In loving memory of Janette Dean, who was a feel-good factor indeed.
Where were you when you heard the news? If the message was big enough, you remember, as do your cells. Who doesn't remember their whereabouts on Sept. 11, 2001, or on the days when John F. Kennedy, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert Kennedy were assassinated? If you've got enough tread on your tires, you might also recall the day Pearl Harbor was attacked, or the day Franklin D. Roosevelt died.
Politics aside, we also have cellular memory for breakthrough moments, such as the day the first African-American president was elected, and now the take-down of Osama bin Laden on the anniversary of Hitler's death. In little more than 48 hours after an estimated 2 to 3 billion people watched the royal wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton, attention was whiplashed in a completely different direction. In both cases, in some places, there was spontaneous dancing in the streets. Although these displays represented completely different forms of joy, the feel-good factor was well at work in our psyche in both.
This is no small matter. In a world riddled with uncertainty, we welcome moments of celebration, delighting in the levity they bring. Witness the reaction of so many upon hearing the way little brother Prince Harry addressed his "big bro" William as "His Royal Dudeness," or the way "His Dudeness" introduced Kate, now the Duchess of Cambridge, as "Mrs. Wales." In our endless penchant for what I have coined "terminal seriousity," we gravitate toward what stirs the pot of fear, casting aside what we need to help us heal from unspeakable suffering. The fact is that we need the feel-good factor to create sustainability for our deepest and best selves. We settle for the story on the surface and forget the story beneath the story that brings not only redemption but well-being.
The fact is that we are connected through something bigger than we recall in our day-to-day foraging in the jungle of fear and trepidation over the future. Without the wherewithal to predict tomorrow, we too often gravitate toward letting our anxiety get the better of us, falling into the trap of believing that we are separate from one another, separate from the creative power of our thoughts and separate from the possibility of living more joyful and wholehearted lives. We forget this at our peril.
Then moments come along that jog our memory and enliven our spirit. These are the birthing moments, the breakthrough moments when we remember who we are, casting off the distorted belief that we are separate from one another, separate from the life force itself, which courses through your veins this very moment, having nothing to do with your "deservingness." Like those brave Lilies of the Valley that reappear each year, pressing through beds of rock and pebbles, new beginnings push to express themselves through you and me, each and every time we slow down the train of our thoughts and have sufficient courage to receive the gift of Now.
Allowing yourself to lay aside any tendency toward the cynical, whenever you intentionally jump into the pool of the feel-good factor, it serves you well. Sure, we all heard people say (and maybe heard ourselves say), in faux sophistication, that royal weddings are not for us, going on about disinterest in the wedding gown, the ceremony, the hats, blah, blah, blah. Likewise, the media were more than willing to say that the fascination was "all about the dress," or the unexpected convertible ride in a snazzy sports car, or the speculation about the next in line, be it Pippa or Harry, and future plans. However, if we can lay all this aside, let us not fail to notice that there is a story beneath the story, which has to do with that urge within the human spirit to rekindle the flames of hope in the human heart, so long, and too often, mired in overwhelming, 360-degree anxiety about tomorrow. The feel-good factor is a necessity if we are to go on, if we are to envision a better way of belonging to this world, a more meaningful way of moving forward, less crippled by a state of chronic anxiety and paralysis by analysis of the imponderables.
Every time we reengage in trauma, discouragement and disappointment, it is as if we make a withdrawal from our life energy account. Each time we feel good, we deposit energy into a "reserve account." Whenever you pause to savor joy in the moment, surrendering the ego's need to posture and pretend, liberation comes anew. When you courageously allow yourself to get lost in the simple and even microscopic beauty in front of your nose, life becomes more worth living. This becomes your "safety deposit box" for what comes down the road that will require more of you: that knock on the door or that phone call in the middle of the night that you do not expect but which will take your breath away, with celebration or sorrow. Either way, now is the time, the only time, to step outside whatever's been chasing you, to press the pause button and to remember that right here, right now, you are free to simply be.
