THE BLOG

Mother's Day Without Mom

05/12/2013 07:57 am ET | Updated Jul 12, 2013
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Never an easy lesson of life, loss is experienced by all. And for those of us who have lost a loved one, certain holidays can become excruciating reminders of the persons we so dearly miss. After all, how are we to celebrate Christmas without a family or New Year's without friends? Similarly, how can we possibly enjoy Mother's Day without mom?

Mother's Day can turn grim and nostalgic without that loving lady in your life. But physical presence isn't necessary to prove that mom is still with you. You can feel her spiritual companionship -- a much more powerful presence -- by performing a few special deeds this Mother's Day or, better yet, every day:

Forgive her: As in any normal family, you and your mother may have argued, held grudges, and bickered for little or no reason. Mothers are human and they make mistakes, too! But if she's no longer with you, chances are you feel deep regret for ever having raised your voice at your mom. Now is the time to make peace with her and with yourself. From the moment in which you forgive someone, you begin to detach from negative memories and can bring your emotions back to balance. Forgiving your mom for her faults helps you remember only her best qualities.

Buy her a present: Buy your mom a gift you know she'd love. My own late mother always wanted a certain watch, which she never got the chance to buy. After her passing, I bought her that watch and placed it on her bed as a validation that I wanted to make her wish a reality. Though you can't physically give it to her, you can symbolically gift mom with a special something as a sign of your recognition.

Speak to her: Speak to your mom as if she were next to you. Speaking without constraint allows you to release your emotions, relinquish tensions and fears, and helps establish a form of communication. Wish your mom a good morning or a good night, remind her that you're making her favorite meal tonight or that her grandchildren are doing great in school. Speak freely, she's listening.

Write her a letter: Write your mom a heartfelt letter allowing your emotions to transcribe through your words. Tell her everything and anything you want. Jot down your feelings, even if what you're feeling is guilt, anger, or bitterness. Ask your mom for divine help; request her guidance on pressing matters in your life. You may leave this letter at her resting place, on her bed, or wherever you feel her most present.

Take her advice: Remember how your mom had that uncanny, almost irksome ability to predict what would happen? Well, as much as you may not want to, it's time to start thinking like your mom. Before making an important move or decision, ask yourself, "What would mom have to say about this?" It's never too late to acknowledge that a mother really does know best.

Watch for signs: Even if you're a firm disbeliever in communication with the other side, suspend your disbelief for just once. I believe that the other side often tries to communicate with us through small hints that remind us that a world beyond our own does exist. Signs from the other side can include inexplicable noises in the house, flickering lights in a room, or randomly spotting your mom's name on a sign. Be attentive for messages that you feel are not mere coincidences.

Believe in her love: Believe that love is eternal. Believing that this emotion can transcend any physical death will help you fill the void left by a missing mother. Your mother is the source of love from which you come; this means that as long as you are alive, that unparalleled love is alive within you.

Shift your mentality: The way in which we deal with difficult situations is greatly impacted by our mentality; if you choose to see physical loss as a tragedy, then it truly is. But, if you understand that perhaps from the other side mom can help you in ways she could not in the physical world, then you begin to see her passing as a great resource of divine aid.

Losing a mother is nothing short of a devastating experience. But if you believe that the human spirit lives on, you can continue to feel unique love and unconditional protection from your mother forever.

Sending you motherly love,

Dr. Carmen Harra

For more by Dr. Carmen Harra, click here.

For more on Mother's Day, click here.