Why You Must Vacation When Your Wallet Is Empty

Sometimes, it's just when you can least afford to take a break that it turns out to be the most necessary. If you are anything like me, you've heard a number of people this year, (maybe even yourself,) say something like this: 'We could really use a vacation this year, but can't afford it." On the surface, it might seem the problem is a lack of vacation. The deeper issue, is, however, more along the lines of how Anne Morrow Lindbergh put it: "...how to still the soul in the midst of its activities...how to feed the soul. For it is the Spirit of a woman that is going dry." Men, too.

With all the abounding uncertainties and stress these days, the great news is that there is increasing awareness that it is incumbent upon us to 'take five.' Fact is that this attitude is so prevalent, that a new word has been added to the English lexicon recently: 'staycation.' Perhaps you've been dabbling with one yourself? Taking a 'staycation' means that you're taking time for a vacation, but rather than vacating your premises, you are 'staying put.' The implication is that this is a new idea.

Not really. Ask around. Check the lives of the creative greats. Virginia Woolf created a 'room of her own.' Carl Jung, and protégée, Maria Louise von Franz, each were firm believers that you simply have to create a space where you can be with your own natural self in order to live out who you are fully, in order to replenish your own creative juices. Without these flowing, we will never, ever be able to respond more effectively to the uncertain present and future. Remember Joseph Campbell's urging us to find our own bliss station? Artists, psychologists, mythologists throughout time, have understood that 'taking a break' is essential for our renewal, the regaining of perspective, and the enhancement of our skill in running our own race.

The Take-away from Peak Performers. I met a man by the name of Charles Garfield some years ago who was doing some compelling research on Peak Performers, beginning with winners of the Olympic Gold. Eventually, he expanded his investigation to 'peak performers' in a variety of fields. Charlie wanted to know what factors they might have in common as a population, that, if known, might prove to be helpful for the rest of us not yet standing in an Olympic stadium stage receiving the gold medal. What he found was something compelling. All of them took regular breaks, at least every six weeks! In fact, three day weekends, on that kind of a regular schedule, were common.

My husband and I vowed to do likewise. Our commitment lasted about 18 months. Eventually, our excuses got the better of us. It is so easy to slip back into old habits. But, I can tell you this: those breaks were invaluable! Just when we thought we couldn't get away, with all the zillions of excuses to build a case to prove the world could not do without us, (check the inflation), if we took the leap of faith and went, despite the excuses, it was well worth the risk. Each and every time, we returned invigorated, and with lots more energy and clarity to take on what needed attending with more effectiveness. I'm sorry to report that little by little, we succumbed to becoming grapes in the press, with all the others, and the time away, on a regular basis, became a thing of the past, until this past year.

Why We need Staycations? Lindberg puts it succinctly:

"... I want first of all--to be at peace with myself, I want a singleness of eye, a purity of intention, a central core to my life that will enable me to carry out those obligations and activities as well as I can...to live 'in grace' as much of the time as possible...I am seeking perhaps what Socrates asked for in the prayer from the Phoedrus when he said, 'May the outward and inward man be at one.' The problem is that our lives are filled with multiplicities rather than simplicity."

Rx for What Ails You: The Prescribed Seven:

If you, too, have had your rest-bits nibbled away, by multiplicities, take heart. Here's what you can do:

1. Decide that your heart is well-designed, and an excellent teacher. It rests between beats.

2. Determine what might give you rest between the 'beats' of your responsibilities at home, at work, in the community.

3. Consider the possibility to which Mary Oliver invites us:

"You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.

4. Give yourself at least temporary relief from twinges of 'good girl/boy' guilt
and let yourself discover what your body and soul love today. This doesn't cost a penny. Write down one finding each day.

5. Design a 'stay-cation' in which you give yourself time, everyday, to focus on what you love, not what you think you love, but what you discover you love.

6. Take a 'stay-cation' every single day, for at least 20 minutes, especially
when it seems impossible. Do it anyway! Practice letting the world run on its own steam during the time. Practice letting go.

7. Turn off your computer, cell phone, yes, e-mail, and all distractions, for at
least 24 hours every single week. Unplug your landline. Notify your friends/family/customers/co-workers etc. that you will be 'out of reach' for the period of your stay-cation. DO NOT tell people you are home!

