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Dr. Jeffrey H. Toney

Dr. Jeffrey H. Toney

Posted: November 11, 2010 01:21 PM

Mama Grizzlies, Kanye West: "Man Up"

What's Your Reaction:

"It's a strange year for gender in politics.
Polite sensitivities are being shelved during this election cycle, a trend led by the conservative female candidates who call themselves 'mama grizzlies.'
"

I've been struggling with something lately, and need some advice. Things came into focus when I heard rapper Kanye West in an interview on November 11 with Matt Lauer on The Today Show. Expressing regret about his earlier remark "George Bush doesn't care about black people" after Hurricane Katrina, Kanye West said "I needed to man up... I came to say I've made mistakes."

The phrase "man up" seems to have crept into our lexicon this past year, coming from some surprising sources. Conversations amongst men using such a phrase surprises no one ("boys will be boys") but female candidates running for the Senate using it as a challenge to a male candidate is attention grabbing. Is it not ironic that a successful woman, in any sector, would use a sexist phrase as a barb? That public figures such as Kanye West, Sarah Palin and Sharron Angle each chose the same phrase to express a desire to take responsibility? Who decided that such resolve is an attribute of one sex and not the other?

I am grappling with these questions, as a father of a young daughter. As she navigates her world and learns how to be a good person, the media's role models for young women are performers such as Hannah Montana, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Miranda Cosgrove and Lady Gaga -- to name a few. In some instances, these performers have an opportunity to take responsibility, to take a stand in something they believe in -- and millions of young girls are watching.

The next time my daughter needs encouragement to take a stand or to accept responsibility for her actions, it could never ring true for me to say "man up". I think I would tell her to be strong.

What would you say?

 

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"It's a strange year for gender in politics. Polite sensitivities are being shelved during this election cycle, a trend led by the conservative female candidates who call themselves 'mama grizzlies.'"...
"It's a strange year for gender in politics. Polite sensitivities are being shelved during this election cycle, a trend led by the conservative female candidates who call themselves 'mama grizzlies.'"...
 
 
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
edrice222
03:18 PM on 11/14/2010
As if "being a man" is what makes someone strong and brave, responsible and truthful!!!
That particular phrase is a disservice to all concerned. When women use it, it becomes even more absurd, and they unconsciously demean themselves for being women.
It would infer that for a woman to be brave, she should "put her man pants on" or "man up" herself.
How about "be honest, and have the integrity and strength to take responsibility and stand up for what you believe".
A few more words, not as catchy, but, hey, it's accurate.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Jeffrey H. Toney
09:01 AM on 11/15/2010
Absolutely! Thank you for your comment.
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JuanCarlosysofia
05:12 PM on 11/15/2010
it'sonly a convenient phrase.MACHO is the same thing.."macho completo" a full man.not to be confused with a full michigan.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
guitarguy22
03:48 AM on 11/14/2010
I'd say "woman up"
02:20 PM on 11/13/2010
I agree. It's very strange to see female candidates who would like to be perceived as strong mother grizzlies, then using a phrase that implies that perseverance is a manly trait, or other phrases that imply that men "wear the pants."
"Man up" could also mean "confess," or to admit something. Again, why is this a masculine trait?
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
edrice222
03:23 PM on 11/14/2010
F and F for you mbaty. And some (((((((((( applause )))))))))). :-)
That says it exactly!!!
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THETINGLYONE
04:56 PM on 11/12/2010
as parents we sound so lame SO LAME when we try to ingratiate ourselves and use what ever catch phrases are the current trend....
The kids are going to use what they use , and even more so if they know it will offend the "establishment"....even "thats gay" won't go away anytime soon as it has transcended the obvious connotation,,

Ya gotta do what my parents did with Aerosmith lyrics,,, they ignored them but we knew they knew
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Lisa Spurgeon Bullock
01:00 AM on 11/12/2010
I personally would tell my child the same as you, be strong. The phrase "man up" is derogatory and I would never put my kid down. But at the same time I am not one bit offended at the term "man up". I do not find it sexist at all. I have used the term myself and to me it is said usually when you are sick of someone not taking any responsibility and want them to grow up! Just like when you call someone an a@# but you are not really calling them a donkey, in this case you don't really mean be a man or a woman, you just mean get your crap together.

