How wise the body is! As the 7th floor L.A. Radisson Hotel doors opened, I walked smack into a conversation some women were having about "...how terrible that Susan Boyle's been hospitalized..." So often there's the assumption that if our body or psyche needs attending, then this is a 'bad thing,' that symptoms of distress are to be avoided at all cost.
Yet, I wonder. The fact is that our bodies are amazing instruments of putting back into harmony what's gotten out of whack. In medical school, the teaching suggests there is a 'self-regulating tendency of the body.' According to Dr. Jung, the human psyche carries the same tendency. I've found this to be so, not only in my practice, but in my life. When the way we're living gets to be 'too much,' nature, and Creative Intelligence conspire, and kick into gear. Symptoms of getting off-center with ourselves show up. Softening is needed, and once given the chance, we begin to move into flowing once more. Our souls are calling out that correction must be made in order to advance in the direction of our truest nature. The body is ever listening.
The Rest Cure. One of the oldest treatments known for physical/mental distress is rest. There's a reason. It's only by waiting in the stillness that we can return to our own center, and find the space in which to reconnect with what reignites our creative fire, our vitality, and our joy in life, once more. One of the key teachings for me out of my ten year research project with highly successful, weary women (World Weary Woman: Her Wound and Transformation, Inner City, 1991) was that these very bright people believed that their exhaustion needed to be hidden, as some sort of failure. The truth is that when we lack zest for life, we need two remedies. We need rest. We need to find and do whatever makes our hearts sing. The problem is that the Western mind holds the belief that we should not rest until we are fatigued. By then, it is too late.
Double-edged Sword. So what do more and more do when they are pooped and start getting symptoms? We get on the Web. True, it's an amazing tool for exploration and discovery. Also true: it can frighten the dickens out of us, doing damage as well as good. The issue is not modern technology as 'bad or good,' but how we employ it. Do we use what we find for healing, or for an instrument to raise our anxiety?
I was reminded of this recently in two instances. One involved a dear friend whose child's not speaking as much as was expected. Understandably concerned, the mama decided to run a Google check, to see where the child 'lines up' with the norm. The second instance has to do with a man who decided to Google a condition his teenage daughter's demonstrating. In both cases, the search only made matters worse. Recall that parents know their babies better than any norm could possibly predict. Both parents sailed into the 'Land of Awful-izing.' I was reminded of the syndrome well-known by doctors and nurses. In our training, it's very common to begin suspecting you've got some grim disease, as you learn more and more about what 'can go wrong.' The fact is that we can get contaminated by fear. While I am a proponent, certainly, for gathering information by which to make informed choices, I'm also saying the time comes when we need to simply 'turn off' the computer, the television, the cell, the Twittering, the whatever, that's increasing a sense of overwhelm. Time to rest. Time to unplug from our worst case fantasy of what would happen if we simply checked out and checked in for as long as necessary to regain our footing. We do this by being kinder to ourselves.
Just imagine our 'friend,' Susan Boyle. Susan was catapulted from a wee Scottish village into the entertainment's limelight, that egoic steeple chase to win, not lose overnight. Imagine how strange this might be for the introverted. Who, amongst us, cannot understand that it must have come as a terrible shock to 'wake up the next morning,' after Diversity won the contest, only to find that she was still Susan, in a world where her place in it is unclear. As they say: "The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away." Those big carrots dangled and taken away, can propel any of us into a dark wilderness. Especially when we slip into becoming overly identified with an outer measure of our worth. Ah, the prices we pay for fame. Amongst the worse may be disconnection from the fact that we have value regardless what the applause-o- meter might be showing, and we are connected to one another, after all. Even those in the spotlight deserve to know we have their back.
An Open Letter to You, Ms. Boyle: What I want to say to you, Susan, is that you are not alone. What I want you to know is that there may well be more than a few of us 'out here,' who appreciate how challenging it must be to have been in the shadows, with such a precious gift for so many years, then thrown into the lion's den with its trying, pushing, driving fierce competition, finally recognized for the artist that you are by millions, only to lose to a group of children. This doesn't take away from Diversity's talent one bit. But, let's face it: despite your gracious generosity to them, on and off camera, there just has to be the thought that they have their whole lives ahead of them, while your sand, like many of us older folks, is 'slipping through the glass.'
