Consider this. What if, in the midst of whatever you are doing right now, this second, the "highest authority" were to "speak" to you? Regardless how you name the "highest," be it God, the Creator, the Field, Buddha, wisdom, your neocortex, the Wakan, the Tao, Sophia, Kwan Yin, the Guadalupe, She, the "two-million-year-old man," spirit, ethics -- it does not matter for purposes of this question. Underneath the naming of the thing, what matters is that we remember we are the same in our human being-ness, all struggling, all rejoicing on good moments, thankful on others, and doing the best we can, given what we know and have practiced.
If we can, then, get past this "naming thing," for it has been at source of multiple wars and suffering, let's say that your phone were ringing and it was the most holy and highest on the other end. Imagine it said the following to you:
"Stop. No matter how important your deadline is, just stop for a moment. No matter how convinced you are that you do not have time, that the consequences are too grave, simply stop. No matter how troubled you are about your child's problem, or your wallet, or your job, or your well-being, no matter how worried you are about the unforeseen future, your family, or your friends, stop. Give it a rest. Just for a moment, give yourself permission to release the hold distractions have on you, lay down the cell, turn away from the Internet, silencing doubt. Breathe. Something you have overlooked because you have been too busy with what does not matter nearly as much as what others might tell you. Yes, something vital to your well-being is seeking you. That something is pure Wisdom."
A rose by any other name is still a rose. Whatever you call your own highest authority is none of my business. Whatever path you are on is the right one for you. What is my business is what you write back to me, and the growing numbers of readers on this site. I hear you. It may take me awhile to respond because what you address runs so deep in the fabric of the human psyche that I must first return to the depths of my own "root cellar" before responding. But know that your pain is heard, as is your disappointment with some people in your life, and the related circumstances. You know who you are.
The way you have named your present condition has got me thinking. How to be of best use? You have been seeking an answer, the arrival of proof that what you are seeking, is seeking you, is coming your way. It is hard, sometimes, to maintain trust in the process when the flow of healthy life seems stuck in a logjam. At times like these, it is my practice to stay open for incoming information, clues that might be helpful. While considering your plight this holiday season, I happened upon a conversation in the most unlikely of places. While sitting upon the "throne," in a neighboring booth, I overheard the voice of a child in response to her mother's urging to "Hurry up! We've got things to do!" Said the little one in earnest: "I'm trying, Mommy, but Mr. Poopie will not come!" Immediately thereafter, the little girl began to sing the following: "Please little poopie, won't you come? We will be so happy to see you if you do, nice little poopie!"
You can't make this stuff up. I was reminded of just why it is that children are amongst my favorite wisdom teachers. They speak with open minds and clear hearts. They remember that everything is part of life. No guilt or shame has gotten stuck on the bottom of their shoes yet, that spiritual caca that leads to the most dangerous problem of our time: unworthiness.
Lest you think this a digression from said subject, it is not. Our most high and holy job is to be present to our relationship with the moment, with the urging of our heart, the needs of our well-being, and be patient for what this requires. Just last week, a woman who came for treatment told me that she is "stuck" in her life. I asked her for evidence, to which she pointed to, yes, constipation and insomnia. Turns out she does not drink water during the workday because the time it would take her to go down the hallway to the toilet would be frowned upon by co-workers, and maybe her boss. She is afraid to take the time for natural needs. No wonder she is stuck.
Ten Practical Steps for Nourishing Care Today.
Through her dream life, she was told: "What you need most is nourishing care!" I share this with you, with her permission, because her dream is giving our world well-needed advise from these times. In the midst of these "troubled waters," the best answer for whatever ails you and me, always comes from deep listening, and simple action. But, the "delivery" will only come if you leave space for the following:
1. Leave yourself some space. When you find yourself most troubled today, stop. Allow yourself room to breathe.
2. Return to your own "root cellar," in whatever way works for you. For the little girl, she did what was most natural to her: She sang a little self-created song.
