Speaking The Powerful Truth: The Soul's #1 Medicine

Agreement #1-" Be impeccable with your word."
The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz

In my post last week, 10 Ways To Nurture Soulful Living, I listed speaking the truth at #1.

In your responses, you affirmed your soul's need for nurturing, for in spite of all we have achieved, there is a universal experience of a deep, essential part of ourselves that feels unattended. I assert this unattended part is the soul, calling out to be nurtured, aching to tell its truth.

Speaking the truth gets top billing, because without it, nothing else in your life has legs on which to stand. Your truth, as you see it, know it and speak it, constitutes the pillars on which your life is built. Withhold it; shave it, trim it, and you've sold out your soul. Since the soul seeks the truth, anything less is a compromise. To the soul it's a lie. The ego tells a story to cover it up from the mind, a justification to placate the conscience. But the soul never forgets a lie.

Consider Don Miguel Ruiz's book, The Four Agreements, based on the ancient Toltec wisdom tradition of the people of southern Mexico, who believed that science and spirit are both part of the same entity and governed by the universe.

Agreement #1: "Be impeccable with your word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

This instruction assumes you know and understand the power of your word and how to use it. Yet we live in a society that not only does not value speaking the truth, it rewards deceit.

We're conditioned to lie, though we rarely call it that when the truth has been breached. "Mistakes were made" is how the media and politicos spin lying. The world economic collapse is the outcome of a system of lies that finally unraveled, bringing down an entire country (Iceland), investment institutions (Lehman Bros, AIG) and companies that have formed the backbone of our country's manufacturing sector like GM and Chrysler.

What's more important than telling the truth?

If the truth is so powerful, why do people resist telling it? Frankly, because there are more tangible rewards for "spinning" than there are for being courageous. When our founding father chopped down that cherry tree and proclaimed, "I cannot tell a lie," we should have stamped those words on every coin in the land. Perhaps we might have learned. Instead, here's what we settle for:

A) Looking good and having others' approval

We worry if we tell the whole truth, we might offend someone. We worry they'll think badly of us or we'll hurt their feelings. We worry they'll withdraw their approval, which would suck because we depend upon these people to give us our sense of self worth, affirm our identity and justify our existence!

This is the result of faulty thinking, conditioned over a lifetime of wanting to fit in and appear normal. Underneath this is an inner conversation that fears you're not really normal. Everyone else is normal, but not you. So to appear normal you need to play the game like everyone else plays it. And guess what? Everyone else is playing it just like you!

We end up being inauthentic and dishonest, which becomes the standard for normal. All this takes place below the level of our conscious awareness. We're living a lie and lying to ourselves about the fact that we're living a lie! Here's the lie: It's not other people's feelings we're concerned about. It's our own!

B) Staying Safe and Avoiding Pain

Telling the truth can be very uncomfortable. It's painful to look into someone's eyes and see them hurting because of something you've said or done. Better to fess up and own up before the cosmic bank starts to charge interest on your dishonesty. Sooner or later, the truth will out. The interest rate is high for prolonging the inevitable. You rob yourself of courage and integrity by playing it safe. Money will not buy it back.

C) Being in Control and Being Right

Withholding the truth is a way of manipulating others and maintaining control. You tell yourself others can't handle the truth. I assert we're really not all that concerned about other people when we withhold the truth. It's our own feelings we're protecting. We simply can't tolerate witnessing other people be uncomfortable in the presence of our honesty. So we dress it up to make it more palatable.

"OK," you say, "but do I have to go around like a jerk telling people what I really think? Am I supposed to sound off on people, read them the riot act? Do I just go home and vomit the truth all over my spouse? What about the aftermath? How do I handle that?"

Good questions! Consider this:

Life's too short to live it as a lie.

What if you could learn to tell the truth in such a way that those on the receiving end feel they've been served? What if you could deliver the truth, as you know it to be, and the other person thanks you for your honesty? It can most definitely be done and I recommend you learn how to do it before your final breath.

