Are You Singing "The Inner Bag Lady" Blues?
Lessons in Living: Part 3
The Wisdom of Warren Buffet and Eckhart Tolle
Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked.
Warren Buffett
Focus your attention on the Now and tell me what problem you have in this moment.
Eckhart Tolle
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.
Janis Joplin
OK, I slipped the Janis Joplin quote in here, because after reading my monthly investment statement yesterday, I did not feel like some who's last name is Rich! Anything but. In fact, I felt more like singing another chorus of the perennial favorite, "Here Comes The Inner Bag Lady" blues!
Perhaps I should explain about the bag lady part. Remember the little gerbil from last time? Allow me to formally introduce you. Her name is Eloise McPhee, (no relation to Nanny McPhee, but a devotee) but I call her "Ellie", for short. Not only is she the icon of my fear, but she doubles as my inner "Bag Lady In Waiting".
After seeing the look on my face when I opened the envelope containing the "good" news, it took Ellie less than a nanosecond to jump on the wheel and start grinding away. The lyrics to "Me and Bobby McGee" came to mind as I contemplated approaching my own "freedom", defined by Janis as "nothing left to lose".
As Ellie began to work up a sweat, I thought it best to offer her some words of assurance. "It isn't the end of the world, Ellie," I offered. I wasn't sure I believed it myself and clearly, she was hearing none of it. She took one look at all those minus signs and was chained to the wheel for a good two hours before I could get her down and on board with the tea and rocking chair.
"Listen, Ellie", I whispered in my most reassuring voice, "I know this looks and feels scary, but really sweetheart, it'll be OK. You know how you like to keep going round and round on your favorite wheel? Well, the market's kind of like that. It goes down and it goes up. But look, you and I have weathered many storms together and we've always come out on the other side, haven't we? We will this time too. You've just got to trust." (Trust seems to be a big issue with her!)
"And Ellie, remember what our good friend Eckhart says: "Focus your attention on the Now and tell me what problem you have in this moment". You and I get into trouble if we get too far out ahead of ourselves." "And don't forget," I remind her, "we have so much to be grateful for. Let's take a bath in gratitude while we're here and after, we'll have cookies to go with the tea."
Believe it or not, Ellie is actually getting better at coming down from the wheel these days, not that she doesn't jump on with a high degree of regularity. Maybe it's a factor of age. She is a seasoned vet, you know. But after all these years, she's finally beginning to get that there's another world beyond the wheel!
Ellie loves the tea and rocking chair routine and often reminds me to get on board if I forget. "Uh, excuse me," she'll say, looking at her watch. "Aren't we due for a session together? It's 4 PM. Isn't it time for our break?" I know something is shifting inside when the roles are reversed and she's the one reminding me that it's time for tea and a gentle rock together.
From time to time, I still get hooked when I look at those financial statements (an activity I'm disavowing for the foreseeable future, by the way). I momentarily become identified with the numbers on the page and lose sight of what really matters. I mistakenly believe that I am what I have or don't have; that I am my "stuff" or my bank account balance. The doom and gloom refrain plays on in an endless loop and in spite of the fact that my mortgage is current and I've never made a late payment in my life, I have already mentally begun to pack my bags and take up residence on the street.
I haven't met a woman yet who doesn't secretly harbor similar fears. Remember Lily Tomlin's endearing Trudy, the Bag Lady? Come on now, women! Who among you doesn't have an Inner Bag Lady lurching in the shadows of your psyche? And how about it, men? Don't you have the equivalent? Let's give them names and "out" them! What do these characters really want? If we can shine the light of awareness on them, perhaps they'll shrivel up and die like snails crawling through salt.
Here's another quote from Tolle that puts this all in perspective:
"Those who have not found their true wealth, which is the radiant joy of Being and the deep, unshakable peace that comes with it, are beggars, even if they have great material wealth. They are looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security, or love, while they have a treasure within that not only includes all those things but is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer."
I can laugh at myself when I sing "The Inner Bag Lady Blues", but I know this to be true: in terms of what really matters, I am abundantly wealthy. At the beginning and at the end of the day, what matters to me most is priceless: the love of my family and friends, and being in service to the community of Beings who share this planet. Why not consider and acknowledge your own abundant wealth, no matter what the numbers are on your financial statements?