Remember, Americans have less vacation than all other industrialized countries. As Micky D's told us: 'You deserve a break today!" I double-dog dare you!

I'm happy to report that our adoption of stay-cations are turning things around. After a bit of a scare last year, we were reminded that what we love and value can disappear overnight. Hence, we recommitted to securing our time for solitude and rest most weekends. It is making a very big difference in bringing back greater happiness and harmony. Mahatma Gandhi was right:

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do, are in harmony."

I'd love to hear about you, your favorite excuses for why you dare not rest, vacation, unplug, let go; as well as what you are doing that helps replenish your juices, uplift your Spirit, renew your joy. Later this year, I will be telling you about my next upcoming project and book entitled: "The Next Chapter of Your Life." Let's live it today with gusto. Blessings, love and gratitude your way, Cara

Comments

[tilted windmill]

My husband and I had the most wonderful little vacation the other day. We tried a restaurant that was new to us and took advantage of glorious weather to sit outside. Our server was very friendly(in the right way, not phony at all) and the food was delicious. We chose a couple of the least expensive entrees, and the service was just as nice as if we'd spent four or five times as much. Then we walked over to a bookstore and found a sale on the books that we needed for our home business. When we came home, we both remarked about how relaxed we felt.

The savings at the bookstore actually paid for our dinner, but anyplace with outdoor dining in a peaceful area would do. Even a picnic in a quiet park, near a river or lake if possible, would provide a similar experience that anyone can afford.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

All I can tell you, tilted windmill, is that you are the kind of person I'd love to have in my business. You are truly 'walking the walk.' I just know that you are making a difference in this world.

Blessings and gratitude your way,
Cara

[beachsandshuffle]

Cara, a fine article, thank you for putting the details down in text. Mary Oliver's quote in item #3 is on target. I feel that when we realize our love of ourselves, we treat ourselves appropriately. I like your approach, it reads like me. I'll read more of your work, this is my first. Thanks again..

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

What a pleasure to have you join in, beachsandshuffle. I must tell you that your screen name couldn't be more in harmony with where I am, quite literally! I'm on vacation at our get-away by the shore. As I'm typing, the waves are splashing against the shore. The sea lions are barking, and the seagulls are just settling down to a good night's sleep, as the sun is on the wane. I shall sleep well, tonight, knowing that there is another Mary Oliver fan out there, too.

Do come by again.

Sweet things your way,
Cara

[Robert59]

The best vacations I've had, the ones where I felt rejuvenated, were the ones with no hard schedule. To recharge one's batteries, a vacation should revolve around simplicity and a minimal timeline.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

I could not agree more, Robert. Just today, I had such a day at the shore. What a renewing thing it is to reconnect with nature outside and inside. All is well.

Many blessings your way,
Cara

[shanran]

Hi Cara! I am missing you so much!! I read your posts often but had forgotten my username :) Ah, vacation! In the last 10 years my life has changed dramatical­ly...for the better!! While I used to take fancy vacations (and trust me, i'm grateful for the experience & don't take it for granted) vacations now mean so much more. Sometimes it is a "staycation", sometimes something else. I am coming up on my vacation & we are going to a family camp with church. If you would have told me 10 years ago i would not have believed this kind of vacation would be in the works...bu­t i value this time so much...to be with community, to be with family, to be outdoors (rain or shine), to take time to meditate and breath. Do i miss the fancy stuff...su­re, I'm human, but i wouldn't trade this year's opportunity for the other for anything. I recognize my good fortune in being able to take a vacation at all. I am lucky that even though not paid that i am able to get the time off, and am so grateful for that. Oh, and I totally agree (of course!!) that coming from a "lack" leads to more "lack" and looking for and admitting that i deserve (and hence attract) abundance brings more abundance; not always in the form i had looked for it before, but in ever more special ways. Love to you and your family always!!!

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

What rings through your words, 'loud and clear,' Shanran, is gratitude. I simply do not know of a better key to wealthy living than this state of being, and its consciousness. It sounds like you are 'on your way,' through to a deeper sense of connection with what holds enduring value. Meister Eckhardt was right when he said "God strips away our props." Too many props can hide the gems.