Learn to tell the truth in a way that it truly does set you free. Be a responsible, humble, servant to the truth. Own it as yours. Claim it. Telling the truth is a humbling experience. Be humbled by it. When you surrender your ego to being in service to the truth, everybody wins.

We are living in a time when the lies of the past can no longer be tolerated as we move into a new stage of our collective consciousness. The old system is collapsing under the weight of its untruths and we are here to sweep up the wreckage and begin again. The truth is often very painful to tell and to receive, but it will set us free. From the wreckage, new possibilities arise.

Our job is to be guardians of the truth that is aligned with the values on which we seek to build the future. We must settle for nothing less than the truth that serves the highest good for all, not just for a few.

Honor your word as your sacred bond. Tell the impeccable truth, without compromise. If you do, your soul will reward you with a sense of peace, satisfaction, freedom, lightness, aliveness, and completion. And that, my friend, cannot be purchased at any price. All the riches in the world cannot buy you what telling the truth provides. This then, is what your soul came to have you learn.

I'd love to hear your thoughts and ideas about this week's topic. How does telling the impeccable truth live for you? What gets in the way for you? What happens when you have the courage to do so?

Please stop by the comment section and share your experience. You can also click the Become A Fan button to receive automatic updates of my blog, posted every Wednesday. You can also send me friend request on Facebook and join our FB Dream Launchers group.

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Comments

[wm1066]

I worked for a small company that sold a service and if someone made a mistake that person had to apologize to the customer, and they couldn't make excuses. You had to just say it was your fault and what could you do for the client to make it better. At first it was hard to do but once you realized that the customer wasn't going to bite your head off and that they liked your candor it got easier..an­d then I noticed the customers actually had more faith in me because I had told the truth. It was a light bulb going off over my head. Its better to tell the truth straight off then try to get away with something. As they say, the cover up is usually worse than the crime.
Since then I have employed this with my bosses and it works just as well with them as a client. If I screw up I tell my boss right away, and they might be mad at me for awhile but the trust Ive gained has far reaching benefits.

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Yes! You nailed it wm1066, thank you!

That's it! Once you muster the courage to tell the truth, it becomes much easier. Then, anything less cannot fly.

People want the truth, even if it's uncomfortable to hear. They really want it. We needn't be intimidated by our conditioning to believe others "can't handle the truth". It's all nonsense. We're conditioned to fear honesty.

No wonder things are so screwed up in the world. Thank God Obama gave his speech today and announced he was going to say in public what is being said behind closed doors. I'm hopeful today.

[digital]

Telling the truth frees your mind and your soul.

Living an honest life, being truthful, and being kind are things you can do right now that will turn around your life. Soon you will see that others will respond to you with that same honesty and kindness.

Truth and facts are universal, and once they are learned, nobody can take them away from you.

Thank you for the article :)

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

So true, so true, dearest digital!

Case in point: Obama's speech in Cairo today. Here's a quote:

I am convinced that in order to move forward, we must say openly the things we hold in our hearts, and that too often are said only behind closed doors. There must be a sustained effort to listen to each other; to learn from each other; to respect one another; and to seek common ground. As the Holy Koran tells us, "Be conscious of God and speak always the truth." That is what I will try to do - to speak the truth as best I can, humbled by the task before us, and firm in my belief that the interests we share as human beings are far more powerful than the forces that drive us apart.

Yours in truth,
Judith

We are being shown the power of speaking the truth, especially where and when it isn't easy. This is the point of my article. We have to make our way beyond telling the convenient truth to telling the inconvenient one. Wish I'd coined that phrase, but it's appropriate to use here.

[digital]

"The ideals which have always shone before me and filled me with the joy of living are goodness, beauty, and truth."

— Albert Einstein.

[Norge]

Your school of truth is a wonderful place as apposed to this school of lies which has caused such terrible suffering. http://www.soaw.org.

I post this as an example to the healing powers of truth and the terrible consequences living lies have.

Rolf Krogsæther

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you for posting this, Norge. Obviously, we have a long way to go, don't we?

We all pay when the Truth is subverted. Look at what the last 8 years have cost us. Obama is over in the Middle East, trying to dig us out. Now here's a warrior! I have hope. It may be dim, but the light of Truth still flickers.

