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Dr. Tarunjit Singh Butalia

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Learning From My Neighbors: A Sikh's Interfaith Journey

Posted: 06/09/11 02:40 PM ET

While growing up as a kid in northern India in the early 1980s, I fondly remember one of my best friends in high school, Sher Ali Khan. He was a devout Muslim.

While in 9th grade, Sher Ali called me over to his home for the Islamic festival of Eid. The food at the table was overflowing and beautifully decorated. But a dilemma faced me soon. All the meat on the table was halal -- a special religious technique of preparation of meat in the Islamic faith that I as a Sikh was forbidden to eat, due to the Sikh Rehat Maryada (Principles of Sikh Living). So I chose to stay a silent vegetarian that day partaking only of vegetables and sweets.

A couple of months later, he was over at our home for dinner and we had cooked meat without any religious preparation. Since the meat was not halal, Sher Ali became a vegetarian for that meal.

At that time I thought that our religions were getting in the way of our friendship. But as I reflect on it now, it seems that we were learning how to negotiate our religious differences.

In 1989, I came to the United States to pursue my Ph.D. degree at The Ohio State University. I was at least an ocean and a continent away from my parents and family.

The first question I asked myself was, "Do I even want to continue being religious?" After significant introspection, the answer became clear: yes, I wanted to be religious. But this was followed by another question: "What religious tradition should I be a part of?"

I remember approaching a local member of the Catholic clergy asking for his advice on what religious path to consider pursuing. His response surprised me. He asked me to look deeply into the faith I had grown up in and asked me to come back to him after giving my faith one more chance.

As you may have guessed by now, I never went back to that priest. But I am indebted to him for his advice. Here was someone from another religious tradition that helped me to grow in my own religious tradition. His advice on spirituality transcended the boundaries of religion.

Today, as I reflect on my friendship with my Muslim high school friend and the Catholic spiritual adviser, it is clear to me that the many diverse religions of the world are complimentary to each other and not in competition with each other. These are values upon which the Council for a Parliament of the World's Religions is built upon.

Mutual respect and understanding across religious boundaries is a fundamental need of humanity today. The interfaith and inter-religious movements are at a critical juncture. How do we expand the circle of those engaged in this work, and how do we deepen the engagement of those already involved? These are the issues that the Parliament helps to address so we can make this world a safer and more just place for our children and grandchildren.

This article was first published by the Council for a Parliament of the World's Religions.

 
While growing up as a kid in northern India in the early 1980s, I fondly remember one of my best friends in high school, Sher Ali Khan. He was a devout Muslim. While in 9th grade, Sher Ali called me ...
While growing up as a kid in northern India in the early 1980s, I fondly remember one of my best friends in high school, Sher Ali Khan. He was a devout Muslim. While in 9th grade, Sher Ali called me ...
 
 
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12:30 AM on 06/13/2011
Beautiful article Dr. Singh...the best one I have read on this website.
10:11 AM on 06/11/2011
I had never heard of this council before. Sadly, I don't think many will agree with its organization. I do believe that there is room for harmonious interfaith living. I've always been taught to respect the beliefs of others. If you are a Sikh be a good Sikh. If you are a Christian, be a good Christian. If you are a Muslim, be a good Muslim. Don't ever force others to see it your way alone. Accept their differences. Unfortunately, many only follow a path where they believe "my way or no way".

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story and keeping a hope alive that one day it may be possible to look past a person's exterior and try to find something in common. I actually think a small show in Canada called "Little Mosque on the Prairie" does a beautiful job of illustrating interfaith understanding.
02:01 PM on 06/10/2011
It is possible to experience God.

God is dwelling within the minds of all humans known as the Holy Spirit ( BIBLE ), Naam Kelaah ( SRI GURU GRANTH SAHIB ), Roh Allah / Zat Illahi ( KORAN ), Tao / Qi ( TAO TE CHING ), Ak Parashakti ( HINDUISM ).

We are capable of achieving ' One with God " through complete surrender & deep submission while in deep meditation / prayer. Of course, the Grace of God is necessary.

With that Awareness, one can experience the Awakened God ( within self ), Who Is, therefore, also Residing within the deep Recesses of every human mind.
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Stokes
12:18 PM on 06/10/2011
Beautiful. God is the Spirit of Love and Truth. We need to see others, not in vain glory, but in the true perspective of God's love. " Ride not upon the plow, for then has the road become too bumpy."
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ZenSufi
Sisters and Brothers of America!
12:09 PM on 06/10/2011
Thomas Merton, before he converted to Catholicism, was told by a Hindu sage (in NYC, I think) to take a look at the Christian tradition of his own culture, especially the mystical writings of the ancient and medieval saints.
10:59 AM on 06/10/2011
Hello, I recently started studying Sikhism, how I got interested was tragic: two old Sikh men were recently gunned down in a park here, obviously mistaken for being Muslim. Dump Americans can't even hate right! Anyways, I have been very impressed with Sikh teachings, particularly on women, Nanak spoke of women's rights long before the concept even existed in most cultures.
10:16 AM on 06/11/2011
Yes, Nanak said:
"Of a woman we are conceived. Of women we are born. To a women we are betrothed and married. It is a woman who is a friend and partner in life. It is the woman who keeps the race going. Another companion is sought when the life-partner dies. Through women are established social ties. Why is then a woman to be considered a curse and condemned?"

