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Justin Bieber and Rob Ford Walk Into a Canadian Bar

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"The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference." - Elie Wiesel

Personally, I'm not a big fan of either -- Bieber and Ford that is. Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging them or gossiping about them or condemning them. That's not Canadian. I just don't care about them. Although I don't actually know them personally, everything I've seen and read leads me to simply write these two off. I have no problem doing that. After all, I don't judge, I don't gossip, and I certainly don't condemn. That's just not Canadian. But when I completely lose respect for someone -- BOOM -- they don't exist anymore.

We Canadians pride ourselves on not being as easily wound up as our big brother to the South. So maybe it's a Canadian thing -- writing people off. Maybe the pejorative, hipster phrase "whatever" was originally "whatever eh"? You see, Canadians have a long history of national pridelessness. We're content with bronze. (Unless it's hockey!)

We don't take ourselves too seriously and we certainly don't take politicians and celebrities seriously at all. So when Toronto's mayor does or says something stupid -- whatever. When one of Canada's biggest pop stars does or says something stupid -- whatever. BUT... when these two continue to make complete fools of themselves, to the point of ending up on Letterman's Top Ten list, well that's when us Canadians step it up a notch. We finally break out of our humble posture, hold our heads high and -- BOOM -- we write them off! Justin who? Mayor who? Guess what TMZ? We've got a little gift for ya. Colder than an Arctic Vortex -- 100 percent pure Canadian indifference!

Indifference is safe. Indifference is more "polite" than involvement. Indifference is... Canadian. You see, eventually The Mayor and The Pop Star will simply fade from celebrity-dom. So why get all wound up about something that will just go away? That's what Toronto City Council is doing. A long time ago, someone decided to set things up so that the mayor of Canada's largest city couldn't be ousted for being an ass. (That wouldn't be Canadian.)

Now, since they can't get rid of him, the Council has essentially stripped him of his powers. Ironically, even though council won't follow him, as a result of investigating real criminals, the police now follow him. In the meantime, City Hall is doing what Canadians do best. They're ignoring Rob Ford until he hopefully just goes away in the next election.

Hollywood and the music industry does something similar. Heath Ledger, Amy Winehouse, River Phoenix, Cory Monteith, Anna Nicole Smith, and Kurt Cobain were essentially ignored (at least the part of them that needed the most attention) until they went away. Apparently, tough love is too tough, especially for people being paid by the Frankenstein they helped create. Justin, himself a professed Canadian, surely must also be surrounded by Canadians. His "people" seem to be patriotically indifferent to the choices our son is making. From one Canadian to another, let me offer some words of encouragement to the Bieber entourage. Be patient my fellow hosers. Eventually your employer will simply go away. Until then -- whatever!

To those of you who have judged Rob Ford, who have gossiped about Justin Bieber, and who have condemned them both -- shame on you! That's not Christia... I mean, Canadian! Just ignore them. They'll go away! After all, indifference is patient. Indifference is kind. Indifference is... a paycheck.