and every person, place or thing we cross is our companions on this journey. It is how you take what happens and uses it which will determine how you travel in life, light and happy or dark and heavy. Knowing what to pack and take and what to leave behind is key to life as well as love. Acceptance and forgiveness are also key, but the one person people tend to forget to forgive stares at them in the face each and every morning and night, themselves. Start with you, the rest falls into place, the old adage of self-love is not narcissism, it is knowing thyself and being true to that truth of who you essentially are. When you achieve that love, the rest falls into place like a miracle, truly. Peace, love and happiness to you all.
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Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
11:28 AM on 09/22/2010
Dear ruchild,

What treasure you are. Some messages bear repeating. Yours is a gem. In fact, I just phoned a good friend, whose birthday is today, to share your writing. She is blind, and lacks a computer. You made her day, as has your interchange with our friend here.

In fact, your message is truly a message of this Equinox. The trees practice it every year in their own way, so naturally.

By the way, I just love it that you are quoting your own Wisdom. Too seldom do we turn in this direction for ourselves, and it gets the world in a heap of trouble.

I'd love to know what's front and center in your life since you wrote?

Know that my heart is with you, as are my ears,
Cara
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ruchild
05:53 PM on 09/23/2010
Currently, am focusing on maintaining the gains of the last year and a 1/2. Remembering my limitations and learning (still) to ask for assistance and realizing because I need it, it does not mean I am less for the asking, but am more for the seeking. Being self-sufficient, this has been the hardest lesson of all, having done it all for myself since being a small child. So the continued discovery of things is like leaves dropping from the trees, as I reimagine myself in my life, like fall, like the coming spring, seasons are like that, as are the new things we learn in life, it is all a matter of perspective, no?