'Is There a Doctor in the House?'
Dr. Cara Barker
All I can say is 'what a week!' I don't know about you, but mine has been pretty much a kaleidoscope of sounds, events, sensations. Monday, we heard President Obama build a bridge with the Chinese, who are increasingly becoming our landlord, while in Alaska Sarah Palin's telling all who will listen that she's resigned from governor so she can really serve the people of her state without all the politics. Right. Over the weekend, there was coverage about the life of Walter Cronkite, and moving words from his buddy, Andy Rooney. On Capital Hill, more rhetoric and posturing about the necessity health care reform, while on Wall Street, speculative statements are being made about us coming out of the recession. Oh, yes, and let's not forget the ticker-tape unfolding events surrounding Michael Jackson's death, Murray, the kids, and, now a new appointment at the White House for beer for a table of three.
Meeting the Unexpected. But of all the words I've heard in the past few days, the ones that spoke most deeply to me were these aboard the returning Amtrak train to Seattle: "Is there a doctor on board?" Believe me, I was invested in the answer. Minutes earlier, I'd been walking through the compartment, having just visited the snack bar to get my bottle of water. As a matter of fact, I was thinking of you! Suddenly, the train lunged, throwing me, with some considerable velocity, against the back corner, inches from the window. The force hurled me, and my lower back, against a metal bar, beneath the window. Appropriately, the metal was a railing for the handicapped. Only in my case, it did not help, but rather, hindered my subsequent mobility. The pain was considerable. As I attempted to return to my feet, it became abundantly clear to me, via my lumbar vertebra, that I wasn't going anywhere. Ready or not, my body was making it perfectly clear that it was time to 'cool my jets,' as we used to say, to simply 'be.'
As I sat there, first nauseous, then feeling faint, the words of Anne Morrow Lindbergh came back to me. Funny, isn't it, how your neurons can retrieve bits and pieces from the most hidden 'files' when you face the unexpected? In this particular case, the words are from her classic Gifts from the Sea, and go like this:
"...The problem is...how to remain whole in the midst of the distractions of life; how to remain balanced no matter what centrifugal forces tend to pull one off center, how to remain strong no matter what shocks come in at the periphery and tend to crack the hub of the wheel....There is no easy answer."
While the attendant placed a glacier of ice on my spine, every single prayer I could muster was being sent out into the universe that there would be no literal 'crack' in the hub of my own wheel, and that this affair would net out simply as a teaching which would help me get my house in further order. During the next 3 ½ hours, as I contemplated what had transpired, and 'why me, why this, why now,' another scene came back to mind. You have a lot of time to ponder when you can't move.
Nine hours earlier, along the way to the station, we came across the flashing red lights of Medic One on Dearborn Street. Two medics and one police officer were checking out what appeared to be a homeless man who'd fallen on the pavement. "Poor guy," I muttered to my husband. "It's a good thing we've got first responders! But what of all the people without healthcare?" Little did I know that it would be me, two blocks from that very spot later that evening, that would be wheeled into an ambulance. You just never know. Best to live each moment to the hilt.
I love the train. Despite this accident, I will always love the train. I love the clickety-clack, the solitude and escape from the phone and all related gadgets. I love the space, the room to breathe, observe, and go within. My few hours in Portland were 'the best.' My friend, Ed Madison, who's been in media forever, picked me up at the station, which gave us a chance to catch up, before he recorded a piece for one of my C.D.', and for the Web. What a blessing to catch up with him, learn about his new son, and be 'with kin.' Later, while waiting for the train, there was time to catch up on the phone with my cousin, as well as a few friends I'd been missing. My heart was full. It was with that feeling that I entered the train, and found my seat, 7A, settling in for a relaxing journey back home, mission accomplished. Or, so I thought until the train lurched, and landed me in need of a doctor or angel, whichever came first.
Help Arrives. My own personal guardian angel sat down across from me, within moments of the accident, as the train joggled along the tracks. "My name is Brian, and I'm a doctor." Thank you, Holy of Holies! Brian Harte, from Cleveland, Ohio, was on vacation with his hiking buddies, or so he thought. (Two hours later, there was another medical emergency on board, which led to a 45 minute wait at the Tacoma station for a team to arrive and do what they needed to do.) Poor Brian needed to catch a flight at Sea-Tac that same evening! Before he took off, I suggested he might want to consider the plane next time.
