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Dr. Logan Levkoff

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Chris Jones' Esquire Article: What He Got Wrong

Posted: 03/30/2012 2:30 pm

Have you read: "Ladies: You're Not as Good as You Think," an Esquire feature by Chris Jones? If you have, you're probably writing letters of scorn and disgust to the magazine right now; if you haven't, you will be shortly.

What starts off as a self-deprecating article about his less than stellar sexual prowess quickly turns into an attack on his "unenthusiastic, uncomfortable and uncommunicative" sexual partners.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I have certainly called out men for some of the things they do in snarky and sarcastic ways. However, I have never suggested that women are not equally responsible for the issues in their relationships. A stand up person (of any gender) holds him or herself accountable, too. While Jones attempts to do that, it is a highly offensive and unsuccessful endeavor.

It is comical that Jones believes that "most women act as though they are sexual Olympians." Women -- wouldn't it be nice to feel such sexual bravado and confidence? Wouldn't it be nice to feel like we were free to spread our legs for whomever we want, whenever we want and not give a crap about scorn from others? Wouldn't it be nice to just brush off the awful and demeaning messages that we've been taught since we were born with a particular body part?

You know what? I wish more women thought of themselves as "Sexual Olympians." But how can they when in the same piece, Jones writes: "Just relax. Yes we make stupid jokes, but contrary to popular belief, most guys enjoy cunnilingus, and most vaginas don't smell like a fresh bag of Funyons." The fact that the onion-based snack food analogy is even mentioned ensures that we will clamp our legs down on your neck when you attempt to go down on us. You want us to lay back and enjoy it?

But I'll give Jones one thing: if you do have partners don't live up to their Sexual Olympian act, consider why. Have you ever though that the prevalence of and reliance on pornography may have something to do with it? Or maybe it has to do with all the magazine covers and swimsuit issues that you masturbate to when we're not around (or asleep). There are many women who think that in order to get your attention they need to act in overtly sexual and provocative ways, even if they feel completely uncomfortable doing so. On the subject of personal accountability, it would be nice for Jones to acknowledge his role in that. And seeing as he used the word "frigid" in his piece, it's clear that he would think less of us if we were self-conscious or insecure about our bodies. We're damned if we do, damned if we don't.

Want to be a man that we're enthusiastic about having sex with? Be sincere about our pleasure and our health. Stand up publicly and challenge the political war on our sexuality, on contraception and pleasure-based nonprocreational sex. Be the type of man who doesn't judge a woman for not understanding why rear-entry sex and anal sex are not synonymous. Try to recognize that her sexual education was probably different from yours; you learned about your penis. She didn't learn about her clitoris or vulva or any external parts. But no, Jones says that women who "don't know their vaginas from their anuses" are "freaks" and "frigid."

Thankfully, Chris Jones does not represent most men. If I identified as a male I would be furious that he was attempting to speak for me.

So to close with one of Jones' own quotes: "Sex is not like pizza. Only blowjobs are." Looks like Jones will have to stick with lots of pizza until this blows over.

 
 
 

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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
scottsdalebubbe
Progressive Micro-Capitalist Grandmother
01:07 AM on 04/06/2012
Everyone chill out and to to global.hai.org. HAI Global is the Human Awareness Institute which sponsors a series of workshops called, Love, Intimacy, and Sexuality. "The Human Awareness Institute (HAI) empowers individuals to be potent, loving, contributing human beings. HAI promotes personal growth and social evolution by replacing ignorance and fear with awareness and love. HAI aims to create a world where people live together in dignity, respect, understanding, trust, kindness, compassion, reverence, honesty and love. HAI is committed to creating a world where everyone wins."
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
scottsdalebubbe
Progressive Micro-Capitalist Grandmother
12:50 AM on 04/06/2012
A number of commenters have said men have unrealistic expectations because they watch porn and women don't know what to do because they don't watch porn. In my experience -- as a woman who has watched porn, the men are very active and, except for giving b-jobs, the women aren't. They mostly pose and groan and squeal and their mascara never runs and their lipstick never wears off. Also -- try this some time -- count the ratio of male c*m shots to women's O-shots. It's hilarious (and mystifying for sexually experienced women) -- I'd say 20 male:3 female over several videos. Now it is generally known that multiple O's are generally a woman thing and that most men need an interval before they can go again -- as much as 12 hours. I think that women do watch porn and, if they take it as "the way it is done", they are either intimidated by the female porn stars' bodies, totally unaware that men can't keep going like male porn stars, or imitate the lay there and groan method.

