There is something in the human soul that will not rest until liberated. Sooner or later, that which is the Spirit of Man arises from the depths of our Being, insists on being heard. Like the soaring Phoenix from Its ashes, whatever we once believed to be hopeless in our selves and in our lives is overthrown from its tyranny. The king is dead. Long live the king. It is just a matter of time. Some believe the process must be accomplished in a single lifetime. Others argue for multiple incarnations. But, regardless where you stand on how long it takes for your inner life to become a magnificent composer of your outer, the day comes when the jig is up for our ego. Says Mark Nepo, "You must meet the outer world with your inner world. Or existence will crush you."
Sooner or later, whatever longs for liberation in your heart will not be denied. Beneath your conscious radar, your interior state begins galvanizing life force, "strategizing" its demonstration for its Right to Be. Until this moment, pretending to be smaller than you are continues to ruin your day.
An Archetypal Pattern
The most recent coverage of the crisis in Egypt might as well have been an aerial view of the human psyche. As "the word got out" that "the time had come" to throw off the shackles of subservience to brutality, numbers grew, increasing masses marching through the streets, day after day, hundreds of thousands of human beings, refusing either to be silenced, or devalued.
So, too, is this the pattern in our own inner life. Whenever the ego (our dwarfed belief about who we are) becomes too calcified, and deadened, underground Life Force, previously housed within the unlived and unexamined life, begins to hear Its own previously muted Voice growing louder until it roars. When this happens, it is a game changer. Identity takes on new dimensions. There is a "dancing in the street" for the part of you that has yearned to blossom from that restricted bud, now insisting that it comes alive.
As a practical matter, how can you bring this about in whatever area of your life where you are living smaller than is needed? I am reminded of a metaphorical story told by one of the Master Teachers. Once, when His followers "had their knickers in a twist," as the Brits are fond of putting it, the tale goes as follows: The Teacher came upon his students at the seashore. It was nightfall. He could see that the men were in a state of distress out in their fishing boat.
And so He inquired, "How's the fishing?" They responded with discouragement and empty nets. Their Teacher replied, "Throw your net on the right side of the boat." They did as directed. This time, the fish were so plentiful in the net that they couldn't haul it easily into the boat. If you are not creating what you want from your life, either in your well-being, relationships, wallet or area of contribution, check where you've placed your net. That is, reconsider where you are operating from self-limiting beliefs.
What does this say for us? The teaching has to do with our thinking. You may be operating in the dark. If you are not getting what you want, if you are feeling hamstrung, rather than liberated, today, then "throw your net on the right side of the boat." This means reframe how you are seeing your situation, from a larger point-of-view. Bring some critical thinking to the situation, not only from your head, but from your heart. Yes, heart: the font of Wisdom.
For you concrete thinkers, let me illustrate. Once, when a fellow therapist was stuck with the next great leap of faith in her life, Helen painted a picture from the unconscious. (This is one method we Jungian Analysts use, sometimes, to decode helpful messages from the unconscious, which attempts, symbolically, to recast a more fruitful net. At other times, we consult psyche's wisdom through examining dreams and body symptoms as other forms of messengers.) Clueless as to what Helen's spontaneous painting might mean, a fellow analyst, Robert Johnson, told her, "Give it a quarter turn, Helen." She did so. Immediately, from this angle, she "saw" intuitively what she needed to do to bring joy and ease into her situation. The whole exercise led her to taking a sizeable step in liberating her life from constriction. Over time, one step at a time, she went on to form a community in Michigan which enriched the lives of thousands before her death on Epiphany Sunday at 92.
"Throw your net on the right side of the boat"
It is your divine right to be happy and free. Receiving your birthright begins in the arms of self-compassion. Whenever you find yourself holding back your Truth, your dance, your expression of your most Authentic Self or your laughter, look for tyrannical ego at work which leaves you empty-handed, joyless.