Blessings and all good things your way. Keep the gratitude flowing,
Cara

[AngelaQuattrano]

You seem like a very nice person, but this article made me feel like we live on different planets. While you come from a social milieu where people who normally plan 4 and 5 figure vacations are cutting back due to a drop in income, in my reality people daily work multiple part-time jobs and self-employment at home in order to survive. I already sit at home all the time. I can't turn off the television and radio, because they are off. Turning off the internet means I may miss an important transaction that will pay for a month's worth of food. I dunno.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear AngelaQuattrano,

I hear you. Thanks for adding your perspective. What you have to say is vital. But, please, my friend, watch your assumptions. I am more than personally familiar with what you describe. I do want to invite you to consider, however, that coming from a belief of lack has the nasty tendency of creating more. Our lives are constructions based on our beliefs.

That said, I've been there. And, this is why I write what I write. There is a way out, if we are willing to address our fear-based beliefs.

By the way, I don't know that I would describe myself as nice. I am, however, honest.


Good things your way, with many abundant surprises to your door,
Cara

[KarateKid]

Cara, I don't believe in vacations, at least the kind most people have in mind. As a husband and father who took his family on "vacations" when they were young, it was often more stressful going on them than staying home. Taking three kids to Disney World, then getting on 5 rides in six hours, waiting in endless lines, is no fun. It's also no fun lugging all the baggage. Thank goodness they all grew up; I hope they have good memories of those times because I don't. The same goes for international travel that I took them on, only it was worse. I did not come back to work refreshed, only tired, physically and mentally.

Instead, I found a hobby, bicycling, and go on 20 to 40 mile rides every opportunity. I sometimes take a personal day, pack a lunch, and go for a ride all day, which can take me 75 to 80 miles. I ride hard, but also look at the scenery, get off by myself, do some thinking, and when I get home I feel refreshed. I do that most weekends when weather allows, and often after work during the summer months.

And best of all, it costs nothing.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Bravo, KarateKid. You are on your way. I must tell you that I relate to your words completely. My husband and I realized some years back, also, that going 'visiting' for vacation turns out not to be a vacation, either. Our favorite times are the ones we find for 'free.' Isn't it something that they turn out to contain the greatest wealth?

Bless you, and your journey. Thanks for coming by. I'd love to hear how you are doing on a regular basis. Your contribution is substantial. Don't ever doubt it.

Peace and joy,
Cara

[joceeco]

Great article. I take at least a week off from work every year to stay at home and do nothing. Even when I am back at work, I spend as much of my off time alone as possible. People think that I am anti-social, but I don't care. Even my wife thinks that I am wierd and mean for wanting to be alone. I find peace and the strength to tackle the next day during my alone time.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear joceeco,

Good for you!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!! I understand completely what you are saying and doing. As a 'card-carrying introvert' I just need those alone times to renew myself at the well. Our nation is 75% extraverted, so there is little agreement for those who have a different way of processing. Personally, I find your comments and the way you are honoring your Way, very inspiring and affirming. I'm sure you are making sure that your wife is amply thanked for her support.

Come by again. It is so meaningful to find a 'kindred soul' out there!

Blessings to you and yours,
Cara

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

HI Cara!
I left a note for you yesterday- and it must have taken a LONG vacation getting here!
So
Great job. Loved reading the quotes from my favorite authors reminding us all of the importance of time off. I have written 3 columns about variations on the same theme. I agree 100% it is vital to remember how to unplug and relax.
I still have to laugh at your very simple challenges- 20 minutes every day....24 hours with no computer? Ahhh! I feel the personal and collective attachments we have to our technologies as security blankets.

I even wrote my blog about vacations - while I was on vacation! Lap top in the middle of the kid's bathing suits. The irony was not lost on me.
Thanks for the beautiful and deft way you have with the keyboard my dear!
kari

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Oh, my friend, Kari,

Sweetheart, I know just what you mean! I got to the island only to find my laptop not functioning so I had to find a different way of responding. This is quite a Catch-22 our little world is in, isn't it? I can see you on that beach blanket, and noting the vacation/laptop irony.

We are laughing, together, one more time!

Love to you,
Cara
P.S. Hopefully, we'll get the thing figured out so I can respond to your piece when it comes out this week. I always miss you when having these computer challenges. Other times, too!

[Usedtobequiet]

Cara, I don't have much to add to the conversation, but I appreciate your thoughts and your ability to get them across to us. You have such a gift. Funny, I was recently tossing around the idea of shutting off my computer, telephone and TV completely one day a week! When Dr. Barker makes a suggestion and it's already been in my mind, it's pretty much a done deal.

