Do you know the story of Narcissus? He was the very handsome fellow in Greek mythology who, because of his indifference and disdain toward others, was punished by the gods by falling in love with his own image. He was so enraptured by his beauty that he was unable to pull himself away from his own reflection, and he wasted away and died.
Well, according to recent research (to be discussed below), Narcissus has spawned many offspring in our current generation, and narcissism is alive and well and living in America. Just so we are all on the same wavelength, narcissism is a personality characteristic associated with self-absorption, egocentrism, an overestimation of one's own importance and abilities, a sense of entitlement and a disregard for others.
One study found that 30 percent of young people were classified as narcissistic according to a widely used psychological test. That number has doubled in the last 30 years. Another study reported a 40-percent decline among young people in empathy, a personality attribute inversely related to narcissism, since the 1980s.
These findings aren't surprising to anyone who pays attention to the "it's all about me" culture in which we currently live. My questions are where this rise in narcissism is coming from and what impact it will have on our society in the future.
One obvious place where young people are learning about narcissism is our omnipresent and unrelenting popular culture. A study by the celebrity psychiatrist Dr. Drew, in which 200 "celebrities" (I put the word in quotes because the threshold for being considered a celebrity these days has declined significantly) completed the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, found that -- here's a shocker -- they were significantly more narcissistic than the general population. Interestingly, the celebrities who actually had a talent (for example, musicians) tended to be less narcissistic. Guess who were the most self-absorbed celebrities? Female reality-TV stars! It's not surprising that those celebrities who were famous for being famous were the most narcissistic; their narcissism drove them to become celebrities.
Another fascinating study that was just published explored the changes in music lyrics over the past three decades. The researchers found a significant shift toward lyrics that reflect narcissism ("I" and "me" appear more often "we" and "us") and hostility (change from positive to angry words and emotions). And these findings aren't just due to the increased popularity and influence of hip-hop music (which is known for its aggrandizement of the artists and its venom), but rather are evident across musical genres.
And you don't need to go far to collect your own data on narcissism. Do these names ring a bell: Charlie Sheen, Terrell Owens and Kanye West?
It's not surprising to see a rise in narcissism in this generation given that young people are being bombarded by these messages 24/7 through every form of media. And here's the truly disturbing part: How can young people these days avoid being infected with this "disease" when, thanks to the "wired" world in which they live, the majority of messages they receive venerate and encourage narcissism?
The self-esteem movement has likely contributed to this increase in self-adoration. Many parents these days do everything they can to make their children feel good about themselves. The result has been a decline in real self-esteem and an increase in self-love and unjustifiable personal "exceptionalism."
Also, technology and social media have done their part to promote narcissism. All of the time spent absorbed in screens has reduced the amount of actual human (i.e., face-to-face) interaction that children have, thus depriving them of the experiences needed to develop essential social skills such as empathy, compassion and consideration for others.
Certainly, the shift in societal values away from collectivism and toward individualism ("You're on your own"), away from civic responsibility and toward self-gratification, and away from meaningful contributions to society and toward personal success (as defined by wealth, power and status), have also contributed to the cultural messages of narcissism in which young people are presently immersed.
It's one thing to see that there is a growing number of narcissists in America today. But the real concern is not the individual narcissists among us, but when our society embraces and accepts narcissism as the norm. And that time may have arrived. That's when we have to start asking the next question, which is far scarier: What effect will this increasingly normalized culture of narcissism have on our society?
You might argue that narcissism has existed for as long as Homo sapiens has populated planet Earth, and we've managed to survive. In fact, some researchers have argued that the recent rise in narcissism is due more to this generation's willingness to express what they really believe rather than an actual increase in narcissism. But there seems to be a qualitative, rather just a quantitative, shift in so many aspects of our culture that I just don't buy that explanation.
The answer that came most readily to my mind, and an apocryphal one at that, is a gradual yet inexorable tear in the fabric of our society. Think of all the qualities that enable us to form a functioning and vital nation -- respect, compassion, tolerance, selflessness -- and you will see that they don't exist in the narcissistic personality (or culture). Gosh, I just had a really terrifying thought. The indifference, egotism, disrespect and lack of consideration that are central to narcissism are also reflective of the increasingly polarized and vitriolic tone of our current body politic, recent unethical corporate behavior, the rise in cheating among students in school and the gamut of bad behavior among professional athletes. As Pogo noted so famously, "We have met the enemy, and he is us."
This is definitely not a rosy picture and definitely not one to encourage an optimistic view of the future. Should we see this trend as just another sign of the impending death of the American empire? The cynic in me (and those who follow my writing know that it fills a big portion of my brain) would offer an emphatic "yes!"