Whenever you or anyone else feels oppressed by any person, place or condition, the remedy begins with accepting the Five Truths to Liberation:
Listen in on the lyrics to the theme song from a film about one such man whose life illustrates these Five Truths to Liberation, both as a world-class fighter and as a hero in the fight against Parkinson's Disease. His name is Muhammad Ali. Written by Andy Marvel, Amy Powers, and Ardie Roman Liadella Music and W&R Group, performed by Brian McKnight & Diana King, it is entitled "When We Were Kings":
"In every heart, there is a drum that beats.
Steady and strong, it does not know defeat.
I feel it pound, and know the sound of true belief.
In every soul, there is a memory
Of standing tall,
The proudest we could be.
I cannot fall, for I recall
We were born in majesty.
And, in the long night, which we have fought and won,
We will stand in the sun.
And we will raise our hands.
We will touch the sky.
Together, we will dance in rows of gold.
And we will lead the world in remembering
That we were kings...
Now is the time.
Here is the mountain top.
When one man climbs,
The rest are lifted up....
To a higher destiny..."
A useful spiritual practice when you are playing smaller than you are:
Your turn: Whose journey to the mountaintop has most inspired you? That is, who has uplifted you? How? For example, one Huffington Post reader, 49, wrote me that his "Uncle Charlie" inspired him by "stepping in when my father wasn't there for me as a little boy. He taught me how to tie a double Windsor Knot. Another teacher inspired me by always encouraging me, and telling me I was smart enough to do whatever I wanted. He was my hero, too." We do not liberate ourselves alone. Who has "been there" in a way that has shifted your net?
I'm listening...
For more, see carabarker.net. For updates, contact me at carabarker.net, or dr.carabarker@gmail; to save time, click on "Become a Fan." Stay tuned for upcoming developments on The Love Project, including "Practicing Love."
Follow Dr. Cara Barker on Twitter: www.twitter.com/DrCaraBarker
Rabbi Geoffrey A. Mitelman: The Need for Self-Compassion
Thoughts & Serendipity: Paths to a Personal Liberation
I just got online, (I've got a publishing deadline on a a manuscript) and found you here. What a treat. So must have been your papa, and now, your brother. (I always wanted a brother.) You know, gypsy, I can't help but think how proud your family must be of you, whether still here, or 'smiling from a far, beyond the veil. This fine family is surely showing itself through your incredible way of being so authentic in this world, too often, about spin and glitz. There's something that feels so deeply connected when you speak of yours. What a marvelous home that welcomes all as guest. Ah, what a model for our world.
Today, I am not only grateful for you, but I add to the list, your family as well.
Much love,
Cara
A little off topic, all I am guilty of is spamming, I posted this to a friend and You on your previous thread, so deep and beautiful ,here it is again. I will be back tomorrow on topic..enjoy...
Pink…Who Knew
- http://wwwÂ.youtube.cÂom/watch?vÂ=eHhNYfSQDÂ5M
Hugs your way. I'm off to bed as tomorrow is a 4am wake-up.
Love,
Cara
Your devotion to the journey is showing, and warming.
Joy your way,
Cara
Harold is the standard by which I measure my honor, goodness and loyalty. I measure up pretty well. But I might not be doing so without his example. He's been gone for over 30 years and I still miss him. It's not a WWHD thing. It's more "what would Harold think if I did that?"
Of late, it all started with Ed and Deb's article from two years ago which asked, "How do you treat your waitress?" Since I was a kid I've known that you can tell some of the most important things about a person by watching how they treat their waitress.` From there, I discovered you , Anne, Judith, Kara and Janice all of whom I read somewhat regularly. From you particularly, I've learned to trust what I know deep down rather than accept what's being presented. And there's a whole lot of presenting going on all around all the time.
I intend to figure out what I believe. I'm pretty sure that I live by some beliefs that I acquired during young childhood and I've never questioned them and so I adhere to them now. I'd like to stop doing that. At least now I question what I believe, just to make sure it isn't from unreasonable reasoning..