I appreciate you coming by, Norge. Have you visited my new blog and web site? Rx For the Soul at www.judithrich.com. Come by and pay a visit!

Blessings,
Judith

[Norge]

Dr. Judith Rich,

Yes the vastness between here http://www.judithrich.com and http://soaw.org
goes without saying.

I wondered by another pond as a child in the wilderness
until I found my way through the dark wood
virgil was along the path, the narrow path
with dante just ahead

dante seemed in a rush
to go somewhere
while virgil, slow he was
remained behind
pondering in his pergatory

I found my way out of the wilderness
and saw the cities, the millions and millions
who have never been to waldon's pond
have no interest, have no motivation
yet the millions and millions
who care, love and dare

I walked among this
where many were holding hands
each fiddling a rhymic tune
in the later part of a sunday afternoon

and each walked in cadence
to the colors of their clothes.

it was a carnival scene, the market place
where all very slowly was shifting full with sand.

I found my way back to the pond in the wilderness.

Rolf Krogsæther

[antaeus]

Thank you for this! When I was an undergrad, I was deeply affected by Sissela Bok's ethics-based examination of this topic in her book "Lying." It interested me to see that one needn't make recourse to spirituality or religion in order to come to the conclusion that lying is wrong.

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear antaeus,

Exactly! Let's take it another step further. Let's remove the word, "wrong" and just say that lying doesn't work. It's ineffective. It's a bad strategy if for no other reason than the cost of lying is so very high, if we really knew in the beginning what it was going to cost in the end, we never would go down that road.

The problem is, we've got that all twisted in our minds, because we see examples of people who appear to get away with lying. And we think "how come the good guys always lose and the bad guys always win?"

Well, take a look. Did Bernie Madeoff win? The truth may take a little longer to be revealed, but in the end, the price for lying will be paid. It may be on the very last breath. Does the phrase "death bed confession" ring a bell?

Thanks for weighing in here. I appreciate your comment.

Best to you,
Judith

[athenasword]

What a great topic, Judith! I closed a chapter of my life today - saying goodbye to a spiritual family of 10 years. I had come to see that withholding the truth, manipulating others, secrets and maintaining control were the name of the game... And, hard as it was to walk away from what was familiar, I left today, for good.

One of the toughest lessons these last months, was seeing that my mentor was not honorable and not truthful. It was difficult to speak with truth about this. But, I did, and I did it - I think- with a fair amount of grace.

I am already moving forward and have found places and people who are a better fit. It is healthier, creative, open and alive! Thanks Judith, for your wonderful insights along the way!

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Well, congratulations athenasword!

This is been in the making for a very long time, hasn't it? I think you mentioned this on your very first comment here, some months ago.

My dear, know that in your leaving, you've only left what no longer served you. In the leaving, you open the door for authentic community based on what you truly value and hold dear. You gave yourself a gift today. You took back your life. Your took back your Self.

Now go live it and honor those hard lessons you learned along the way. By the way, what did you learn about yourself from having stayed in this environment for 10 years? Not like what's wrong, but what new possibilities opened for you out of seeing that it no longer served and finally having the courage to say goodbye? And what do you think kept you there? What gave you the courage to leave?

I'm posting this entry on my own site tomorrow. Perhaps you can come there and we can continue this conversation. Or here. Or both :-)

Many blessings on your new path,
Judith

[athenasword]

What kept me there was a love of the work we did together, loyalty to my teacher and a role I'd fully stepped into as a mentor for new students.

What changed? Well, it was gradual, but there was a realization that things were said in private and that different things were said in public. When I saw confirmation of untruths my teacher allowed (or created), I first had to remove the pedestal and begin to interact as if this were a student of mine - in other words, not tolerate it and address it (with compassion).

There is a bit more to it, that I'll share later. Some of my lessons: A culture of secrets cannot offer a foundation for anything. Listen with keen ears - even people you think are "enlightened" can lie. And, my own truth may not be the only story, but I have to trust my instincts and intuition absolutely.

