Town Halls: 7 Tips for Handling Conflict

"These town hall tirades and guys carrying guns outside them 'because they can' are driving me crazy," Marnie told me during her consultation session. "They push my 'can't-stand-conflict' button, big-time! I want to run but can't. This is the world we live in."

A few hours later, Norm, a 61 year old leader in his field, mentioned the same theme. "These fat guys screaming at town halls are like rabid animals, tearing away any semblance of any bridge that might actually bring opposing sides together to repair what's so badly broken. They remind me of guys at work who prefer shouting matches to the harder work of listening. What can you do in situations like this?"

By the last session of the day, this theme continued, with 53 yo MaryAnn, a deacon in her parish: "These town hall gymnastics are really stirring up a hornet's nest. Not only out there, in the world, but here, (pointing) in my gut. The shouters are like some of the people on our board, and in the congregation. You can count on them to outshout a fire engine! They're more interested in hearing themselves than healing the dispute, just like my family at Thanksgiving when the subject of politics or religion pops up. I never know what to do, and get worked up inside."

How About You?

Even though you might not be in private practice, hearing people's stories, my guess is that you've overheard a lot of commentary these days about the aforementioned temper tantrums, and the related anxiety the controversy is causing. In fact, you might have overheard yourself voicing upset over these antics, and be feeling the fallout, in your body . Unresolved issues affect us all. Not only is our health care program at stake, but so is our own state of health.

Conflict, Peace keeping and You

Let's take the comments voiced by the three clients above. On the mental level, each has their own spin about the town hall buzz. On deeper levels, each is registering discomfort with conflict itself. The bad news is that if we don't get a handle on how to deal with conflict, we not only make a bigger mess in the world, but we set up conditions in our body that send toxins like cortisol racing through our bloodstream. In short, we lay the groundwork for greater acidity, inflammation, decreased immune function, and frazzled telomeres. Ask Dr. Oz. This is definitely not good.

That said, the good news is -- we do need it after all -- that we can get better at dealing with conflict. And this is saying something coming from me. My family will tell you that for much of my life, I've been a card-carrying peace-keeper. What I can tell the rest of you peace-keepers out there, is that we pay too big a price when we swallow our own truth. It has a nasty way of creating indigestion on every level of health: physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual. There aren't enough Tums to soothe the upset that's brewing in our national gut, either.

What's the Takeaway?

We don't have to feel powerless over conflict. Honestly, if I can get this, anyone can. Heaven knows I've spent years trying to do otherwise! I'm not saying that you have to run around looking for conflict, and sing 'goody goody' when you've found it. All I'm saying is that we don't have to turn over our power to conflict-evoking situations at town halls, work, board meetings or Thanksgiving dinners with adversarial relatives. All I'm saying is that our present political skirmishes might offer us a few useful tips in dealing with our own conflicts. After all, negative role models can be mighty powerful teachers to do otherwise, and behave better.

Take a gander at what the trio learned and put into place:

• Several days after Marnie identified her real reaction to conflict, she rallied the guts to put those conflict-mongers at work on notice. "Look," she said, "by now you know that I check-out when there's conflict. From now on, when I'm running meetings, I expect that anyone who's got a 'bone to pick' with someone else will offer a solution at the same time. Otherwise, it stirs us all up in a way that diminishes our effectiveness. If you've got 'a beef,' fine. Just be prepared to present a solution, or don't raise the issue until you have one." Privately, two co-workers thanked her for "having the guts to do what I wouldn't have done."
• Since Norm happens to be the boss, he put the 'shouters' on notice by instituting a new protocol. Here's what he invented: a 'listening step' for meetings called 'walk a mile in my shoes.' After each 'side' presents its conflicting opinion, he has the 'opposing side,' put themselves in the shoes of the 'loyal opposition.' They are then required to paraphrase what they heard in ways that seem accurate, and unbiased by the original speaker. While the exercise is taking time on the front end, Norm tells me that people are appreciating that failing to listen accurately is at the root of most of their problems. After the initial covert resistance to his strategy, humor showed up by the end of the meeting.
• MaryAnn has put her family on notice for Thanksgiving 2009, by sending out a letter. Since she is hosting this year, she has claimed a theme for the dinner, called 'Gratitude.' Her letter lets everyone know that she welcomes anyone who will actively bring this attitude to the event, focusing on what they are thankful for with one another, appreciating what they hold in common. She's done likewise with the church Board.