Love,
little brother
I am so grateful to Harold. It sounds like he has been a very truthful gold bearer. That you have come to the precious place of questioning is sheer gold. That endeavor 'makes space,' opening heart, clearing mind to the 'what-is-ness' of the moment. In fact, it is nothing short of making the moment a best friend, a guide, a reflection of the abundance of life. I love the way you say it, little brother: " know(ing deep down rather than accept(ing) what's being presented... And, there's a whole lot of presenting going on all around all the time..." Yes, and yes, again. Think Wisconsin, for example, these days. The spin-meister would have us believe one thing, and the essential truth for those marchers, be quite another."
How vital it is to let go the presentation, and allow in the vitality of sheer Life itself.
I am thankful to you, and to Harold. With love,
Cara
P.S. What's 'WWHD'? I'm wondering.............. See, you teach me on many levels, little brother!
"What Would Harold Do? lifted from the WWJD? thing.
Living smaller than is needed – what a concept! Too often, too many people settle for the restrictions plastered around them over time; becoming comfortable with an illusion of completeness; failing to see the holes in their soul. The opposite for me, living larger, means expanding into my potentials and capabilities, while striving to develop my own genius in the art of living well.
I would agree with Anne’s comment below that there were many who served to influence: some directly with intent, and more, as a result of my reading and observations, without awareness of their impact. My soul’s liberation is work in progress; it reminds me of an Ella Wheeler Wilcox quote:
“There is no chance, no destiny, no fate, that can circumvent or hinder or control the firm resolve of a determined soul.â€
Each of us has the choice to dig a hole, or climb a mountain. Like Jackandcoke said below, “I realize it’s me who controls what I want and the outcomes I desire.†Otherwise we surely are prisoners in caves we dug ourselves; huddling in the dark, fearful of what would be revealed if we took to heart Socrates’ warning, and examined our lives.
Your "Five Truths to Liberation" are now part of my instruction set.
A couple of snow shovels full of appreciation for a wonderful article!
Lawson Meadows
Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. These past weeks are unbelievable!
Re your important response: Yes, we do settle, don't we. It is so easy, I know, for I have found myself doing likewise more times that I might want to admit. The problem is that when I have, I have noted that this choice only leaves the feeling of flatness, a gradual muting of all that makes life worth living.
So, I'm with you. Expansion is where it is at if we want to feel alive, want to know the beauty and adventure of being alive, and the deep satisfaction of contribution. It is a creative endeavor, after all. Thank you, therefore for the wonderful quote. It is a winner, just like you.
In fact, I'm going to cook on your addition, here, and see what happens in the incubation of it all, even if I did just mix metaphors.
Wishing you truckloads of rainbows,
Cara
Who has been here for me? It is amazing how people have always shown up at the perfect moment for me. There has not been one single one. There have been a great number.
In fact, as I scan events, I recall so many because I am not one who has made plans and followed them to the letter. I seem in a certain way to have cast my lot on the shores of humanity, and humanity has always responded beautifully - often in ways I could never have imagined in my wildest dreams.
All of of which has probably led to me knowing that we do live in a remarkable world with many extraordinary people living on it.
Beautiful article, thank you!
Huge love and blessings to you,
Anne
My dear, you are a wonder. What a grateful heart you have. No small wonder that you are such an inspiration. I believe that the reason you've had such a parade to your door is that, quite simply, your door is open and welcoming of that which it part of the Great Good. You welcome it. It finds you.
Casting our net "on the shores of humanity" says the whole story. Seeing the beauty, where others find garbage is quite a mastery, particularly when the lemmings are so convinced it cannot be so.
You are so dear to my heart. I am so grateful.
Cara
Gratefully,
Cara
Blessings to you,
Anne
Recent self-examination and my new way of being have brought me to my connection with those West Indian immigrant relatives who came before me. It has helped me see what’s missing in my own life, or as a friend would say, “Where I’ve placed my net.†Theirs is a common theme, of a conquering spirit and unwavering perseverance. The storms of life were no match for them. While their struggles aren’t mine the way they met them and rose above them are. My grandfather used to say to my mother, “Don’t worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon.â€
This brings me to my new way of being as I said earlier. I realize it’s me who controls what I want and the outcomes I desire. I just have to cast my net on that side.