3. During these root cellar moments, lay down the weight of the world you've been carrying on your shoulders. Just be.
4. Release the habit of all that heavy lifting, particularly of other people's problems. Let them grow, finding their own wisdom way.
5. Recall a recent sweet spot moment. For example, I think of how my 22-month-old granddaughter saw me last week, and ran as fast as she could toward me, grinning ear to ear for her nana. Recall whatever warms your heart. Savor as needed.
6. Pretend your S.S. Moment were instructional about the "nourishing care" you are needing to receive and give.
7. Give yourself the gift of #6.
8. Remember, you are hard-wired for responding to kindness.
9. Search out your own dream wisdom. Ask yourself the following: "If you could design the best possible dream to have right now, what would you dream?"
10. Extract the essence of your dream wisdom to live out in some microscopic way today. Enjoy.
Your turn: What dream would you love to have tonight? What kind of specific nourishing care would support living out this dream? I'm not only listening. I am adoring you, as well! May the "reason for the season" be lived out each day for you and yours, this 2011.
Follow Dr. Cara Barker on Twitter: www.twitter.com/DrCaraBarker
Let's dream big in these terrible economic/political times. Cervantes may have written Don Quixote as a mockery of dreaming the impossible dream; but the world will be a better place if we each fight in our own way for what's right - if we strive in our own lives to do what's right for the rest of us, our family, our nation, and most of all, Mother Earth. It seems to me, we need each other more than ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxjGlgmSJ8o&feature=related
Brian Stokes Mitchell, Man of La Mancha, The Impossible Dream ...
Listen again and again and then decide something to do for us ... whether it's OWS, or whatever turns out to be your gift. Dream, for sure ~
So many blessings your way,
Cara
Primo link!
I've been working on some things, and the main piece is from your essay about finding our voice. I grew up in a home where children were not allowed to speak.
So I did a lot of thinking, and analyzing during those years. I listened.
I've had a lot of the usual experiences as an adult, some unique, but in ways that most people don't get a chance to really see. I've been an ordinary person in some extraordinary situations.
The voice I'm developing is to write about my experience; first about my family experience, and writing about it to my family. It seems they have little knowledge of our history and even less awareness. This is not welcome story-telling.
But it is an interesting story and one well worth telling and revealing.
Thank you, dear Cara, for the overdue nudge that set me on my path with this project. I will be kind in the telling, but strong; because with self-respect that's the only way. There is no other choice.
Until next time ... Warm regards.
My root is the ever present Inner Master who is beyond all thought.
Thomas
If some higher being started talking to me, I’d run for President…!
I believe you were speaking of the 2000 Year Old Man who was a persona in a comedy skit, originally created by Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner in 1961. (Please stop it Cara, I dream of you as 39.)
“Please little poopie, won't you come?â€
For this tidbit of wisdom I am very, very thankful. It works great..!
My “dream†would be about a world of healthy, loving people living out their lives in peace and harmony.
“What kind of specific nourishing care would support living out this dream?â€
To save the progress of civilization at this moment; we cannot allow those who would turn back time take control of this country.
Privately, I once asked a former member from Dublin who was most often known as “Funkyâ€, why he supported President Obama so passionately? He said, “So goes America, so goes the world!†(He was basically run out of the site by fools.)
If we do not vote, that is a half a vote for the Republicans; who want to disassemble every advance created by every Administration and Congress for the past 110 years to improve our lives. Our dreams as a people will fade unless Obama is re-elected.
I love your dream, and share it. As for nourishing care, the very thought prompted something in m;y meditation which will appear here on Wednesday Enjoy, as they say.
surely what you say is so all the way around. It is time to conquer our own apathy and 'get cracking', for sure.
Peace and joy, to you and yours,
Cara
Although, I completely understand Bill Maher's sense of the ridiculousness that is going on with the Republicans. Our president does seem like the adult in the nation.
Why can't most people be like gypsy and me?
Because that would be exceedingly boring, I see.