7 Tips for Handling Conflict

1. Agree to disagree. Speak the truth that sets you free, right out there in 'front of God
God and everyone.

2. State your position in a way that does no harm. For example: "My point-of-view is ______. You and I have different ways of looking at the same topic. That's O.K."

3. Go for consensus. e.g. "Can we agree to disagree without name-calling or throwing stones? Are we willing in order to reach the best possible solution we can for now?"

4. If you, or anyone else is too amped up to calmly listen to one another, postpone until cooler minds prevail. Go for a 20 minute walk. Disengage until your blood pressure and pulse are in a healthy state.

5. Lasting resolution is never found when one or more parties is in a complex, which, by definition, renders one temporarily, psychologically 'blind' to any other perspective.

6. Witnessing yourself is a good plan if you want to live a more expansive, meaningful life.
Recently, Bill Mahr quipped: "Either you are a sentient being, or one of the lizard people." The fact is that if we are hell-bent in 'proving someone wrong,' we are operating from what Paul MacLean coined 'the Reptilian brain.' (Think burping, pooping, aggression, eating, sleeping, etc., lower brain stem activity.) Conflict resolution does not live in this neighborhood. It does require, however, baseline conditions of safety to be met if we are ever going to get to 'higher smarts,' i.e. neocortex, frontal lobe activity. Here's where creative resolution lives.

7. If someone is acting in a provocatively aggressive way to fan the flames of conflict, they are operating out of fear, not faith. Take Caribou Barbie, for instance, who misrepresents health care reform as something that would snuff out baby 'Twigs' and grannies with nary a care. Anyone who deliberately misrepresents the situation to terrorize the frail and disadvantaged has disconnected from the power of love which seeks to heal, not hurt. Step away -- far, far away from such a person. Save yourself on this Titanic.

Although I am on vacation, I'd love to hear from you! What are your tips for handling conflict? Send your stories, links, and lessons. I'm listening! Please forward to your circle, as I've not joined Twitterville, and appreciate all the help I can get in people reaching people who care about our world. Love and joy, Cara.

Comments

[DjCleary]

What if you have to work with a supervisor who is #7..i.e. doing whatever he can to twist (or completely lie) about what you have done and are doing in order to get rid of you. He has complete control over my career and if I leave this job, there is a very, very high chance that I will have to switch careers after 17 years of working towards being in this one. I sincerely dislike him, have lost all respect for him and he seems to enjoy the conflict and bad-mouthing me to others. I have to get his approval to move forward on a major project and all I want to do is avoid him (but I continue to try to communicate with him even though he has been giving me the silent treatment for 2 weeks).

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

I'm not sure, DjCleary, what to suggest, as I'm not in the situation. Of course, the better part of me is responding that, no doubt, you are attracting in a better situation than what you've got if you end up in a new workplace. I do not doubt this for a nanosecond.

By the same token, I do appreciate, immensely, the tricky spot you are in. I think it might be wise to protect yourself by saying something like the following:
"Mr. Supervisor, I've been thinking about our shared situation in our work ehre. We may disagree sometimes, however, I am certain that what we have as common ground is that we both want to do our very best work. This next project is a case in point. Perhaps you can find a time on your schedule over the next week when we can lay out the foundation that will ensure success."

The reality is that it pays to be streetsmart. Meanwhile, know that you are worth a lot of respect. Keep your eyes open for a better position. Meanwhile, do what you can to cover your backside, and care for your heart.

Best regards. I'm rooting for you,
Cara

[dhyland]

Cara,

Another thought...

A great resource on this topic of dealing well with conflict is the New York Times bestseller _Crucial Conversations: How to Talk When Stakes are High_. I facilitate a licensed training based on this book, and what I appreciate most about the body of work is that sincere compassion for others and personal responsibility for how I see/interpret things are central themes. The skills are great, but the designers acknowledge that without a change of heart, skills are manipulation and fall shallow.