One Simple Tip. One of the things I noticed, amongst many, that night, was the healing power of Presence. You might think it a little thing that someone gives you their name, and asks you yours. However, among 14 people with whom I dealt connected to the episode, (train, station, ambulance, and, eventually the E.R. of Overlake Hospital, only 3 of the 14 offered their name. Let me tell you, when you are in that situation, one of the simple things that are needed is connection, not anonymity. Hence, I asked for names! We need contact if we want the parasympathetic nervous system is to 'get on board' when there's been trauma. Brian is a champion at this. Periodically, he'd come back to where I was stationary "...just to see how you are doing..." This was more than helpful. What a simple act, and yet, such 'good medicine.' The next time you witness an accident, extend your name, ask the patient their name, and use it. Brian remembers the oath he took as a doc: "I hold my art as sacred..." Buddha put it this way:
"Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle...happiness never
decreases by being shared."
Brian is such a 'candle.'
I could not help but think of the political power grabbing on the Hill, and wish that more of the folks we've sent there could remember the meaning of the Buddha's words, and Brian's action. What if we all, politicians and non-politicians would remember that we can make a very real difference by simple human outreach. What if we 'got' that our role is to respond to what is before us in the most humane way we can? What if we took to heart the fact that neither do we know what's 'round the corner, nor the impact we might have. What if we trusted that this is why we are here, after all? What if we found for ourselves the truth that Victor Hugo penned:
"The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that you are loved."
Around the Corner. The beauty is that creation reminds us in infinite ways that we are loved. Just this morning, on my first little walk along the lake since the aforementioned, I decided to do the little exercise I suggested on the C.D. Ed recorded for me. It goes like this: "At the very moment you believe you cannot afford the time, write out, in one sentence, the problem that's got you stumped. Lay it down, and go for a 15-20 minute walk, and notice the unexpected. When you return, if you are open, you'll find a clue to your situation." As I walked along a sequestered little part of Lake Washington, I was met with the most beautiful pond of white water lilies that you've ever seen. But wait! There's more! Right in their midst was a solitary heron, standing perfectly still. Hearing the pounding of a runner behind me, I turned and motioned "Shush" and motioned to the heron. The pony-tailed woman stopped in her tracks. "Wow," she said with a smile. "Thanks for stopping me. Sometimes I get to going so fast that I miss the important things." Amen.
Let me leave you with some of them. Check out what's embedded below. I guarantee you, you'll feel better.
HAPPINESS Quotes - DAVIDSQUOTES.COM - Funny home videos are a click away
I'll be back, God willing, August 12th. For now, please let me know how you are, what you've been learning, what's helping you, and what inspires you today? I'll get back in touch as soon as I can. Godspeed, and watch for lurching trains! Cara
Loading comments…
Want to reply to a comment? Hint: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to
My dearest Cara,
What a sad story, I am worry for you and hope your back is recovering well. Use this time as a break time in your life, a special moment to stop and smell the flowers... I really hope the pain is gone at the time I am writing to you. You are in my prayers.
Your words are always so inspring and touching me in a deepest way. Thank you for sharing and know that you are loved too.
Stephanie
Thank you for the insightful article. It reminds me of a tip a nurse once gave me. When a patient arrived looking nervous, I used this technique: I made brief eye contact, used their name, then made a simple observation about them - a new hair cut or color, an interesting necktie, what was the book they had...
Almost invariably, I could see their eyes soften and their shoulders relax, if only a bit. Sometimes I even got a smile. (It was a dental practice, one doesn't expect miracles every time...) From there, we could move forward with the treatment. It took maybe 10 seconds, but usually made the next hour better for both of us.
I missed you last week, too. I hope you are mending well. I've been on that train, although it was not as eventful as your trip (I loved watching the water). I want to wish you better luck in future trips, but then we wouldn't get the insights you glean from them.
See Dr. Cara Barker's Profile
Dear Gnrshrtd,
I'm hoping you'll find my response to your wise words, albeit it is buried by now in the archives. Nonetheless, that nurse wise a wise puppy. So are you. Ah, if but more dentists followed that advise.
Know that I appreciate your personal words, very, very much. I, too, love watching that water. And, my friend, I wish you safe travels, as well, insight-laden!
Warmest wishes your way,
Cara
Dr. Cara,
I stopped by to find out what you were up to -- I've sent a few people this way lately -- and was really concerned by the incident as you described it. I'm sorry to hear about the incident and the pain. I wanted to let you know that I sent a little 'thank you' to you in my latest post, heartfelt, and ask you to stop by. Enjoy your break,
James
http://www
See Dr. Cara Barker's Profile
Thanks so much, James. I'm on my way over to your post, as we speak. Many thanks for your support! Many blessings for your contribution!