A secret gift: many years ago, when I was very young, something happened that transformed my life. It was a bright Sunday morning in October. I was on a walk back home after an overnight with my best friend when, for no particular reason that I could discern, some unexplainable force stopped me in my tracks. That "something" urged me to stop, sit down and memorize the moment. I did. I shall never forget the azure, clear blue sky overhead, the robins chirping en route to nearby chestnut trees whose leaves sparkled in the sun, shimmering gold, crimson and Hunter green. The air was clear, clean and crisp. In the stillness, I heard my heart speak silently: "Memorize the moment. This is necessary for what's ahead." This has been my practice for over 50 years. I gift this secret to you, the willing. The gratitude that grows from this practice becomes an informant for peace when you find yourself caught in unanticipated turbulent waters ahead. (For more on this, see the upcoming "The Feel Good Factor," in press.)
Your turn: What feel-good moments do you remember? How has the feel-good factor served you or others you know? I'm listening, and I'm learning from you, my teachers.
For more, see carabarker.net. For updates, contact me at carabarker.net or dr.carabarker@gmail. To receive email notices when I post new blogs on The Huffington Post, click "Fan" at the top of this page. Stay tuned for upcoming developments with The Love Project, including "Practicing Love." Follow me on Twitter at www.twitter.com/DrCaraBarker.
I will return May 18 with a fresh collection of moments.
Follow Dr. Cara Barker on Twitter: www.twitter.com/DrCaraBarker
MeiMei Fox: The Life Out Loud: Learning to Revel in Your Sorrows
So now is the feel good moment for me, I will now leave and read the wonderful writings of Lawson and other brilliant writers. Much Love....Gypsy
I just got back and found you here, after quite the tap dance with my computer. At least it allowed me to find you. How I love what you said here about the love letters here. My dear, little do you know, or, how well you know, what is going on here that I have not been ready to mention. Hold the very phrase in your prayers/meditation, won't you?
See you Wednesday, but, know that I send you love and gratitude this moment, and each to follow,
Cara
I have just returned from my trip to the Gulf Coast - and repeated attempts at watching the next-to-last shuttle launch, now scheduled for next Monday.
I have a lot of news I feel sure you want to hear, but would like to know you're still reading comments from this article before I write!
Love,
still-lion-hearted Richard
We'll get our chance sometime soon, I presume.
I also noticed that I still have a full bio that I set years ago when I first created an account here - but so far as I can tell, they removed the interface that people use to see it - silently - some few years ago. (I had thought it was gone!)
I just got back, also, and happened to find you here, after quite the tap dance with my computer. I'd love to hear what you have to report. The best would be if you wrote in on Wednesday, as I won't be coming back to this blog, with deadlines, and all.
Meanwhile, oodles of love your way,
Cara
Lookin' fwd to your next article...
Perhaps you could invite Hufpo readers to share in this state and their personal experiences of it—just a telling of stories. The hope would be that this is equivalent to building a smoky fire by those lost in the forrest, to attract 'planes' from above.
In Watts' diagram, the month of Easter is the lowest point of the circle, ‘mud’, before rising—one must find this ‘door’ below, as Dante did, to ‘exit’ h*//.
If the road goes across a ford, this is the second ‘gap’ in the octave where the bulldozer pushes or pulls (p. 106, Let Go, Benoit)--a non-worldly ‘miracle’ helps out. This is the switch from pushing up from below to ‘leading’ using DISCRIMINATION (‘choosing’, another of your words; Key 6) from our own future, from the 'lived, completed picture.
—a group, linked in Seph 6, signals for and invites the downflow of new concepts that change the course of failing humanity from inside.
For all that you are so splendidly, I send you my appreciation and praise,
Cara
This agrees with your advice to just ‘live’ the experience of life, letting this deeper consciousness just ‘work’, without the necessity of (mis)directing it with the ego.
Much of what you write seems to follow Jung’s concept of gnosis and Gnostic thought.
You also used the word ‘portal’, and I referred to a ‘rabbit hole’, but this is only simile, how it is ‘like’ something. If anything, it is a dissolving of the protective shield to allow something to enter or to merge with. The beginning human has only the convergent will ‘inside’ while keeping outside the divergent- or ‘non will to experience’. Your description is your awareness of both states as having a common center, life = de*th. In meditation, this ‘portal’ is found as (similar to) the space between two breaths. In dreaming, it is the ‘gap’ where one watches or ‘stops’ the dream. In the swinging of the pendulum, this is the instant of the bottom of the arc. (contnued)
How do we all on Hufpo, JudithR's dream, share consciousness (and 'conscience' = will to choose = 3rd world?