Please consider this an invitation to share your thoughts here; now, and in the coming weeks, as we continue to discover what these times have in store for us. We might be in for a rough road ahead, but let's see what pearls we can find by the side of the road and share them with each other.
Remember, the blessings are always with you.
Follow Dr. Judith Rich on Twitter: www.twitter.com/dr_judithrich
Loading comments…
Want to reply to a comment? Hint: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to
My inner bag lady is actually a street-wise homeless teen, Sydney. I currently find her sprawled out on the soft green grass sunning herself in the city park - peaceful, content, free.
These last 15 months have been a blast of exhilarating clarity of what truly is important in my life; my health, the love of my family and friends, and my relationships. Everything else was just a dress rehearsal.
For the moment I think I will join Sydney, it would feel good to have the sun warm my skin, to feel the softness of the grass on my bare feet - in the moment, present in the now, unattached freedom.
I've learned a lot from my friend, the bag lady, over the past year or so (since I closed a business I had invested in heavily). We've spent some time together, sitting on my inner bus bench and commiserating over our doom and reassuring each other that, yes, the world is coming to an end. Those were times when I felt very small and was sure that I had failed, not only at business, but at life.
I found that the biggest fear my bag lady has is, if she were to lose everything, she'd be cast aside by those she loved and, being ridiculed and rejected, she'd slide into oblivion in the gutters of Biscayne Blvd. Under all the material worries lay buried a deep fear of losing the respect and love of those I hold most dear. What a revelation and what an immense feeling of freedom as I had actually reached a place of financial low only to find a stronger, peaceful and cleaner me and establish closer, stronger tie with my family, my partner and my friends. I've found an unwavering support that has buoyed me through this time and, now, has me on the other side with a wellspring of inner strength, courage and love. I've found and claimed my success and it has nothing to do with money. I found my heart again and everything else is icing on the cake. :)
Miss Rev,
It's humbling to see the lengths we go to in order to get the lessons we need. I recommend reading The Descent of Inanna (it's a short poem easily found on the internet). Substitute yourself in the story of this Sumerian goddess and her descent into the underworld. She had to give up everything in order to be born unto herself. The soul calls us to descend to our own deepest places in order to recover the parts of ourselves we've forsaken.
I honor your journey, my friend.
As always,
Judith
Judith, You've recently written about 'fear' and now this week 'money'. What else is there to take on? If we could get a handle on them and turn these two around . . .
I've managed various teams within one company and it seemed that the team I was meeting with often wanted to blame the team not in the room. I finally had to make a rule: the answer is in THIS room. We took on finding a solution, actions and strategies that could be enacted by each of us in the room, no matter what anyone else was up to, without waiting, blaming or making excuses.
In the financial NOW I move past blaming the banks, mortgage lenders, Greenspan, etc. and ask myself 'what can I do' to protect myself, my family and my future financially so that I am never facing my own 'inner bag man' and if I am, that I am using it as my 'warning angel' again, to make sure I am in action to keep the blessings rolling in, not only the financial ones, but all of them.
The answer that comes up in this NOW is to speak out about VOTING and getting involved in government, institutions and leadership in our communities, big and small. I know you're active, Dr. J., and we need to all speak up, stand up and take action. The answer is in THIS virtual room that you've assembled. G-d Bless us all to do what's right.
JMlynchtra
Amen, James!
And consider also, the size of this collective "room" we all occupy. Aren't we all in the room together?
Thanks, as always, for bringing your voice to this room we share. It's so good to know there are angels like you to remind us of our higher purpose.
Well, since reading this yesterday I now have a name for my inner bag lady: Gertrude. Ahhh, good ole Gertie. It's as if every grateful bone in my body takes a vacation the minute Gertie feels "threatened" with financial "despair". I put despair in quotes, because it is truly a perspective. I LOVE returning to the moment and seeing that the electricity is on, the fridge is stocked, the car is running and I am fully clothed.
I happen to watch a two-week old episode of Oprah last night that had financial guru, Suze Orman on. Oprah asked Suze what she thought brought us to this current financial state. Suze said, "Lies and deception.