[athenasword]

As for what has opened up out of being part of this for so many years... I have stepped into my power, claimed my feminine gifts of intuition, second sight and creative expression. I have fully owned my leadership skills. I recieved wisdom and a great deal of learning in one of my chosen fields. And, best - I made fantastic partnerships with other strong, creative women.

[Jonahson]

What if the truth hurt others?
During the time of the Buddha, a monk stayed in the house of a goldsmith. This particular fellow was also the Royal goldsmith. One day someone gave the king a large gem and the King asked the goldsmith to mount it onto a crown. Leaving the gem in his workshop in the presence of the monk the goldsmith when out to do an errant. Now at that time a goose came into the house and was attracted to the large gem. It quickly swallowed it. There was nothing the monk could do as it happened very fast. Just then the goldsmith returned and seeing the gem was gone he begin to accuse the monk of stealing it since he was the only one present. Of course he denied taking it but when asked who had stolen the gem he remained silence. Together with some of his family members the goldsmith beat up the monk badly but still he remained silence. Just then the goose that swallowed the gem died due to the large gem in its throat. Only then did the monk revealed the goose had swalled it . So the gem was recovered but the Buddha forbade monks to reside in people's resident.

[athenasword]

This is a great question. I guess it comes down to speaking truth with compassion. And, having a good sense of timing. Taking care about when to say something is a real skill.... patience is required!

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Johahson,

Thanks for sharing this story. However, I fail to see how the "truth" hurt anyone in this story. Not telling the truth is what created the problem.

It's our relationship with the truth that I'm getting at here. We have it twisted. There is an assumption that telling the truth will hurt someone. Does that mean withholding the truth does not? Ask yourself: if a friend of yours knew something (not gossip, but fact) that might cause you pain to know, would you want to know or be kept in the dark?

What does it say about how we hold each other if we think another person isn't capable of hearing a truth? Isn't that quite arrogant? To think someone cannot handle hearing something painful? And how does anyone know what causes pain for another? They might be relieved to finally know about whatever it was that just didn't quite seem to fit but they could never put their finger on.

We could go into all kinds of "what if" scenarios here, but the bottom line is, the truth, told with love and compassion trumps dishonesty, or half-truths every time. Test it out. Just try being lying and see how well that works. See how open and intimate your relationships are. I think not.

I'm open to being convinced otherwise, but so far, no one has presented any good arguments on behalf of dishonesty.

And THAT'S the truth!
Judith

[Jonahson]

If the monk had told the truth earlier then the goose would have been killed. The monk did not lie but so as not to harm the goose as he has taken the percept of not killing he chose to remain silence. This story is not about half truth . I think athenasword caught the essence of the story.

Here is a gift to you Ms Judith.
True Wisdom comes from a true heart. Our mind cannot see itself only through our heart that we can see the reflection our mind. When we do something wrong our heart always tell us so. If we ignore those nibbling conscience and override them then slowly but surely we move away from the right path. The ego grows and soon a person become sleazy, deceitful and willing to scarify others in order to protect themselves. A person lies so much that he need to put on a mask because he knows he is ugly inside. People who put on a mask is actually trying to hide their inside ugliness from others.

[Blackberry826]

Honesty
Honesty
It's such a waste of energy
No you don't have to lie to me
Just give me some tenderness
--Paul Simon

[Diogenis]

"Honesty".­..is such a lonely word. Billy Joel

[Dr. Cara Barker - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Judith,

For me, the entire experience can pretty much be summed up with that old statement: "The Truth shall set you free." What's been ironic, for me, however, is that to liberate my own Truth, it takes a great, great deal of listening, with what I call my 'Listening Heart.' It is in the silence, in the deep stillness, that the deeper Truth arrives. (I capitalize it because this Truth is distinct from what is comfortable for the Monkey MInd of ego. That little guy has all sorts of opinions and judgements, and skewed factoids it loves to pawn off as 'Truth.' It is not the same.) Now, here's the rub, as Willie Shakespeare put it. Once I get a Truth shipment, it is very, very difficult to translate into words. Here's why I am such a fan of the arts. They are a hop, skip and jump away from the Center, from whence Truth, speaks in the Silence. Yet, they are not caught up in the frenzy of chit-chat which is all about outer impressions, aka image management.

