Every once in a while we need to take a good look at our life to try and evaluate how psychologically functional and fit we feel. Not because we're bombarded by thousands of 'self-hell' messages about how we should look and feel, but because we have a deeper understanding of who we are and where we would like to be.
Of course most of us avoid this assessment for fear of what we might uncover, an inability to change or just because we are so set in our ways that we don't know how to carve out a new road map. There are those who are exactly where they want to be and shouldn't be negatively influenced by societal pressures to be something they are not. Instead these mindfull folks should celebrate their power to steer their lives in the direction that suits their passion and purpose in life.
When necessary, change isn't easy and it's just natural to try and initially resist it. What's interesting is that it's not change that's difficult to confront; it's the process of transformation that can be challenging. What's the difference? Well, change is the actual event while transformation is the emotional, intellectual and physical, tension-filled unfamiliar journey that we have to embark on.
If reading this article invites you to think about the areas of your life that you want to modify, the good news is that you are half way there -- congratulations. Others might feel uncomfortable with even thinking about having to acknowledge the more wounded or challenging aspects of their life, which in the long run, prevents you from living more holistically.
Regardless of where you fall on this transformative spectrum, it's important to remind yourself to regularly engage in psychological life audits. By doing this, you can better understand your physical and emotional needs in order to prevent illnesses rather than having to worry about ways of later curing the tribulations of modern living.
These steps below can be used as a starting point to consider aspects of your life which might need to be fine-tuned as well as some suggestions as possible solutions to those feeling stuck and stagnant:
1. Remain aligned with the truth. The further you stray, the more confused and complicated life will seem.
2. Happiness is not always an adjective nor is it a constant state so you need not ask yourself whether you are a 'happy person' or not. Instead acknowledge and welcome happy moments.
3. Focus on the 'Law of ACTION' not just the 'Law of Attraction.'
4. Don't let the past define you but do remain mindful of the defining moments that have shaped your life.
5. If thinking about something/someone hurts, it's probably because it requires your attention. Repressing it just to temporarily stop the pain is not going to make it go away.
6. Look for FIXES not FAULTS.
7. Think about all those people who have contributed positively to your life. Now compare the way in which you've shown your appreciation. Remember it is never too late to do so.
8. If you have a physical or emotional pain of some kind, even if its not constant and just comes and goes, seek the help of a medical professional to try and sort it out once and for all. Waiting for it to disappear might just lead to a more serious ailment.
9. Make sure you have a healthy balance between guilt and resentment. Being a constant people pleaser can lead to disappointment and anger. At the same time always gauge your own expectations from others.
10. Don't just talk about all those things you would love to do - do them. What's stopping you?
11. See the best in others and appreciate them instead of clawing away at their flaws just to feed your own insecurity.
12. Rest. More important than any other activity today, we need to rest since our well-being is dependent on the restoration that takes place while we chillax.
13. Avoid feeling fragmented. Think about ways in which you are stretching yourself too far, sometimes even breaking into different pieces. Try and regroup so you feel healthy and whole.
14. Burn bridges where necessary. Staying in touch or trying to constantly resurrect a dead relationship may do more harm than good.
15. Learn from your past mistakes and try to eliminate repeating the same negative patterns.
16. Assess the amount of time you spend on the Internet. Turn some of that virtual interaction into real interaction instead.
17. Try and take some time off from work. You could either take a vacation or a 'staycation' meaning those who vacation at home either by choice or due to financial restraints.
18. Celebrate your achievements (big & small) regularly - never down play them or underestimate yourself.
19. Next time you're going through a frustrating or difficult situation, fast forward in time, see the humor in it and imagine yourself explaining the predicament to a group of your friends who are laughing along with you.
20. Show resilience and grit through persistently working towards your goals, regardless of obstacles in the way.
Open your world to the idea of change, if needed, and the journey towards transformation shall begin. Please comment on which of these points resonated most with you - would love to hear your thoughts!
Remember, learning more results in living more...over to you.
Follow Dr. Samineh I. Shaheem on Twitter: www.twitter.com/SaminehShaheem