"From women are born leaders and rulers; from a woman alone is born another woman. Without
women there can be no human birth. Without women, sayeth Nanak, only the True One exists.”

Nanak also emphasized that God was my father, my mother, my friend. God is gender free.
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09:41 AM on 06/10/2011
.
But why do you say that the religious parliaments work on your defined issues will make this world a safer place for our children? Are you acknowledging that the religions are also CAUSATIVE of the unsafe conditions for our children?
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BurtonDesque
Fear a Blank Planet
03:59 AM on 06/10/2011
Too bad you don't live next door to an atheist.
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Cindbird
Using my head for something other than a hat rack.
01:02 AM on 06/10/2011
The advice the author was given by that Catholic priest is the same the Dalai Lama gives when asked about becoming a Buddhist. And is very wise advice. Some of us grew up without a religious tradition and find the one that we fit best with as an adult. But in the end, all religions have one single unifying ideal, love. Some people will argue it, but it's true. Christianity, Islam and Judaism says you are created by God. And to show your love for Him, you should love others since they too are created by Him. Buddhism and Hinduism teaches that to reach Enlightenment you must love others. In Buddhism one of the Four Immeasurables is Great Love, a love which is extended to ALL beings and at ALL times. I don't know that much about Sikhs but I do know that one of the things they are taught is that you should be willing to die to protect others. That sounds like Love to me. So starting from that basis, love, there is no reason why different religions should not be able to come together to help promote peace. We may have different ways of practicing that love and a different basis for it, but we all practice love. And that is the first thing which brings about peace.
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Roxee
"Feeling" you're right, doesn't "prove" you are.
07:01 AM on 06/10/2011
You can't practice love, or have a basis for love. Love is an emotion. That is why atheists love too. No god needed.
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Cindbird
Using my head for something other than a hat rack.
01:11 PM on 06/10/2011
Actually, you CAN practice love. And the article is on Interfaith relations. As such, my post referred to the love that is part of the religious tenets of ALL faith traditions. There is a difference between the emotion love, which is that shared on an individual basis and religious love or that shared from a religious belief or set of beliefs. It is the second type of love to which I was referring.
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Roxee
"Feeling" you're right, doesn't "prove" you are.
11:32 PM on 06/09/2011
A council for a parliament of the worlds religions! So representatives of each faith are going to sit on a council and discuss what they have in common so that peace and harmony can exist between them. How this is supposed to get rid of fundamentalist believers of each faith I have no idea. After all their holy book are all different and they can't all be true. So if a zealot believes theirs is the one true book they will continue to be in conflict with others who believe there's is the one true book.
When are the religious going to get it. Sit down with each other to discuss your holy books: when they were written, who wrote them, what they say, what they insruct, etc. Don't stop until you're brain reasons that the solution isn't to pick the best of what each has to offer, but to accept that if they're all supposed to be the divine word of god he is either schizophrenic or not there. Imagine how much more peace there will be in the world without religious conflict. Imagine how much more money would be available to help the poor and suffering. Imagine how few psychopaths will take despotic control over countries because they can no longer use religion to support their pathological intentions.
10:48 PM on 06/09/2011
Great blog, and remember what Guru Nanak Dev Ji said about rituals and superstitions around eating meat. ;)
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sandalwood
songs of the shamans...
08:00 PM on 06/09/2011
Excellent blog. My Hindu cousin married into a Sikh family and on the wedding day her family's Guru said to me in conversation that "religion is not important, community is important". I came away feeling great, great respect for this elevated man of learning.
11:47 AM on 06/10/2011
The word ‘guru’ in Indian languages means teacher or guide. However, in Sikh religion, the Guru occupies a special position. The Guru and God are practically identical. According to Siri Guru
Granth Sahib: “Know Guru and God to be one and the same.” While God is unknowable and unborn, the Guru is the Perfect Being people can communicate with and from whom they receive advice. The Guru is not in the cycle of birth and death but comes to the world for the salvation of humankind. The Guru's mission is to bless people with God’s Name and to unite them with God.
DoesItMatter
empty micro bio
06:35 PM on 06/10/2011
Even in Hinduism the guru is a special person. There is this saying 'matha, pitha, guru, deva'. The guru is place even before the gods. However, the guru is not the be-all end-all of spiritual path.
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AxisV
How do we sleep while our beds are burning?
06:00 PM on 06/09/2011
When I was a kid, one of my father's closest friends from India was visiting the Bay Area and asked if we could stay at our place for a few days. My father's friend was Hindu, and we are Muslim, but they were still best friends growing up. For the few days he stayed, my mom didn't cook any meat since my father's friend was a strict vegetarian. I whined and complained since I'm a voracious carnivore, but looking back, I'm happy my father made us do that. I know he appreciated it, and I know I am richer for it.
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Jelle NL
Unity in Diversity
05:30 PM on 06/09/2011
Maybe the lesson here is: Keep your religion as private as possible - friendship first, then religion.
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Kirk Job-Sluder
05:05 PM on 06/09/2011
Nice article, thank you.