Cara
As for the sharing of it, this is a matter of great discernment, and I have made my own share of mistakes. My experience is that it is shared best through how we live, as a sort of transmission. We are enjoined to 'go forth,' which is to grow and live it, not to stay forever in lotus world.
The Feminine does benefit, however, from cultivating discernment, (healthy masculine), and this seems to take at least a lifetime. The tendency, too often, is to meddle. Knowing when and how to draw the line is quite the feat, but a worthy one, indeed."
Discernment, (cultivating the healthy masculine) is a necessary task for the Feminine, for the Feminine's proclivity, if left unchallenged, would be forever to luxuriate in the humis, the soil. In these times, however, Big Mama is making Her return, be we ready or not!
Her Love to you, through you,
Cara
"My experience is that 'being' and the sharing of peace can really only be done by LIVING it. There is nothing to do, and nothing to undo. It is all in the 'sitting,' the being, the entering, the breathing, the embracing what comes, without cleaving to what comes, or resisting it.
DISSOLVING is quite the experience, quite the embrace of All that is [the 'sphere' of Nothingness = the All surrounds and interweaves with the 'island' of the physical]. What I do know is that whenever I 'try' this diverts energy from the moment, and simply creates blockage, as does striving. It is a continuing [ONGOING] process, and one that has my attention each day. Perhaps the saving grace for me is that I am in love with 'beginners mind.' (continued)
Sunshine your way,
Cara
Now a great musical moment. This was back in the days when piano was my instrument, almost a quarter of a century ago. One evening I sat down with my Scribner collections of Beethoven's sonatas, just for fun. I decided to try my hand on the Waldstein Sonata in C major, Op. 53 #1. Now, while my degree may have been in piano, this one was WAY beyond me normally. And sight-reading has never been my greatest strength. But that night, I was playing "above myself." I don't think I've ever really matched that, even though I've played many other pieces better. But to have reached beyond my grasp so far, and yet to have *grasped* what I reached for... there is nothing like it. I won't pretend it was mistake-free, or at concert tempo. But it was recognizably, palpably the *Waldstein.* I got done and just sat there shaking, and knowing I would always remember that moment.
One reason I have always wanted others to be able to make music, or write, or dance, or some other creative art, is that there is no greater high in this WORLD than being able to move yourself to tears through the product of your own hands! Doesn't happen often, but I've been blessed, and have done it through music and writing. (Debussy's "La cathédrale engloutie" almost always did it, when I performed it half-way decently.)
May others have such moments!
I almost genuflect every time I say Horowitz's name. Among the blessings of the modern age are decent recordings -- now the genius of a Horowitz can live as long as Beethoven's genius has! If only we could hear *him* playing. Or Bach. Or Chopin. Or...
Going away, now. With goosebumps.
You wrote: "One reason I have always wanted others to be able to make music, or write, or dance, or some other creative art, is that there is no greater high in this WORLD than being able to move yourself to tears through the product of your own hands!"
I certainly agree, but would add that a potentially equal, and for some, comparatively greater "high" is to see others moved "to tears through the product of your own hands!" or simply basking in the glow of appreciation of your efforts, talent, creativity, and emotion.
I saw an interview a few years ago of a singer/songwriter who said the most emotionally fulfilling moment on stage so far was when he realized the entire stadium of sixty thousand knew and were singing his contribution to music… his baby. He said his throat tightened, and his emotions welled up and he stopped in that moment, and became part of a bigger, single moment in time when the confluence of effort, execution, appreciation, and gratitude became real, and all sixty thousand and one were locked in a synergistic embrace. Wow… and there were tears, and smiles, and much happiness.
Lawson
First Rock --
A couple of matching Moments for me involve star-gazing. The first was on a mountain in southern Mexico, almost forty years ago now. (!!!) It was darker than it EVER gets in the US. The sky was glorious beyond credence. Then I spotted one bright star moving. It was a satellite, I believe one of the early communications satellites. Wonder and pride filled me.
