According to my calendar, we have launched another new beginning, at least on paper. Funny, isn't it, that we imbue such power to one brief 24-hour period, between Dec. 31 and Jan. 1. Around the world we rally for another chance. We party. We light fireworks. The younger set makes resolutions. The older one puts them aside, knowing that most resolutions will be toast by February. But each of us, in the privacy of our own heart, feels the quickening of the "Eternal Return," the chance to put right what has gone wrong, to galvanize in the direction of life well-lived. Perhaps it is our need to put to rest what has not been heart friendly and begin anew to advance in the direction of what might bring more peace of mind.
The question is, are you ready? The question is, what will bring you peace of mind? Ready or not, the "Life Book" pages turn without consent. Who knows what will be inscribed on your blank pages by this time next year? One thing is for certain: surprise. Where will you be next January? Who knows? What will have transpired? Surely, there will be unplanned delights, from unexpected directions. New people will have entered your life, and others departed. There will be funerals and weddings, graduations and celebrations. There will be those who get bad news involving finances, jobs and health. Last year holds no monopoly on these conditions and circumstances. There will be phone calls you are happy to receive, and others, not so much. Surely there will be increasing opportunities to lend a hand, as well as times when you will need one yourself, times when you will need to rest, renew, re-evaluate the worth of a life well spent.
So, I ask you and me, right here, right now, how do you wish to receive the gift of this year? (It goes without saying that if you've gotten better at receiving this past year, your hands will be more open to gifts.) As the song "Seasons of Love" from the musical "Rent" suggests, we receive 525,600 minutes over the course of the coming year in which to choose. Some moments will be memorable as triumphs, others fraught with struggle.
Wherever you are as you read this, I think we can agree that the past four seasons, the past 525,600 minutes, have not been a lot of fun. A year's review of the news around the "Global Theatre" make this perfectly clear. Yet this does not take us off the hook from answering for ourselves: How do you wish to live? The year 2011 has given us endless opportunities to consider the answer. Much of last year's strife has been between the "haves" who wish to remain on top of the "caterpillar pillar" and the "have-nots" who feel disenfranchised from not only their voice, but from all manner of hope. So I repeat: How do you wish to live in a way that would bring peace of mind?
I'm with Rumi. He puts it this way:
"A shout comes out of my room
where I've been couped up."
We simply cannot enjoy peace of mind as long as what is most authentic in our nature has no room to move. We cannot enjoy peace of mind as long as we withhold self-compassion from you-know-who. We simply cannot enjoy peace of mind as long as we are encumbered by "oughts and shoulds." We simply cannot enjoy peace of mind as long as we allow ourselves to be held hostage by those who live in fear, mistrust, aggression and laziness.
One of our favorite guests here, at what gypsynomad has dubbed "Cara's Café," offers observation and useful questions. Lawson puts it beautifully:
"... What baggage we waddle through life with if we do not become aware of our burden. What keeps us from the changes that would reveal and instigate that better life to be lived? How to have the conscious mind dredge into and address those tales, half-truths, biases, and fears we drag along? What do we do to ensure the next generation is less weighed down and more aware? Just wondering.Â..
I am sticking with my heart."
Sticking with our heart. Me too, Lawson, me too! What would life be like, this year, if we were to release our old backpacks of self doubt and erroneous thinking? What if we dared to have fun? There, I've "gone and said" it. Yes, the F word: FUN. It seems as though with all the "seriousity" afoot, it seems almost a blasphemy to do so. But is it not a blasphemy to the gift of life if we do not enjoy what is before us? So, I ask: What would you do for fun, if you knew you could not fail?
My answer is that I would write my version of love letters for those who could use a reminder that you are loved "as is." While I can do nothing about international and local bullies, unless I am in the vicinity, I surely can take a stand for those who desire better treatment. While I can do nothing about the world economy, I can do something about fostering a deeper sense of inner prosperity and abundance. Yes, it might sound corny to cynics. Who cares? In fact, I am "upping the ante." I will illustrate each of them so that by Jan. 1, 2013, there will be a weekly illustrated letter waiting for those who wish them, just for fun. This, I claim as my next "Love Project." This is how I choose to spend the gift of New Year, 2012.
Naming intention. Were the two of us physically together, I might sit across from you, take your hands in mine, and have a "heart-to-heart." I would ask your intention for living out this year in a way that makes your heart sing. To prime the pump, here's mine:
My 2012 intention here, at HuffPost:
Let this be a place, increasingly, where love lives.