There's another great article in the Living section here entitled "7 Reasons to Enjoy Chocolate - Without the Guilt!" (how's that for a quick little food induced vacation?)

I live near the ocean, so believe me, I feel blessed every day. This morning it was a banana slug below, two great blue herons above and drizzle all around.

Wishing you peace.

Love, Usedtobequiet

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Here's a double irony, Usedtobequiet. I got to the island, was thinking about you, (no joke) flipped on the laptop, and I couldn't respond to your message. Hence, I needed to get really creative to let you know 'I'm listening.­' I just love to hear your Voice in the I.T. wilderness!

So, now, I'm really turning this sucker off to enjoy our herrons here, and a little bit of rain before the sun emerges.

Love, as always, your way,
Cara

P.S. I love it that you live near the ocean. Yummy.

[Ed and Deb Shapiro - Huffpost Blogger]

Dr. Cara sweet loving friend

I would need more than the allotted words if I was to answer you question!

There is just not enough space here to let you hear my favorite excuses for why I dare not rest, vacation, unplug, let go; as well as what I am doing that helps replenish my juices, uplift my Spirit, renew my joy.

I could chat with you for days. Doesn't everyone agree?

BUT i will share. I do rest as I meditate daily .. that's the good news...the rest is that we are coming into the last leg before our book will be published. It has been over 2 years in the writing. It takes enormous time and energy and it is a BLESSING but there is little time for anything else. The time is now for us to work with our agent, publicist, editors and the 108 contributors. Everyone is soooooo cool and loving and happy and joyful and it has been a labor of love.

For me the best way to unplug and and let go is to be with what is. So far so good.

ALL LOVE,

Ed

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Oh, dear Ed,
You mention the very real challenges to rest. I can tell you that I am well-versed in them, myself, hence the piece I've written. Just know that the work you are doing will help so many from your efforts, but, don't forget about the rest, and honoring you, while you're out there 'cranking' up so much goodness for so many.

As for the 'talking all day to me,' why not? Get your book launched, I'll get through my girl's wedding, and, perhaps 2010 we can meet in person? I've got an idea. That should keep you guessing.

Love and LIght,
Cara

[cinemaven]

Such good advice!

My husband was laid off from his auto related job of 16 years last December and it took us a while to understand that we could do something positive with the new free time we have together. We began by repurposing our front porch from a place to put our recycling boxes to a space we could sit and enjoy. It seems we hadn't ever had the time to realize that the little tree in our front yard had grown up and the vines we planted so many years ago now cascaded down to shade and cool the whole porch. Now, every morning is like a mini day at the cottage and it didn't cost a penny.

We've really been surprised at how many birds, animals and insects we've begun to notice as we've moved outside and for a few hours each day, we escape and enjoy our lives.

We've also perfected the daytrip to an art form... there are a wealth of websites for every area that give great ideas of things you can do that don't cost a penny. We've been to every cool rock formation, waterfall and farm market in the area and we've also seen movies projected on the city hall of a nearby city (bring your own folding chair) and several concerts in the park.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Cinemaven,

How I love your contribution. Do you mind if I quote you? Would you like me to use your actual name or screen name?

My dear, you've come upon something that so, so many people can use. I've been on a similar path as you describe, and its made some big and little changes, all of which are so healing. Right now, we are considering another such leap of faith.

Please do drop by again. Any specific links/whatever that inspires you would be more than welcome here.


And, I don't care what my article addresses from week to week, please use the space to let me know how you are doing, and what you are discovering. I am more than interested.

In Sisterhood,
Cara

[cinemaven]

Quote at your pleasure.

Off topic, if I'd have had a daughter instead of two hulking boys, I'd have named her Cara. Many years ago, I was part of a wonderful community group by that name and I love that it has so many positive meanings in so many languages. As a Scottish girl, it means friend to me.

[Brunobear]

American lifestyle is a bit of a shock for most Australians. Things are not perfect here but we get mandatory 4 weeks annual leave, 14 days mandatory paid sick per year, free health care, abundant beautiful places for low cost holidays at endless beautiful beaches, forested mountains, desert, tropical rainforests and so on. You can cheaply caravan or fly. So much great sport and entertainment and things to do in my City Melbourne I hate to leave it and it is low cost especially attending fast and exciting Australian (AFL) football matches through winter.

