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4 Strategies to Get What You Want

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Since the dawn of humankind, we have battled one universal factor with more ferocity than any other element of life: time. We seem never to be at peace with time. We wish we could rewind to happier memories, fast forward through the hard times, or skip to only the more pleasant episodes of our lives. But we cannot manipulate time as we would a prerecorded movie. Hence we perpetuate our timely frustrations and live completely out of the present, concentrating only on past events or future endeavors. And when we live disconnected from the reality of time we can't confront our challenges or fulfill our ambitions.

Our clashes with time make us think that we can't get what we want in life -- we've been stuck in a dissatisfying job for what seems like eternity, we simply can't make progress in a certain relationship, and we've been waiting for too long for something good to come our way. Simply put, we feel we just can't escape our circumstances. Sound familiar?

What we fail to see is that life will give us exactly what we want. In fact, it may be better than what we expected, slightly different than our wishes, or even a greater reward as compensation for our patience. But we won't get it when we want. And this when is the foundation of our struggles because it's the concept we most have trouble accepting. We stubbornly want what we want when we want it. But we forget that we're fighting against time, an omnipotent force which simply won't yield to our whims. Most important to know is how to navigate through time, utilizing our hours and days as a benefactor rather than a burden. Impatience leads many people to lose their focus on the process of bringing about what they desire, unknowingly impeding their own progress and stifling their own potential. We do ourselves a great disservice when we work against time. But if we learn to cooperate with the flux of time, we allow the grandeur of our blessings to unfold before our eyes.

Apply one or more of these four strategies when you feel stuck, stagnant and doubtful:

Step back and re-evaluate. Opposition calls for exploration. Instead of vainly pushing against a door that's locked, stand back and think of where you might find the key. Reflect on the reasons why things are not going according to your plan. Could it be that some changes need to be made, or does the universe hold something altogether different in store? Mentally retrace your steps when you encounter resistance to your efforts. When life doesn't give you what you want, it's an indication to try a different approach -- but never a reason to give up.

Stand still. Not making progress is not always a negative thing. Just as we alternate between activity during the day and sleep at night, there are times conducive to movement and times designated for rest. When your efforts aren't manifesting despite repeated attempts, consider changing your course of action to one of inaction. Inactivity is just as valuable in advancing forward as is overactivity. Decisions made out of desperation lead only to further frustration. Understanding when the universe wants you to act and when it wants you to wait is a precious tool which propels you toward your goal.

Revert to the beginning. Answers can sometimes be found at the beginning of our journeys. This is because we often know the outcome from the beginning but we choose to engage in the experience anyway. Think back to when your struggle first started and ask yourself three things. What first caused this to happen, what role did I play, and what is the greater purpose of this challenge? By answering these three questions honestly, you can dig to the root of the issue, become aware of your involvement and learn the bigger lesson. Perhaps to get what you want, you may need to close an open chapter which is keeping you from breaking through blockages, or you may need to end a pattern of behavior. But you will only discover this if you go back to the beginning.

Explore your options. You should not continue to exert the same kind of efforts if you see that those efforts are not producing results. Many times we become so fixated on going down a bumpy road that we don't see the new, smooth path being carved before our eyes. You may desperately want to make a relationship work with someone, but you may be missing out on a person who's ready and able to give you commitment. Learn to see beyond what you've become attached to and broaden your vision to recognize what you've been fighting for for too long, versus what's being given to you with ease. Seize all opportunities.

Time does not need to be our enemy, but it will always be our moderator of life. When we become too intent on fulfilling our desires in a certain amount of time, we are bound to end up frustrated and desperate. But if we learn to treat time as the precious commodity it is, and allow it to bestow us with blessings in the right moment, we begin to acknowledge that we can have exactly what we want.

To your perfect time,
Dr. Carmen Harra

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