THE BLOG
06/05/2012 04:15 pm ET Updated Aug 04, 2012

Facebook for Dummies: What Were You Thinking?

The headlines about hacking into Facebook are currently spreading like a disease. Let me assure you literallists that I am not personally calling anyone a "dummy". At least not in writing.

I am leaping on this momentary window, this wild, exciting breaking news opportunity, where we are focused on Facebook hackers, to ask a basic question. With the reality of multiple hackings and identity thefts, why are you involved with Facebook in the first place? And why in the world do you continue?

Full disclosure: I am not fond of passing around snapshots of my gorgeous face from the past or the present, and am a fierce control freak about who knows my personal life and business.

It's also easy to write me off as a Boomer who has a neurotic attachment to what the word "friend" really means. Guilty as charged am I.

At a party this weekend, several people asked how to reach me on Facebook, to which I replied, "I'm only tangentially on Facebook".

I am sad to report that nearly 70 percent of those inquiries came from people who thought I was a comedienne who made up fancy words, like "tangentially".

I know people who proudly and publicly broadcast the exact, (rounded-up), number of their so-called "friends" on Facebook, for the baffling purpose of...?

Well, it can only be that a great majority of people have signed over their lives to having a Facebook-promoted virtual existence. Please pause here and digest.

In boasting about Facebook numbers, do people really think those "friends" are "friends"? (Insert here a user-friendly, antique book on friendship).

I do understand that people like to "share" their pictures with others from their long-ago past.

Speaking as someone who studies human behavior, I say that we have an epidemic of phone phobia sweeping across this country, if not the world.

The human voice is considered an obstacle, a dreaded infrequent necessity that there should be pills for. Oh, wait, there are pills for that.

I know this point of view makes me seem ancient, inflexible, and plummets my popularity in the imaginary polls to a fresh low.

Also true is the reality that Facebook is here to stay. That is, until a new genius social media "product" replaces it and sends it into history's sociological landfill. What happens to communication then? Hint: The human voice will not be involved.

While we still use our voices, can't we talk about how phony, and far away from real, Facebook is? Think about the words "social" and "media". Media corrupts and wipes away true "social" every time.

Media inserts persona; replacing, eliminating and running away with any authentic "social" or "self" we may unconsciously want.

In other words, the media is all about creating a fiction of who we are.

"Social media" is nothing more than our own personal public relations tool.

I do believe that people still hunger for real human, and social, connection.

Is it just me? I know we can ask ourselves what Facebook is really about. Think of it as a fun question!

Even our forefathers knew that seeing and knowing is not for the weak of stomach.

In the Facebook tornado, we who look can easily see -- duh -- what an inferior replacement it is to real human connection.

It is not soothing to see and know Facebook as a wildly popular replacement for real living.

Nor is it a comfort to see how identities are easily stolen through Facebook and other social media sites.

Even more disturbing is how we are volunteering in this way to lose, not just our identities, but our true selves and our connection to being alive.