Let this be a time where you can lay aside the clock.
Let this tiny corner be a place in which to rest, find sanctuary, and
Lay down the burden of what's wrong in the world,
May we turn away from distractions.
Let this be a place where the voice of self-criticism is silenced, and
Graciousness and gratitude resounds.
Let this be a place to Witness
The Good* at work through humane connection.
Together, may our virtual community café flourish,
May this be a place where all are welcome, free to be themselves,
Free of the need to defend, or attack,
Free to simply be, to remember, to be cherished.
May this be our year, together,
To hear and heed the shout that's been couped up inside,
and give it room to sing.
(* by Good, capital "g," I am referring to that which is beyond the puny ego, that which cannot be explained by reason, but surely felt in the heart, whatever costume it wears, whatever language It speaks.)
Your turn: Describe your intention for the gift of this New Year. It need not be fancy, or long, just true. What would you do to bring fun alive? I'm listening!
For more by Dr. Cara Barker, click here.
For more on mindfulness, click here.
New: For those who have asked, the first copies of "The Love Project: Coming Home" will be available in several weeks, according to the university press.
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It would seem to me the same thing would hold true on pre judging. That, then means you must wait until all informatioÂn is in before you can decide"
Think upon this, my friends. Oh what marvels come to our cafe!!!
Cara
.
A great Martin Luther King Day to all. May we each define our dream in accord with our deepest heart Wisdom, and take action on it daily.
Cara
Love, Cara
I intend to use this new year to attend to my instincts. Upon recent reflection, I've come to the realization that in many of the difficulties I've found myself in the past, I often sensed that something just wasn't right when I first got involved.. But I didn't listen to my own mind issuing me a warning.
On top of that, I'm reinvigorating 3C avoidance. Complain, Criticize and Correct. I think I do pretty well with not complaining much. Criticizing is more difficult to curb. But my biggest focus has got to be to stop correcting people. No one asked me to do it and sometimes I don't really like it when someone does it to me. If everyone wants to pronounce the t in often, so be it. It's not my job!
Happy New Year Sis,
little brother
What a wise intention, you've got. All I know is that whenever I've overridden my instincts, caca awaits up ahead. Sometimes it takes longer than others to step into it, but it does wait for me, and to get the lesson learned. Everyday, consequently, I am aware of this same pattern at work when others share their stories of the same neglect of instincts. We are in it together.
Love your 3-C invigoration. In terms of the correcting people, I am reminded that even the Master Teachers did not attempt this feat without the person's request/permission. Perhaps we can take this intention on together. Slippage is only human. Let's celebrates our wins, no matter how big or small.
Much love your way, Little Brother,
Cara
Lotsa love,
me again,
little brother
I wasn't too sure why I found it hard to say something at first, now I realized that I just don't start the New Year with intentions. I see it more as a good opportunity or reminder to be open for what good may come along in this new period of time.
Your comment reminds me of many Zen teaching stories that have to do with enlightenment. The Cliff Notes version is that we must empty in order for the Universe to bring what is in our best interest. I say "good for you." You see? Just by following your own Way, you make Way.
Hoping that all Good announces Itself in the space you are leaving. Do let me/us know how your process unfolds over this year.
Blessings,
Cara
Thank you for the blessings. And have a good day for yourself, or at least a good part of the day to yourself.
I enjoyed this read. It helped with my new year "Upbeat".
I ended this last twelve months on a good note for me. I am physically able to do more that one year ago. My intention is to double my position for next year.
I am genuinely more content this last couple weeks. I have no idea why. I still rant and rave about the little things that bother me. Yet, the larger things that can "send me over the edge" don't seem to matter. I am sloughing off a lot without a second though.
I think I hear what may be a state of contentment that you are proposing in your words to us. i need directions to that place. I've never been content in my life. I always look for more no matter what we are talking about.
Point me in the right direction. Is contentment more that a psychological state of being? How do I work at achieving contentment? I perceive contentment as almost an exhaustion both physically and mentally. I see it and feel it as the period after you flop in a chair or in bed and the peace received when your muscles loosen and you brain blanks. I really don't know.
Thanks, I enjoyed this discussion by you.
My Regards,
Bill
Listen, my friend: it is SO helpful to hear your response. The fact that you begin with a year's end review reminds us all that facing the facts, and noting progress sets the stage nicely for where we are at present, and where we want to be. Nice boundaries. No wonder you are shedding what does not serve you.