Good things your way,
Cara
Dear Cara, I'm so glad you're okay. Take good care of yourself; you've received quite a shock to the system. I'm amazed at your grace.
I got to thinking about doctors and how many of them are always on call in a way no matter what they are doing or where they are going. If something happens and a doctor is needed, they step up. A friend of mine was vacationing and was called upon to help a man in distress while touring a brewery. The man's shoulder was dislocated. After some discussion, and some considerable skill on the part of the doctor, the shoulder was snapped back into place and the vacation progressed for all those involved. Talk about being there for someone! I'm so happy that Brian was there for you. Not many of us have the skills of a trained professional, but anyone can be present for someone.
Love, Usedtobequiet
See Dr. Cara Barker's Profile
Dear Usedtobequiet,
Many thanks for your warm response. I really appreciate your outreach.
Yes, it is so touching to experience those who 'hold their art as sacred.' One thing I've learned over the years from healthcare background, is that 'healers' come in many forms. You are a healer of the heart.
Be well. As always, I love to know how you are.
Blessings and love your way,
Cara
I've always loved the candle/light metaphor. And you are certainly one of the bright lights on the planet. And I've often admired your ability to create profound learning from mundane events (not to belittle your pain and discomfort). You did it again.
Here's are a couple of my favorite quotes about light and candles:
"Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light."
-Albert Schweitzer
"A single candle can light a thousand more without diminishing itself."
-Hilllel The elder
Thank you for spreading the light...
See Dr. Cara Barker's Profile
Thank you Terry, not only for your kind words, but for the beautiful quotes. How they uplift my heart. You have a splendid collection, and now your sharing lights many more candles with them, and your wisdom, too.
Love,
Cara
Dear Cara,
What happened? How did you end up in the side yard?
Boy, your post has a lot going on. I'm telling you, you can't keep a good woman down. In spite of all you've been through this past week, you managed to write a brilliant blog that inspires others. You are THE master at using whatever life offers up as grist for the mill. It's all a big classroom.
I'm imagining you on the train, orchestrating the other passengers into a chorus line with everyone singing and having the time of their lives. Only you could do this!
I'm glad you're on the mend. Take good care of yourself. Life's too short to spend it being anything less than optimally happy and healthy.
Much love to you,
Judith
See Dr. Cara Barker's Profile
Oh, my, how I do love your fantasy life! I'm afraid I wasn't leading a chorus line. In fact, I couldn't move at all! But, come to think of it, we were having some pretty juicy conversations that brought the healing stuff forward.
I agree with you, dear friend. Let's go for the optimally happy/healthy route all the way around!
Healing your way, too.
Love,
Cara
See Kari Henley's Profile
Cara
what a story of unsung heroes. Thank goodness you appear to be ok, and what a gift for words you have to so eloquently be able to step back from your experience and capture it for us with hidden meanings.
The humanity of caring for one another is so simple isn't? Just knowing a doctor's name helps us to feel a connection, and I believe a connection is critical to any healing process, whether it is healing a broken heart with a therapist, or healing a damaged heart with a cardiologist.
I think this post should be shared with everyone! It inspired me...
Thank you!
Kari
See Dr. Cara Barker's Profile
Well, kiddo, it is YOU, Ms. Kari, who inspires me! You not only have such a way with words, as you demonstrate week after week, you have a gift wtih meaning. I do believe, along with you, about "the humanity of caring for one another is so simple....
I'm so glad you are in our world to remind all who listen what's important, after all.
Love,
Cara
You make me feel good!
Thanks
BB
P.S. I've ridden that train between Portland and Seattle many times. It can be a bit lurching.
See Dr. Cara Barker's Profile
I'm glad I'm not alone in the experience, tapeatsbill! Maybe we are charter members of the Lurch Club!
Hope this is finding you 'lurch free' and in fine spirits. Thanks, as always, for stopping by.
Cara
Hi Cara,
Our connectivity as human beings, which I believe is the most natural state in the world, has been a theme of your posts. What's awesome to me is that the relatedness you write about is showing up in my lived experience as I read! I find myself laughing and crying every time. Connection is right here, right now.
