iOS app Android app More

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors
Dr. Cara Barker

GET UPDATES FROM Dr. Cara Barker
 

An Equinox Prescription for Love, This Autumn

Posted: 09/22/10 10:00 AM ET

Love has its seasons, as does nature, for one is the extension and expression of the other. Although around the world, love's associated with spring, the truth is that spring never comes without what precedes it. Likewise, love never comes without a healthy relationship to preparing the way. Granted, Love's autumn and winter might seem less sexy, than St. Valentine's arrow, but they are necessary parts of the cycle for the Eternal Return of new life.

The Question of this Equinox. Where are you in the 'loving yourself' department? How generous are you being? What possibilites are you holding for yourself, and the rest of us? I hope you are not being stingy, which is the antithesis of an autumnal attitude. Regardless how much self-help rah, rah, rah is out there, when we hit the slippery slope of self-condemnation, we forget magnificence in ourselves and others. One of the saddest repeating complaints I hear from women, (often regarded as highly successful in both domestic and international business worlds) is the refrain: "Why can't I 'get' a good man? There are no good men left!" (Think unresolved papa problems.) From men, who've not been ready for autumn love to touch them, the chief complaint goes something like this: "No matter what I do, it's never good enough for her." (Think unresolved mother issues.)

The Underlying Problem. Gender and complexes aside, the unifying problem, here, is poverty consciousness. This attitude flies in the face of what fall symbolizes: 'plentitude'. (Michael Beckwith, I thank you for this word!) Ah, 'plentitude'. What we believe to be so becomes our experience. As findings in neuroscience attest, there's more than strong evidence that the old adage 'what you think about, you bring about,' turns out to be so. If I'm convinced that love will never find me, guess what? I'll be right. Whatever order you place at 'Love Store Central,' sets in motion what UPS (Universal Producing System) delivers. This is no 'woo woo 'psychobabble, but science. (For more on this, find resources below.)

Nature Doesn't Lie. Meanwhile, just ask the walruses. Nature doesn't lie, reflecting back our relationship to it. Do a slip-shod job in off-shore wells, and you end up with devasting spills. Send men down into unsecured mines, and you end up with incarcerated lives. Ignore the warnings about global warming, and you threaten the species. Because the human race has not (yet) embraced the reality that we are all manifestations and vehicles for Creation, and, therefore, "in the soup, together," as the Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung used to quip, hundreds of thousands of walruses in N.W. Alaska are heading toward massively overcrowded beaches, their newborns dying from stampede injury. And, why? We've failed to put love into action, as One Family, declined to take ecological responsibility for our connection in caring for one another when it's uncomfortable. Although this might read as a soapbox for another time, it does give us a current example of what happens when we ignore our relationship to one another.

It's a short slip from that melting ice into unproductive waters. We, like the walrus, are finding our old way-stations for nourishment and comfort disappearing. Until we, like they, find ourselves so world weary from trying to feed our body and soul with what does not work, (quick fixes, personal, local, and international blame games, addiction to excess, poverty consciousness, fear of love's requirement for change and vulnerability, impatience for love's seasons to move faster), I'm afraid to say we'll continue trampling potential newborn life in our race for our piece of the pie. We race because we fear what might happen if we decided to slow down, take a chill pill, a breath and share love abundantly, without any guarantee of return on the investment.

So, how do we 'knock it off?' Where do we turn for instruction? Not far! Enter stage left: autumn. Crossing this theshold to fall, we are offered numerous reflections of Mother Nature's bounty, available to you, for free. Take a peek into Jon Nickman's brilliant capturing of a Greater Love expressing Itself in all Her finery.



Nickman and his crew offer us the gift that comes when "attentional blindness," dissolves, and we begin to 'see' versus 'look at' the blessings in front of our nose. (See last week's post: "Five Steps to Get Your Life Back on Track") Most of the footage from "Echoes of Creation" was captured along the Pacific Coast. But if this is not your neighborhood, let me paint you a picture.

Presently, we're finding the first hints of surround sound Starburst colors! Beyond the door to my back porch, burgundy maple leaves lazily drift down to stones and earth below. In the soft and gentle September breeze, wind chimes sing their song. Change is in the air, signaling transition. Slowly, as if reverantly, nature begins to shed the nonessential. There's a lesson for us, here, for those taking notes. (More on this next week, in part 2 of "The Seasons of Love," where we address the Underground Twin.) Unlike us, Mother Nature wastes no time, 'suffers no fools.' Our human tendency leaves us fighting the inevitable. In the end, nature wins. The sooner we accept this fact, the sooner we find peace. We find prosperity best by collaborating, cooperating, connecting, and co-creating with what's most natural. This is when the party begins.

So, yes, the leisure of summer is over. No wonder the Jewish tradition uses this week to begin their New Year. Autumn is the perfect time to celebrate, to gather gratitude, in the heart of community, to enjoy the fruits of the past year's labor, and share what's in the storehouse. During this period, autumn reminds us to value life as it is, to shed the nonessential, ( old identities and possessions), to make room for Love's Beauty in colorful and tender ways. Clothing the Earth in Her rich, warm pallette, this Master Artist provides a magnifient reflection that we, too, are undergoing radical change. You do want to marvel more, right? Then, I say, let's become more willing students of autumn's teachings this year. Let's decide to be less stingy with ourselves, to create fewer stampede injuries for ourselves and others. Let's practice participating in an intention of Greater Good, for all concerned.

Prescription:

1. Take, as needed, one dose of Autumn, in ways that delight your sense of smell, sight, touch, sound, and taste, at least once a day.

2. Savor each dose.

3. Memorize Moments of Marvel, as Mother Nature makes Her costume change.

4. Record one such moment each day, with date and year.

5. Surrender what needs revision in order to love who you are, as is, without delay.

6. Shed what's withering. You are more than the 'leaves' (old thoughts and ways) you shed.

7. Forgive and bless yourself for past autumns, gone uncherished.

8. Share here, in community, the plentitude you find.

As we progress through Autumn's Season of Plenty, let us do so more consciously than ever before, rediscovering fall as one of four portals to a healthier, more vibrantly loving relationship with life. In this time of election and wars, let's get beyond the blame game, learning to redefine 'the new normal' along more beautiful lines, in harmony with the messages of nature, of which you are a most magnificent representative, when you give yourself half a chance. It all begins with what can happen for your "Underground Twin" through the blessing of Autumn.

"The Seasons of Love" Series, to be continued.

What is your relationship with autumn? How has it shifted? What Marvel Moments have affected you in years past? What's your intention this time? As always, thanks for passing this along to others. 'Tis the season!'

For updates, contact me at carabarker.net, or dr.carabarker@gmail.com To save time, click on Become A Fan. Stay tuned for upcoming developments with The Love Project, including "Practicing Love." Follow Dr. Cara Barker on www.twitter.com/DrCaraBarker.

(Additional resources: See The Transcendence of Biology, Joseph Chilton Pearce, The Intention Experiment, Lynne McTaggart, The Biology of Belief, Bruce Lipton, as well as The Law of Creation, at carabarker.net.)

 

Follow Dr. Cara Barker on Twitter: www.twitter.com/DrCaraBarker