Your question regarding contentment is simple yet profound. At least for me, I have found my own answer after a life long search, little bit by little bit. Every day is a new teaching. Perhaps what stands most in our way of 'arriving,' if there were such a thing is our human tendency to judge what 'is good and what is bad.' The judgment does not serve us, or change much, for it usually blocks us from not only acceptance, but rightful action, (meaning useful action.)
cont.
It would seem to me the same thing would hold true on pre judging. That, then means you must wait until all information is in before you can decide good or bad.
What is helpful is to take whatever comes as simply 'it is what it is.' Now, I know that this is a fad saying, and can be a dodge from real acceptance. The true test is when the seriously lousy (note the judgment) comes, and we ask ourself to accept what's come at face value. I find, and am finding, that when I do this, when I step back, wipe the ashes of my judgment off myself, and anyone else on which I've spewed them, then, and only then, am I free to make space for the Good to arrive. The Good may be as simple as the opportunity to breathe again, enjoy the freedom to do so, and do it again and again. From this, in time, perspective joins the party.
Contentment is a State of Consciousness. It is the state reflected in the old Finn hymn: "Be Still My Soul." Not the property of any religion, but rather an Awakening to what is beneath thoughts, angst, and even emotions. It is what is left when the rest is shed.
cont.
WOW, that will take some work but, I'm sure it can be done.
lyingtruth Commented 8 hours ago
""Hmmmm" The fact is that some mods do not rate comments based
on guidelines but on their personal feelings. They have no idea
whether we have ongoing dialogue that includes satire or some
teasing. This type of (Judge Roy Bean) judgement is
unprofessional, unfair and un-American...! This blog is
probably the least likely place for people to write abusive
posts. I know, I comb this site frequently, and all you have to
do is click on a story about Republicans to see what abusive
is."
for lying truth:
I agree with you, lying truth, and applaud your sentiments, and courage to speak up. The challenge around the printed word, is surely that we cannot hear adequately the tone behind it. It is my experience that the comments people make on this site are incredibly supportive, connected, and insightful to others. Thank you for the gift you give up. Perhaps one needs to be a visitor here over time to realize just how 'right on' your message is. I, for one, am ever grateful.
all best wishes, lying truth, and appreciation, as well, to gypsy,
Cara
My intention for the gift of this New Year - thank you for the great question - to be emboldened to be more fully who I am, in the full measure of my joy and fun, wit and wisdom, creative expression and love.
And any more that Life calls out to me to Be. I am willing and I am waiting!
Abundant blessings of joy to you,
Anne
I am so sorry I was gone when you wrote your piece. These have been busy times, indeed. I know you know what I mean.
Regarding your intention: may I say that I say 'ditto.' What marvelous words: emboldened, full measure, joy and fun, with and wisdom. As for creative expression of love, we could not be more on the same page. What stands out, equally, for me is the joy and fun part. Yes, let's do!!!! who can't use more of this????
Love your way, Anne, and to your mama,
Cara
All love and blessings to you,
Anne
And it is to hear the voice of my beloved beckoning me.
The question you continue to pose, Pratitya, is perhaps, the most profound of all. We think we know the answer, but all that is simply belief. The answer lies beneath, at the bottom of the well.
As for listening for the Voice of "my beloved beckoning..." well, what can be said? May we dwell in the Listening to the Beloved, for then the truth is known: there is nothing to fear.
Peace your way,
Cara
Cara's Cafe could not be a better name for the environment you've created here. But then, it's no surprise as the context of an intimate, safe gathering place is exactly who you are and what you've always created. One earlier (or perhaps current?) iteration is called "Sanctuary". Another, The Mother House. It's the kind of space that welcomes the "world weary", another prior theme of yours.
I am blessed to have been an occupant of your "cafe-ness" for many decades now and celebrate our shared intentions to have this year reflect a desire to "give it a rest" and have fun. Sounds like a plan to me!
And on that note, do check your voicemail as I have a "fun" alternative to Spain in the wings. How does Greece sound?
Winging my way to #70...... you know what I mean.
Much love,
Judith
Greece? Are you kidding? I am LOVING it...one of my favorite, favorite places on the face of this planet!!!!!
As for the Cafe, it would not be the same without your cup next to mine. Get yours out for our next tea party!!!