Brian's words "I hold my art as sacred" struck me. I looked up sacred and found that it means to hold in reverence, and to be connected with the Divine. What if we lived our lives with a commitment to hold people, ourselves, and our actions in reverence, knowing we'll fall off track from time to time, just like the train you rode, but then getting right back on, richer for having fallen? That might sound lofty...I can see the possibilities of this as a way of life in our world, though. I think that's what we're moving toward on our planet. The chaos we experience globally and locally (all really stemming from the same illusion of separation) is, ironically, moving us closer to each other--having us become awakened to our essential Oneness as a humanity.
I am launching my own business that, at heart, will be a conduit for Oneness, regardless of the form it takes. I am having fun with it--AND it's not always easy--find myself getting caught up in "hows." Your posts are a great support! Thank you.
Sending you love,
Dawnelle
See Dr. Cara Barker's Profile
Dear Dawnelle,
I want you to know, first, that I wish you all good things in the launch of your business. One thing is for certain. Regardless your product or service, the people you serve will be most fortunate to have transactions with you. Truly, you understand the importance of connection.
Your words are so meaningful to me, Dawnelle. Bless you for taking the time to come by. I do hope to see you very soon.
Oh, by the way, Brian did not speak the words 'I hold my art as sacred' through language. This is the oath, or part of the oath, that a physician takes in order to present. It is related to the 'do no harm' sentiment. But, through his action and non-action, Brian is a shining example of this credo.
Love and blessings,
Cara
Hi Cara,
You too are a candle that lights thousands. It is amazing what the mind will stumble over while it is searching for a response to an emergency. Last year I injured myself pretty badly and within seconds of the accident I was picturing David Carradine's charactor from Kung Fu sitting on a hill, sitting cross-legged while playing his flute. I thought it odd. It didn't prevent me from taking necessary steps but it was more like I was outside myself directing an event.
My name is Mike,
pleased to meet you
See Dr. Cara Barker's Profile
First, Mike, I do hope you are well on the mend from your accident. I love the image that the psyche brought to you at the time of your injury. Absolutely beautiful. As a Jungian Analyst, I am endlessly impressed wtih how psyche uses every single opporunity it can, through psyche and soma, to 'call us Home' to our Center, our Soul, our place of deepest Wisdom. Truly, I will not forget your gift.
Meanwhile, I shall hold you in the heart of my prayers. Let me know how you are doing and growing as time passes. You will find a very interested ear.
Much peace and every blessing your way,
Cara
I knew something was "off". When you didn't post a blog last week, I was concerned. I'm glad to see you're healing. I completely understand the impact of an injury of this kind.
Upon my graduation from high school, I gradually become immobile and spent my entire summer before college bedridden from a spinal column injury that I was apparently born with and made worse from my year of running cross-country. My mother never told me I was born with this issue.
When you can't move because of means beyond your control, you are forced to listen.
You touched on something important about names. Our name is our main identity and as we move away from personal interaction we start to hide behind anonymity and forget the need to introduce ourselves and communicate.
I think it's telling that President Obama is suggesting having a beer as opposed to a conference call. When we're all face to face, we see the humanity in each other. And the things about each other that we don't like will either be solidified or better understood.
Take Care and Many Blessings,
Ebony
See Dr. Cara Barker's Profile
Sweet Ebony,
Florence Nightingale would be smiling at your words, and rejoicing in your healing Spirit. It certainly takes 'having been there' to speak firsthand in such a poignant way.
Let me tell you something ironic: you were one of the people treasures that I thought about while sitting against that block of ice on the train those nearly four hours. I was sending you my appreciation for who you are. No joke.
As for Obama, I'm with you. Maybe we each need to raise a bottle in celebration of reconnection!
Love and gratitude out your way,
Cara
How are you personally, Ebony?
I appreciate being in your thoughts in such a humble moment. As my uncle Conrad always tells me, the Universe has a mysterious yet calculated way of connecting people and events in our lives.
I wanted to mention with my situation, when I had my initial bout of pain that would eventually leave me bedridden, I all of sudden couldn't walk. And my honest first thoughts were my grandmother telling me "always make sure to wear your best underwear since you never know when you have to go to the hospital." ;) That thought always got me through the worse times because we can only survive with laughter through the pain. Thankfully I recovered months later and was able to attend school on time.
I'm feeling very renewed after your last blog. Being a creative soul leads me to moments of deep thought. And I want to tell you how your comment on my writing skills last time empowered me to finish some writing projects I've been afraid to tackle again.
Much Love,
Ebony
It probably sounds cynical, but your accident has certainly been the source of some very poetic and thoughtful writing for everybody at huffpo.
