Four hours after President Obama's Inaugural speech, I was reminded his finger on our pulse is accurate, indeed! Back in the trenches of my consulting room, people shared signs of the present crisis in very human, real, immediate terms. Here are just the first three situations: 1) an extraordinarily skilled, talented 43-year-old woman, is told at 9am that she must take a 50% pay-cut to maintain her spot in the firm. 2) a 41-year-old man shares concern for his 71-year-old widowed mother, who's lost nearly half of her retirement. With his workplace downsizing, he is clueless about how to pay the bills, including medical. 3) Next, a 39-year-old man fears his team will lose their jobs. If this happens, his wife and he will lose his visa, their new home, and the promise of a better life in America. He's scared that he will be unable to adequately support his 3 children under five, his wife, and their 4 aging parents overseas. Three days later, he loses his job, and phones. I ask him where he intends to focus. His answer's swift: "If Obama can become President of the United States, then I, too, can choose hope over fear."
Cleaning House. By the end of Inaugural Week, the Parable of the Lost Coin is replaying in my head, nonstop. If you do not know it, a woman loses one of her ten coins. Distraught, she lights a lamp, sweeps her entire home, searching. She recovers the coin and hope. Not unlike our own situation. As a people, we've 'lost' our 'coin.' Like the woman, we must metaphorically light the lamp of consciousness together, and do some major housecleaning.
Of course, to locate what's lost, we've got to notice what's missing. Our President advises: "...to set aside childish things..." So, what things is it time to put aside? What forms of limited thinking have gotten us into trouble? What terrifies us most is the space that would open up if we stopped stuffing it with our preferred loot. Because in the empty space would be more than a few unresolved feelings around our relation with uncertainty of the Unknown and Unknowable.
Here's a hint. What causes the woman to lose what she values is loss of focus. Where have we lost our own? When we've overspent on what we want, but do not need, we lose our focus. Unwilling to let go the nonessential, we lose what is crucial. The question is: how can we become better stewards of what we have been given? What must we sacrifice?
The Required Sacrifice: Awakening Our Better Selves. The reference to 'putting away childish things" is a stern warning about the necessity of sacrifice. But let's be real: who wants to give up what we want when it is much easier to buy now, pay later! Certainly not the big shots on Wall Street: those guys who are more than happy to write a check from the taxpayer's bailout for $50 Million executive jets, and $1Million office makeovers, rug included. This is not difficult to spot: there are many willing Bernie 'Made-Off's out there. The difficult thing is to look at how this plays out in us.
Our ways leading to the 'lost coin' can be blatant, or subtle. It might be tempting to hang onto childhood's magical thinking. Wouldn't it be grand if Obama could waive a magic wand, leaving us to escape the mess and pain that's at our heels? Regrettably, transformation does not give free passes. Before our lives can be renewed, the piper insists on being paid. The answer is not escaping the necessary sacrifices we will be asked to make, but by reframing how we see them.
History tells us that, when faced with war, many of our ancestors held their sacrifice as their finest moment. They decided to risk their lives in the name of something greater: Eternal Truth. More often than not, parents gave up personal comfort and immediate gratifications so that the lives of their children, and grandchildren might be improved. Such a decision re-galvanizes the human Spirit, making it unstoppable. Reconnecting with what holds deepest value in your heart, taking concrete steps in the direction of your most heartfelt longing is the stuff from which new doors open. Spring always follows winter. Said Joseph Campbell: "What's so sad about that?...The realization of your bliss, your true being, comes when you have put aside what might be called the passing moment, with its terror and with its temptations and its statement of requirements of life that you should live this way....Don't be afraid to follow your bliss and doors will open where you didn't know they were going to be..." Before bliss, however, the sacrifice of awakening to the fact that regardless what we face, we have choice in how we wish to respond. It helps to trust the process.
Over the next weeks, I will be developing this theme of Our Awakening. In fact, I can't wait to share with you the good news I am discovering through interviews with an awakening America. But first, let us hear from you. What do you believe has gotten lost that must be recovered? What housecleaning is needed? What are you willing to sacrifice? What are the stories of sacrifice in your own family that touch you? What new door would you most like to open for you? For others?
Follow Dr. Cara Barker on Twitter: www.twitter.com/DrCaraBarker
the old frame of the mind set has finally been smashed. Now it is critical that what is replaced is not double morality, patriotic,nationalistic nonsense and feel good for a while pride.