My favorite 'tell the truth' experience is enjoying the moment with those dearest to my heart. Often the Truth speaks in the rest notes, here.

One thing is for certain. The political 'blame game,' is anything but the Truth.

Love to you all,
Cara

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Hello dearest Cara,

Oh, how you speak it! The truth, of course! Thank you for pointing out the portal to truth being in the stillness and the silence, freed from the chatter of the mind. Or in the arts, in painting, and I consider writing to be one of the arts, where the mind steps aside and the sweet, small voice of the Soul whispers truth, so feint, sometimes we can barely hear it.

The truth can only be found in the present moment, even if it points towards long ago, we discover it only in the Now.

Our quest for what's true always leads back home, right here at the well of wisdom inside our hearts. Thank you so much for being a constant guardian of that truth and for speaking it so eloquently.

Love and blessings to you,
Judith

[Eli Davidson - Huffpost Blogger]

Hot Damn!

Girl you are the Truth Bomb!!! As always you share such a depth of wisdom in your post. I agree with James, you give us a seminar on every topic you touch.

"Our job is to be guardians of the truth that is aligned with the values on which we seek to build the future. We must settle for nothing less than the truth that serves the highest good for all, not just for a few."

Now, those are words to live by!
Love,
Eli Davidson

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Truth Bomb! I like it! Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

Obama is the Truth Bomb today! Did you read the speech he gave in Cairo? I think he might just have read my post this morning on Air Force One while traveling to the Middle East.

Truth always works. It's all in the delivery.

Love,
Judith

[DiogenesOfAlaska]

Very powerful. You're not taking any prisoners with your columns.

'Thou shalt not lie' - how did we get that idea? Because it works.

Since we need to know the truth, we need to also speak it, otherwise it won't be long until we no longer even know it - although we may not notice that we have ceased to know it. That's how we indeed 'depend upon these people to give us our sense of self worth, affirm our identity and justify our existence'.

We are nothing without our common background and cultural inheritance, and that's why we can't afford to spoil it. If we make ourselves believe that 'we're on our own' then we're already telling the first lie. Some of us may wish to charm themselves into believing such independence, but everything from language to memory, even money and finance, proves them wrong.

It's getting real dirty - in fact we are touching the realm of evil - when we start to force each other into faking the facts so that unseen power may continue its workings. And when telling the truth is barred because it will be twisted and used, we learn to understand the value of truth again. Although on a most sickening path.

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Diogenes,

When we speak the truth, we never take any prisoners, for the truth sets us free. The only prisoner taken is ourselves, locked inside the lies we've come to believe as the truth.

I'm afraid we're already far down that "sickening path" as a society. Look back over just our recent history, for starters, and we'll see the trail of deadly lies told, in the name of "securing America's future".

Let us pray, then act, to insure the truth prevails in this new administration. If it's more of the same, we truly will be too lost to ever find our country's soul again. This, I believe, is the Hope we voted for. Let's just Hope it's the Hope we can believe in.

Telling the truth begins with each one of us, demanding it of ourselves. There is a way to tell the truth with love and compassion. It's not about using a blow torch. People mistake truth telling with inflicting pain. It doesn't have to be served on the edge of a sword. Truth telling is much simpler than we make it.

Thanks for your thoughts and input, Diog. I love to see you here.

Blessings
Judith

[DiogenesOfAlaska]

You are so right, as always. Just because we're using words instead of WMDs doesn't mean we're peaceful or at peace. If we use then like a blow torch, it can indeed inflict pain.

But there are several sides to this. And actually it is very similar (VERY) to the difficulties of WMDs and their balance of power. To cut through the thick of defenses of people 'distanced from their own truth' (as you say below, in response to klbrz) may sometimes seem to require heavy cannonry and hence induce the use of similar, even heavier defenses. Bad feedback loop.