I love how you elongate those moments when you were passively watching what happened to you - almost like an out-of-body-state. And rediscovering the facts that matter along the way. Marvellous.
See Dr. Cara Barker's Profile
Your remarks sound anything but cynical to me, DiogenesOfAlaska. I hadn't thought of the 'out-of-body' state, but, in a sense, witnessing is very similar to that, isn't it? Blessedily, our soma and psyche is well-equipped to respond to pretty much anything in a way that can be useful.
One of the important factors that I rediscovered during the train ride post accident, was the following. I revisited what an extraordinary 'pain management' tool that Presence provides. Incredible. During the moments when I interacted with someone, like Brian, who was not hesitant around pain, but fully 'there,' it had a remarkable effect upon the pain I was experiencing. It actually shifted awareness, and, therefore, the sensation. I've had this experience two other times in my life: once with a bee sting (I'm allergic to bees and was not near a hospital), and the other time during another form of physical dental trauma.
Where we place our focus changes everything. Thanks for pointing out something that helps me integrate the experience.
How are you????????? Let me know!
Love and blessings,
Cara
It may be highly speculative, but could it be that the 'pain management' power of Presence that you experienced is a hard neurological fact at the basis of the survival value of empathy?
In circumstances of stress, we always fall back into the hardwired reactions and behavioural patterns. It clearly matters a lot what we experience in those few moments in our lives that can be life-threatening. If our soma and psyche can be 'guided' towards a response that makes us forget some of the pain so we can handle our situation better, then the ability to trigger such 'guidance' is very valuable and momentous.
I recall the effects of certain narcotics during painful examinations which can make us forget pain - even though we experience the pain strictly speaking, at the moment in which it occurs. And why wouldn't a caring human face with a name be such a trigger - albeit one with not quite the strength of those modern fancy narcotics?
It's those extremely rare events with huge impact that will keep us from any kind of simplistic understanding of ourselves for a long time to come. And in more than one way, I am quite happy that this is so.
Dr. Cara!!
YOU inspire me today!
I hope you are recovering quickly and will feel like dancing again soon! If nothing else (and I'm SURE there's more to it than this), your train-lurc
You, and many others (hopefully me among them) are teaching - sometimes directly, often simply by example - those 'politicians and non-politicians' about outreach, compassion, and why we are here! Despite what appears to the contrary, there is so very much to be thankful for, isn't there? It is mind-boggling. Thank you for sharing your love and experiences.
Blessings and healing energy your way -
:-)
See Dr. Cara Barker's Profile
Oh, allcreaturesareone, your words are music to my heart. Healing ones, at that! I'm so glad you not only liked the article, but found the article. I'm not sure why it is on the left side of the page, this week. Ah, well.
That fact of the matter is, allcreatures, that you are a most excellent beacon of human outreach. I am just certain that my endorphins are singing your praises, as much as I. Again, you are making a very real difference.
Let me know what is happening in your life these days. I'll check back!
See you on my next post on August 12th.
Love your way,
Cara
Breaks in the haze of routine are there to highlight that which never,ever changes. This is a well known tactic in Buddhism, there are so many stories, from Zen masters breaking their students bones, to masters saying "If i had a good student, he would jump off a tower". the break with convential reality is needed to shock the mind into experiencing reality instead of the fantasy world most live in. May your back heal nicely and continue to support your flame of love and may that flame blaze and consume all of samsara.
See Dr. Cara Barker's Profile
Arithrianos, you are such an inspiration. Your words, wishes and Wisdom uplift my heart. What a beautiful connection you have made to the Zen masters. I love the reminder. Have I told you lately that you are adored???????????
How are you, my friend? I'd love to know.
Love and peace,
Cara
I am well, thank you, and you are adored right back. I have rekindled my obsession with the video game Elder Scrolls IV:Oblivion, and it is eating all of my free time. I had the game on my PS3 before the PS3 got stolen, now i have an Xbox 360 and recently got the game for it. As for life in general it is providing wonderful opportunities for practice, it is almost always 100+ here in Austin,TX, and there is the biggest drought ever on top of that, but still somehow there manages to be those high humidity days, so yeah, really great for testing out the old equinimity, especially when commuting home on the bus.
See Dr. Cara Barker's Profile
Thanks, Anne. Let me know what happens when you do the exercise! I do it most days myself, and have had really surprising, and helpful results.
You are a model for your words. Thanks, again, for coming by, and for your well wishes. They all help!
Love,
Cara
You must be logged in to comment. Log in or connect with