Offered in love,
Dawnelle

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Beautiful addition, Dawnelle. I'm going to check it out, myself. I so appreciate it when writers offer us specifics.

speaking of which, the image you offered of the front porch, and what is happening here, in the Web format, is wonderful. I remember back in the 40's, 50's and early 60's how we used to meet with family and friends outside, at the end of the day, and listen to one another. These are beautiful memories, including disagreements reconciled.

Much love your way, and thanks for stirring my own memories,
Cara

[dhyland]

Cara and all,

I've read this post, and the whole thread, several times. I appreciate so much you bringing this to the foreground. What strikes me is that Cara, you, and a few others along with many dedicated readers have created something of our own "online town hall. "When I was growing up, I spent a lot of time visiting my grandparents. Neighbors used to come sit under the carport or on the front porch "for a spell" and talk about life. That's what's happening here. I appreciate the depth, candor, and respect I have seen displayed from most of the comments here. I'm happy to have you all as my "neighbors."

Here's another Tip: Recognize that underneath most complaints is a sincere commitment to something of value.

I heard this several years ago, and haven't forgotten it. It has helped me to work through all kinds conflict with compassion. When I'm at my best, I've learned to listen to what's going on under the water line, so to speak. Usually, as you've shared, Cara, I hear fear. What I also hear, below the fear, is heart. Now, that may sound pollyanna, but I'll tell you, it's worked most of the time--better than the alternative of throwing up my hands and saying "I'm done." If I really get that we're all in this world together & impact one another in ways seen and unseen, "I'm done" is, ultimately, a lose-lose several times over.


In gratitude,
Dawnelle

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Dawnelle, you are such a source of inspiration. Your insights are impactful, and so necessary to take in, digest, assimilate. I, too, hear fear beneath the waterline, and heart beneath that. You are a shining example, my dear, of the bottem line.

Bless you,
Cara

[bluecollarblogger]

Many years ago while traveling through an intersection I was hit by a car doing over 90 mph. In the blink of an eye I learnt a life lesson and it has stuck with me 28 years later. LIFE is SHORT! Too short to allow negativity and pessimism into my life. Do I run from conflict, no, but do I stay on the sunny side, absolutely. Do I carry other peoples moral baggage, no I don't, I have my own to deal with. What I am saying.......if today is all you got.......then why let someone cheat you out of one moment of happiness. All this bitterness, anger, resentment....is not constructive. We need to stop arguing and start reasoning together, and when we can't we need to walk away and find those who are willing to. You can argue with a rock all day, at the end of the day, your exhausted, your agrivated and guess what..........there sets the rock.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear bluecollarblogger,
since I'm pullinng this out of the archives, you might not get my response. However, I must write you anyway. Your words are so 'spot on': culled from the best teacher of all: consciously lived life experience. It is so abundantly clear that you are a Lifelong Learner. Bravo. Thanks for sharing what matters. Do come by for a visit and let me know how you are.

with gratitude,
Cara

[Gnrshrtd]

Thanks, I needed that. You do seem to have a way of putting your finger on the pulse of the times.

I'm wondering, when the issue behind the conflict requires a solution and the other party refuses to engage in good faith, what options are left? In inter-personal conflicts, 'getting away' is an option, often a wise one. When working with a client, making a living is the goal and walking away is often not an option. Any thoughts?

Hope your back has mended and you are rested from your vacation.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

As I'm only now just retrieving this from the archives, I'm not certain you'll get my answer to your question. You are pointing to a very tricky situation, indeed.

My policy has always been to speak directly in such situations. For example: "This is a tricky situation. You've engaged my services to support your goal in the best way possible. I'm noticing some confusion on my part about your desire here. Something seems to be interferring with the work. Any thoughts on this? What do you think might be happening? What would make it worth your while to navigate this place where we are standing? '

Sometimes just a simple 'hitting the ball over the net' on the issue has the best advantage to supporting the client. If there is stuckness, I look at it as a key part of the process: one which could open very rewarding doors.

And, let me add: take care of yourself! This stuff can really be a pain!

Speaking of which, thanks for your good wishes. I'm on the mend and loving the time off.