Cara
In the early 2000zies we were living on the banks of the Deschutes River; south of Olympia, WA. One hot day, I set out to float the stretch between our house and the falls. I neglected to refresh my repair kit. I tried to be careful. It was somewhat foreboding to pass remnants of rafts and inner tubes snarled in fallen trees.
At one point, I encountered a huge logjam. I had been warned about how dangerous they were to walk across. I chose my steps slowly and almost made it to the downstream side uneventfully. Just at the end, I tipped over. I landed well, but my boat was pushed into some bushes and received a very small puncture.
For a few miles I accepted slowly sinking and pausing to re-inflate. On one visit to shore I noticed a berry bush.(No idea what kind.) They seemed thick skinned, so I popped the pulp out of one, used a small twig to push it into the hole, stopped the leak and floated to my destination.
I hadn't come to seize that berry, but spent ample time praising it. That serendipitous success would not be in my annals if it weren't for that seemingly insurmountable logjam.
Your story is just a splendid example of what it means to be awake in the process of living. Almost a Zen teaching story, really. Help is always living amongst us, but so often we have attentional blindness because it is not in the form we expect. Good for you! Good for the berry-aid. Good for life.
By the way, I know the Deschutes well. In fact, the first time I was on it rafting, I broke my nose when the raft tipped. Three hours later I was doing a keynote address. My nose felt as big as my face. WHat a memory of surrender!
A meaningful month your way, Gems. So much love and respect your way,
Cara
It always inspiring to hear from you, I'm almost going to fulfill one of my dreams soon, to run and complete my first marathon on this Sunday! Physically, I don't think I'm prepared, but mentally I have already completed the race.... I believe no dreams are too big to achieve because it always start from a simple step, if you can dream it, you can achieve it!
Wish everyone here achieve their dreams soon!
I want you to know that I will have you in my heart, especially this Sunday. I know a thing or two about marathons, personally. Especially since my son was a marathon runner, and trained others to do them. WHat joy this memory returns to me.
One little baby step is so vital to the big dreams and small one. You are right, Thomas. Simplicity is the beginning.
Let me know what happens in the marathon tomorrow. You've got another fan in me!!!
Take care of those feet afterwards, too. Blister city.
Cara
It's my pleasure to share my marathon experience with you. 4th Dec 2011 is a day for me to remember, a day that begins a new chapter in my life.
The first 18km was ok except that I was beginning to feel some muscle cramp coming, when I reach the half way point 21km, there's a sign saying "It is the next 21km that separates you from the rest"
Within the next 5 mins, I understand that statement - my left leg is down with muscle cramps, I apply muscle rubs, stretching, drink 100plus, only to find my right leg getting muscle cramps after 25km.
"Should I quit?" Nobody would fault me for giving up - then I found my my eyes wet… Images of failures after failures came flashing in my mind, the muscle pain/cramp were gone at this moment, I was determined not to get another failure… At about 35km, it was clear in my mind, the pain/agony could not stop me from reaching the finishing line, I walked and walked, breathe deeper and walk even faster….
Finally, I cross the finishing line in 7 hours 5 min - It's done, all the struggles are worth it. I gave a smiling face with my hands up for the photographer to take the magic moment - I have challenged myself and won, my mind has now stretched to a point of no return. I'm ready to take on the world and I have become unstoppable!!
I'm just saying that is a dream okay? Oh it would be good if we were sitting in the Grand Canyon on top of the Tapeats.
In my other dream - I'm on stage speaking. People are laughing and inspired.
In my other, other dream, I am giving you a big brother hug and wishing you a Happy New Year!
Peace on ya little sister, Doc! You are now my wise little sister.
See? I knew our Bill has a growing fan club. What fine taste you have!
For a moment there, I thought you were going to say the woman's name was Eve! Couldn't resist!
Your Trinity of dreams are terrific, beginning with Lady Elizabeth, and her coy smile. Sounds like something juicy may well be on it's way. Of course the speaking on stage dream seems an 'of course.' What audience wouldn't be better off for listening at the well of your wisdom, humor, playfulness, and genuine heart? I'm in the front row each and every time I hear from you or think of you.