So much love and gratitude your way,
Cara
a great New Year your way,
Cara
p.s. Love your by-line
Long story short here, a client at the shelter was shot and killed on New Years day, on Tuesday, a friend/neighbor's mother passed away, on Thursday, a neighbor across the street committed suicide, and on Friday, another friend/neighbor's dog was diagnosed with terminal cancer. This was all almost too much to process.
After much contemplation, I decided that there was nothing I could have done, or could do to alter any of these events. So, without guilt, I decided to move on, and make the other 51 weeks of this year better. I have new opportunities to re-connect with friends, and enjoy my racing activities, so that's what I'll do.
As for "Cara's Cafe", I'd like to nominate Gypsynomad as the official greeter. She's become a kind and thoughtful friend. My best to all in the "Cafe". And thank you from Tess the Wonderdog.
Paul (aka Upthewazooforus)
I was just thinking of you yesterday, wondering how you are. Good for you in the reactivation of passion department. This bilateral stroke of yours, I cannot even imagine. What I can say is the fact that you are here, stepping up, so to speak, inspires me greatly.
As for your project: this is a magnificent Love Project, if ever there were one. In fact, I know personally how much those letters will be appreciated. Long ago and far away, I was stationed at Walter Reed. Walking along the path outside it, on the way to the hospital, I reached a literal fork in the road (a back path). That very fork, and my relationship to it, changed my life for the Good.
Peace, joy and laughter be yours, Shirley,
Cara
I am still on a web fast, but on occasional I become weak and compelled to post; as if commenting were a box of Woodhouse Chocolates sitting on my desk.
"We simply cannot enjoy peace of mind as long as we are encumbered by "oughts and shoulds."
This is the important statement here. Sorry, but I feel revitalized with the strength not to post...!
BTW, lyingtruth, no apologies EVER needed on this site. As long as we are following and living our own truth, what more can be asked? Of course you are missed when not here, but who you are, the heart and soul of who you are remains, anyway.
I am singing your praises,
Cara
But in here we have a box of chocolate waiting for you,all you have to do is come over and grab some...;)
We don't do NY resolutions however we, individually, look back over the old year and deal with mistakes and look at where we could have done better. Sometimes we discuss with each other though I usually write in my journal. My brother can be hard on himself and my dad took reflecting seriously. My mom is much more lighthearted.
My mom is so excited about her first grandchild arriving this summer. She has a nursery already set up in her home as she expects to do a lot of baby sitting so the new year will bring a new life to our family.
I'm taking baby steps Cara feeling my dad's loving presence around me always smiling. I grateful for the loving family I grew up in.
What a great group of people you have on your blogs Cara. Glad to have found you as you are a breath of fresh air in these days of doom and gloom. And thanks for giving me substance to mill over today and in the days to come.
Wishing you all the best in 2012 whatever it brings.
ps: I get your message on Rent but did not like the play.
Believe me, when I say it is nice to see you, too! As for the last article, worry not. All of them are in the HP Archives, should you want to catch it there.
While I was with my cousin who lost his only son last year on Christmas Eve ( a plane crash while on his way to give medical help to others,) I thought of you and your family and that empty chair, and sent you my love. Hope you felt the 'shipment.'
I am so happy to hear about eh coming birth. This will be the best medicine possible for your family. There's nothing like a baby in the house to remind us that life is in the moment. I adore being a grandma, I can tell you that.
Yes, this community leaves me in awe and gratitude. I just love these people, and am glad you are finding a place at the table!
Only the best your way, today, and throughout the New Year,
Cara
I want you to consider a favor, Arithrianos: please consider dropping the label of 'gibberish' when describing your Voice. Yours is splendid. Never gibberish, always genuine. You are the 'real deal.' I thank you for your find words. I, too, find this cafe a place of restbit from the snarkdom that permeates our real, costuming itself as real. I am in your debt, and all our visitors here. Our world desperately needs a safe place in which to re-member who we REALLY are, a place of peace, and outreach, connection, and encouragement. We all need Good News.
Love and blessings your way,
Cara
All kidding aside, you are right, and I look for to Arithrianos's comments.
I am soooo happy to know your name. How accurate! As I am from the Order of Ruth, it is clear to me why it is we resonate!!!!
This time on the earth should be dubbed Ruth's Way. It is our only way to healing the wounds of the heart.
I am with you, Ruth,
Cara