All good things,
Cara

[Gnrshrtd]

Found it! Thanks for taking the time from your vacation to reply, and for the useful suggestion, too. I was expecting a strategic 'back off' technique, but I can see the advantage (to me and my patient) of gently clarifying their expectations - and maybe mine, as well.

[PeterScott]

I'll be honest, I do feel scared... because these people apparently feel this way honestly, and apparently as a result of being fed outrageous lies. I don't know what appalls me more, the size of the outrageous lying campaign or the fact that so many people believe things that couldn't possibly be true. We should have seen the writing on the wall when more Americans believed that Elvis was still alive than that we landed on the Moon.

I want the Democrats to get their mojo back. Universal healthcare is about ending the suffering of millions and getting America out of the gutter of world healthcare statistics. It's not some trivial political exercise such that we can afford to let the most venomous people dictate the terms of the debate, or that we must somehow please everyone. The debate is being lost right now because the Democrats have not connected with their vision... or we would get it. People can jaw and rant all they want but when it costs the lives of people who could be saved, when it drives a wedge between people and their desire to help their fellow Man, when it obstructs the basic human drive that Yes, I am my brother's keeper, and so are you - then the jawing and ranting must take a back seat to action. The universal healthcare proponents need to get in touch with their vision and communicate it from the heart. And that goes for all of us.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Bravo, Peter Scott. Frankly, I've never known you not to be honest.

I, too, want the mojo back. And, I, too, figure it starts with Moi. I've got to do whatever I can to get on track, stay on track, and invite others to be aboard. This train is heading down a nasty track if we don't do as you suggest. Having spent so many years of my life in healthcare, I am very concerned and making the phone calls. I know you are, too.

Bless you, Peter,
Cara

[PeterScott]

The town halls remind me of (far too) many web discussion boards, where I always thought that people would never say such vile things to someone's face, except these folk do. What's the limit on the "Don't reward this behavior with attention" principle? Valid points or not, no one should be encouraged to make them by screaming about Nazis and waving guns. Yet this guarantees them a spot on the news and a Christmas card from Bill O'Reilly; so who wouldn't feel encouraged?

I know the Constitution guarantees the freedom to be a raving loon (it's right next to the part establishing a weights and measures office). I just don't think the framers envisaged that they would form a majority voting bloc. The only reason for having elected representatives these days is the implied hope that we will collectively nominate people wiser than average who will make good decisions with our proxy. If those representatives just follow the loudest members of the electorate, where will we end up?

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

This is a bounty day on Bainbridge Island. Not only is the sun shining, the herron resting on the pilings, and the seals barking, but I've got two messages from you, which you will probably not see in the archives. Alas. The fact is, Peter, that I would be so, so happy if more of our American brothers and sisters took the time to see what you see, to feel the pulse as you read it, and to be the human being you are with the moxy to use your voice.

love and gratitude to you and Grace,
Cara

[PeterScott]

Cara,

Oh, but I do visit here again and again... your replies are not lost. Thank you!

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Hello Sister Cara,

Wow.... looks like your "vacation" is full time responding to comments. You hit this one out of the park.

You've obviously, touched a hot button/raw nerve in our society today. (You have a way of putting your finger on the deeper pulse of what's going on out there.)

Both sides feel frustrated and unheard. My brother, who is Republican, sends me emails that circulate around the right and they're just as adamant about the truth of their stance as those on the left. While I'm tempted to respond to him and try to convince him otherwise, I know he's as rooted in his beliefs as I am in mine, so I let it go and send him love instead.

All the differences between human beings obscure the truth; we're all exactly the same. We all come from the One Source. How sad that truth is so easily lost in the noise of wanting to be right. How sad that in our society, there's always winners and losers. It makes no sense to be shouting into the wind at how right we are and how wrong the "other" is. We've already lost the argument.

Can a forum like this be a "Balm in Gilead" instead of another forum for shouting into the wind? If anyone can provide that kind of space, it's you.

Thank you, dear sister, for being the balm,
Judith

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

It occurs to me, Judith, with your image of 'shouting into the wind,' that all such attempts might turn out to be a boomerang (sp?)! I'm with you. We do all come from the same universal Source. The sooner this is accepted all the way around, the better for us each, huh?