Not to worry. For eons the eternal stories remind us that the heroic always face the roller coaster's temporary ups and downs. The question is, are we willing to attend our owies, to respect our disappointments and losses when they come, to nourish our souls with rest and renewal as needed, and listen to the counsel of an increasingly inner directed life? Bravo to you for taking both a risk, and the time to heal. This bodes well for future. When one door closes, another opens. Keep the faith. I don't know about our readers, but I can tell you, Susan, one thing for certain. I've got your back. We in Seattle 'have your back.' Come out to America's Pacific Northwest any time and you will find a thrilled audience. If you want, that is. In fact, woman to woman, I promise that I'll do all I can to pack the house. The bottom line is that many of us do understand that sometimes, we've just got to take a rest, if we are to do are to follow the Call to the wild, as Jung put it:
...your inner emptiness conceals just as great a fullness if only you will allow it to penetrate into you. If you prove receptive to this 'call of the wild,' the longing for fulfillment will quicken the sterile wilderness of your soul as rains quicken the dry earth...You, Susan Boyle, have shown anyone who's been paying attention what a wondrous thing it is develop a God-given gift, regardless whether any one else is applauding or not. While you are resting, let me send along a little gift to you and our readers in the spirit of Thanksgiving, for the treasure that you are. My friend, Gabriel called a man by the name of Adyashanti to my attention. Enjoy with your afternoon tea:
Dear readers, you never know. Susan, or someone near her may 'be listening.' Join me, won't you, in writing your 'I've got your back' message to her below? Who amongst us cannot appreciate the times when we've been in our own personal wilderness, and could have used a hand up? Let's see what we can create for Susan during this testing time. Let's pass this on to our whole circle and create something beautiful for the lady who's been such an inspiration to so many.
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That is why we like Susan Boyle so much. What courage she has shown. My young one's name
is Greg. He is always with me. And he will be watching over me as I make this 12 hour drive
today to my cabin in the mountains. Happy Summer to you and all...
Our charge is to step into life every single day, when such a thing has happened, and do so with open, full and celebratory hearts. We know how fleeting this classroom can be!
You are in my heart. Bless you,
Cara
It was a pretty insane event. From obese male drag queen belly dancer to dazzling hip hop dancers and other weirdness you would only see in a circus. a 12 year old young chap to a 10 year old gir; who cried when she lost. and of course Susan who went from looking like a simple village lady to dressing in a beaded dress with died hair.
The 16 menber dance group who were great won. It was exhausting to watch it all.
Your wisdom was needed. They all could have benefited from you.
Still jet lagged
Big Love,
Ed
Speaking of which, I'm thinking that next time you go on your adventures, perhaps it would be good to stow me away in the extra suitcase? I have a feeling we'd have quite the adventure.
Great to have you back. That said, I'll be on the road for a week, in hours, and back on the 15th. See you then!
Love and blessings,
Cara
I don't know if what I read was true, that you felt you had let people down when you didn't come in first, but please know: when you sang the very first time, you wanted only to be heard. You sang for YOU. The media turned it into something that you did for us. Please always remember that origin, the reason you cultivated such a gift when no one was around to hear or be moved by so deeply. We benefit when you do it for you, we are blessed with a gift of hearing your soul live its highest aspiration when you sing for you. I am grateful that I get to hear you. I am deeply moved by your story of resilience, and bravery to take all the rest you needed and may need. You never have to be strong for anyone. Ever. Just keep living to your highest souls desire whether you sing in your bathtub or on stage, and that is all your soul needs for its food to thrive. We are just the privileged bystanders. You are awesome.
In heartfelt gratitude,
Cara
You unknowingly gave the world a great gift with your voice and your choice of song. As Simon said, "You can go back to the village with your head held high".
You better believe we have your back. You are a winner, always.
Please share your voice with us many times. We are eagerly awaiting your CD.