This is exactly what Gertie does in a round about way! Like you point out, Judith, even in nothingness, there is freedom! I get to be authentic, perhaps more now than ever, in order to silence (or at least embrace) our inner bag ladies and ride through these rough times.
Whoa, Gertie!
Isn't it amazing to witness this part of ourselves and know that "it's just a conversation" we're having with the frightened little gerbil aka, fear?
I have a confession to make. Ever since I wrote this article and publicly "outed" her, Ellie has been rather quiet of late. I think she knows she's been busted!
Come on, people! Who else wants to "bust" themselves? Step up and name your "bag person" and reveal what they really want from you. You might just get to freedom without having to sing "Me and Ellie McGee".
dear dr judith, you are so helpful in this time of worry, need and wonderment. when all else fails, JUST SING MAMMY!!!!
I know it sounds as cheesy as can be, but I really have gotten into the habit of counting my blessings when I get into bed at night. I did much too much worrying in the last decade of my life, and all it got me was insomnia. Things did happen - bad and good, and maybe it was after all that and finally maturing a bit in my fifties that it was more helpful to focus on what I do have, rather than what I don't have or may lose.
Gypsywannabe,
Really? You think "counting your blessings" is cheesy? Last time I checked, every great teaching points to gratitude as the basis for happiness and abundance. Even those "bad" things that happen can be looked at through the eyes of gratitude, for most often, they carry the biggest lessons. Eckhart Tolle teaches that it's impossible to be grateful and be unhappy at the same time. I'd add, it's also impossible to be grateful and be depressed at the same time.
Ellie McPhee (the gerbil) is that part of me, and I assert everybody has an equivalent, that forgets all this in a flash and goes to the "worry wheel", thinking that worry will solve something. Of course, it doesn't.
Keep on with the gratitude. It's a path to presence. Cheese is for gerbils!
Thanks for sharing...
Not to be impertinent, but it is Kris Kristofferson, who wrote "Me and Bobby McGee."
Dharmawire,
Thanks for that correction. To be more accurate, I should have said "made popular by Janis Joplin". Somehow, I associate that song with her. Kris could never give it the juice that Janis did.
And it's OK if you want to be impertinent. That's also allowed!
Judith
Thanks for talking me down! Yes, best to focus on the here and now. I was really glad I had most of my savings in CD's at 4.55% until they came due just a couple of weeks ago and the rate was cut in half. Then my husband and I (self-employed) started contributing to IRAs a couple of years ago for the tax savings, and they have all tanked by about 30%. We still have about 20 working years left so the situation could be worse.
Well Francine,
You're right in line with what Eckhart Tolle teaches regarding staying in the Now. And it isn't that simple to do, but I'll testify to how masterfully you manage to walk this talk. I've known you for several years, through life's ups and downs, and you've always stayed very grounded and optimistic.
Thanks for weighing in here and for sharing your experience!
Judith
I'm in a slightly different position. Having had nothing to invest over the years and already sliding deeply into debt in the past 18 months I've been working very vigorously at staying in the NOW and present to what I am grateful for and trusting that it will all work out. It has been the main source of peace for me. To stay away from worry and fear which is always lurking right around the corner given my circumstances.
Now as the market drops and everyone else panics I can be grateful that I have no investments and therefore nothing to lose. So as Janis says, I'm experiencing freedom now.
I highly reccommend staying in the NOW and not succombing to worrying which just anchors us in fear and paralyses us. It colors our choices and makes them ones we often regret. I'm clear that what I am saying sounds simple, but it's not that easy. I'm here to say it can be done.
I've taken a "cactus survival" approach. I know what it was when the last statement arrived. I'll know what's left with the next.
Watching it go lower on an hourly/daily/weekly basis only causes more acid reflux. It's certainly not like I can do anything to stop it...
In normal times I might check my 401k once a week but now that it is in intensive Care I monitor it once a day, not in order to "move money," as they put it-- a risky thing to do-- but because even now the market has good days, though amply overshadowed by the bad ones. Then too my investments do not loom large on my personal horizon. My day has several other points of interest.
You must be logged in to comment. Log in or connect with