Let's hope that what we are attempting here, you, Anne, Kari, Jason etc and others is a bridge toward the endeavor of more outreach and less bridge burning.

As always, thanks for the generous, heartfelt words.

Love,
Cara

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Cara
THIS is what you can do on vacation! Wow. I really have come to look forward to, and appreciate, your ability to capture the week's news, and then offer a voice of reason, compassion and thoughtfulness. this is a true gift.

I find the loud voices are the one's heard, and the 'voice of reason' is harder to find. What happened to the millions of Obama supporters who were shouting "YES we can!" and filled with hope? Where does faith, patience and hope go when the wallets are empty and summer heated tensions running high?

I think the country needs to take a "chill pill' as my kids like to say. Stepping back, as you say, is important to gain perspective, and I also hope thoughtful voices have room to compete.

Thanks Cara! - great post.
Kari

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

It's funny, isn't it, Kari, this thing called 'vacation.' I wasn't going to write at all, do that 'chill pill' thing your kids (and mine) describe. Yet, somehow, I couldn't help myself and had to write.

Meanwhile, the waves lap against the shore. Meanwhile, the gulls keep singing. Meanwhile, the herron sun themselves on the piling. And, meanwhile, there is a Light in the world like yours.

I am ever thankful.

Love,
Cara

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Hey Cara you ROCK- this is such a brittiant and timely blog, you betcha!

Although these loopy insane protesters make absolutely no sense and are shooting themselves in the foot because they are shouting, screaming and acting like morons, carrying guns against themselves (which is painfully ironic since they personally will get needed health care for their family if they are not covered by insurance) are teaching us about our own selves.

This is so because it tests our ability to be with shock and horror and not lose our own sanity. I at moments want to blow up and kick but and slap and jump up and down and say why are you the biggest jerk, fool ningcompoop, jackass, creep, warmonger, gun carrying schmuck. But what will that do. I would only be adding to the fire of hatred and anger that these losers have instigated. I am above that ... I hope.

I need to be compassionate and realize as Jesus said, "Forgive them father for they no not what they are doing!"

May all people be happy and free from suffering (even these poor people who are shouting so loud and it is against themselves and they don't know it!"

Holy Cow,

Ed

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

You are not alone, my brother, in feeling the conflicted emotions, as I do. But, as you suggest, to see this behavior as separate from myself, I miss the point that we are all One. That is, I admit, a major 'ouch' at times. These guys? Me? Groan. And yet I know that I can do quite a job on myself: that pesky Monkey Mind that says to my heart 'my way, or the highway.' Hence, the Fool within goes on, and those in the outer circus remind me well.

Blessings your way, Ed and Deb. May we know peace. May we release all that is not in love.
Cara

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Yo!

[FuturePrez]

What about picking up on some of the tips from the pet training shows, such as "distract" (diffusing behaviors, don't validate ridiculous outbursts), or child care shows, such as "time-out" (if can't constructively contribute - leave)?

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

FuturePrez, you've got my vote. And while we are on doggy commands, how about 'leave it,' and 'wait.' Just imagine the outcome if we could get the third party payers, as well as politicians, and fear mongers to 'listen up' to these, as well. As for 'time out', are we there, yet? Ah, if only all could be as generous with unconditional love as one of my mentors: my dog Rosie Bell.

Thanks for your great addition, FuturePrez. Let me know when you're on the ballot!

Cara

[RumiSouth]

Here is what Senator Dingell ought to have done when confronted by the loud man with the handicapped son in a wheelchair:

1) Say, "you don't have to shout," and hand him the microphone.

2) Walk over to his son and introduce himself.

3) Ask the boy if he is satisfied with his care, doctors, etc. If the father has shut up, direct the question at him.

4) If the answer is yes, say: "Great. Let's make sure it stays that way." If the answer was no, say: "That's a shame, and we need to change that."

5) Proceed with town hall meeting.

6) Ignore any further outbursts from father.