Yet the optimist in me (small, but stubborn) holds out some hope. I don't mean to demonize and indict this entire generation. In fact, there are a lot of amazing young people out there. I speak at schools around the U.S. and I meet kids (I know I'm getting old when I call them that!) who are motivated, engaged, respectful and compassionate. Many young people are bucking the trend and are resisting the lure of the "dark side." And they are our best hope for beating back the onslaught of narcissism and keeping the best of humanity alive and well and living in America.
Follow Dr. Jim Taylor on Twitter: www.twitter.com/DrJimTaylor
Thank you for posting such an important subject for both the individual and society. It is difficult subject matter because Narcissism runs along the mental health continuum. We all carry traits but at some point it can become disruptive to a person's life and at the heart of it, relationships are destroyed, and the narcissist's sense of self is damaged . Very provocative subject. For anyone interested, here is some great reading by some of the best authors on the subject:
Essential Papers on Narcissim edited by Andrew P. Morrison, Md.
It contains papers by Freud, Kohut, Kernberg, Alice Miller, and many more. Good stuff.
I can't help but wonder: Is narcissism really on the rise, or is it more blatant and easier to detect? I'm a baby boomer, and I can recall only too well how I and others in my age group were victimized by narcissists when we were young. These narcissists were definitely not products of today's high-tech, plugged-in, media-saturated culture. And those who are still alive feel out of touch with it.
But whether the numbers are holding steady or rising, the fact remains that there's way too much narcissism. Actually, even one person with this disorder would be too much. And it's impacting our society and culture to a degree and in ways that bode ill for all of us.
At some point we all make a bad decision, do something that harms another person, or cling to an outdated belief. When we do, we strive to reduce the cognitive dissonance that results from feeling that we, who are smart, moral, and right, just did something that was dumb, immoral, or wrong.
Whether the consequences are trivial or tragic, it is difficult, and for some people impossible, to say, “I made a terrible mistake.” The higher the stakes—emotional, financial, moral—the greater that difficulty. Self-justification, the hardwired mechanism that blinds us to the possibility that we were wrong, has benefits: it keeps us from torturing ourselves with regrets. But it can also block our ability to see our faults and errors. It legitimizes prejudice and corruption, and can keep people from changing disastrous behavior that is costly to them and society.
“We are all capable of believing things which we know to be untrue, and then, when we are finally proved wrong, impudently twisting the facts so as to show that we were right.” George Orwell
For more on the subject, see:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance
“Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): why we justify foolish beliefs, bad decisions, and hurtful acts,” by Tavris and Aronson
Roy Mankovitz, Director
http://www.MontecitoWellness.com
A research organization
This behavior is all too common today, and is related to denialism and confirmation bias.
Denialism is choosing to deny reality as a way to avoid an uncomfortable truth. It is the refusal to accept an empirically verifiable reality -an irrational action that withholds validation of a historical experience or event.
Confirmation bias is a tendency for people to favor information that confirms their preconceptions, regardless of whether the information is true. As a result, people gather evidence and recall information from memory selectively, and interpret it in a biased way.
You can see this behavior in the birther movement, the doomsday movements, organized religion, politics, and the corporate world in general. Unfortunately, it is also rampant in the medical arena where, arguably, the most entrenched conflict of interest is a disinclination to reverse a previous opinion.
Regarding remedies, this type of behavior is usually considered a personality disorder, which responds very poorly to therapy. If a person cannot admit to, or take responsibility for their actions, therapy just becomes a punching bag to blame others. I avoid such persons, and put them on my “do not respond” list.
Here is a quote from Lao Tzu (500 B.C.):
“A great nation is like a great man:
When he makes a mistake, he realizes it.
Having realized it, he admits it.
Having admitted it, he corrects it.
He considers those who point out his faults
as his most benevolent teachers.”
That being said, you are certainly correct in highlighting the particular dangers of the pathological narcissist. These are truly dangerous people. Their pathology is so intractable that many professionals won't treat them.
As dangerous as they are, the greater danger is the broader society that encourages, and literally rewards their behavior. We are on a very dangereous and slippery slope now. Frankly, I doubt that we can recover.
I have seen parents engaging their children in all kinds of social activities to try to balance their lives, but I think there might be a disproportionate amount of kids spending way too much time gaming, surfing the internet, spending time on "social sites".
Narcissism has been removed from the psychiatric diagnostic manual as a psychiatric disease, with much debate. I believe it is a combination of biological, parental, social influences that create the Narcissistic personality.
I'd chalk plenty of this trend up to Hollywood, TV and even the extreme corporate news that in its own special way ("only a whacko would think x,y, or z") spends so much time trying to shame people into not thinking for themselves, caring too much what others think and most importantly, just accepting what they are told (which of course serves corporate agendas and profit margins)