Your sister is hugging you right back, maybe there in the Grand Canyon or Tapeats!
Merry merry your way,
Cara
In my best possible dream, I become myself by stripping off layer after layer of behavior that I adopted over the years for less than purely good reasons. I trust myself and my instincts and I am not concerned with opinions other than those of people I love or respect or both. In this dream I have rid myself of guilt and shame and I accept that I am one with the rest of humanity and the rest of life for that matter. I am free to spend my time as I wish. Also, I get to spend time or correspond with people I care about. And finally, The winter is forbidden till December and exits March the second on the dot. By order, summer lingers through September..................
If there be Pixies, let one shower you with happy dust.
All my love,
little brother,
mike
As for your notion of winter I'm thinking maybe it vanishes by February? Just a thought....
Oh, how happy I am that you are around!
To the rain shower of all that is grand, my friend,
Cara
that was definitely santa coming early with a ray of hope.
i will have to work on 5, 9 and 10. your post has perked me up my dear. thank you.
Catherine
Let me know how your tantalizing story evolves. I love the surprises, Catherine, don't you? What a grand and giving heart you have.
AS for me, I'm right there beside you working my own list. It is wonderful to have company!
Peace and joy to you, Catherine, and to all whose paths you cross,
Cara
In my line of work, if you have been following over these past four years here on the HP, you know that the holiday season brings special challenges to folks during the holiday season, the closing out of another year, and the anticipation of family gatherings. So, in the clinic I am pretty much 'double-booked,' with consults in addition to regular client sessions.
Know that your words, your dreams, your response to what I feel the 'holy nudge' to write here is so important to me that I do not wish to disrespect your time, energy and wisdom with a glib response that can be thrown out into the virtual world without a thought. I will be back to you, in earnest, having taken care to let your message touch me.
Meanwhile, I am so grateful for who you are in my world,
Cara
L. xxxx
I must add, the photo of the sweater really is terrific!!!! I see what you mean!
xxoo
Cara
I know that you are up to your eyebrows in requests, without enough time. It is not easy doing what you do. Please know, in advance, that I am thankful for whatever your are willing to do to help us out here, in this 'virtual village'! The situation is that readers are writing me that they are having trouble getting their responses up here. Their distress is real, for their time and energy are precious, as is all of ours. Below is an example of what I am receiving. These are not snarky remarks, but genuine concern. If you would respond, it would go a long way in people feeling heard. Thanks!
example: "Dr. Barker, I notice there is trouble specificalÂly with comments posting responding to your blog recently. I'm sure I'm being paranoid if I wonder if it has anything to do with how openly supportive you've tried to be of me."
Peace,
Cara
You - "Yes, "something vital to your well-being is seeking you. That something is pure Wisdom."
I'll find a spot in my planner for this one, next to many of Lawson's profoundly stated gems. They are game changers in this world we live in.
The desert has taught me that I am as it is; Dry, hot, cool, sandy, rocky, colorful, mountainous, self-sustaining, persevering, and walked on.
As for living my best dream, just to have this single breath of life and may it lead to another…
You have been on my mind. Now that you describe your relationship to the desert, (and the moment) it is even more clear to me why there is a resonance between us. I lived in the desert for three years. While I dragged my feet at first, it became one of my most important teachers. No small accident that the desert is mentioned so often when people are surrendering the old, (we simply cannot schlep it around in the heat and dryness) and surrender to a new reconstruction of life as we know it.
Here's to the desert, the single breath and your gift,
Cara
Ever since I needed to move from the music city to another mid west, it`s been three years and counting, it always felt like a part of me I left behind. These are the perks of being married to a workaholic husband. Leaving my friends ,my fellow musicians was hard, I was resentful . Thinking about it, is it really that bad ? No. It is friendly town ,and really the whole world is changing and no one has time any more . Being a bit anxious in nature I was looking for something besides meditation, which I was never was able to master. Other day I found a zen master, teacher of Wu tai chi, so far I was his only student . Who really knew just moving a bit would become a form of art. Normally I always remain mobile, hardly find time to sit down during the day . So this is a little change in my life I am really looking forward to when I stop and reflect..Love you too much Cara..Gypsy
I am relishing the moment when I've got a break today and can get back to what you say here, over a hot cup of Zen tea, (one of my favorites).