I do find it very interesting to see this article today. Just this past week in my philosophy class we were discussing the distinctions of how men and women think and how far women have come in the past century. Our society is quickly changing. Today for every man that graduates college, three women graduate. I think women today have come so far that we don't really take offense at what some perceive as sexist. Instead women today own the terms for themselves. For example, I know myself and most all of my female friends are not offended being called the B word, heck we call ourselves that! It is definitely a different time altogether.
11:25 PM on 11/11/2010
Quit laying the responsibility of "role model" on others. It's your job to raise your children.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Jeffrey H. Toney
08:45 AM on 11/12/2010
“Role model” may not have been the best choice of terms; perhaps "influencers" would be more appropriate. Of course it is the parents’ responsibility to raise our children, but we do not live in a vacuum. The young female performers I cite are more than artists. They represent their generation through our media and have an opportunity to not only entertain our children but to teach them as well. Think of Disney's "Friends for Change" (http://disney.go.com/projectgreen/) and Nickelodeon's "The Big Green Help' (http://www.biggreenhelp.com/#) - such campaigns can be highly effective in getting out the message of protecting our planet. Any opportunity to combine entertainment and education should be used, since learning should be fun!
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JuanCarlosysofia
05:20 PM on 11/15/2010
what's disney and green got to do with macho?you're trying to slide something under me...i knows fish from fowl
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Jeffrey H. Toney
07:29 PM on 11/11/2010
Thank you for your thoughtful comments. This may well be a case, per Oscar Wilde, of "Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life". Regardless, I believe we should stop it in its tracks, to the extent that we can. Words have tremendous power.
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08:06 PM on 11/11/2010
The word "man" can be used in contrast to the female gender, or to connote adulthood in contrast to boyhood, or neutrally as in the species name homo sapien. Since you referred to the phrase "man up" as new to the lexicon (not really so new!), I give you the benefit of the doubt as I correct you on the facts; Kanye did not make a sexist statement, he made a statement about being an adult. Just trust me. This phrase that is so new to you is not sexist the way he used it.

On the other hand, the way the "mama grizzlies" use it is not only dysfunctional but pathological in its self hate. To the extent that you alluded to that, good, interesting article. But the tie to Kanye, and from him to GWB, is misinformed.

Imagine an exchange student, say the age of your daughter who is the Hannah Montana fan. You say "Katz' pajamas" (a phrase which I just recently learned is a reference to a tailor who was the best in his profession in his time), the exchange student understands you to mean "cat's pajamas" and thereafter fears you, wondering about you sanity. That is how far the grisly mamas are from the correct meaning of the phrase "man up" which is simply about being adult and taking responsibility for one's own actions. President Obama was right, Kanye was a j-a at that one award ceremony, but he's not part of this problem.
07:11 PM on 11/11/2010
The fact that the idiom has become widespread has, of course, obscured its roots. "Man up" is a phrase from ball-and-goal sports when possession of the ball changes unexpectedly. The team suddenly on defense is urged to "Man Up!", that is, cease offensive play and initiate man-to-man coverage on defense against designated opposing players. This requires additional effort because of the change in field/court position and momentum. By extension it is a show of character to demonstrate hustle under such exigencies.
This phrase evolves next through hip-hop/urban culture vis-a-vis its role in basketball play. To perform a difficult task expeditiously is to "Man Up" viz. Training Day, where Alonzo Harris encourages Jake Hoyt to rapidly consume the contents of a marijuana pipe by repeating "Man Up!" until Hoyt is finished.
Finally, politicians co-opt a phrase that, in all likelihood, they have learned from their children, who do listen to hip-hop, viz. Chris Christie bringing the phrase to the Republican Party when then-Governor Corzine levels unsubtle insinuations about Christie's weight. "He should just 'man up' and call me fat."
Is it ironic that the staple political cliche this season should come to us from a hip-hop allusion to basketball play? Or more so perhaps, because people think Kanye is echoing the politicians, and not the other way around?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
qthedancer
02:17 AM on 11/12/2010
Wow. Facts. Clarification. Love 'em.
07:01 PM on 11/14/2010
Oh this catch phrase has been around the African American community seems forever! But I always wondered where did it come from.Thx for the enlightment. Funny that's its mainstream now.
05:22 PM on 11/11/2010
I'm glad you wrote this. Yes, it is something I noticed a lot of this year, too, and I'm deeply disturbed by it, as by the related phrase "put on your man pants." I was teaching Julius Caesar and noted to my class the numerous instances in which being male is to be strong and tough, whereas to be a woman is to be weak and foolish, to the point that to behave according to one or the other gender makes a character that gender--e.g., Cassius becomes a woman and Portia tries to be a man.
05:05 PM on 11/11/2010
In post-feminist America, women can use the language they formerly found objectionable (but men are not allowed to). In post-civil rights struggle America, African-Americans can use the n-word (but whites are not allowed to). Jews can use self-deprecating descriptors, but if anyone else does - its anti-semitism. It is politically incorrect to insult others, but not oneself. What is not to understand? Don't do to others what you can do to yourself.
04:46 PM on 11/11/2010
I can tell you the same thing my teenage daughter will tell my teenage son. "grow some"
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
edrice222
03:21 PM on 11/14/2010
So balls are the secret ingredient to strength?? Which means what for women?
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JuanCarlosysofia
05:31 PM on 11/15/2010
aha!..somebody "manned up" and cut to the chase...it's also telling women to be women.much confusion abounds.steinem was a communist operative out to neuter America.all sinister deeds have dark roots.i will taunt you again later...Max Liberal
04:30 PM on 11/11/2010
Considering Christine O'Donnell got "man-pants'd" and Sharron Angle got "manned down" I imagine this usage will fade. With an luck Sarah Palin will soon be wo-"man overboard."
marilyn 63
LEVEL ONE NETWORKER
01:12 AM on 11/12/2010
perfect!! thank you!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
frank day
Republican = FAIL
02:39 PM on 11/11/2010
"time to get your man pants on"???
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JuanCarlosysofia
05:34 PM on 11/15/2010
i have a seersucker suit with tiny little squares pattern.promise you won't laugh.