You are more than kind. West Indian immigrant relatives? Oh, this sounds like a most enticing story to those of us with immigration stories in the recent background. How brave these folks were. For example, my own grandfather lost 2 of his 3 children and his wife within two weeks of landing in America. To go on, as the immigrant is challenged to do, takes such courage.
The conquering Spirit, and unwavering intention to press on, is stunning, isn't? These people of yours did not settle. How blessed we are to come from such roots. As for your grandpa's statement: it is beyond priceless. I just may quote him. What was his name?
Jackandcoke, somehow, I do suspect your grandfather would be looking down on you with a very wide grin, so very proud of who you are, of how you inspire, of how you grab hold the reigns of life and have your wagon headed in a most worthy direction.
Adoring you, as always, and your ancestors, too,
Cara
Apparently your grandfathers' wisdom was a genetic trait; seeing what is missing in your life is a gift. Knowing what you truly want and desire at the least shows you which direction to throw that net, and when combined with the vitality of spirit (one of the five elements necessary for a fulfilled and abundant life), you can maintain consistent persistence while you "load your wagon" in pursuit of your journey.
Lawson
PS: I saw you reply, but it has yet to display in this thread ??? Try again, and expand it a bit if you would…
How lucky your children are, Primadonna. To have a mama who is inspired by who you are, is simply the best. I've often thought that if parents would only 'light up' with appreciation when their child walks into the room, we therapists would be out of business, and this would be a really good thing.
Your net has surely been well cast, my dear. What a story. Not only are your children resilient, but so is their mama. Sometimes, it IS so hard to believe the situations of imprisonment are possible in this day and age, and yet, the consciousness of the world awaits its awakening. Until that time, the world is riddled with what is, at times, overwhelming. I am so, so thankful yo perservered. I've said it again, and I say it again: you are a Light. Every time I hear from you, my Spirit is lifted once again. I have the strongest feeling that your work in the world has 'only just begun.'
Where did you live in Colorado? I did a 'stint' there, myself. What did you do in broadcasting?
Thanks for mothering such amazing children, and our hearts, as well,
Cara
It woke me up. It had me experience and see life more deeply. It had me make choices I never thought I would make, many of them in support of giving my life to what calls me day to day. It made me aware that the rules and structures to which we hold so dearly in this life are simply constructs we have made up. We can choose to make up new ones and to live according to our individual blueprint - that precious design that calls us to first know ourSelf intimately, then apply its gifts and fulfill its potential.
So, the path is definitely not without its challenges and certainly, we must see both what calls us forward and what holds us back but all in all, it is a road more interesting and evolutionary than any set of guidelines set outside the Self.
Your story is so touching. And, your family sounds like quite a 'swat team.' Isn't it something, how some families run away from adversity, and others become a "MASH' unit? Your family is an inspiration.
As for you, the wake-up call comes for all of us, but too many press the snooze alarm, roll over, and never awaken. The fact that you did otherwise, is most impressive. The truth is that it shows all the time in your writing, your way of sharing, your way of being a Light-bearer in our world.
You are so right. We take our self-created constructs and forget their source, hamstringing ourselves in the poor bargain. Then, every once in a while, someone comes along and reminds us, by how they live, that we have choice, we can revise our story. You, Kathleen, are such a teacher. Bravo.
The beauty about this path, to name one, is that we are not alone. I am so grateful we are on it together.