It was wonderful color change in the whitemans' house and the new breath and scope of awareness certainly has been begun with the right intentions, the closing of cruelty cells. prisons.
The 'feel good' in this case, needs to channel itself into long term dedication, hard work, paring down to the sacrifices we each must make. But, at least the opportunity is there for those willing to play on the team, huh?
Many thanks your way for your contribution. Your perspective is a real contribution.
All the best,
Cara
And, thanks for the birthday greeting. Your words were the best gift, ever!
Blessings and Sisterhood,
Cara
I have to say I am inspired watching my own children respond to the "tightening of the belt". Having less, talking about not having money and doing without seems to inspire empathy and a desire to simply get creative. They have hope intrinsically.
My sweet 5 year old son, after hearing my husband huff and puff about spending thousands to repair the car sat quietly for awhile. Later that night he said, "Mommy, since we have no money... you should just call 'Good Ole Tom.' I saw him on tv in his store and he said to, "bring your broken jewelry to good ole' tom" and he'll give us money. Mom. That's all you have to do." Hope over fear. Thanks again
You have taken me back many years to when my own son and daughter were five. I shall always cherish the special moments, with their editorial comments. They changed my life.
Please stay tuned. You are such a gift.
Love,
Cara
We have become a Country of the head with mistrust and cynicism. Human dignity has gone down the drain and ordinary people have lost faith, especially in the political arena and are suspicious of everything that has to do with moving ahead and good will.
Thanks to Obama coming in at the right time, I believe there is HOPE--
Joyfully,
Ed
In peace and gratitude,
Cara
Cara
I think this is key.
It IS the core of choosing hope over fear. And it's far from being prep talk. It requires to make sure that this long-term goal is reasonable. That's the task. And since nobody can make the crisis disappear with a magical spell, it is precisely the only thing that can provide relief. It's not magic, it's how markets work: stabilize future expectations, so that you can reasonably make decisions in the here and now. It's not easy, but it can be done and it must be done.
I believe that the fruits of this labor will be more than worth it.
Please know that I'd love to hear much more from you. You say so much worth hearing.
Blessings,
Cara
I did not grow up in a black home, so I appreciate your own story. In fact, I'd love to hear more. But I did grow up in a home where my sister and I sometimes were taken to the A.M.E. church where the two of us were the only ones there who were not people 'of color.' I can tell you that the way we were received was lovely. Every person let us know that we were welcome. When I have felt welcomed in my life, I have always felt hope, and known it more deeply. Our parents didn't talk much about hope, but what they did do was give us endless demonstrations of 'if it's to be it's up to me.' They did not use that language, back then, but they contributed endless time and energy to make a difference in our community.
Your parents must be very, very proud of you. You shine.
Blessings,
Cara
This is, however, not the only side of America. My own people came to this country with gratitude, and nothing less, in their pockets. Escaping unspeakable conditions of poverty, and the czar, as well, they came to this land with a willingness to work hard, love sincerely, and 'pay it forward' to the others that had paved the way. I know that my people were not alone. Many, many Americans come from such circumstances, and have labored long to make this a better country.
Let's not through 'out the baby with the bath.' You have strong conviction. My hope is that you will put it into constructive service, as no doubt, you are already engaged. May we hear from you on what you personally are doing to be a source of inspiration to so many living in terrible fear today? We need your help.
Blessings,
Dr. Cara
From first read, however, it sounds like there is a 'cup half empty' thing going on, here. I do agree that the pendulum always swings back. In the meantime, what can we do to live in less aggressive ways, and with more emotional maturity? What do you believe you can do, so that the dismal outcome you are predicting can shift? I know this is hard to trust with a background of disappointments. Perhaps mistrust is something we all would do well to sacrifice, if we want to invent a better world for our children, and our children's children.
Blessings,
Dr. Cara
Seriously though, I'm afraid the damage which selfishness has wreaked upon us runs deeper than most would readily admit. It's in the way we welcome our newborns into this world, in the way we disenfranchise the poorest members of our society, generally in the way we treat the weaker and the weakest.
Think Matrix: People are so entrenched in their unsustainable lifestyles, so hooked on the unaffordable luxuries we enjoy as individuals and, to a far lesser extent, as a society that they will fight to keep them in place at any cost for life's dignity and the environment. Ask the masses who listen to Limbaugh spewing his message of hate.