Tantra that teaches men and women to be fabulous, attentive sexual partners, with an attitude of honoring each other including bathing together, massaging each other, eating something light and yummy together, breathing slowly in rhythm with each other, looking into each other's eyes, etc. It really helps both partners to "get their romance and their libido on". Sounds like both Chris Jones and his partners could use some education and
10:27 PM on 04/04/2012
And you're not funny either.
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Cuyahoga
I asked Hank Williams, how lonely does it get ....
03:05 AM on 04/04/2012
I just now read the article. WHAT DID I MISS?

Four paragraphs. He is self deprecating, admitting some of his lovers have asked him to just get it over with. (Props to those women for voicing what I only ever THOUGHT and never said.)

I found it almost ... funny. I'm a 60 yr old woman, a lifelong feminist, and I no longer much like men.

But I found his article FUNNY! We women say far more offensive things about men-and-sex after just a few drinks.

Was there more than the 4 paragraphs? If so please share the link and I'll read the full article and report back.

Until then I think this has been blown (ahem) way out of proportion.
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jf12
Esta vez saldré como las otras y me escaparé.
12:18 PM on 04/04/2012
It's because so many women were dismayed that their thinking was exposed.
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04:11 AM on 04/05/2012
You can always tell who the confident guys are from the bitter ones. Not hard at all.
10:46 PM on 04/04/2012
Oh, boy, I'm a 47-year old woman, a lifelong feminist, and I no longer much like men. Twinsies???!!!
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jf12
Esta vez saldré como las otras y me escaparé.
09:11 AM on 04/05/2012
IOW part of the majority herd.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Sociologyst
04:11 PM on 04/03/2012
Typical. A man who is no good in bed blaming women for his downfalls. This story writes it self over and over again. His partners must be angels for putting up with his bad sexual "skills".
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
06:37 PM on 04/03/2012
So, when women blame men for their "downfalls" in bed...?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Sociologyst
12:44 PM on 04/04/2012
When a woman blames men and write about it in a national magazine for millions to read... I will ABSOLUTELY say the same thing about her.

I should've wrote: Typical. a PERSON who is not good in bed blaming others for their downfalls.
03:55 PM on 04/03/2012
I'm not sure about pizza, but I do like my share of pie..
02:58 PM on 04/03/2012
"Stand up publicly and challenge the political war on our sexuality, on contraception and pleasure-based nonprocreational sex"

Where is the war taking place on these things? Fighting mandatory birth control coverage without a deductible for EVERYONE certainly isn't those things. When my daughter is older and looking for a husband where should believes the government should require that women get free birth control in their health insurance be on the list of traits she is looking for? Who does that kind of policy even really benefit? Would seem to be the kind of loser I wouldn't want her bringing home to begin with. Which gets us to Mr. Jones.

I found Jones's article reflective of the thoughts of someone who supports the above policies. Women should all be on birth control in his mind. He sees women as sex objects whose bodies serve the purpose of pleasing and being pleased by a male. He seems to see people as their parts and not as the persons. All of which seems very unsexy.
08:18 AM on 04/04/2012
"Who does that kind of policy even really benefit"

Is this a real question? Obviously it benefits society as a whole. Let's be honest, the reason the rate of unwanted pregnancies is so high, isnt because of women, its because men wont wear condoms. The failure rate of hormonal birth control is very low as is the rate of pregnancy resulting from rape/incest. If more men wore condoms, and wore them correctly, unwanted pregnancies would decrease as would abortion. It's a simple fact. Men have to want to help solve the problem through action.
02:52 PM on 04/03/2012
That may be true but, the worst sex I ever had was FANTASTIC!
02:25 PM on 04/03/2012
This is truly sad. I did not read the article to which she refers before reading her article, but it just strikes me as typical that she is more than ready to pick up the gauntlet and start firing back snide remarks and epithets rather than recognizing a pathetic "cry for help" from a man. Men have a weakness that women do not. We are so goverend by biology and culture that we seek and accept sexual partners many times without question. What we need is not scorn but advice.

A good man wants to please the woman of his dreams. Unfortunately the woman of his dreams is seeking companionship and security but rationing out that which only they should provide.And, can provide. It is not a weakness, it is a strength.