But I have to say about step number three: the teabaggers are out to spread fear and lies. Until they stop the fearmongering and tinfoil-hattery, they desere every bit of ridicule we can heap upon them. Barney Frank just did the whole reform effort a huge favor by calling out the Obama=Nazi woman; we need more, more, more.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Yes, injustice does need a calling out, for sure. For example, the insurance industry is spending $2 million every single day to spread fear, and confuse thinking amongst Americans so that Corporate America continues to pull the puppet strings.

As for your tips, they are terrific, specific, manageable. Hurrah for specifics. Bravo for you for taking the time to illustrate your position.

With gratitude your way,
Cara

[LuxSF]

Thank you so much for your article. I appreciate the fact that you are seeing this issue from a different perspective. Many articles address the political implications of health care reform but I have not seen anyone commenting on how to deal with our anger and frustration.

I read so much information about what was happening in the town hall meetings that I had a hard time facing my regular life... I also found out that my father in law became a Glenn Beck fan and he believes that Obama's ideology is a mix between Nazism and Socialism. During a family dinner we engaged in a rather bitter discussion. I realized it was a mistake and asked him not to talk about politics anymore. He is a wonderful man and I adore him but I feel a huge abyss between us...

I decided I needed to go to one town hall meeting. Even though I felt I wanted to strangle those who had Nazi/Obama signs, I felt better when I saw that I was not the only one supporting the reform and I could vent!!! I feel better now but I can help to feel very negative about the future.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear LuxSF,

I am glad, LuxSF, that you found the article helpful. Frankly, I was confounded that the issue hadn't been addressed. But, in doing a bit of research to find something, I came up with zilch. So, hence my article.

I cannot help but respond to something that you mention which is so vital. And, this refers to that painful abyss when we realize that there is this chasm that seems to divide us from those we love, and, I will add, the discovery that it is there. I applaud you, Lux, that you have kept your eye on what matters: that you love and adore your father, and, that you see the world from a different lens.

Just know that I'm in your corner, for what its worth.

Peace and all good things your way,
Cara

[LuxSF]

Thank you for your reply! Enjoy your vacation!

[phyllisFL]

I enjoyed reading all the comments. Actually, I always wanted to be a Social Worker. I am always helping everyone with their anger. I have always had friends and a sister that shouts and yells first to get their point across without listening. You can not reason with people like this. I have even bought a few books on how to control anger to give to a few of my friends, and they were insulted.
I am such a calm person. When my dad past away 7 years ago, my brother almost hit me, my mother picked up a knife and my sister's car got stuck and screamed at me to wait for AAA, as she told me need a psychiatrist. I was the only calm person.

I agree with what Barney Frank said. How insulting to people especially to Obama and to Jewish people to bring up Hitler and nazi Germany. There is no reasoning with people that carry a Hitler poster and expect that they would give a reasonable question. Do they really expect to get a reasonable, intelligent answer.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

I couldn't agree with you, more, phylissFL. Many thanks to you and Barney Frank. when someone is in, what we shrinks call a 'complex' there is no reasoning to be done. Taking a simple 'take five' seems to help us step back, regroup, and wait for an opening without holding our breath.

Come by again. I'd love to hear from you.

Many good things your way,
Cara

[phyllisFL]

I have been invited to go to a rally for seniors and to hold a sign for healthcare outside. I do not feel comfortable in a crowd with people with guns screaming and yelling that Obama is like Hitler and signs that they want their country back. Unless we are watching the history channel, Hitler shoud never be discussed.

I realize most of these people watch Glen Beck. In most of his shows he shows pictures of the Nazis marching and showing pictures of the soldiers conspiring together which he compares to the democrats and Obama. Just like in McCain rallies with Palin, these were the same people screaming terrorist and kill him.

These are not intelligent and rationale people. They are puppets of FOX. The girl who wanted us to go back to the Constitution said to Chris Mathews that we should get rid of Medicare and Social Security. They should get rid of Glen Beck. He is helping all this hatred for Obama and bringing out the guys with guns which is bringing out the skinheads, KKK and militia groups.

Thank you for your article.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

You are more than welcome, Phyliss. I thank you for your wise words, and taking the time and trouble to 'weigh in.' Know that you are making a difference.

Blessings,
Cara

[blueinthebigred]

does anyone know who formulates the talking points of the Fox network? As I understand it the owner is from Australia.