Meanwhile, so much joy your way!
Cara
Cara
Allow me to write to our friend h&h , thank you so much for your kindness ,I just wanted you toknow how much it means to me.
To both of you big Hugs.
My dear, I relate to your move, to your situation in the transition. Each time my husband's work has called for relocation, it meant for me, building a practice again, from ground zero, and dwelling in the void space, the liminal space while doing just that. I do believe each and every move are an opportunity for reinvention. The shedding takes us to our knees if we are really open. That said, my most difficult moves have turned out to be the most fruitful in discovering amazing hide treasure. Your zen master may turn out to be just that.
May I 'sit' with you, and hold you in my heart, my dream,
Cara
Time flows past us like a river. Every day, the river is different and every day it is the same. Nothing you do today is going to make the river different – it is bigger than we are, bigger than all of us are collectively. We can love the river and use its currents to move us where we want to go and use its bounty to feed us. Or we can hate it, fight it, resent it, and ultimately lose that fight. I’m thankful for this holiday season, but it’s one little part of the river that’s going to flow by, be experienced for what it is and be forgotten soon enough. For those who know the ways of the river, you never really miss anything.
Actually, I don't think you have used this illustration before. And, even if you have, we have so many people dropping by that what you offer always brings a breath of fresh air to the place for us each to enjoy.
What you write is simply so, so true. For me, I am ever thankful for the 'Great Underground River' that informs us with new life each breath, and a new opportunity to release those pesky 'wars down there' be they of individual or collective nature.
Our resistance, in the end, solves nothing, does it? Better to 'be here, now,' as Ram Dass is fond of saying and living!
To life, the River, Jeremiah, and YOU,
Cara
"Every day, the river is different and every day it is the same"
So many layers to comtemplate, so much depth... I have the will, but the time?
However, the message of "nowness" is certainly clear for all who are in the water, and you are spot on that being in the "now" is the same as being aware.
Thanks!
Lawson
to life, to you, to Sam, to shared Wisdom,
Cara
I email HP with some regularity and suggest they do the same with me, trying to leave a door open for more private communication, even if they were to tell me they just don't want me commenting here. I realize the things I talk about make people extremely uncomfortable.
I also know from personal experience if people will take the risk of considering it there are tremendous rewards.
Well, I just wrote you and it vanished. Back to the drawing board. What I want you to know is that it is my sincerest wish that you will keep writing. For, when personal experience is muted, it only logjams below, causing an unfortunate build up. Either way, what is in us seeks expression with good reason! We are here to make a difference.
Yes, it is risky to do what we do: express what is so from personal experience, (as opposed to an ivory tower theory which wards off connection). And yet, it is 'out here on the limb' of our own experience where the real fruit resides, and readies itself to be picked for those amongst the willing. When our Voice is muted, there is no chance for evolution, healing our advancement of the dream in waking time, as well as sleep.
Keep going. I am with you!
Cara
"..the arrival of proof that what you are seeking, is seeking you,"
this was especially fine for me.
And yes, we are a world in need of nurture, nourishment that reaches past superficialities.
Like you, I get a lot out of dreams, have kept dream journals throughout my adult life. My best dream would definitely have to do with people receiving that nurture, nourishment perfectly tailored to each of us.
Just saw this part of your response. I am grateful. For the record, I LOVE your best dream. It is my dream, too. In fact, I am devoting the entirety of 2012 to do my little part to offer what I can in this regard, here on the HP, and wherever I am. It is all about nourishing care: remembering what it really is, receiving it at the well, and paying it forward, sharing the cup of Living Waters with whoever wishes to quench their thirst, as well.
Peace be with you. Keep the ink flowing in those journals, my friend! Don't forget to include your demonstrations of the splendid that arrives!
Cara