Sarah Jordan
Many blessings to you, Sarah,
Cara
To Susan ! As Bob Marley sang in his song:
Don't You Let Them Take Your Fire !
I am convinced that you won't let your fire be diminished, and will go on to a fabulous professional singing career, which is your dreamed You are loved by millions of people for your shining spirit.
I want to thank you for something else: your mention of Bob Marley. He was one of my son's favorites before Matt was killed. Just hearing/seeing Marley's names brings back the most joyful memories. When my son was in college the year before his death, one of our ways of connecting was by taping our favorite tunes, and exchanging them to one another. Marley's music was a magnificent bridge to join and perspective. I've not thought of him for many years.
You might not know what a treasure you are, so I wanted to be sure to let you know that you are to me.
Sweet dreams,
Cara
Sweet blessings this day to you and yours,
Cara
What a pleasure to connect with Lights like yours.
Cara
Thankfully, the British public didn't allow media hysteria to interfere in their judgements when they chose talent over hype.
One of the things that touched me was the mutual respect that the "Diversity" group expressed in a recent interview for Ms. Boyle, as well as hers for them. I do believe that despite the industry hype, both parties understand the imperative of encouraging one another along the road.
May you, too, be the recipient of encouragement in whatever you hold dear,
Cara
All good things your way, winchestereast,
Cara
Don't waste this gift. Even tho you didn't win the contest.
Waiting for your first recording.....
All wonderous things your way,
Cara
Love and light from Zimbabwe :)
I owe you. Thank you so very much for your outreach from Zimbabwe. It only goes to show we are one family, after all, despite the oceans in between. I want you to know that I have such a special warm feeling in my heart for our African brothers and sisters. Should there ever be a way that I could be useful to the women and girls of your area, just let me know. One life at a time....we all come Home.
Blessings and gratitude for who you are, and your demonstration of a compassionate heart,
Cara
Congratulations on your magnificent performances! Picked up by the internet and quickly going virus, your achievements have exemplified to countless others the power of hope and dreams. Imagine all the other Susan's of the world shot with encouragement and inspired to value themselves and their gifts. You, living decades in obscurity, sang for the sole purpose of singing, never knowing that one day your gift would be unveiled to the world. Most of us will never know that double-edged reward of instant fame, but you have taught us the value of our gifts simply because they exist. Take your well-earned rest and enjoy that, too. Remember your experience as many of us do: an unretouched middle-aged woman moving an international audience sometimes to tears with your strong, true vocals. Your dignity and humor endeared you to us.
Thanks so much for stopping by to make a difference.
Cara
Susan:
Thank your for being such an inspiration to so many! Truly, you have shown that one can stand up and shine their greatest gifts upon humanity whenever they choose regardless of the outcome. Blessings and love to you!
Jason
Los Angeles, CA
Blessings and joy,
Cara
I'll be back on the HP June 17th. Know that I'm looking forward to your next blog.
I missed you last week. Glad to hear your voice again.
It's so true, our bodies are wise beyond what we can even imagine. I was talking to someone recently who had just recovered from pneumonia. She said she believed she became ill because she did not want to care for her grandchildren for an extended period of time as she had promised. What Grandmother could admit that with words? Our bodies know the truth and speak up when necessary; sometimes they have to scream until we pay attention.
To Susan: I hope you are aware of how your courage to share your gift has touched and inspired so many people. You just never know (to quote a phrase) who is listening and watching and who might take the leap to explore their own talent that lies beneath because you shared yours. Your body may be asking you to stop, rest, and take a second look at what success really means.
Usedtobequiet
I missed you, too! In fact, I thought of you this weekend in L.A., and wondered how you were getting along. By the time I returned home, my plants,too, had taken a leap of faith and dared to bloom beyond what I could have imagined in six days. Miracles continue. Nothing like Mother Nature to bring that lesson home.
Miracles exist, as well, through people like you, reaching out to others like Susan Boyle. What a beautiful sharing, and connection you have offered. Bless you.
Let's all take on your question, and invitation: first, rest; second, take a look at our own definition of success in order to update where needed, and peel away, where warranted.
Love your way,
Cara