Hence the way you call for and describe is the only one - a recommendation that's not always easy to keep in mind for those tempted to apply the blow torch, such as myself.

It's clearly impossible to show others their own truth. But I think it helps to get the tools out there, so that everybody can bust their own Ego properly when the time is right.

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Diog,

I am hopeful. Obama walked into the lion's den today and gave a very "candid" speech in Cairo about the future of US-Muslim relations. See the HuffPo article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/03/obama-finishes-new-beginn_n_211070.html.

He is modeling what we must do. Tell the truth, put down the swords, extend our hands in peace. Peace is possible if we reach across the lines of hatred. Hatred is driven by fear. Give them nothing to fear.

I am encouraged by this. May our president continue to act from what serves to bring peace to the world, not just power to America. This would dramatically change the world we live in.

Blessings,
Judith

[Anne Naylor - Huffpost Blogger]

Dearest Judith,

Your post is brilliantly bold and forthright - I love it, thank you! What makes being "truthful" real to me is that the truth embraces loving. We can communicate anything in loving. When what we say is for others, then truth serves. Hearts connect through the truth. We know it.

The issue I have with the political system (as in England) is that a politician do anything to get a vote, including embellishing the truth. The game seems to be set up that way. It is a rare individual that can stand on his or her truth to win "votes", which are in a sense our "approval". And we entrust those to act in government. One day, I would like to see our political systems overhauled, but have no idea how.

Recently, I have become better at honouring my truth - but I may yet have plenty to learn!

Truly excellent post, Oh Soul Sister!

With love and blessings,
Anne

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Dearest Anne,

You're so on the money, yet we have so little experience trusting that the truth could be served through love and compassion, we're conditioned to fear it.

The truth IS bold, yet gentle. Given our conditioning, telling it seems to require that we marry ourselves to courage and brace ourselves for confrontation, yet I believe the truth told with love confronts only the barriers we've set up for ourselves.

How much more gentle to be aligned with the truth, and to be counted on to speak it with love. For the ultimate truth IS love.

Thanks for your wonderful contribution to this discussion!

Much love dear sistah,
Judith

[LMPE]

Just last month I returned from four months in Moscow. Among other things, I saw a Russian version of Pinocchio. Now there was a wacky movie!

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

I also thought it a bit of a wacky photo to use for this post!

[Kari Henley - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Judith!
Great post, and you are really on a powerful track of your life's work here. It is great to have you taking a stand for the soul, and reminding us all of the hard lessons.

I hate confrontation, and often recognize how I will automatically bend a story around or "spin" it to avoid difficult feelings. It is not something that sits well in the long run.
I also find how my kids get sucked into the "little white lies" syndrome..­.. "Who broke the glass?" Not me and blank stares from their innocent faces.
When I ask them how they FEEL when they don't tell the truth, they seem remarkably agile in accessing their emotions- more so than adults do.
Keep up the amazing work chica!
Kari

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Hello there Kari,

It's so interesting to note that for many people, telling the truth = confrontation. Why do you suppose that is? What actually is being confronted? I think this fear has nothing to do with the "other" involved and has everything to do with the ego being busted.

Maybe you could teach your kids to play "Bust the Ego". You're masterful at this. Give them some structure, just enough for them to get the idea there's this "thing" called the Ego that's like a monkey or a pig. (use something they can relate to) that likes to think its in control of everything, including them. Teach them how to "bust" themselves when their ego gets the best of them.

Kids are fast learners, as you know so well. They'll get the hang of this quickly. But here's the tricky part, be prepared for them to start busting YOU when you compromise your self. Knowing you,
you'll take this game to new heights, write a book about it, teach a seminar, go on national TV and become famous! Just remember who gave you the idea! :-)

Much love sistah,
Judith

[Arithrianos]

The impeccable truth is all egoic strategies are hopeless, but like the most valuable truths, it cannot be told, it can only be experienced. Since what we long for the most, which is deep connection and love, is already who we are underneath our masks and strategies and "egos" really saying anything at all can be a lie, since the truth is a direct experience. That being said i agree that speaking against your own experience is harmful, since path depends upon working directly with what IS, all lies do is put another layer down covering the "soul" or Buddha nature. The truth of who we are is so big that if you still have delusions of "control" then it gets to be too much, lies help keep ego in "control"

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Well said, Arithrianos. Although I depart with you on the "lies help keep ego in control" part. Add the word "illusion" to control and we're on the same page. Lying gives the ego the ilusion of control, but in fact, the ego is totally out of control, controlled by its obsession with maintaining control. Make sense?