With love and awe,
Cara
You remind me so much of Anne Naylor: a shared generous and grateful heart, indeed. As for your personal comments, the truth is I cannot take credit. The way I see it is we are each part of that one Great Love, which is always pushing to express through us, urging that our Voice not be muted, nudging us to give ourselves permission to step up, speak out, create from the heart of love. Perhaps, this, in part, is why Peace Pilgrim is so inspiring. She not only 'heard' her Call, she honored it by getting her 'show on the road.' Hers is a way of simplicity, and so it goes underneath the radar of our monkey minds which protest that simple does not count, and speaks directly to the human Spirit. She teaches that more is not necessarily better, that less is often the Source to the gold. She is the Pearl of Great Price. As for your granddaughter, I do suspect she came right to the door of your heart right on schedule. As my own grandmothers had died before my birth, I know what it means to wish your nana were around. You are the right grandma for this precious new life, who honors the human condition. Like Weihenmayer, you are not blind to what matters. May all joy be yours, in this new role, and hers, in your well-practiced arms,
Cara
Love,
Cara
Bless you for your humor, Master A. It is a healing remedy too often overlooked.
I find myself so often saying to you : '"You are so right." There's a reason for this. You have a masterful way of zinging into the truth of the matter. Yes, no one liberates us but ourselves. And, yes, we are not alone in the process. We are 'in the soup' with all sentient beings. Frankly, I wish you would get crackin' on writing that book. You have a 'way' about you, and I don't believe your job is to hoard such talent! Get those empty pages out, my friend, and let that Best Self rip. We need you so, so much, here on Planet Earth. And, while we are at it, thanks for the mention of Terry Pratchett. I know just what you mean.
With much love to your Best Self, and deep appreciation to the Other, who makes way,
Cara
~No one else can free me, but me~ for me that applies to a great length. My high level of tolerance for people and friends I care, gets in my way, I take it even when they beat me down, suffer for that and eventually after a long while, I free myself anyways ...but enduring and trusting too much gets in my way always but I am too old to chage...what a pickle I am in..........Gypsy
Well, the first person who comes to mind for me in the "uplifting" department is my best friend. She's been there for me in myriads of ways over the course of 35 years. We've walked down many long, narrow hallways together and climbed many mountains. We've grown older, watched our kids get married, have babies, and suffered the loss of a child.
There has been no one in my life quite like this person. She continues to inspire me uplift me. I thank God for her everyday!
Thank you for this most inspiring and uplifting article. You remind me a LOT of my friend,......
Best love,
Judith
Here's what's clear: your best friend, is so, so fortunate. She should be on her knees, if she's not already, thanking her lucky stars for such an honor. The truth is that the older I get, the more I appreciate what a true honor it is to be welcomed, without condition or agenda, into another human being's heart, and to be granted, yet another, to walk down narrow hallways, through all that life brings, bearing Witness to the majesty of the human soul, at work in the world, in such amazing ways. This Schoolhouse is so demanding. That the Divine created space for us to have best friends, is simply one of the best gifts, right up there with the gift of Life, itself, in the present moment.
How I do adore you,
Cara
P.S. I believe I smell a blog coming on for Moi. Stay tuned
What I do notice, Majestry, is this: that while you work hard in your struggle, some of those 'chains' you describe appear to be breaking. I want you to know that I wish you the very best.
Peace your way, and freedom, too,
Cara
Those who were able to open my eyes to the fact that the tyrannical ego owes its pseudo-superior stance only to the benefit of hindsight.
In truth it is the tyrannical ego that has all these worries about woulda coulda shoulda. When given the chance to act and do something authentic, it knows nothing. Only the best self can act from there. Because 'truth is in the step'. To be sure, these may be tiny steps. The impact will be large only when many act in sync or with common goals, as in egypt. But it doesn't have to be.
Ah, as for woulda coulda shoulda, they occupy so much space as unpaying renters, don't they? As for me, I absolutely love baby steps. They are the only way I've ever managed to get back on the Path when I've allowed myself to get derailed, the only way I've come to self-forgiveness. I do believe the tiny steps are the true steps, the grand steps, that lead us back to what counts.
Which tiny steps are you taking today, Diogenes? I'm listening, if you're game...........
Love,
Cara
Tiny steps for the moon, but grand steps for the breaking wave and the surfer. But breaking waves are ok, who needs a tsunami?