Most people in Melbourne live in a dwelling on a quarter acre block with a spacious lawn and garden. Our minimum adult pay rate is US$10 against your US$5,17 but most would earn at least US$20 per hour. How do many Americans survive?

The warmer sunny weather in Australia, with virtually no snow, means there are numerous sporting facilities for all year around outdoor sport.

Unemployment is 6% and we missed the world recession.

All that should make us happy, and I believe most Australians are, and value what this country delivers. There is strong demand for overseas nurses and male primary teachers.

Perhaps American politicians should take a look at how we do things here.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Brunobear,

Beware! Your wise and penetrating words to the American psyche just might start an endless migratory trend to Australian shores! I can tell you that you've offered a perfect backdrop for something I've experienced over the years. Not infrequently, 'Aussies' have come to my door, either as exchange students, healthcare providers seeking supervision, or just plain friendship. I've been endlessly struck by the level of well-being (except for such high rates of melanoma), and general robustness, and resilency. The sense of humor is marvelous. I've often wondered what accounts for this splendid nature, and your portrait gives me more context.

Please do drop by again. What a delight to hear from you, and feel the Melbourne connection.

Let me know how you and your 'mates' are doing!

Cheers,
Cara

[ejones3]

Hey Brunohear,

I LOVED Melbourne. I lived in Canberra, but like you said, traveling was soo cheap and easy throughout the country. And vacation was viewed in a positive and necessary light.

The other American students and I were all treated in the ER for various things with ease and no questions asked.

I loved it in Australia an could live there again if my family weren't soo far away. It was definitely a trek, but beautiful country.

Ebony

[singermuse]

it's shocking to many Americans as well, but when the frog's in the pot,he can't tell it's getting close to boiling until it's too late and he's frog soup. Too many Americans are in this position either sound asleep or believing lies. Australia sounds like a beautiful country. I remember reading about this courageous woman who traversed across the outback on a camel. What with the heat, the flies, and the solitude it was quite a feat. I've met a few Aussies and also some Kiwis, wonderful folks full of energy, athletic, avid skiers. It's amazing what a lifestyle with ample vacation time, decent pay and single payer health care can do for people. Do we need that here or what?

[commonsenselives]

Your advice is wonderful but what if someone doesn't have paid vacations where they work?

Don't you think that missing a week's worth of income would overshadow any relaxation they got to enjoy? It does no good for someone to go on a vacation to relax only to come home to a depleted bank account. At least, it wouldn't do ME any good.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Oh, dear. I do believe my 'point' was poorly communicated. Maybe this is more clear: there is a way to 'vacation' when we are not paid to take one. (In private practice, we are not paid/given 'vacation time.' That said, it is not possible to do our best, without making the investment in the 'get away.' )

When this is not possible monetarily, I've learned that there are ways to get some R&R every single day. My experience is that by following the tips I suggested, I've found some real relief.

Your point is well taken, indeed. With the kind of pressure on us these days, it is challenging not only to get away, but enjoy the time with the anticipation of what awaits upon return. Perhaps the 'staycation' can provide good practice in the meantime.

Hope this helps! Let me know what you do that helps you renew. I'm listening.
Cara

[Wes Isley - Huffpost Blogger]

Cara, am I bad if I most liked Mary Oliver's reminder that "you do not have to be good?" How refereshing! It's so refreshing, it must be bad!

Some day I'll learn.

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Max, you are not bad, my dear. You are amazing. I love Mary's message so much that I created a piece of furniture around her sage advise. Every single day that I sit down at my writing space, I am greeted with her words. Raised in a world of striving, it is so lushious to lay down its burden and simply be. Ah, I fear the learning curve for folks like me just may turn out to be lifelong.

Drop by again. I just love your sentiments, and way of expressing yourself!

Peace and blessings, plus lots of refreshment your way,
Cara

[Jason Mannino - Huffpost Blogger]

Cara!

Awesome! Thanks for communicating your compassion by reminding us to take much needed breaks! I needed to read this today! :-)

Light and love!
Jason

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Me, too, Jason! As I'm looking at the fan, I am reminded that it is not easy to 'get out of Dodge.' Maybe the Staycation is the answer?????????

Hoping all is well with you. Remember you are adored!
Cara