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Vibrator Shopping: How To Buy A Sex Toy

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So the moment has come: You want to buy a sex toy.

What do you look for in a vibrator or toy? What's good? What's safe? What will your partner like? What will he or she hate? Perhaps I can be of some help.

Incorporating "toys" into your sex life is a healthy and very common experience for many couples. Got that? It's not just about masturbation. If you don't believe me, the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University studied vibrator usage among Americans: 80% of women (users) have used a vibrator with a partner (2009). When I was writing How to Get Your Wife to Have Sex with You, I wanted men and women to understand that shopping for sexual products wasn't just about one person's needs; both partners can -- and should be involved. Whether you are looking for vibrators or lubes, sleeves, cuffs, or rings, shopping can be a exciting experience -- no matter what you're looking for. You just have to know the right questions to ask.

But first, may I digress for a moment? I really don't love the term "sex toys." I prefer to call them sexual enhancements, sex accessories, or as the boutique Kiki de Montparnasse calls them, "instruments of pleasure." For some reason, "sex toys" has always given me the impression that these products are novelties and should be carried home in brown paper bags from the seedy shop that everyone knows about but no one admits to shopping at. Besides, today vibrators (including those from Trojan) are sold in mass food and drugstores. Right there on the shelves next to the condoms and lubes. They are definitely mainstream. But I know that some of you like to wordsmith and think that perhaps I'm being picky. So be it. I just feel like some people (many people) rely on these products in order to achieve orgasm. That means that they are definitely not toys or novelties; they are necessities. Just saying.

Now that I've voiced that, when you (and/or your partner) decide to take a trip to your local erotica shop (or browse online) think about what is it you are looking for. Are the two of you looking for the same thing? Is this for one particular sex act or is it for a variety of experiences? Or just consider the following:

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