(Which also brings to mind that magical moment when Neil Armstrong first set foot on the Moon! As Heinlein said, "Earth is just too small and fragile a basket for mankind to keep all its eggs in.")
Now flash-forward to the Persied meteor shower some fifteen years ago. We often can't see them, because they come during our rainy season. But that year, I had a terrific view. After about an hour, I saw *the* most spectacular meteor-moment I may ever encounter. One was racing, roughly north to south, along the Milky Way. Just as this fact registered, another one started **racing parallel** to the first, south among the stars. For all the world as though they were a couple of teenaged stars drag-racing along the stellar highway! I doubt if anyone else saw this, as my particular perspective probably was responsible for the appearance, but it was breathtaking. I went inside after that; NOTHING could have topped it, except possibly a nova!
(continued next rock)
"One was racing, roughly north to south, along the Milky Way. Just as this fact registered, another one started 'racing parallel' to the first, south among the stars. For all the world as though they were a couple of teenaged stars drag-racing along the stellar highway!"
Along with admiration, I believe envy of your talent for imagery is what I feel after reading yet another of your emotion evoking lines. A small correction: though you may have been uniquely privy to the real-time hi-jinks in the heavens, and I missed it in the original showing… I caught it in your rerun... thanks!
Lawson
Love,
Cara
My post from this morning seems to have disappeared. I'll try again.
Like you, I love the moments. I've got a library full of them in my mind. I learned long ago to savor special moments and it's been a boon to me in down times. I just close my eyes and for a few seconds, I live in a favorite part of the past. Most of my mental snapshots are pleasant and make me grin. Some however are poignant and even piercing and can trigger an overwhelming sense of sorrow or sadness. When I returned from an overseas tour and my son was there to meet me at the airport, I almost didn't recognize him. He was 13 and had grown at least 5 inches in the 1/2 year since I 'd last seen him. I can still see him walking toward me in Ontario Airport with his gaze fixed solidly upon me and the shock that I felt that I didn't recognize my own son for a couple of seconds. Yeah, some of those psychic Polaroids sure carry a kick.
Feel good moments are like that quick breath you take as you surface for a second before you return to swimming below the surface. Compared to the 20 - 30 seconds underwater, that 1 second isn't very long. But it sure is necessary.
simply yours,
little brother
I know what you mean about that disappearing 'thingy.' I'm glad you are willing to 'give it a whirl' again, because I know how frustrating it is to take the time to respond, and have it disappear. Thank you.
You know, since I first 'met' you here, some time ago, I had the impression that you were a Memorize the Moments kind-of-guy. People with heart awakening seem to be on the 'same beam' this way. In every single way, I relate to your return home and finding your son emerging during your absence. Your mention of this with yours brought back to me an entire freight train of such times, many involving various airports. Many, many thanks, including that opportunity for the second dive.
may you find Sweet Dreams, and a joy-filled weekend, my friend,
Cara
I wish I could bottle that feeling and sell it.
All good things to your door, and sweet dreams this evening, too,
Cara
I recall those days. I even recall when my co-workers and I put the final capstone on the Great Pyramid at Giza. It was a beautiful day, gentle breeze, not a cloud in the sky. The Pharaoh and his family were there and all of Cairo turned out. After work my buddies and I went down to the Nile and celebrated with several cups of wine. Those were the days.
Oh, how you 'crack me up.' Very, very fun. I love how you used that sentence for a launching board to let the creative imagination soar, and, in so doing, help me put things in perspective. So, let me join you:
the really great thing about those days, and the wine, was that there were not nearly so many distractions. There was no need, as well, for figuring out our life purpose. No, sireeee. We just woke up, got our sandals on, and trotted over to the pyramids to enjoy your work. And, those nights beside the Nile, I mean, under those stars, and the chanting in the background, wow. My favorite, though, was witnessing you and your bros so, so happy at what you had created. There is just something magical about being in the company of those who bring forward what has never been. I raise my cup to you, to Giza, to what has stood the test of time, and to your remarkable ability to 'go beyond where brave men and women have gone before.' Bravo, Mike.
chuckes your way,
Cara
Your entry was a serious launch to my Friday! Thx.
Have a weekend of spewing delight,
Cara