Don't get me wrong: I too am inspired (albeit very cautiously so) by the spirit of change. But let's not forget that this came only after the eight most horrible years of the past horrible *decades* of bad federal and local government. If that Caligula W. Bush is what it takes for us to finally turn around and ask "what the heck have we been doing all this time", that doesn't actually inspire great hope, does it?
Cara
Absolutely brilliant article - it made my heart sing. I love to hear about real stories "from the trenches" because they remind me how we really have something to work for on behalf of the people like htose you get to see and of course, so many others like them.
Clearing out the deadwood - when I get to dong it - I always find very liberating and re-energizing. Awakening is a theme with which I resonate very much so I look forward to your future posts on the subject.
Thank you for the lovely meaty article!
With love and appreciation,
Anne
If truth be told, these people make my heart sing, too. As does paring down to the basices of what really matters. The next article is 'in the mill', so its good to know that you are anticipating it.
Anything you'd like me to cover in particular?
Love,
Cara
Awakening? How we can awaken into greater awareness of the spirit within us. How we can awaken to more love in our lives, within and around us. How we can awaken to more of the goodness in difficult circumstances. How we can we more effective in communicating our sense of awakening to those who may be suffering "in sleep". The beauties of awakening that follow sacrifice. More about awakening and transformation. These are just a few thoughts that come to my mind.
I am really interested to hear more about how you view awakening!
With love,
Anne
We've done it again! People must think we sit down together to write our blogs, our themes so often mesh. This time is no exception.
Your beautifully written piece calls us to discover what we've lost and what we're willing to sacrifice to get our country back. In my blog today, I've linked to a video of people singing about just that. Everyday people, just like the ones you're seeing, whose lives are being pared down and who are finding strength and courage in the darkest of times. This is who we are.
I agree that we are seeing the awakening of something you and I and others here have been working for for decades. The Age of Transformation and the awakening of the human spirit has arrived.
Thanks for this great post. Your writing always delivers, you're the best!
Love,
Judith
I am impressed and moved beyond words at the strength and courage I witness daily as those around us move forward through these dark times. And yet, the Light is always brightest in the contrast.
What a joy to walk down this hallway together.
Love,
Cara
But part of my emotion at the inauguration was sadness that some dear friends and family missed it. My husband Jim, who died about 2 years ago, would have been so delighted. I guess I just have to be delighted on his behalf.
May I say that I miss him with you?
Blessings and appreciation,
Cara
Ruth, I did write another piece to you, but am not seeing it come 'up' yet. I'll check later, and if it is a 'no-show,' I'll begin anew!
Thinking of you and Jim,
Cara
http://www.uulyrics.com/music/sonny-landreth/song-let-it-fly/
Video isn't my favorite, but can't quit listening to this song or the entire album.
I was neither familiar with this artist, nor his music. Your offering has opened my eyes and my heart. Thank you many times over.
By the way, anyone who knows me, also knows that I am anything but a computer whiz. In fact, I still live in the Dark Ages when it comes to IT. Please know that I more than welcome any offerings that you may send. I only hope the readers will take the time to receive your gift.
What freedom would you like to experience most? Let me know!
Cara
You are most welcome. The music of Sonny Landreth is but one of many sweet Louisiana secrets we've kept to ourselves for probably far too long. It's the kind of thing that keeps us going, keeps us wanting to come home to Louisiana despite the many challenges. Glad to share with you.
As for what freedom I personally would like more of? Freedom to overcome self-doubt and fear of failure. Experiencing the beauty of the change in political winds and particularly last week's inauguration is a great help, isn't it?
So the deeper question, here, is what do we have to 'give up' in order to make being alive on Earth a sacred experience?
And thanks to you as well, Cara. Another superb post and reminder that focusing on what truly matters is what matters most.
Blessings to you!
I'd love to hear more from you, and know I am not alone. Your comment reveals a deep Wisdom. I capitalize the latter, because the message of your words, seems very Sophia in nature. So often we get caught in the 'same old, same old,' daily grind, that the importance of consecrated acts, are vital to coming alive. How often, while making a meal, do we stop to appreciate all that has gone into the meal? Endless opportunities to make sacred the exchange of love.
Many thanks,
Cara
Much appreciation for taking the time to read and reply. I know how busy we all are these days.
Cara