In a great Harrsion Ford movie (Six Das and Seven Nights ) he and Anne Heche are comparin notes about how women and men deal with each other. Ford notes some of the things he thinks women seek and she asks him want women need to do to get a man . The answer ? "Just show up "
More true than it should be.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
baydolphins
Gone crazy...back soon
01:31 PM on 04/03/2012
we're not bad at sex, we're bad at having to explain the procedure to men again and again and agin and infinitum. We're not bad, we just have lousy parnters.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
06:38 PM on 04/03/2012
Safe to say his point that women should take some (ANY) responsibility for themselves...lost on you.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
baydolphins
Gone crazy...back soon
10:41 AM on 04/04/2012
spoken by somebody calling themselves MissTake
01:20 PM on 04/03/2012
Seismic sex is actually just ordinary sex that FEELS like an earthquake because you've succeeded in touching a live wire of the soul as well as fleshy parts.
01:14 PM on 04/03/2012
Esquire: You're Not As Good As You Think

Wow, is that what passes for a provocative piece in Esquire these days? It's like half of a tiny crustless white-bread tea sandwich where someone forgot the deviled chicken. There's an ocean to be probed in the topic of sexual disconnectedness, but Jones barely gets us close enough to smell the salt air. I've sometimes suspected the Y'ers and Z'ers are clueless about sex and especially about the thing that really embarrasses them: emotionally connected sex. Too often they strike me as gymnasts and figure skaters hitting all the required elements, avoiding deductions -- and thinking they're the soul of dance. Jones' piece does nothing to allay the pity.

Alas, Harold Hayes. Even the greatest empires must crumble in the end.
01:02 PM on 04/03/2012
Chris Jones doesn't have a clue. It's always easier to just point the finger at others than to take an honest look at ourselves.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MissTake1989
Equal means equal, hypocrites.
06:38 PM on 04/03/2012
You know that was his point, right?
12:58 PM on 04/03/2012
I am not saying that Chris is wrong he is absolutely right no one, male or female wants an unresponsive partner. The truth is though if your partner is unresponsive then there was no attraction, no turn on point and they are just going through the motions. Both women and men can do some good by actually paying attention to your partners reactions both good and bad and not just try to keep going. If you really care about your own pleasure and theirs then it’s as simple as looking at your lovers face you can always tell deception no matter your gender and if you can’t your just plain selfish. As for Chris maybe he should stop and think about his choice of words if he uses that mouth outside of the bedroom it definitely will not get him any pleasure inside of it. And the author of this article does sound a little extra mad. The truth is the act of sex, intimacy, passion is tough on both men and women there are always partners that are quick to judge but if you feel comfortable with yourself and your partner then these are things you should be able to overcome. And yes I am a woman and I love sex!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
eskeeemo
True patriotism isn't selfish
12:55 PM on 04/03/2012
Women aren't that hard to please in bed, really. We like sex, but not the pressure to perform like porn stars or to look like something we are not - stressing about that stuff is NOT a turn-on. Sex should be fun and should be shared with a person who is enthusiastic about getting to share it with the partner they are with!! It shouldn't be a chore. This writier is a moron who probably has been rejected by tons of women who he cannot fool with his BS. Bad sex has nothing to do with the women - it's all this dude's problem. He should just let go and allow a REAL woman teach HIM how to enjoy sex. He should be taking lessons not giving them.
04:55 PM on 04/03/2012
I think his simply the existence of a double standard. And whether it is his job to please her at all. He is complaining about all the women whose idea of spread their legs lie back and "hope he's good." Its about the initiative always being forced on male as a gender role.
08:22 AM on 04/04/2012
What that OP is talking about though is that the writer just continued to have sex with those dead fish of a woman because he simply wanted to reach his own sexual satisfaction. I do agree that women are not taught free expression of their bodies as men are, so is it any wonder some women think this way? Also, some men think that when impotency occurs the woman is to blame, it happens all the time, unfortunately that is something physical and/or psychological that has nothing to do with his partner. Being dry is similar, it's something that is about her, that she needs to address and not so much about him. However, not getting aroused during sex with someone youve just met, is more likely due to the fact that you dont know that person! lol I think if men put less focus on their peen as the bringer of all sexual pleasure they would find women a lot more enjoyable in bed. Most women simply do not orgasm from penetration and women, like men, want to have orgasms when they have sex.