A Funeral for Past Relationships

03/26/2015 02:44 pm ET | Updated May 26, 2015
Shutterstock / David Kay

We've all been there, engulfed in the pain of a dead relationship.

The people around us tell us to move on, but how? We feel we need closure and we tend to make the mistake of waiting to get it from someone else. It rarely happens. So instead of closure, we are left with pain, sadness, anger, confusion -- wounds that unless dealt with will become emotional scars that will later be described as "baggage."

We need a better way to heal from within than to wait for someone else to do it. Our usual way makes no sense. Sometimes it's like waiting for the one who stabbed you to also be the one to bandage you. Let's break that cycle. Let's learn a way to be the driving force behind our own healing from within.

The relationship died. How about a funeral?

There is nothing like a funeral to bring closure; to think about the good, the bad, the lessons to be learned... and to let go.

Let the death of your relationship breathe new life into this new day. Let go -- not for them, for you. Let go of it because it already let go of you. Have a funeral for your relationship.

Take the time to reflect on what you liked and what you feel you did right. Reflect on the negatives, not with resentment, but with an opportunity to learn. What lesson can you take from the experience of this relationship? What could you have done better? Take that lesson too. Use this funeral to bring closure and to take the positives from this relationship.

Then, wave goodbye, be grateful for the experience... and focus on today. Life is for the living. Love is for the living. Love yourself enough to be nourished by past relationships and allow what you've learned to help you bring out your greatest self.

Bitterness and resentment are a bottomless well. They can only be healed by the phenomenon of someone else's sorrow rising to your level of pain -- it never happens. Save yourself endless hurt.

When there is a death, there is a funeral. Take the good, acknowledge the life, then bury it and move on. Implement what you learned as you continue forward in your life.

That's powerful soul healing. It's lasting enhancement. It's healthy closure.

Have a funeral for dead relationships.