The ultimate truth is who we ARE, which is why living out of alignment with it is so costly to the human part of being.

I blog about this on my Rx For the Soul site today. Come on over...... www.judithrich.com.

Blessings!
Judith

[Arithrianos]

Just about any time i use open and close quotes, that is my short hand for relative nature and therefore illusion. There is no control ever for EGO, ego has control only within the space created by enlightened being, only when it is in its "place", after it has abandoned "control". This is what EGO death is all about, it still leaves ego, and the master of ego. At least my understanding.
i am blogging mainly on intent.com nowadays, it is such a supportive community, and is more focused than this sight. Will stop by you blog though, hope i get through moderation this time.

[klbrz]

Making an effort to always tell the truth is a worthwhile endeavor for the most part. And, you're right that most of us do not live life with the honesty and integrity required to move consciousness forward. However:

I have family members (you can choose your friends...­) who most certainly hold a grudge for days, years, depending on the offense. I'm not worried about hurting their feelings, I'm avoiding being followed around and constantly attacked for my truth, by someone who is not interested in intelligent discussion, just argument.

Yes, it is painful to tell someone a truth that hurts them, so why are you telling them? Does it do any good to tell them? Will they be able to change anything to make things better? Did they ask for this truth or are you needing to purge for integrity's sake?

I agree with your idea in theory, but I wonder how to practically implement this. The higher purpose is a noble cause, but on a day to day level, I think you need to choose your battles. If you just go around truthing people to death (as one person in my family does), you may keep your integrity intact, but you lose the ability to participate in future solutions. When speaking the truth of every tiny thing is as important as every big thing, you wear people out and they no longer want to hear what you have to say.

[Dr. Judith Rich - Huffpost Blogger]

Dear Klbrz,

Ah, yes, well now, please just notice how you've framed truth telling. Like going to war. Perhaps that's how you see it, given your family experience. I'm sure many people see it that way. Why else would one have to "pick their battles"?

You might want to look at how to tell the truth, not from confrontation, but from love. Most of the time, the truth never has anything to do with what we think it does. Even though it may seem like it's about another person, it rarely is. It's almost always about ourselves. Looking from this perspective, can you figure out a way to BE WITH your family member so their hunger for connection is met?

I suspect what they really want is intimacy, a feeling of real connection. But they're probably so distanced from their own truth, they're not aware this is what they seek. So they bombard you with made up stuff and who wouldn't want to run away from that?

What if you addressed this deeper need? What if you sat with them and truly connected? See what happens. And let me know. Now you have my curiosity up!

My you tell the truth today with love
Judith

[klbrz]

Hi Judith, I do try telling the truth from love, but it's not always well received. I am deferential and qualify most every statement I make so as not to sound confrontational, and frequently hand authority over to others - "I was just reading about this subject by this person and that person and they say ....."

My husband and I have a standing disagreement about how long big changes should take. He thinks it takes way too long. I'm surprised it doesn't take longer.

There are those in my family and millions more like them who believe so strongly in their old ways that they will never change their minds on big issues like the environment, gay marriage or equality. Practically speaking, sometimes change has to wait for the ones who refuse to change to go away. I see no hope in any of us changing the minds of the Limbaughs of the world. They are so attached to their worldview, change for them would be an undoing of self. The best we can hope for is that they lose influence until they retire quietly.

So, I try to just enjoy time with those in my family who don't like my truths and not get too near the difficult subjects, because we do love each other and enjoy spending time together. For me, the act of coexistence is also important and maybe sort of a subliminal truth telling. Hopefully.

Thanks for your comments and trying to get us there.